i'm A Mac: Prepare To Die

On the eve of Macworld, this seems appropriate. Much thanks to Phil for the linkage.

Mac vs PC - Transformers @ Yahoo! Video

More Than Meets The Eye?

Earlier this week, news broke that Universal was developing a Transformers attraction for both the Hollywood and Singapore parks. The news was met by initial apathy from me because I think the last the last time Universal made an effort to really put something special in the Hollywood park was Jurassic Park [although I haven't been to the park in years.]

But as the press release went on, it quickly sounded like this was no mere stunt show or small add-on to the Tram Ride or any number of "quick-fix" attractions that Universal Hollywood is known for. This sounded like a serious effort to put a high-dollar, high-entertainment attraction in the park. So, I was cautiously enthused by the announcement and started wondering if Universal putting big money into Transformers and Harry Potter [in Florida] would drive the Mouse to step up their game as well.

I remain enthused - but I had to share Michael Bay's thoughts on the project because... well, he's a jackass. An incredibly rich jackass but a jackass nonetheless. Take a look...

The Transformer Ride at Universal making all the press rounds - not sure yet - they had me in a press release saying I supported it - but Universal has a long way to go in my mind. I don't support it - I'm not involved and not sure the story of the ride works, and I know Optimus is not going to just show up to be directed by some new people that have never worked with him. I hate when people bullsh*t a quote from me that I never said.

I'll keep you informed. Maybe the guy making the rides at Universal will direct Transformers 3????

It's an amazing thing to see someone who is pretty much treated as a punchline to most "bad director" jokes take himself so seriously.

But hey, he's rich and making a movie that I'd gladly kill him to have the chance to make so I guess I have little ground to stand on.

You Got The Touch!

Whoops!

Got so caught up watching Transformers and the HBO movie Recount, I forgot all about you guys.

So, you get something short just to beat the clock.

GI Joe Vs Transformers

Ahhh, remember the days of yore when Marvel released a GI Joe versus The Transformers miniseries? Good times. And then years later, when both comics had been relaunched by Devil's Due, they repeated it? Not as good of times. Although it did inspire killer statues like...



Anyways... on this very late Sunday night, I thought I'd review a handful of news and rumors about the upcoming GI Joe movie as well as the Transformers sequel [which I can't read much about because my lazy ass still hasn't watched the first one... but I do own it on DVD so I'm one step closer - besides, can it really be any better than Transformers: The Movie where millions of innocent children collectively gasped around the world when Starscream said "shit?"] that have made their way across the Interweb in the past few days.

** DEVASTAAAAATOR!
Rumors are running rampant that the Constructicons will be in the Transformers sequel with the news that set fanboys all atwitter that yes, where the Constructicons go, DEVASTATOR is sure to follow. Now, if only we can get the Dinobots involved.

** "Latino Review reports that Brendan Fraser has filmed what sounds like a cameo as Gung Ho in G.I. Joe, while Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has been offered the role of Shipwreck."
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! How many god damn Joes do we need in this flick? Brendan Fraser?!? ENCINO MAN?!?! Have these people even fucking seen a Gung Ho action figure? Gung Ho is all beefy and brawny and asskickingly cool. Brendan Fraser is the guy who pissed himself when he saw the ocean in Blast From The Past [a highly underrated flick where Ms. Silverstone (if you're nasty) is scorching hot]... he is not Gung Ho.



The Rock as Shipwreck? Barring any racially motivated "that's not rights" - I can sorta see it. BUT I DON'T NEED TO! HOW HARD IS THIS MOVIE TO MAKE?! You needed Hawk, Snake Eyes, Scarlett, Stalker, and maybe a couple more to start with. Gung Ho would have been fine to add to the group... SIX MONTHS AGO! You don't need the cavalcade of Joes who're going to be on screen too quickly to notice or too shallow to give a shit about. Did no one learn anything from that X-Men 3 rubbish?

** Logo for GI Joe movie goes active
Apparently discovered at a toy show, here you go...



I'm filled with large amounts of indifference. It's not exactly inspiring me to do cartwheels, pull all my toys out of the closet, and support Sgt. Slaughter blindly in all that he does. You know what bugs me about it? It's that fucking star. It reminds me of the scene in LA Story [another criminally underrated movie] where Sarah Jessica Parker [before she was famous] and Steve Martin are on a date. He asks her for her name and she replies it's "Sandy"... or so you think! When Martin replies that it's nice to meet a girl with a normal name unlike all the people with weird names now like Tiffany spelled with a p-h-i or instead of Nancy, it's Nanceen. Sandy replies that her name is SanDeE... with that exact capitalization... and that there's a star at the end. And that my friends, is what I think of the GI Joe movie logo.

It's shiny, fancy, and has a star randomly fucking placed for IMPACT. And yes, the old logo had a star but I'm standing firm in my belief that this star blows ass... you may quote me.

Gah... I thought there was more. That's all I've got!

Back tomorrow with a crazy-ass story about Superman that you do NOT want to miss!

How's that for a teaser?