Eeeks!

Just got home from a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn[wait for it]nnnnnnnnnnnnnnng day that started innocently enough with a little shopping and plans to visit IKEA... maybe a little Bed Bath And Beyond [I'm not sure if we'll have time!] devolved into a barrage of technological insanity.

First, a phone call. "I just bought a ton of electronic equipment and I need your help in assembling. Can you drop everything you had planned for the day and assist?" Me, being the extraordinary friend and world-class human being that I am? "Umm...err... ummm... well, okay, I guess."

I arrive to find a new TV... a PS3... a new DVD Recorder... a new quasi-surround sound system and more gold-plated cabling than you can shake a stick at. Oh, and did I mention a new stand for said equipment that needed to be built?

Hours later, all equipment was installed, connected, and powered on... but as typically happens in such an install, there was one quirk... one monkey in the wrench. There was no sound.

I plugged and unplugged cables. I played with settings on the TV. I played with settings on the sound system. I stared blankly like Festus from Friday Night Smackdown as I tried to run the cables in my brain to see where the problem lied. I started drinking, searching for liquid inspiration.

And in the end?

It works. And I'm tired.

Quite the day!

You'll excuse me if you call me tomorrow and "it goes to voicemail."

Just kidding...

...maybe.

Oh, by the way, I fucking hate Jake Peavy.

Top Five Friday

Ok, ok... time is ticking.

By suggestion...

Top Five NBA MVP Candidates!

5. Tim Duncan
How do you not have Tim Duncan listed on any listing of MVP candidates? You can list your Dwight Howards for taking Orlando to the division title or your Tracy McGradys for that incredible winning streak or your Steve Nashs for keeping Phoenix near the top again but in the end, it's still Tim Duncan... the Spurs are still one of the best teams in the league... and he's still one of the best players in the game. He automatically makes this list for me easily.

4. Lebron James
Honestly, I'm not all that impressed with Cleveland. They made the playoffs, sure, but they're squeaking in as a four seed in an absolutely abysmal Eastern Conference. You can't deny that he's a great player and that Cleveland would be horrific without him but... come on, they're not _that_ good to bestow the MVP on him.

3. Kevin Garnett
You gotta give someone credit for the Celtics being so great this year and I guess KG is a better choice than Ray Allen, right? It's hard to really gush all over him though considering he did join Allen and Paul Pierce. Put those three on any team and I gotta think they're very competitive. I don't think KG's done enough individually to lift that team up to be worthy of the MVP nor is he the best player in the game.

2. Chris Paul
Where you run into an issue here is when you determine what makes an MVP to you. Is it the best player in the game or is it the player that if you took him off his team, his team is a low lottery team? Chris Paul has done an absolutely incredible job with the Hornets and if they managed to finish the season in the top spot of the Conference, I would have absolutely no issues with him as the MVP. I can't really make an argument against him other than he's not the best player in the game.

1. Kobe Bryant
Now, _he_ is the best player in the game. You can argue that he lifted the Lakers into the top spot in the West [with the help of a rapidly developing Andrew Bynum]. Those two things together should be enough to win the MVP for him unless the Lakers bottom out before the season's end. Kobe and Chris Paul are #1/2 in my mind and are almost interchangeable. It's hard to pick one over the other... extremely hard but with my heart wearing purple and gold, I'm picking Kobe as the MVP.

Diversity Day

Running a few errands this afternoon and I thought I'd remotely share 5 Things iPod About You.

With the iPod on random, the first five artists I listened to were Eazy E, Kid And Play, Creedence, The Four Tops, and the Aquabats.

Ahhh, sweet sweet diversity!
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

UFC Picks Results

Ugh. Pretty sure I bombed on this one. Haven't checked for sure yet though.

Here's where I was before the show:

21 out of 37 for the year for .568
Moneywise - +86.50 for the year

After the show:
28 out of 49 for the year for .571
Moneywise - $126.50 for the year

Money! Money! Yeaaaah! Yeaaaah!
And I actually increased my average. Neato mosquito.

Next picks event is for the UFC PPV where I will likely be rooting for Matt Serra over that dastardly Canadian GSP.

PICK: David over Goliath via slingshot in Rd 2

Yes, it's that time again. There's a UFC Fight Night tonight so it's time to continue the ongoing drama of Blue's 2008 UFC Picks.

First, let's see how I'm doing so far this year...

21 out of 37 for the year for .568
Moneywise - +86.50 for the year

A looooooooooooot of fights tonight. 12 fights, good grief. Alright, let's get crackin', son!

Location: Broomfield, Colo.
Venue: Broomfield Event Center
Broadcast: Spike TV

PRELIMINARY CARD
---
Anthony Johnson vs. Tommy Speer
ODDS: Speer -220, Johnson +180
Johnson is 4-1 coming off a loss to Rich Clementi. Speer is 9-2 coming off a loss to Mac Danzig. This one really could go either way. I'm going with Speer since he has the experience edge.
PICK: Tommy Speer via TKO (strikes in Rd 1)
BET: None

Roman Mitichyan vs. George Sotiropoulos
ODDS: Mitichyan +160, Sotiropoulos -200
Mitichyan is 5-1 coming off a three fight win streak - no one of note on his record though. George is 8-2 and is on a two fight win streak. I'm going with George.
PICK: George via submission [RNC in Rd 2]
BET: None

Samy Schiavo vs. Clay Guida
ODDS: Guida -600, Schiavo +400
Schiavo is 10-4 on a six fight win streak. Clay Guida met my friends Phil & Stacy recently - oh, and he's 22-9. He's got a real spotty record though with losses to Huerta, Griffin, and Din Thomas of all people in 2007. Just because I know it'll piss Phil off, I'm picking the upset!
PICK: Samy Schiavo via TKO (strikes in Rd 1)
BET: $15 on Schiavo to win $60

Jeff Cox vs. Manny Gamburyan
ODDS: Cox +500, Manny -800
Cox is 9-4 with a spotty track record. Manny is 7-2 with one of the losses that fluke shoulder injury in the Diaz fight. This looks like a setup to build Manny back up. I'm picking Manny but the bet on Cox is worth a shot.
PICK: Manny via submission (guillotine in Rd 2)
BET: $15 on Cox to win $75

Josh Neer vs. Din Thomas
ODDS: Neer +!60, Thomas -200
Neer is 23-6-1 in his first fight back in the UFC since August of '06. Since then, he's fought seven times - fighting six times in 2007. Impressive. Thomas is 20-7 coming off a first round loss to Kenny Florian. I'm thinking Neer is the hungrier fighter right now and I'm picking the slight upset.
PICK: Josh Neer via decision
BET: None

Marcus Aurelio vs. Ryan Roberts
ODDS: Marcus -800, Roberts +500
Jeez. Another long odds fight. Marcus is 15-5 but only fought twice in 2007 - a loss to Guida and a win over a scrub. But he's beaten Gomi once and taken him to a decision a second time - an impressive feat. Roberts is 8-2 coming in on a two fight win streak to make his UFC debut. I'm picking Maximus to win but I'm tempted by the long odds as usual.
PICL: Marcus Aurelio via submission (armbar in Rd 1)
BET: $15 on Roberts to win $75

TELEVISED CARD
---
Frankie Edgar vs. Gray Maynard
ODDS: Edgar -220, Maynard +180
Edgar is 8-0 coming off a win over Spencer Fisher. Maynard's 4-0. A battle of the undefeated. I'm a little more impressed with the competition that Edgar has faced so far so I'm picking a win for him.
PICK: Edgar by decision
BET: None

Nate Diaz vs. Kurt Pellegrino
ODDS: Diaz -145, Pellegrino +115
Very close odds on this one. Diaz is 8-2 on a three fight win streak. Pellegrino is 11-3 with some decent names on his record. Diaz has looked unstoppable in his last few fights so I'm going with him.
PICK: Diaz by decision
BET: None

Houston Alexander vs. James Irvin
ODDS: Houston -250, Irvin +190
Ahhh... Houston Alexander. The world wanted to make him a superstar so badly after the two surprise KOs but Thiago Silva brought him back down to Earth. This will probably be the fight that decides if Dana keeps Houston around. Irvin is 13-4 but doesn't have the most impressive record against anyone with a name (although he does have a NC on his record for a fight against Bobby Southworth where they both fell from the cage... good shit.) I think Houston realizes if he loses here, he's probably gone and will fight accordingly.
PICK: Houston by TKO (strikes in Rd 1)
BET: None

Tim Boetsch vs. Matt Hamill
ODDS: Hamill -180, Boetsch +150
Hamill is 3-1 and is coming off that bullshit decision loss to Bisping. I expect he'll be out to prove a point tonight. Boetsch is 7-1 and this is his "reward" for stepping into a late fight with David Heath back in Feb. He'll be hungry to make sure he can stay in the UFC. I'm guessing this'll be quite the slugfest.
PICK: Hamill by TKO (strikes in Rd 2)
BET: $25 on Hamill to win $14

Thiago Alves vs Karo Parisyan
ODDS: Karo -170, Alves +140
Thiago is 13-3 and on a four fight win streak. Karo is 18-4 on a three fight win streak. Both men are looking to get in the picture to fight the winner of Serra/GSP. Karo also serves in kind of a gatekeeper role for the division so this should be an interesting fight. Karo gets treated as an afterthought but he's no pushover. He's got wins over some top guys in the division.
PICK: Karo by decision
BET: None

Kenny Florian vs Joe Lauzon
ODDS: KenFlo -185, Lauzon +155
I love me some Kenny Florian. He's 8-3 on a three fight win streak and is looking to get the winner of Sherk/Penn. Lauzon is 16-3 on a six fight win streak including his stunning win over Jens Pulver. This should be an excellent fight and really could go either way quite easily. I'm gonna be like George Michael though... I'm gonna have faith in my boy KenFlo.
PICK: Florian by submission [RNC in Rd 2]
BET: $30 to win $16

And that's that. Check back tomorrow to see how I did.

March Mixtape + Stuff

Firstly, I want to announce that the March Mixtape is going to be delayed for a few days or so. The songs are selected but I REALLY want to do something different with it and I don't have the equipment to do so at the moment. I'm hoping to have that resolved by the weekend.

Now, with that out of the way... some random randomness to get you through the day...

NEWS: Dennis Quaid wraps on GI Joe
REPLY: Well, the interesting thing about that is that the production moved to the Czech Republic where I presume they will shoot action footage. That makes me curious. Does that mean Hawk isn't in any of the battle scenes? If so, that's a unique creative choice. Not bad nor good... just unique. On a side "NEWS", the actor playing Storm Shadow completed his first scenes on set recently. I'm stoked to see him in costume.

NEWS: DODGERS WIN!
REPLY: 1 down, 161 to go. It was a great Opening Day with a great win over the arch-rival Giants but perhaps more entertaining, a tremendous pre-game ceremony with tons and tons of former Dodgers in the house for it. Even a first pitch from Sandy Koufax. Just awesome.

NEWS: Ric Flair retires
REPLY: The last twenty minutes of Raw were perhaps the greatest 20 minutes of Raw ever. It was so emotional, as stirring, as moving of a segment that professional wrestling is capable of. Old friends, old rivals, people inspired by the man, people who aspired to be "the man" - everyone was present for without a doubt the greatest farewell I've ever seen. Even non-wrestling fans should watch those 20 minutes and I defy you to not at least feel a tug on your heartstrings. Thanks for the memories, Ric... one last time.

NEWS: Dolly Parton Night on AI
REPLY: Oh god. I don't think I've ever looked forward less to American Idol.

NEWS: The Ultimate Fighter starts tomorrow night
REPLY: Could be good, could be bad. Ask me Thursday.

That oughta do it for today. Evenin', folks!

GAME ON!

I am quite drained from the emotional roller coaster of the Ric Flair retirement yesterday but not enough to not be extremely psyched for Opening Day today. Of course, some would argue it's not really Opening Day since the Sox and A's opened the season in Japan last week. Or some might argue that since the first stateside game was last night, this is just another day in the season.

To me, the first day the Dodgers play is always Opening Day. And there's just nothing quite like opening the season at home.

I love going to Opening Day. The stadium always looks so beautiful on that first day - like an old friend you haven't seen in six months. You can smell the fresh cut grass when you walk in. Your neck cranes from left to right to pick up those little [or major] changes made over the off-season. The people are excited - there's the "audacity of hope" in the air that you are about to start a World Championship season. I've always imagined that feeling being echoed in ballparks all over the United States on Opening Day - even in places like Kansas City and Tampa Bay where their chances are slim and none with slim scheduled to be contracted along with Minnesota - but that the hope is there nonetheless. For at least just that one day, they can imagine their team in the World Series battling for the championship.

And the Dodger Dogs, oh my god, the Dodger Dogs. You can smell them from a mile away... as soon as you get parked and cast your first glance on Blue Heaven On Earth, you can seemingly smell the greatest hot dog in professional sports. It's not a "Friar Frank"... it's not a "Halo Dog"... it's not a... hey, in Oakland, do they call their hot dog "A Dog?" It's the Dodger Dog. The hot dog that the Good Lord Almighty himself [if you believe in Moses bringing down the Ten Commandments, you know, the actual stone tables and smashing them into dust... if you believe in that sort of thing] reached down from the heavens and deposited into the grandest cathedral in all of baseball.

I'm heading out the door [sadly not to the game] shortly so before I go... a quick [maybe] story of my favorite Opening Day...

The year was 2005. And we had decided to buy a Dodgers "mini-plan" of tickets that would give us 4 tickets to games throughout the season... including Opening Day. The audacity of hope was in the air that season, having just battled into the playoffs the season prior.

The drama starts days before the game as two of the people scheduled to attend the game with us, two of Mrs. Blue's siblings [names withheld to protect the innocent... AND THE GUILTY!], announce they may be unable to attend. They ask us to find replacements for them. Mrs. Blue fills one slot with another sibling and I offer the final to Poff Daddy. He agrees and we're set.

The night before the game, Poff Daddy pulls what is known in circles as "The Poff Flake." He starts with a wishy-washy excuse... something about traffic is possible. Then the excuses get more bizarre... he starts accusing the Dodgers of not being worth driving that far to see because... well, Paul LoDuca had been traded among others. Eventually, it turns into, "I'm not that much of a baseball fan anyways. Give it to someone else." With literally less than 24 hours til game time, we give up and just assume that ticket will be wasted.

The next morning we get off to a late start driving to the game because... well, because it's Mrs. Blue and her sister which automatically means we'll be late to anything. Traffic is predictably snaggled which makes for a slow-go and I start getting a little nervous. As someone who can't stand missing the previews at the movies, the idea of missing the opening ceremonies on Opening Day has me nearly pulling my hair out. At some point, I turn the radio on so I can at least hear the awards being given out.

We're getting closer, battling the Los Angeles traffic, as the game ticks closer as well. We emerge into the Dodger Stadium parking lot with just minutes before game time - ordinarily a fairly easy task but on this particular Opening Day, there was absolutely not a single parking space to be found. While scouring two filled lots, the Dodgers fall behind early with starter Derek Lowe giving up a home run and putting the Dodgers down 5-0 before they even come to the plate. Ultimately, I end up parking in a place that's basically an empty space between two lots. I am assured by a random parking attendant that I won't get towed. I cross my fingers and head for the turnstiles.

By the time we reach our seats, I'm quite grumbly. I'm bitching about the fact that I took the day off work for this and that I can't even get to my seats before the fourth inning. The top of the 4th arrives, I sit down in my seat with my Dodger Dog that I really can't even enjoy. The Dodgers are down... not huge but enough that I'm pissed off and there's no changing that.

They rally here and there, chipping away but coming up short. I'm disgusted by the team, I'm disgusted by the day - at this point I just want to go home and wallow in my misery. I'm so annoyed that when Mrs. Blue's brother arrives at the stadium to claim the final seat, I actually volunteer to go up and give him the ticket so I don't have to watch the game.

By the time we reach the bottom of the ninth and the place has thinned out greatly, the score is 8-5... not insurmountable but for a team with notoriously questionable offense, it's not looking good and I'm still in a pretty foul mood. The Giants bring in Armando Benitez and my mood is not improving.

But they kept chipping away and soon, Milton Bradley came to the plate with a 8-7 score and a mentally drained home crowd finding a little life in their hearts to try and root the much-maligned Bradley on.

A shot to left field seems to be a single that'll tie the game...

...and it shoots right under the left fielder's glove, allowing one more run to come home and putting the Dodgers in first place with a score of 9-8. The players were thrilled, Bradley being mobbed by the team. The fans were jumping up and down all over the stadium, hugging and high-fiving random strangers like we had just won the division... not the championship mind you, the division. I can't even imagine what people will do to strangers the day that World Championship returns to Dodger Stadium...

...but hopefully I'll have an answer to that in six months.

It was one of my favorite days in Dodger Stadium in all the years I've been going there and in the end, it proves the moral of my story.

On Opening Day, everyone can... and should... have the audacity of hope.

Play ball.

The Tingle

I said a week or so ago that Wrestlemania this year didn't have the feel yet. It didn't have "the buzz."

Now, with hours to go, I've got the tingle. The feeling of anticipation. The hype going through the roof. The knowledge that we're just hours away from the once a year extravaganza.

It's slowly been building over the past week but sometime in the past two days, I just felt it. I could feel the tingle and knew I was ready for the biggest spectacle in "sports entertainment."

And with the tingle going strong, that leaves only one thing left to do.

PREDICTIONS AND FANTASY BOOKING!

Let 'er rip!

ECW TITLE BATTLE ROYAL
Lots of big bodies in there. Not too many that they'd want to put on PPV. With the outdoor setting, I gotta imagine the effects guys are going crazy with what they could do with Kane's entrance.
SHOULD BE: Kane - someone around that long deserves the big PPV bonus. My runner-up in a "he deserves better than he's gotten" is Stevie Richards.
WILL BE: Kane - gotta imagine they want the fire entrance on PPV and he's really the only guy they can put in with Chavo at Mania and have the crowd care.

ECW TITLE MATCH - Chavo Guerrero vs Kane
This seems like a good time to go away from the pretty bad Chavo push. Kane as the ECW champ doesn't do much for me but it might draw a few more eyeballs to ECW and at minimum, would seem to put the ECW Title on a higher level than it currently is.
SHOULD BE: Kane - not much left to do with Chavo in that spot
WILL BE: Kane - big men = ratings in Vince's mind

BUNNYMANIA - Ashley/Maria vs Beth Phoenix/Melina
I'm not about to go back and look but has the Playboy cover girl ever lost her Mania match? Ideally, this match is used to have someone pin Beth to set her up for a title shot. But Ashley and Maria aren't what I'd have in mind for that. Maybe a Mickie James interference? They kinda went away from that angle though. This match would've been a hundred times better if Lawler was on the face side and Santino was with the heels in the ring.
SHOULD BE: Ashley/Maria with outside help from someone ready to go for the title
WILL BE: Ashley/Maria with lots of bad wrestling and Snoop Dogg getting to lay out Santino.

BELFAST BRAWL - Finlay vs JBL
How do you not have the avenging father win here? Expect a Hornswoggle return to help Finlay... maybe. I saw somewhere online someone suggest the idea that Hornswoggle turn on Finlay because he's mad that Finlay never told him that he was his father... that he used him to embarrass Vince, etc. I'm not opposed to that idea but I just don't know where that goes. Hornswoggle with JBL? Hornswoggle with Vince? Actually, JBL playing Raven to Finlay's Sandman with Hornswoggle as Tyler would be pretty cool. Hornswoggle throwing little Clotheslines From Hell. Hrmm... I like it!
SHOULD BE: JBL wins with Hornswoggle interference to further the feud because I could watch JBL and Finlay face off for months.
WILL BE: Finlay wins with Hornswoggle interference

Batista vs Umaga
I think this match is going to be far cooler than anyone expects. Umaga is amazingly good and gets so little credit for it. I expect this one to be a potential show stealer if given the time and latitude.
SHOULD BE: Umaga wins through some nefarious means. Batista attacks him the next night on Raw. Raw trades Umaga/London/Kendrick to Smackdown for the returning Matt Hardy and a player to be named later.
WILL BE: Batista wins to give Smackdown a cookie

MONEY IN THE BANK
My dream booking of this has Matt Hardy run in right after the bell and start participating in the match. He goes straight for MVP and stays on MVP for most of the match. Security tries to force him out from time to time, but he keeps breaking free and re-joining the fray. Have him do some of the Jeff spots to pop the crowd.
SHOULD BE: A returning Matt Hardy to the push of a lifetime.
WILL BE: MVP [which is my backup "SHOULD BE" if Matt Hardy's not in the cards]

BIG SHOW VS MAYWEATHER
This could be spectacular or it could be a spectacular trainwreck. Basically, this match has become two heels squaring off and I just don't know what you do with that. My gut says they convinced Mayweather to lose to Show. I expect chaos, wild brawling, and a chokeslam. The only thing that sticks in my craw is Mayweather's people hyping a big swerve that no one will see coming. I just can't figure out what that would be.
SHOULD BE: Big Show - you don't pay all that money to bring the Show back and have him lose to someone three times smaller than him
WILL BE: Double DQ - I could see it getting thrown out with Floyd's posse hits the ring and some of the unused WWE guys on the show charge in to brawl with them.

WORLD TITLE MATCH - Edge vs Undertaker
I don't think anyone envisions a scenario where Edge wins this. It's interesting because so many people were picking Orton to beat Taker a few years ago because Orton "Was the future of the WWE." Isn't Edge closer to the future of the WWE than Orton is yet no one is picking Edge at all?
SHOULD BE: Taker
WILL BE: Taker

RIC FLAIR VS SHAWN MICHAELS
I just can't pick against Flair. It just seems wrong that Flair's career is going to end in such a foregone conclusion. Of all the predictions on the Internet, almost no one is picking Flair to win. It's just not right.
SHOULD BE: Ric Flair wins... and then retires in a tearful speech, saying beating Shawn Michaels on the biggest stage of them all is as good as it gets and he wants this night to live forever.
WILL BE: Flair goes out on his back and we all cry

WWE Title Match - Randy Orton vs Triple H vs John Cena
Triple H doesn't need the title and there's really no matches I'm dying to see him in with it. John Cena doesn't need the title and there's really no matches I'm dying to see him in with it. Randy Orton has been treated as an afterthought in this whole angle and deserves to sneak out the victory. So, imagine Orton sneaking in an RKO on Cena and getting the win. The crowd is stunned. Orton's music is playing as the show appears to be over. And here comes Matt Hardy, MITB case in hand. Matt grabs the mic, says this one is for Jeff... short five minutes match... Twist of Fate puts the gold on Matt Hardy and the place goes nutty as the show ends. Now _that's_ a finish.
SHOULD BE: Randy Orton leading to Matt Hardy winning the title
WILL BE: Triple H gets the gold back

And that's that.

See you tomorrow for a special MLB Opening Day post!

Pre-season almost over

So, the Dodgers lost the big Coliseum game.

It's a shame but hey, it's all in good fun. It was for charity. It was a fun and unique game to see. And I dig seeing the Red Sox in town. If it was an official game, I'd be all over it. A preseason game makes it lose some of its luster.

Game's over - but the season's about to begin.

I'm so stoked for the season to start especially with the Lakers dropping two disappointing games in a row. Monday can not arrive quick enough. Opening against the Giants is always fun as well.

This is one of those "phone it in" posts. It's one hour "til deadline."

So sue me!

I feel like I should give something more though. Hrmm.


OH MY GOD!

They used to play this song on the "Dodgers Radio Network" back in the day. I adored it. It was such a fun, feel-good moment whenever it would come on. And now, I give it to you...

...WITH F'N LEGOS!

Top Five Friday

Looks like we're going out tonight so I can't procrastinate and do this posting at 11:50 PM tonight to "just beat deadline."

I had a hard time trying to pick a topic this week since I felt like I should do something both baseball related and wrestling related since Wrestlemania is this weekend and the Dodgers open up on Monday [plus have the big game at the Coliseum tomorrow night against the Red Sox.]

But since I still intend to write something about Wrestlemania this weekend, I give you...

My Top 5 Memorable Moments In Dodgers History.

Let me preface this by saying it has to be an event that I actually remember happening [preferably hearing or seeing.] This rules out things like Fernandomania in '81, Bob Welch striking out Reggie Jackson, etc. Also, I reserve the right to change this list every day for the rest of my life.

Here we go...

5. BACK TO BACK TO BACK TO BACK
Who can forget it? Bottom of the 9th in mid September. Dodgers down by four. the Padres opt to not bring in Hoffman with a 4 run lead. I remember being so pissed at the Dodgers at that point, barely watching the game while it was on. It starts simple enough. Jeff Kent hits a solo shot. Hey, that's cool. Too little, too late, right? J.D. Drew up next... he does the same. Well, that's interesting. The Pads bring in Hoffman at that point and I figure that'll do it. Russell Martin is next and there goes another solo shot. At this point, I'm stunned. I haven't seen three HRs in a row in... well, maybe ever. I'm intrigued as Marlon Anderson comes to the plate. Not like there's any chance of- holy fucking shit. 4 HRs in a row to tie the game in the 9th. And the Dodgers go on to win on a walk-off homerun by Nomar in extra innings. Four HRs in a row - something that hadn't happen in over 40 years. Absolutely amazing.

By the by, I REALLY wanted the 4 in a row for the video here but... well, this was damn cool too.



4. LIMA TIME

Okay, this one REALLY rocks for me because I was there. To set the stage, the Dodgers are at home against the Cardinals in the 2004 playoffs. The Dodgers have not won a playoff game since 1988. The fans are sick with the idea that they're about to get swept out of the playoffs again. Enter Jose Lima - a journeyman pitcher who had managed to win the hearts of Dodgers fans with his crazy antics and intense spirit. Lima manages to throw a five-hitter of electrifying baseball to shut down the Cards and give the Dodgers one more chance. Of course, they failed - but I still get this game to remember. Oh, and Mrs. Blue almost blinded me for life by hitting me in the eye with a rally towel at one point.

3. FINLEY WITH THE SLAM
Ahhhh, yes. In 2004, the Dodgers went into the final game of the season with one more chance to win the division and get into the playoffs. As you can tell from above, it happened... but how it happened was another Dodger moment nothing short of legendary. The Dodgers were bad that day... so bad that they entered the 9th inning against the arch-rival Giants down by seven runs. Things looked bad... real bad. But they chipped away and away and away, aided by some fielding troubles by the Giants and found themselves suddenly with the bases loaded and a victory within one swing of the bat. The man taking that swing? Steve Finley. And one swing later, the Dodgers were in the playoffs in one of the most unbelievable scenes ever witnessed in Dodger Stadium.

I kinda dig these videos taken from the crowd. This one actually gave me chills at the slam itself - just took a little while to get there.



2. HERSHISER BEATS DRYSDALE

Ahhh, memories. Orel Hershiser closing out the 1988 season by cementing his Cy Young campaign by going for the consecutive scoreless innings streak - a record held by then-Dodgers broadcaster Don Drysdale. Drysdale was actually in the dugout as Hershiser took the mound with one more inning to go until the record was his. It was as special of a moment as you can imagine.

1. IN THE YEAR OF THE IMPROBABLE, THE IMPOSSIBLE HAS HAPPENED!
Like there's any doubt what was going to be number one. I can't do this justice. All I can add to the video below is I was an 11 year old kid jumping around my living room, leaping off of couches, and it's one of the best memories of my life. Thanks, Gibby.



And for a little bit of the "lighter side" of this moment...



Game on, baby. I hope I can add to this list come November. GO DODGERS!

Under The Gun!

Trying to watch the Celebrity Apprentice Finale before Mrs. Blue falls asleep. So, I don't have time for a full post. Take this and enjoy it!

108-95

What can you say?

The Lakers have their own fate in their hands. They went into tonight leading the Western Conference - albeit barely. The Conference is in the tightest race of all time where one or two wins or losses can move you drastically in either direction.

It is a crazy race and one where you can not afford to lose to the teams you should be beating.

Tonight, the Spurs beat the Clippers... like they're supposed to. Houston beat Minnesota... like they're supposed to. New Orleans beat Cleveland... which you can debate all you want but they were probably supposed to.

And Phoenix lost to the Celtics... like they were supposed to!

The Lakers? The Lakers fell 108-95 to the Charlotte Bobcats - the same Bobcats that are in 12th place in the horrid Eastern Conference. The same Bobcats who were 6-28 on the road going in to tonight. The same- you get the point.

I realize they're undermanned right now with Pau and Bynum... and Ariza... and Mihm... and... good lord. But, it's the Bobcats. You gotta beat teams like that. You just don't have a choice. You can't put it in neutral until your big men come back.

So, if the Lakers manage to win the Conference, tonight's loss is just a memory. But if they don't, it's one of those games you can look back on and cringe as to the reason they're facing a better team in the first round than they should.

Only about a month left, boys. Don't take your foot off the gas now.

Oh, and just to add a little more cloud to your silver lining, Kobe scored two technicials in the fourth quarter to earn himself an ejection. Not a problem on the surface but #24 leads the league in technicials with 15. One more technical in the regular season earns him a one game suspension.

Is there any chance in hell that that won't happen in the next month? I doubt it.

Scandal!

EDIT #2 - 10:42 PM - Alright, fine. I jumped the gun. After reading something elsewhere, I tracked down a Youtube of the performance and Seacrest actually introduced it as being Chris Cornell's version of the song. Of course, you could barely hear him say that and the judges completely ignored it. Eh... I'm not deleting my post though! It still counts, dammit!



On a bit of a lighter note from yesterday, I just finished watching American Idol. Idol is one of those shows that I thought I would hate from the minute I heard about it. As a self-admitted "music snob," the mere idea of having some kind of a singing contest to produce music's next big superstar was abhorrent to me. I didn't even watch the first season while operating under this same umbrella.

At some point, I heard Kelly Clarkson sing and thought, "Huh. Well, she's not so bad." But I really didn't watch Season 2 either until close to the very end. And in the end, I thought Rubin had a good voice but probably wouldn't be a star because R&B as a genre is in the toilet right now buried under a pile of pop and hip hop. So it goes. I watched Season 3 and thought it had some bright spots but was a little nauseous when Fantasia won.

Season 4 was awesome and I was hooked. Now we watch every season.

For those of you who haven't been watching this season, there's a contestant by the name of David Cook who is quickly becoming the "odds on favorite." He's a "rocker." I use quotes because Idol really doesn't have actual rockers... but they have a kinda generic quasi-rocker. Which isn't to say it's bad... it's just... light rock. If you've heard Chris Daughtry, you know what I'm trying to say.

David Cook is the second coming of Chris Daughtry and it almost feels like Idol is trying to "do it right" this time. Daughtry didn't make it to win his season but promptly outsold those who finished above him. I think Idol would like to finally crown a "rocker" just to get a little street cred back.

The problem with David Cook is not his vocals or his performing or any of that. The problem is the arrangements. And it's not his fault. The arrangements are usually pretty good actually.

The problem is that the arrangements are someone else's.

Which also wouldn't be a problem except for the fact that no one gets credited for them.

You see, when Daughtry was steamrolling his way through his season of Idol, he busted out a version of "I Walk The Line" one week by the immortal Johnny Cash. It had a "hard rock" style arrangement to it that went over very well with the judges and the fans.

It also wasn't Chris' arrangement. He had swiped it from Live's cover of the same tune. Like I said, not a bad thing to do... but at least give them some credit for it. At the time, when people figured out what he'd done, there was quite a bit of controversy around it and the Idol people eventually ended up giving Live credit on air. Good of them but it would be nice for the voters to know they're not voting for an original arrangement before they vote.

But I digress.

This year, David Cook has awed the judges and fans with his arrangements. First, a nifty little version of Lionel Richie's "Hello." There seems to be another one too but it's escaping me at the moment. And tonight? A rocky version of Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean."

The problem? The arrangement of "Hello" was apparently used by Incubus before.

The arrangement of "Billie Jean" I instantly identified as Chris Cornell's horrific cover of it.

So, I give the kid credit for outdoing Chris Cornell tonight... but I can't give him credit for an original arrangement.

The hard part is listening to the judges fawn all over his "originality" and "bravery" while he sits there and smiles and soaks up their praise. If you respect the artist enough to want to use their arrangement, I would think you would respect them enough to want to give them credit on-air for it.

Maybe I'm being too hard on the boy. Maybe the Idol producers told him to shut his mouth and do it.

But a few years ago, it was a scandal not to it. What happened?

Am I just being silly to expect scruples from a reality show?


EDIT: Oh! And I forgot my other point. They were supposed to be singing songs from the year they were born. In David Cook's case, that was 1982. "Billie Jean" was on the Thriller album that is celebrating it's 25th anniversary this year - which means it was released in 1983. January 3, 1983 to be precise.

So, not only did they rip off the arrangement... they fudged the dates! Incredible.

Context Is Key

I know, I know... I keep saying we're not doing the politics thing. But there are things that bother me that sometimes I just can't help but share with the rest of the class.

Context is key.

CNN Contributor Roland Martin on "Chickens coming home to roost":

"As this whole sordid episode regarding the sermons of the Rev. Jeremiah Wright has played out over the last week, I wanted to understand what he ACTUALLY said in this speech. I’ve been saying all week on CNN that context is important, and I just wanted to know what the heck is going on.

I have now actually listened to the sermon Rev. Wright gave after September 11 titled, “The Day of Jerusalem’s Fall.” It was delivered on Sept. 16, 2001.


One of the most controversial statements in this sermon was when he mentioned “chickens coming home to roost.” He was actually quoting Edward Peck, former U.S. Ambassador to Iraq and deputy director of President Reagan’s terrorism task force, who was speaking on FOX News. That’s what he told the congregation.

He was quoting Peck as saying that America’s foreign policy has put the nation in peril:

“I heard Ambassador Peck on an interview yesterday did anybody else see or hear him? He was on FOX News, this is a white man, and he was upsetting the FOX News commentators to no end, he pointed out, a white man, an ambassador, he pointed out that what Malcolm X said when he was silenced by Elijah Mohammad was in fact true, he said Americas chickens, are coming home to roost.”

“We took this country by terror away from the Sioux, the Apache, Arikara, the Comanche, the Arapaho, the Navajo. Terrorism.

“We took Africans away from their country to build our way of ease and kept them enslaved and living in fear. Terrorism.

“We bombed Grenada and killed innocent civilians, babies, non-military personnel.

“We bombed the black civilian community of Panama with stealth bombers and killed unarmed teenage and toddlers, pregnant mothers and hard working fathers.

“We bombed Qaddafi’s home, and killed his child. Blessed are they who bash your children’s head against the rock.

“We bombed Iraq. We killed unarmed civilians trying to make a living. We bombed a plant in Sudan to pay back for the attack on our embassy, killed hundreds of hard working people, mothers and fathers who left home to go that day not knowing that they’d never get back home.

“We bombed Hiroshima. We bombed Nagasaki, and we nuked far more than the thousands in New York and the Pentagon and we never batted an eye.

“Kids playing in the playground. Mothers picking up children after school. Civilians, not soldiers, people just trying to make it day by day.

“We have supported state terrorism against the Palestinians and black South Africans, and now we are indignant because the stuff that we have done overseas is now brought right back into our own front yards. America’s chickens are coming home to roost.

“Violence begets violence. Hatred begets hatred. And terrorism begets terrorism. A white ambassador said that y’all, not a black militant. Not a reverend who preaches about racism. An ambassador whose eyes are wide open and who is trying to get us to wake up and move away from this dangerous precipice upon which we are now poised. The ambassador said the people we have wounded don’t have the military capability we have. But they do have individuals who are willing to die and take thousands with them. And we need to come to grips with that.”

He went on to describe seeing the photos of the aftermath of 9/11 because he was in Newark, N.J., when the planes struck. After turning on the TV and seeing the second plane slam into one of the twin towers, he spoke passionately about what if you never got a chance to say hello to your family again.

“What is the state of your family?” he asked.

And then he told his congregation that he loved them and asked the church to tell each other they loved themselves.

His sermon thesis:

1. This is a time for self-examination of ourselves and our families.

2. This is a time for social transformation (then he went on to say they won’t put me on PBS or national cable for what I’m about to say. Talk about prophetic!)

“We have got to change the way we have been doing things as a society,” he said.

Wright then said we can’t stop messing over people and thinking they can’t touch us. He said we may need to declare war on racism, injustice, and greed, instead of war on other countries.

“Maybe we need to declare war on AIDS. In five minutes the Congress found $40 billion to rebuild New York and the families that died in sudden death, do you think we can find the money to make medicine available for people who are dying a slow death? Maybe we need to declare war on the nation’s healthcare system that leaves the nation’s poor with no health coverage? Maybe we need to declare war on the mishandled educational system and provide quality education for everybody, every citizen, based on their ability to learn, not their ability to pay. This is a time for social transformation.”

3. This is time to tell God thank you for all that he has provided and that he gave him and others another chance to do His will.

By the way, nowhere in this sermon did he said “God damn America.” I’m not sure which sermon that came from.

This doesn’t explain anything away, nor does it absolve Wright of using the N-word, but what it does do is add an accurate perspective to this conversation.

The point that I have always made as a journalist is that our job is to seek the truth, and not the partial truth.

I am also listening to the other sermons delivered by Rev. Wright that have been the subject of controversy.

And let me be clear: Where I believe he was wrong and not justified in what he said based upon the facts, I will say so. But where the facts support his argument, that will also be said.

So stay tuned."




Roland Martin on "God Damn America":

"I just finished listening to the nearly 40-minute sermon Rev. Jeremiah Wright gave on April 13, 2003, titled, “Confusing God and Government.”
ALT TEXT

For those of us watching and listening to the media in the last week, it is better known as the “God Damn America” sermon.

Wright’s scriptural focus was Luke 19:37-44 (reading from the New Revised Standard Version).

In this sermon, Wright spoke about the military rule during biblical days, led by Pontius Pilate. It was clear, through his language, such as “occupying military brigade” that he was making an analogy to the war in Iraq.

“War does not make for peace,” he said. “Fighting for peace is like raping for virginity.”

“War does not make for peace. War only makes for escalating violence and a mindset to pay the enemy back by any means necessary,” he said.

He then gets to the thesis of his sermon, saying, “y’all looking to the government for only what God can give. A lot of people confuse God with their government.”

Wright criticizes the Bush administration and its supporters for using Godly language to justify the war in Iraq. He equates using God in America as condoning the war in Iraq to the same perspective of Islamic fundamentalists.

“We can see clearly the confusion in the mind of a few Muslims, and please notice I did not say all Muslims, I said a few Muslims, who see Allah as condoning killing and killing any and all who don’t believe what they don’t believe. They call it jihad. We can see clearly the confusion in their minds, but we cannot see clearly what it is that we do. We call it crusade when we turn right around and say that our God condones the killing of innocent civilians as a necessary means to an end. WE say that God understand collateral damage. We say that God knows how to forgive friendly fire.”

“We say that God will bless the shock and awe as we take over unilaterally another country, calling it a coalition because we’ve got three guys from Australia, going against the United Nations, going against the majority of Christians, Muslims and Jews throughout the world, making a pre-emptive strike in the name of God. We cannot see how what we are doing is the same thing that Al-Qaeda is doing under a different color flag – calling on the name of a different God to sanction and approve our murder and our mayhem.”

He continues on his thesis of equating government with our God, saying that God sent the early settlers to America to take the country from Native Americans; ordained slavery; and that “we believe that God approves of 6 percent of the people on the face of this earth controlling all of the wealth on the face of this earth while the other 94 percent live in poverty and squalor while we give millions of tax breaks to the white rich.”

He also criticizes the “lily white” G-7 nations for controlling the world’s capital.

Then Wright speaks to:

1. Governments lie.

“This government lied about their belief that all men were created equal. The truth is they believed that all white men were created equal. The truth is they did not even believe that white women were created equal, in creation nor civilization. The government had to pass an amendment to the Constitution to get white women the vote. Then the government had to pass an equal rights amendment to get equal protection under the law for women. The government still thinks a woman has no rights over her own body, and between Uncle Clarence (Thomas), who sexually harassed Anita Hill, and a closeted Klan court, that is a throwback to the 19th century, handpicked by Daddy Bush, Ronald Reagan, Gerald Ford, between Clarence and that stacked court, they are about to un-do Roe vs. Wade, just like they are about to un-do affirmative action. The government lied in its founding documents and the government is still lying today. Governments lie.”

“The government lied about Pearl Harbor. They knew the Japanese were going to attack. Governments lie. The government lied about the Gulf of Tonkin. They wanted that resolution to get us in the Vietnam War. Governments lie. The government lied about Nelson Mandela and our CIA helped put him in prison and keep him there for 27 years. The South African government lied on Nelson Mandela. Governments lie.”

“The government lied about the Tuskegee experiment. They purposely infected African American men with syphilis. Governments lie. The government lied about bombing Cambodia and Richard Nixon stood in front of the camera, ‘Let me make myself perfectly clear…’ Governments lie. The government lied about the drugs for arms Contra scheme orchestrated by Oliver North, and then the government pardoned all the perpetrators so they could get better jobs in the government. Governments lie.”

“The government lied about inventing the HIV virus as a means of genocide against people of color. Governments lie. The government lied about a connection between Al Qaeda and Saddam Hussein and a connection between 9.11.01 and Operation Iraqi Freedom. Governments lie.”

“The government lied about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq being a threat to the United States peace. And guess what else? If they don’t find them some weapons of mass destruction, they gonna do just like the LAPD, and plant the some weapons of mass destruction. Governments lie.”

2. Governments change. He said long before the United States colonized the world, so did Egypt.

“All colonizers are not white. Turn to your neighbors and say that oppressors come in all colors.”

He then went back to the Bible and spoke about the changing of kings in Babylonia.

“Prior to Abraham Lincoln, the government in this country said it was legal to hold African in slavery in perpetuity…when Lincoln got in office, the government changed. Prior to the passing of the 13th, 14th and 15th amendments to the Constitution, government defined African as slaves, as property. Property, people with no rights to be respected by any whites anywhere. The Supreme Court of the government, same court, granddaddy of the court that stole the 2000 election. Supreme court said in it’s Dred Scott decision in the 1850s, no African anywhere in this country has any rights that any white person has to respect at any place, any time. That was the government’s official position backed up by the Supreme Court – that’s the judiciary; backed up by the executive branch – that’s the president; backed up by the legislative branch and enforced by the military of the government. But I stop by to tell you tonight that government’s change.”

“Prior to Harry Truman’s government, the military was segregated. But governments change.”

“Prior to the Civil Rights and equal accommodation laws of the government in this country, there was backed segregation by the country, legal discrimination by the government, prohibited blacks from voting by the government, you had to eat and sit in separate places by the government, you had sit in different places from white folks because the government said so, and you had to buried in a separate cemetery. It was apartheid, American style, from the cradle to the grave, all because the government backed it up.”

“But guess what? Governments change. Under Bill Clinton, we got a messed up welfare to work bill, but under Clinton blacks had an intelligent friend in the Oval Office. Oh, but governments change.”

“The election was stolen. We went from an intelligent friend to a dumb Dixiecrat. A rich Republican who has never held a job in his life; is against affirmative action (and) against education – I guess he is; against healthcare, against benefits for his own military, and gives tax breaks to the wealthiest contributors to his campaign. Governments change. Sometimes for the good, and sometimes for the bad.”

“Where governments change, God does not change. God is the same yesterday, today and forever more. That’s what his name I Am means. He does not change.”

“God was against slavery on yesterday, and God, who does not change, is still against slavery today. God was a God of love yesterday, and God who does not change, is still a God of love today. God was a God of justice on yesterday, and God who does not change, is still a God of justice today.”

“God does not change.”

3. He then speaks of the government in his Bible text and said the Romans failed. Then he said the British government failed even after it colonized the world. He said the Russian government failed. The Japanese government failed. The German government failed.

“And the United States of America government, when it came to treating her citizens of Indian descent, she failed. She put them on reservations.”

“When it came to putting her citizens of Japanese descent fairly, she failed. She put them in interment prison camps.”

“When it came to putting the citizens of African descent fairly, America failed. She put them in chains. The government put them on slave quarters. Put them on auction blocks. Put them in cotton fields. Put them in inferior schools. Put them in substandard housing. Put them scientific experiments. Put them in the lower paying jobs. Put them outside the equal protection of the law. Kept them out of their racist bastions of higher education, and locked them into positions of hopelessness and helplessness.”

“The government gives them the drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes a three strike law and then wants us to sing God Bless America. Naw, naw, naw. Not God Bless America. God Damn America! That’s in the Bible. For killing innocent people. God Damn America for treating us citizens as less than human. God Damn America as long as she tries to act like she is God and she is Supreme.”

“The United States government has failed the vast majority of her citizens of African descent. Think about this. Think about this. For every one Oprah, a billionaire, you’ve got 5 million blacks that are out of work. For every one Colin Powell, a millionaire, you’ve got 10 million blacks who cannot read. For every one Condi-Skeezer Rice, you’ve got 1 million in prison. For every one Tiger Woods, who needs to get beat at the Masters, with his Cablanasian hips, playing on a course that discriminates against women, God has this way of brining you up short when you get to big for your Cablanasian britches. For every one Tiger Woods, we’ve got 10,000 black kids who will never see a golf course. The United States government has failed the vast majority of her citizens of African descent.”

“Tell your neighbor he’s (going to) help us one last time. Turn back and say forgive him for the God Damn, that’s in the Bible though. Blessings and curses is in the Bible. It’s in the Bible.

“Where government fail, God never fails. When God says it, it’s done. God never fails. When God wills it, you better get out the way, cause God never fails. When God fixes it, oh believe me it’s fixed. God never fails. Somebody right now, you think you can’t make it, but I want you to know that you are more than a conqueror through Christ. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.”

He then went on to talk about the salvation of Christians through the death of Jesus Christ. The sermon ended with a song proclaiming, “God never fails.”"


And that's that.

Context is key, people. Always remember.


EDIT: And if you managed to wade through all that, here's your reward!

One Week

As I once again race to beat "the deadline" so I can continue the streak, I'm looking for a nice, simple topic to write about so I don't have to think too much.

With that in mind, we find ourselves approximately seven days from two of my favorite days of the year.

Next Sunday will be Wrestlemania - always a holiday for me. The price has gone up yet again and the show doesn't have a lot of the same flair [no pun intended] that it has in past years but there is still plenty about it that I'm looking forward to. I'll probably do a little more thorough rundown later in the week so I don't want to burn all that up right now but I will say that I almost feel bad for Shawn Michaels heading into next Sunday. He's been put into one of the toughest positions imaginable where he needs to figure out a way to work his Wrestlemania magic and give Ric Flair a final match that no one will ever forget. It won't be easy... Flair hasn't had a truly memorable match in quite some time. But it will be a huge moment one way or the other.

Next Monday will be the Dodgers Opening Day. And with seven days to go til the 2008 season opens at home, the Dodgers _still_ have a lot of questions to be answers for their team. As short-term problems, they need to figure out if Jeff Kent will be ready for Opening Day and if not, who will take his spot [my money is on Abreu although Marcus Giles got cut today and immediately becomes a dark horse candidate for me.] Nomar appears to be missing Opening Day and LaRoche is sidelined for a month or so more after that. My guess is that Hu and Abreu will double up at the hot corner until Nomar is ready to go. We still need a fifth starter which has settled into a battle between Park and Loaiza. My gut still stays Loaiza gets the gig because of his contract but Park has pitched well enough to earn a shot... if not in Dodger Blue, somewhere else in the big leagues. All signs are that Kuo and Young will both make the squad because they're out of minor league options - meaning we either keep them with the big club or risk losing them to another team via waivers. That'll make for quite the roster crunch. Supposedly, we should expect some big cuts tomorrow so it'll be interesting to see who is left standing.

I'm done! Be back tomorrow with something a little more... well... who knows really.

Hehehehe... he said "anal fissures"

One of the most overlooked and underappreciated forms of humor is the list of injuries that players have somehow managed to acquire over the years to force them out of action. While you never want to laugh at an injury, well... sometimes you just have to.

Who can forget Jeff Kent's broken wrist from "falling out of his truck while washing it?" Of course, it was later revealed that he broke it while doing wheelies on his motorcycle... a violation of his contract that pretty much was the beginning of the end of his stint with the San Francisco Giants. Washing your truck or doing wheelies? Either one is a pretty dumb way to get injured.

But baseball players aren't the only ones to get injured in dumb ways. Laker fans will not forgive or forget Vladimir Radmanovic for his injury over the 2006-07 All Star Break. It was shortly after the break that he announced he had suffered a separated shoulder when he slipped on a icy sidewalk in Utah. Very few, if any, bought the excuse and it was just days later that he told the truth - it was a snowboarding injury which was, of course, again a violation of his contract. The Lakers "went easy" on Vlad Rad and opted not to terminate his contract for the breach - instead fining him $500,000 for his boneheaded move.

And one more of those, "million to one shot, doc" injuries... Houston Astros' outfielder Hunter Pence had my favorite injury of the winter when he accidentally jumped through a glass door, shattering it and slicing himself to shit in the process. How could such a thing happen, you ask? He and "a friend" were hot-tubbing on his deck when he suddenly decided he needed to use the bathroom. He jumped out of the hot tub and jumped towards the door - only to discover his "friend" had shut it. The door shattered and hilarity ensued.

But not all of the best injury stories come from the way they happen. Sometimes you just have to laugh at the injury itself. And no, I'm not talking about the occasional chuckle when someone gets a strained groin. I'm not even talking about the Dodgers' Tony Abreu and his INJURED ASS this spring. Maybe I'm talking about Clemens' ass injury discussed during his Congressional testimony?

Well, no... but that was a good one too.

My new favorite injury popped up [so to speak] this evening when I was watching some old AWA wrestling on ESPN Classic that I had DVRd last week. Something on the news crawl caught my eye in a "Did that just say..."

Yes, it did.

Kaz Matsui was going on the disabled list for... anal fissures.

Now, if you're like most of America, you're only experience with that term came from The Office a couple seasons back when Dwight was picking a new health plan and Kevin wanted to make sure that "anal fissures" would be covered because "someone had them."

And if you never bothered at that point to discover what they were... well, I'm here to educate one and all.

"An anal fissure is an unnatural crack or tear in the anus skin. As a fissure, these tiny tears may show as bright red rectal bleeding and cause severe periodic pain after defecation. [...] Most anal fissures are caused by stretching of the anal mucosa beyond its capability. Various causes of this fissure include:

* Straining to defecate, especially if the stool is hard and dry
* Severe and chronic constipation
* Severe and chronic diarrhea
* Crohn's disease and Ulcerative colitis
* Tight sphincter muscles
* Anal intercourse"

Sounds... pleasant!

So, poor Kaz will be sliding headfirst for a while apparently as he recovers from his... well, utter and total humiliation at having this disclosed to the entire sporting world, I'd imagine. Best of luck to you, buddy. And if they bench you... don't forget the donut.

Oh, by the way, while doing "intensive research" for this posting, I may have discovered my new favorite sports injury...

Apparently the Spring of '08 is going to be big for bizarre injuries because as odd as Matsui's is... check out poor Cubs outfielder Felix Pie.

"Pie is suffering from what's called testicular torsion, or, in layman's terms, a twisted testicle. It happened early in camp, but Pie had the problem reduced manually, sources said, and was able to continue playing. He was scheduled to have the corrective surgery on the Cubs off-day next Monday, but when Pie reported to camp with soreness Monday, the Cubs decided to get the procedure done today."

ANAL FISSURES... TWISTED TESTICLES... Sweet Lord have mercy on us all.

It's almost enough to make you wish Jeff Kent would wash his truck again.

Almost.

Top Five Friday

With two and a half hours until "deadline," i've struggled to find a good Top Five for this Friday. Mrs. Blue has given me a bunch of possible topics that I've cruelly shot down one by one much to her dismay.

Finally, she picked one that I had kind of thought of earlier in the day. So, with options running out, I present...

The Top Five Places To Buy Music [All-Time Edition]

5. Best Buy
Oh come on. Sometimes you just need to find something fast and somewhat cheap. However, Best Buy was much cooler when they first opened when they were actually trying to run out all the music store chains. The prices were cheap, the racks were well-stocked and organized. Now, they just don't care because they figure that you can't go anywhere else. So, basically, they suck now but they had potential once upon a time.

4. Virgin Megastore
And I'm talking a very specific Virgin Megastore - the one that formerly existed in the Triangle Square shopping center in Costa Mesa. I have very fond and vivid memories of going to that store with my friends for a few years [about 1994-96.] It really was unlike any store we'd ever seen. So massive, so many choices... and all those awesome listening stations where you could hear all the stuff that you'd never heard of before. It was expensive as shit though. I remember going there before my first concert [Stone Temple Pilots at formerly Irvine Meadows] and buying the Beastie Boys disc that had "Sabotage" on it. I don't even own that CD anymore I don't believe but at the time, it was the shit. That store is gone now like most music stores seem to be but the memories live on.

3. Tower Records

Whether it was the Tower Records in Costa Mesa or the historic one on Sunset, most people miss Tower Records. Me? I miss the one that was in West Covina. You see, that particular Tower was off the freeway on the way from my aunts' house going back home. So, if I was really annoying, I could sometimes get my mom to stop there on the way home so I could race inside and spend some money. I was way too young to appreciate the awesome selection and basically ended up dropping money on some cassette singles at $3 each [see, even as a kid I knew that the record industry was putting out shit for full albums.] In my later years, I didn't shop there so much because the prices were so high but I never thought the whole chain would fold up like they did last year. I went in to the local Tower to pick up some "going out of business" stuff but it was so sad being in there. I might have even shed a tear if it was at _my_ Tower.

2. The Mad Platter

I think that everyone who goes "away" to college has their local music store that brings back so many fond memories. The Mad Platter in Riverside was mine. Tucked away on a side street in the "not-so-nice" side of town, the Mad Platter sold tons of local bands, tons of ska and punk, and tons of used CDs that I could thumb through for hours trying to find what to spend my hard-earned Work Study money on. They would even open the CDs for you to listen to on the in-store CD players if you asked. For a youngster, the most eye-opening thing to discover were bootlegs. I'd always _heard_ of bootlegs but actually discovering that you could get an entire concert of your favorite band for $20-30 bucks was amazing. I still treasure the Pearl Jam Rarities bootleg that I bought there that had their entire MTV Unplugged set plus "Sonic Reducer" that I used to shove in the face of people who thought they were hardcore PJ fans. Ahhhh, the innocent days of being a music snob. The Mad Platter was also the source to discover all the shows coming to town... you know, before the Internet. This store is gone too. Sounds like a broken record, huh?

1. Amoeba Music

In the heart of Hollywood, I had heard of this store for ages but never actually made it up there until May of '06. Needless to say, I instantly fell in love with it. Two stories of greatness, tons and tons and tons of CDs everywhere to be found. New CDs, used CDs, local CDs, big time CDs. There's racks of vinyl [something I'm efforting to get into very soon.] There are little side rooms that cover Jazz and Soundtracks. There are sections for country, for international, for... just about anything you can imagine. They even have DVDs upstairs if that's what you're looking for. The walls are absolutely papered with posters for bands and movies and... yeah. I can spend hours in the store digging through the entire used music section, wander upstairs with a handbasket overflowing with CDs pulled off the racks, and then listening to them all on the listening stations upstairs that scan the barcode to pull them up in the system. Yeah, sometimes that system doesn't work but dammit, it's the thought that counts. Honestly, it's a good thing I live an hour away from Amoeba because if I was any closer, they might get almost every dime I have. Oh, and they also feature in-store concerts from time to time... something I've failed to see so far but intend to remedy soon. It's still open... for now. Show 'em some love and keep it that way, okay?

And that's that.

On a side note, I had an internal debate on whether or not to include iTunes Music Store in this list seeing that's where I buy most of music nowadays. I decided not to because it's an uneven playing field for convenience but if you're looking for music in a hurry and at [usually] the most reasonable price you can find, you can't beat the ITMS. For those of you who prefer an actual disc or piece of vinyl in your hands, head on down to Hollywood.

Best Laid Plans...

With my head slowly clearing, I was prepared to attempt a longish blog post tonight. Something about the frailty of man as we endeavor to achieve lasting greatness in a cynical, apathetic world.

But then I saw this...



This is the first publicity photo of Ray Park in costume.

No other words needed.

EDIT: A BONUS PHOTO!

It's The Brain Pain, Coach

Sorry for the late... and short... post but I've been laid up for most of the past two days with a really bad head cold. I think it's starting to finally get better but I'm having a hard time focusing on the computer to write anything.

So, this is all you get...

Farewell to Dodgertown

With the Dodgers making their final appearance in a Grapefruit League game today on the road, it only seems fitting to make a farewell to Dodgertown today.

After making Dodgertown in Vero Beach, Florida, their spring training home for the past 60 years, the Dodgers have played their final game in Holman Stadium. In fitting fashion, thanks to the China trip, Tommy Lasorda was the manager for the final game. Unfortunately, the Dodgers weren't able to pull out a victory [despite uber-rare 9 inning stints for both Andre Ethier and Rafael Furcal - who both requested to stay in the game to try and get Tommy and the Dodgers the win] but it does little to take away the warm and fuzzies that many hold to their heart over that stadium and complex.

Tommy said it best in a pre-game address to the sold-out crowd. "You're going to make me cry, huh? I can't find the words to express my feeling for all of you people. We are going to leave, but we will have the memories forever. God bless you."

For longtime Dodgers fans, everyone has their own special memory of Dodgertown to recall. Whether it's that fateful day each spring when after months of waiting, you heard the sound of Vin Scully's voice wishing you a terrific day "wherever you may be" from Holman Stadium. Whether it's the crazy stories that have trickled out of those old army barracks through the years [the Strongman practical joke, the Green Phantom, among others.] Maybe it's 1988 when the Dodgers' new Free Agent acquisition got pissed off and stormed off the practice field when Jesse Orosco played a prank on him.
Or for others, it's the stories of Dodgers legends Sandy Koufax stopping in to camp to give a few words of advice to young pitchers or Maury Willis teaching bunting at "Maury's Pit."

Whatever it is, there is almost always something about Dodgertown that will bring a smile to a fan's face. I've never seen another spring training complex like it and for a now-31 year old, my fondest memories of Dodgertown come from the 5 days I spent there in the spring of 1989.

Memories like chasing down Kirk Gibson just before he stepped into a batting cage, getting his autograph, and [I've always told the story] getting the flu from him as he wiped his nose before handing back my pen.

Memories like chasing down an unknown Dodger legend with a baseball to get signed... only to discover it was Al Downing. Hey, at least he's famous for something, right?

Memories like Tommy Lasorda throwing batting practice and giving running commentary while doing so. "Where do you wanna live? I wanna live at 6-4-3 DP Lane!"

Memories like sitting in Vero Beach's only movie theatre watching Rain Man and hearing Vin Scully's trademark voice laughing at the Fernando joke and getting chills up and down my spine.

Memories that'll last a lifetime.


Little Blue in Dodgertown