Random Thoughts On Random Stuff

I'm a little under the weather so I'm enlisting the assistance of my Google Reader for some stuff to write about tonight.

NEWS: Guillermo Del Toro To Fly Solo On 'Hobbit' Directing Duties
REACTION: Wow. The article goes on to state that GDT actually has turned down an offer from Peter Jackson to assist as director or even to man a second unit himself. That's nutty stuff. I can't decide if it's incredibly ballsy on the part of GDT or if it's just a slap in the face to the man who actually managed to make Tolkien's work an amazing visual reality.

NEWS: Palin Porn On The Rise [no pun intended]
REACTION: Earlier this week, I Shared a story from my Reader that involved details on Larry Flynt's planned Palin-a-like porn including a three way with a Hillary-a-like and a Condy-a-like. High quality faire right there. But in case you were concerned that this was an isolated feature, check out this listing from Craigslist I found on one of the LA blogs I visit: "NEED SARAH PALIN LOOKALIKE ASAP FOR ADULT FILM (LA). Looking for a Sarah Palin lookalike for an adult film to be shot in next 10 days. Major adult studio. Please send pix, stats etc. ASAP. Pay: $2000-3000. No anal required."

Well, I don't know about you but I'm very happy to hear that there's no anal required because after hearing some of her beliefs on gay marriage, foreign policy, and Joe Sixpacks among other things, I'm quite convinced she has a nice, big stick already lodged up her ass.

NEWS: Lamar Odom Doesn't Get Points For Performance
REACTION: I missed the Lakers' first televised preseason game this week but apparently Lamar Odom played pretty poorly or to quote Phil Jackson, "He looks like he's either curling or doing some other kind of sport. He's not playing basketball." Wow. Did he really look that bad? Or was this just another typical Lamar game? Combine this with his early training camp bitching about coming off the bench, I expect his expiring contract will be danged early and often to every team in the league soon.

I couldn't find a headline for this one but how about the news that broke this week from a couple of Seth Petruzelli interviews where he heavily implied that EXC paid him to stay standing with Kimbo rather than try to take him down. Granted, that's not an out and out "fixing" of the fight but it's not far off. Paying a fighter to take one stylistic approach to a fight is a very dangerous road to walk. Some will view it as EXC trying to make it a "more exciting fight" but some will, very accurately in my opinion, assume that they were trying to get him to fight a gameplan that would play into Kimbo's hands. Interesting, no?

And I guess that'll do... oh wait... there's one other exciting piece of news, huh?

NLCS STARTS TOMORROW! GO DODGERS!

Think It Over... Creep.

Don't worry. I've still got a Top 5 Friday for you later today [and I think it's a pretty good one] but I just this from our friends at AICN and had to comment.

What the hell is with the movie and TV industries these days?

I know that seems to be a frequent topic around here but as a struggling and aspiring writer, it's painful to see dreck after dreck after dreck green-lighted while I chip away at something new and fresh and fun. See, if I was already successful at this career path, I could just rip off something already out there and be a millionaire overnight [that little faggot's got his own jet airplane... that little faggot he's a millionaire... we got to install- never mind.]

I really don't get it. I don't understand why it's so difficult for Hollywood to embrace new ideas. I understand why from a business aspect, I suppose... the devil you know and all. But creatively, it's a nightmare. You saw my post last night about a relaunch of Beverly Hills 90210. It's a perfect example. It's just the brand name they want. As you read more and more about it, it becomes more and more apparent they plan to start fresh with completely new characters. Then why call it 90210? Branding. It's a familiar brand to people and it's a blatant attempt to cash in on the good will of fans of the first show.

Want some more?

What about the piles of remakes and sequels that are filling up the slates of every movie studio [and some TV studios - Bionic Woman, anyone?] in town?

Take a look at this snippet from an MGM press release...

"MGM is planning an exciting fall and winter release schedule. In partnership with Sony Pictures Entertainment, MGM will bring new installments of two of its tentpole franchises -- the new James Bond movie QUANTUM OF SOLACE and Steve Martin in PINK PANTHER 2. MGM will also release United Artists' international thriller VALKYRIE, starring Tom Cruise on October 3. With the appointment of Parent, MGM will enter its new phase of evolution by focusing on its major movie franchises highlighted by JAMES BOND and PINK PANTHER sequels, THE HOBBIT, THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR 2, THE OUTER LIMITS, ROBOCOP, DEATH WISH and FAME, among others."

Okay... so, another Bond. That's fine. Casino Royale was a lot of fun so they earned some street cred from me on that one. Pink Panther 2?! Did anyone even see Pink Panther 1?! I have yet to ever have a conversation with anyone in the world that contained the phrase, "Hey, you really should check out the Pink Panther movie!" So, in that one we have a sequel to a franchise that probably should have been left alone.

The Hobbit? No complaints there.

Thomas Crown Affair 2? What the fuck? Was there some great untold story in the life of Thomas Crown that I missed in the first one? I won't completely shat on this one because I dug the first one... although that in itself is a remake. Sequels to remakes... what will they think of next?

FAME?! You're re-doing FAME?! Let me guess. It'll be "modernized" into a "Step Up 2" style plot line. Awesome. We don't have enough dance crew movies and TV shows. It's soddin' brilliant, mate.

I'm going to ignore the other two in favor of going...



WHY IN THE HOLY FUCK WOULD YOU GO BACK TO ROBOCOP?!

There are two possibilities here. They're going to slightly piss me off by going back and doing another sequel to a movie that had two too many shitty sequels OR they're going to SEVERELY piss me off and go back and remake one of the most picture perfect action movies ever. Either way, it's enough to make you want to track down MGM's studio head and give him a, "Dead or alive, you're coming with me."

And now to add on to the, "What the fuck?" for the day.

Thanks to AICN, I also discovered that NBC is close to green-lighting a show where Christian Slater plays a dual personality... a Jekyll/Hyde thing where one personality is a nice, kind stay at home dad versus a superspy. Oooookay. And to top it off, this is operating under NBC's new policy of not needing a pilot to approve the series. Really? You sure you want to do that, guys? Christian Slater rules the world and all but... seriously?

And the icing on the cake. FOX is close to greenlighting a new animated series by the creator of the brilliant Arrested Development. But before they do, the entire future of that series will be decided by the network suits watching a reading of the show's script by the cast.

...

An animated series... being judged on a cast reading.

I don't even know where to start with that.

And so I won't!