The G.I. Joe Producer Speaks... INVISIBLE!

A new interview with G.I. Joe movie producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura hit the Interweb today. Let's see if he can soothe some of the butt hurt Joe fans out there... yours truly included.

Here are the highlights:

** When asked about the difference between producing Transformers and G.I. Joe -
"They’re completely different. I mean, to me I don’t look at them as toy properties... I look at them as mythologies. So, G.I. Joe is a really, really in depth mythology... The characters involved and intertwined nature and G.I. Joe it’s very funny how everybody’s very intertwined. It’s very different than in a lot of the comic book mythologies I’ve run into. The lines between good and evil are drawn differently. I think the Storm Shadow and Snake-Eyes, it’s a great thing and is Storm Shadow evil? Well, some people think so. I don’t. Is Snake-eyes also righteous in this? I’m not so sure, he’s blaming his buddy for something he may or may not have done, you know, so it’s that interesting duality where the characters live in a world that’s good guys and bad guys but it’s also a gray area."

REACTION: Not a bad answer. He's done some homework at least. And I _really_ hope this means that the Snakes/Stormy/Hard Master storyline will be explored to some extent as the chief conflict between the two.

** When asked the very obvious question on a lot of fans' minds about having too many characters to introduce and flesh out -
"Well, it’s a hard question to answer. We think we’re going to deliver on all the characters. We think the script actually delivers really well and sets up each character. You’re going to understand the back-stories of virtually every major character and then you’re going to understand the roles of the ones you don’t. You may not know everything you know if you’ve read the comic book but you’re going to recognize them if you’ve read the comic book and you’re certainly going to want to know more about them by the end of it which is part of the tease. And there’s some character info that will be new to the comic fans."

REACTION: I don't buy it. There's just no friggin' way to cover that many characters unless they're breaking the two hour mark for the movie by a LOT of screen time. I'm glad they recognize this could be a problem but I just don't think there's a legitimate way to resolve it without a lot of these appearances being just cameos... which I'm fine with to some degree.

** On the level of violence and the rating and target demo and such -
"You know for us, we think the people who grew up with the comic book and the animated show are going to be our core audience. We think that the older audience that identifies with the pre-83 Joe is going to have some education to go through but are going to relate to the title because the values of it are the same. The storytelling is different but if you think about the values, they’re very similar, you know? Integrity, honesty, bravery, courage, you know things like that that I think you just associate with both versions of G.I. Joe. It’s an all audience movie. I mean, there are 2 really strong romances. There are a lot of things in there that’s going to appeal to people. It’s going to be PG-13. Look I’ve been involved with a lot of R-rated movies and a lot of PG-13. You just sort of begin to understand the difference and Stephen Sommers has no intention of making an R-rated movie and it would be silly to do so because you should appeal down to kids."

REACTION: This is all well and good. No one expect G.I. Joe to be like the opening scene in Saving Private Ryan, I don't think. It's a war story but largely, it's a comic book war story. I have no issue with this being PG-13. I am curious about the two romances though. It had better be Snakes/Scarlett and Baroness/Destro but I have an itchy suspicion we're going to get hosed on one of those for some romance that didn't exist in the comics or TV show.

** To address the photos of everyone in black leather -
"I would say each character has more than one outfit, by in large, other than of course Snake Eyes, but everybody else has multiple looks. I think our costume designer’s phenomenal and she’s just done a great job in delivering a very varied look. You know, Snake Eyes is a character in black so he would be in black and you know we looked through all the comic books and The Baroness and unless we’re missing something she’s always in black. Every character in the movie is not in black all the way through including - other than Snake Eyes - who has to be in black all the way through. So, you know, there’s multiple looks that for each of those characters that you’ll see them in different color schemes and in different attitudes I’d say."

REACTION: Good answer! If this is true, this eases my mind a bit. Although I really wish the interviewer would have asked about the god-awful Storm Shadow costume. I'm still hoping that's the costume he wears when he goes to a high school dance and slashes some U.S. government official's daughter's throat with a sword. Tell me that scene wouldn't rock your boat!

** When asked to compare the tone of the movie to the comics or TV show -
"That’s an interesting question. I guess it’s definitely a comic book movie and it’s definitely has a great sense of humor, so there’s a lot of humor and a lot of drama and a lot of action. I would say there’s an equal measure of all 3 of those things in the movie."

REACTION: That raises a bit of a red flag to me. The animated show had a ton of humor, for sure, but that's one of the reasons most people didn't like it as well as the comics. If they try to go too funny with this, it'll fall flat and hard.

** THE PIT!
"We built a couple of the levels of The Pit as Stephen has imagined it and Ed Verreaux, our designer, is really gigantic so you couldn’t really build all of it, but so some of it. But we built a full floor of it which is gigantic. I think everybody’s going to be really happy that we took The Pit very seriously and built it to fulfill anybody’s sense of fantasy of what it could be."

REACTION: Surprisingly, I really couldn't give a damn about what The Pit looks like. It's not like X-Men's Danger Room where it's an iconic part of the mythology and has to be done perfectly or people will be up in arms. I mean, I'm sure there are some people that will shit themselves if The Pit doesn't match the diagram that was in one of the old Marvel annuals but I'm not one of them.

** More on Snakes vs Stormy

"We’re really exploring the mythology and we hope that the mythology, if we’re lucky enough to get to a 2^nd film, we want to continue to explore the mythology of the two characters. It’s very rich and this movie explores a lot about how they met at first and how they fell apart. And yes we have shot a fight between the 2 of them and we hope that everybody’s going to agree with us that it’s going to be one of those great battles."

REACTION: Allow me a moment to give a warning that you, Mr. Bonaventura, will never read. If you fuck up this one part of the story, Snakes and Stormy, G.I. Joe fans will never forgive you. It's the one thing you can not afford to blow. You can probably get by with invisible Scarlett... you can probably get by with Destro wearing the mask because of injury... you can probably even get by with metrosexual Hawk... but if you FUBAR Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow's part of the story, you will never recover from it.

And that's that. I probably should've saved this post for tomorrow so I wouldn't have to think of a new topic but... eh, this is what I do for you! This is what I do!

And now you know...

...and knowing is half the battle.

HULKAMANIA!

With all the talk about Iron Man, the new Hulk movie is getting overlooked. There's a lot of... discussion... in the air about this one as Ed Norton is being Ed Norton when it comes to the creative side of the coin.

But... well, this doesn't look too shabby...

Check out Trailer #2 - it's the one that hit the Interweb today.

There Will Be Blood

Whew, the unemployment line is filled with NBA coaches today.

Early breaking word this morning has both Mike D'Antoni and Avery Johnson getting shown the door by their respective franchises.

I can't say that either is a huge surprise but let's take a closer look.

Avery Johnson's days have been numbered for a while. It's been no secret that Mark Cuban has blamed him for the Mavs failures for some time and when Cuban went out and got Jason Kidd for the team and they _still_ couldn't win? You knew someone had to pay the piper for it. It's a tough situation though as the Mavs probably weren't going to beat the Hornets anyways. It's not Kidd's fault that he's old, past his prime, and unable to win in the clutch - okay, well, maybe it is his fault. But it's definitely not Avery Johnson's fault. AJ seemed like a perfectly fine coach to me who was put in an unwinnable scenario. He's sure to catch on somewhere else without much trouble, I'd imagine.

Mike D'Antoni is a bit of a sadder situation. As much as I dislike the guy's on-court histrionics, you can not deny that he instilled a system in Phoenix that for several years made them one of the most successful [and most popular] teams in the league. Sure, he didn't win a championship but not many coaches do. Few people assumed this would be a win-or-you're-out season for D'Antoni but the final nail in his coffin came with the Shaquille O'Neal trade. As much as I don't understand the trade, I understand the trade. On the surface, you question why they would do a deal that would basically cripple the run-and-gun offense that made them successful. They are infamous for getting their shot up within 7 seconds on the shot clock but it takes Shaq 7 seconds to reach the free throw line... on the defensive end of the floor! Of course they weren't going to be able to run-and-gun anymore... but the "realists" pointed out at the time that run-and-gun hadn't won them a title so maybe it was time for a change. You just can't expect a team to change that much in mid-season though. They were designed to run-and-gun and you tied an anchor to their ankle... and crippled the team's future in the process.

So, D'Antoni will be the fall guy because you can't spend that much money on a center, have that big trade publicized so much, and then only manage a weak one victory in the postseason. It's not fair at all to him since it's the Big Cactus that really hurt them but... well, so it goes.

I fully expect George Karl will be the next head to roll.

And don't even ask me to comment on Larry Brown deciding to coach the Bobcats. Unbelievable.

In closing, I would like to take credit for all of these moves [except Brown] on behalf of Mitch Kupchak. He set these dominoes a-tumblin' with the Pau Gasol deal which forced the Western Conference rivals to go out and try to make a big move to compete.

Well, so far, those moves to compete have earned their teams a first round postseason exit and a fired coach.

So it goes.

News And Reaction: Entertainment Edition

NEWS: Guillermo Del Toro inks to direct Hobbit + a surprise
REACTION: I suppose this is a good thing. I don't know that I've seen anything by GDT other than Hellboy [which I enjoyed despite never reading the comics.] Pan's Labyrinth sits unwatched on my DVD shelf still but it looked amazing from the trailers and was a movie I was very stoked about seeing when it came out... just... never... quite did it! Annnnyways, I'm disappointed that Jackson's not directing this himself but he's producing so I'm hoping he has his fingers deep enough in the pie to keep it from going off the tracks. In a bit of a surprise, it was announced that GDT wouldn't just be doing The Hobbit... nor would The Hobbit be split into two movies as was rumored... but rather, he will also be doing a movie that will serve as a "bridge" between The Hobbit and LOTR. That's dangerous ground to tread and I wish him all the luck needed to pull it off. Oh, and to cap it off, he's already saying all the right things by saying he will not recast any role from the original trilogy if the actor is willing and able to be in either the Hobbit or The Bridge.

NEWS: Iron Man early reviews are mixed
REACTION: Fuck that noise. Favreau is money, baby.

NEWS: Seven people were injured Saturday in a collision between a bus and several cars during the filming of G.I. Joe in the center of Prague, reports the AFP.
REACTION: They're blaming braking problems. I'm guessing Scarlett got behind the wheel in her invisible suit, slipped on Destro's mask, and got her mind taken over by nanobites. Happens all the time.

NEWS: Jackman looking at Batman Begins for inspiration for Wolverine
REACTION: Correction. The title of the movie is currently "X-Men Origins: Wolverine."

...

I fucking hate people. That's really the name of it? I just really fucking hate people.

Sigh.

Well, the story is that Jackman says the flick will be dark, damn dark... and that it'll be close in tone to Batman Begins. That's a good thing and an appropriate thing... if they can pull it off. After the debacle that was the third X flick, I give these fuckers no benefit of the doubt until they earn it.

The story ends with Jackman saying he feels like he could do 10 or 11 more Wolvie movies right now. Let's just hope the first one is good enough for people to want to see another one before we get all crazy-like!

Alright, that's it for today. But if you made it this far, you deserve a bonus!

By request...

It's always nice to be able to fulfill a request for a topic, right? Right!

So, how about the weekend the Dodgers had?

In case you were in baseball seclusion soaking up the insanity of the NBA Playoffs this past weekend, here's a sample of the bizarre weekend series the Rockies and Dodgers had.

*** The never-ending saga of Nomar Garciaparra and his on-again/off-again torrid love affair with the disabled list continued when he strained a calf muscle in the ninth inning, the same injury that ended his season early last year. While it's sad and/or frustrating to see him go down injured again after just getting off the DL, well... it's Nomar... so what did you expect really? But the two things that resulted because of this injury were far more interesting.

1] Rookie Blake DeWitt was sent down to AAA on Thursday so that he could get regular playing time. His "minutes" had dropped drastically since the return of Nomar from the DL [the first time] so they sent him down to get him steady work. He played on Friday for the Las Vegas 51s, the Dodgers' AAA affiliate. After the game, the 51s gathered in their lounge to watch the big club's game. When Nomar went down, the 51s manager advised DeWitt to hang around and sure enough, the call came. After a less than 24 hour stint back in AAA, the rookie was on his way back to The Show. I love this game.

2] When DeWitt was sent down to AAA, legendary Dodger announcer Vin Scully had speculated several times on the "nightmare scenario." With DeWitt back in AAA, the Dodgers really didn't have a backup 3B if Nomar happened to go down. And since this is Dodgers baseball, you could be almost certain that it would happen. And when it did, what did Joe Torre do to earn his high salary? He walked up to Catcher Russell Martin and asked him what IF position he could play. Thus, Dodger fans got the bizarre sight of Russell Martin in the dugout frantically trying to find a 3B mitt before taking the position for the first time since A ball. As a side note to this, Martin leaving his normal position brought in Dodger backup catcher Gary Bennett... who promptly just flat out missed the first pitch thrown to him, bringing the tying run across the plate and sending the game to extra innings. And to top it all off, Third Baseman Russell Martin got the sac fly in the 13th to give the Dodgers the win.

** With a game like that on Friday night, it couldn't get much weirder on Saturday, right? Well, as Vin Scully would say, "before the seats were warm" the Dodgers erupted for a 10 run bottom of the first inning including the first ever career Grand Slam for Matt Kemp.

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!

Check out what else happened in this game [and get to see the Slam as well.]



Crazy, right? The guy's okay so we can all laugh about it now. Well, maybe not... but sweet Jesus, that must have hurt.

** Okay, so a crazy Friday... a weird Saturday... Sunday must have been normal, right?

WRONG!

WE'RE GOING BACK TO EXTRA INNINGS!

But the Dodgers won on a James Loney seeing-eye single in the 10th to give them their first sweep of the year and their first three-game win streak.

It's been a long and painful April for the Dodgers but they're oh-so-close to coming out of it in second place and over .500. Keep it up, boys! It's a marathon, not a sprint.

For The Disney Meets Coen Fan In All Of Us

They'll Fight For Freedom Wherever There's Trouble... Invisible Apparently

I tried, guys... you know I tried.

This morning before I start the arduous task of painting our kitchen, I wanted to find some good news about the G.I. Joe movie to share. I feel like I've been in the harbinger of sorrow for that flick for weeks now and it really is/was a movie that I was greatly looking forward to. There had to be some info out there somewhere to make me enthused, right?

Not so much as it turns out.

A site called Firstshowing.net posted their This Is Why You Should Be Excited About the G.I. Joe Movie based off of details from the latest script review. Let's see if I agree.

*** Accelerator Suits - These allow the G.I. Joe squad to "run faster, jump super-high, smash through walls, and shrug off bullets."

Huh? Why, exactly? Did I miss that special edition of G.I. Joe issue #100 where they all became Universal Soldiers with Van Damme and Bill Goldberg? This does not excite me. The Joes were average people with extraordinary abilities. They were not bit by radioactive spiders.

*** Nano-Bombs - A bomb that Cobra Commander is developing that launches a swarm of nanites that eat all non-organic material in the surrounding area including buildings and machinery but none of the people.

I guess this could be kinda cool. It'll be a visually cool scene at least, I'd imagine.

*** Neo-Vipers - A legion of ninja-like super-soldiers that are controlled by Destro that have been enhanced by nanotechnology to not feel any pain or remorse. They were created by a "mad scientist" known as the Doctor. Check out some photos of the old Neo-Viper figures here.

Sigh. Boy, they really like the nano technology stuff, I guess. If the "Doctor" is Dr. Mindbender or Dr. Venom, I lend my tentative support to this plan. Carry on.

*** Destro's Mask - Also created by the same Doctor is a mask made of nanites that Destro wears because his face is disfigured after a fight. This gives Cobra the ability to control his mind.

Boy, they _really_ like the nano technology stuff. I'm SO not enthused by this one. What was wrong with Destro being an international arms dealer who wears the mask out of family tradition because he has a warped sense of honor? Is that really such a difficult character to wrap your brain around? And mind control? Crikey, if you're gonna do mind control - I've got two words for ya - DR. VENOM AND THE FRIGGIN' BRAIN WAVE SCANNER! That might be more than two words.

*** Scarlett's Armor - You've already seen the photo, but apparently that armor allows her to become completely invisible for her missions, or so they say…

Sigh. This is a good thing? Really? I hope on August 9th, 2009, I can eat my words but right now Larry Hama looks like the biggest sell-out ever, brought in to feed the fans lines of crap about how the true fans will enjoy this movie while taking his check to the bank every week and knowing damn well the fans are going to shit a solid gold brick when they see Scarlett turn invisible to fight NANO NINJAS!

Top 5 Friday: Laker Love

In keeping with this week's theme of Laker Love and in anticipation of Game 3 tomorrow in Denver, I thought I'd toss in a Top 5 Friday with a bit of a twist. A couple days ago, another blog posted their "Top 10 Reasons I Hate Laker Fans." So, in response to that BITCH ASS SUCKA Nuggets Fan, I will give his post a little free pub and respond to each accusation:

The Top 10 Reasons Some BITCH ASS SUCKA Nuggets Fan Hates Laker Fans And Why He's Wrong [On Most Of Them!]

DISCLAIMER: I will make distinctions between "types" of Laker fans throughout this post and you should to!

10. Half The Courtside Seats Are Empty In The First And Third Quarters Of Every Game
So, right off the bat, I draw the distinction. The lower bowl of Staples Center can not be considered your average Laker fan. These are mostly people who pay astronomical ticket prices to see [sometimes] and be seen. You should not consider their actions to be standard for "real" Laker fans. Take a look at the upper bowl of Staples and the rabid fans up there before you blast Laker fans as a whole for this. By the way, the Nuggets had 90.9% attendance for the year, ranking 17th in the league. The Lakers had 98.5% ranking 11th. Suck it, monkeys!

9. They're Incapable Of Acknowledging A Bad Trade When It Happens
Are you fucking serious? Go check out Lakerground.net when a trade is about to go down or right after it happens. Mitch Kupchak was nearly hanged by his testicles from the banners at Staples until this year. Again, the distinction. I'm not talking about your typical Laker "fan" who breaks out their car flag as soon as the playoffs start. I'm talking about your "real" Laker fan who follows the team from buzzer to buzzer.

8. They Act Like The Entire League Is Obligated To Ensure The Lakers Success, And Thus Every Team Should Be Trading Their Best Players To The Lakers For Pennies On The Dollar
And to "prove" his point, he brings up some completely inane example of Laker fans being upset when Minnesota wouldn't accept an offer of Odom, Turiaf, and a 1st for Garnett. I don't recall that, sucka. However, I _do_ recall Laker fans being upset when an offer of Odom, Bynum, Kwame, and change got rejected for the Celtics offer by ETERNAL Laker hater Kevin McHale. To the original "point," I bring up the fact that "real" Laker fans knew that the Lakers didn't have much to deal with and were dealing from a weak hand. And "real" Laker fans also know that most teams playa hate the Lakers and wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire to help them. Which is what makes the Gasol deal even more amazingly cool. I'm not sure how Nugs Fan got this so wrong... although I'll guess crazed psychotic madness at having to drink some weak-ass near beer might be a factor.

7. LA Radio "Personality" Vic "The Brick" Jacobs
I have no defense. Point given.

6. Seats That Should Go To Real Basketball Fans Are Instead Occupied By Wives, Girlfriends, and Escorts
Really? This is why you hate Laker fans? Shouldn't this be why you hate Laker management? Or society in general? Isn't it the case through most of sports that the true fans are stuck in the nosebleeds while the rich fat cats enjoy the sweat zone in their designer suits while trying to look cool? To counter, I suggest that the reason I hate Nuggets Fans is because the seats on the bench that should go to real basketball fans are instead occupied by gang-bangers, thugs, and crybabies. That sound fair?

5. They're The Biggest Bandwagon Fans In The Country And Only Support The Lakers When The Team Is Really, Really, Really Good."
To this, I counter with two points. Firstly, I openly admit that the Lakers do tend to draw a large number of bandwagon fans. What winning team doesn't though? The true fans stay win or lose, thick or thin, No-Kwame or Kwame. Secondly?

Nuggets Attendance For The Past Five Years
***
2007-8: 90.9%
2006-7: 90.2%
2005-6: 89.7%
2004-5: 92.5%
2003-4: 92.1%

Lakers Attendance For The Past Five Years
***
2007-8: 98.5%
2006-7: 99.6%
2005-5: 99.1%
2004-5: 98.6%
2003-4: 99.5%

More fans - no matter what the record. Hrmm.

4. 85% Of Them Aren't From Los Angeles And, Like Newcomers To Scientology, These Non-Native Lakers "Fan" Converts Are Young, Impressionable, And Gullible.
...

And that's your number four?

Can't wait for number three!

3. Now That He's Out Of Town, They Pretend Like They Never Liked Shaquille O'Neal In The First Place.
Riiiiiight. You must have missed the period of time where everyone lamented Shaq being gone even through his scorched earth campaign. There's not a soul among true Laker fans who don't appreciate what Shaq did while he was here... they just don't like the way he left town. But you can bet when he finally retires and that jersey goes up in the rafters, there won't be a dry eye in the house.

2. They Unmercifully Defend Kobe Bryant
Again, are you fucking serious? What fan doesn't defend the centerpiece of their favorite team? What are you complaining about us defending him for?

"Whether he’s throwing his teammates like Shaq or Andrew Bynum under the bus..."

Shaq did plenty of backing that bus all over Kobe before he left town. The one time Kobe replied gets him crucified by the uninformed. The Bynum thing was out of line but everyone makes mistakes. He got his heat for it during the offseason and early in the year but we can't all root for perfect angels like "Thug Life" Allen Iverson.

"...clobbering white defenders after jump shots"

I had to read this a few times to see if I saw it right. White defenders? He doesn't clobber any other defenders? Just the white ones. Damn that Kobe Bryant. He is one racist son of a bitch.

"regularly spouting profanity-laced tirades at the referees for all the six year olds within earshot to hear"

Oh... my... god. Someone is reaching now. Well, he was reaching before... but now he looks like Reed Richards.

"(allegedly) forcing himself sexually onto a female hotel worker in Colorado and subsequently paying her -- and his wife -- off"

Mr. Richards, can you touch the top of the backboard with that reach? I do like the insertion of "allegedly" in there though. It's almost as if you believe in the American legal process!

"Throwing public hissy fits to get himself traded"

Really? Did you miss a very large majority of Laker fans giving him grief for those very trade demands? Did you somehow witness us all falling over each other to point out how right he was?

The rest of that "point" reveals this is really just a smokescreen for someone pissed about the "DUI" chants from last Sunday. I already stated that I didn't think they were needed so I'm not going to argue against that... but man, you get ugly when trying to make that point. You would have thought Kobe (allegedly) bent your mother over a hotel room chair.

1. They're In Myopic Denial Of The Favoritsm The Lakers Receive From The NBA.
God, I wish I had an emoticon for me rolling around laughing my ass off at you poor, poor soul. But I guess in a way, this "point" is almost a good thing. It means that the world is almost back to normal because opposing teams fans are starting to call favortism and invoking the Roman emperor David Stern's thumb down at playoff time once more.

Hey, if it makes you feel better about being down 2-0, rock on with yo' bad self.

Let's look at some of this favoritism the Lakers are getting from the league, shall we?

"Since the Lakers can’t be bothered to play on Saturdays, they never have to play a back-to-back at the end of week…typically the most grueling games on the schedule."

Good lord, you're right! The Lakers should be forced to forfeit immediately!

Oooh, the next one is about refereeing. Of course it is. The Lakers always get all the calls in "supremely important games." Yawn.

And you cry about Stern wishing the Finals were the Lakers vs the Lakers? I wonder why he would say that.

Oh, I guess it's because the Lakers draw the ratings. Or to make it more simple for you... Purple And Gold = Green!

But it's okay. I'm sure some day the Commish would love to see a team make the finals whose two star players manage to:

A] Get busted for a DUI on the eve of the playoffs. Awesome!
B] Get kicked out of a close playoff game for two consecutive techs for arguing a play he wasn't even involved in.

I can't imagine why the world's not waiting for the Denver Nuggets to make the Finals.

Good luck tomorrow, good sir.

I'll be waiting to see what kind of wicked favortism Chancellor Stern invokes to secure the sweep for the league's [purple and] golden children.

Crikey!

Just saw this and had to share with the class. I soooooooo can't wait.

Conflict of Loyalties

It's always a difficult time of year for me in April/May. The Dodgers are off to the start of another season... as ugly as of a start as it's been so far. The Lakers are starting their [hopefully] lengthy playoff run. Sometimes it creates quite the conflict of loyalties.

And so was the situation last night.

A few weeks ago, one of the sis-in-laws gifted a pair of tickets to last night's Dodgers game. They were Field level and looked to be pretty good seats so we were pretty stoked about making the mid-week trek up to Chavez Ravine...

...until Sunday when I realized that Laker Playoff Game 2 fell on the same night.

There was no question we were going to the Dodger game but it still stung. I DVRd the Lakers in hopes that I could avoid a final score before getting home. Tiiiiiiiime was on my side it appeared as the Dodger game started a half hour before the Lakers, meaning if the Dodgers wrapped things up in about three hours, I should be able to avoid a final score before leaving the stadium.

When I heard someone on the phone say, "No shit? Kobe has twenty in the first quarter?" I smiled... but cringed that I was getting details that I didn't want. I stopped checking my text messages because my friends are all evil sumbitches who would like nothing more than to spoil the Laker game inadvertently or no for me.

A while later, the Diamondvision lit up with, "NBA Playoffs: Down The Road At Staples!" I covered my ears and closed my eyes... but it didn't drown out the massive cheer, the chants of "SWEEP!" and "M-V-P!" I assumed the Lakers were winning but didn't pursue any details, still hopeful that time would ultimately be my ally.

But as the game went on, I got nervous. The game was simply taking too long. I kept checking the clock. Somewhere in the eighth, I told the Missus that they would show a final score before the Top of the 9th... I knew it.

And sure enough, they did. And no amount of eye-closing or ear-covering could drown out the roar of the Dodger Stadium crowd. I knew the Lakers had won... but it was just a question of by how much and how they played.

When we got home, we watched the first quarter with interest... then took turns falling asleep and missing most of the second. I watched the second half this morning.

Good offense. Bad Defense. Great Kobe. That about sums it up.

14 more. Purple and gold, baby.

Alright. That's enough for ya. I'm watching the Dodgers before Lost starts.

Game on!

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

OHHHH LAKER FANS!

Game One was an amazing afternoon at Staples. We got downtown early as we haven't been to a game in a year or two and wanted some time to check out the Team LA store and just enjoy the day.

The downtown area is rapidly changing with new buildings being put up [our old parking lot was gone!] and old buildings being renovated to look damn spiffy. They still have a long way to go to get the area to a place where your average person would be cool walking down the street when there's not a game going on but... it's progress.

Staples looked awesome with purple and gold balloons by the entrance way. People were gathering around the Magic Johnson statue to take photos before the game including yours truly. After making our way inside, we stopped at the Team LA Store to check out the latest merch... along with every other member of Laker Nation it seemed. The place was PACKED to the roof with Laker fans already decked out in Laker gear looking to scoop up more. I saw a few things that I wanted but they were sold out in my size. The Missus did pick up a new Laker shirt though.

We made our way towards the escalators to get up to our seats. Upstairs, they had decorated the pillars along the walkway so I stopped to get a word of advice from the Zenmaster. Or maybe I was giving him some sound advice on taking advantage of the Nuggets' porous defense? You will never know!

We made our way through the concourse where they were offering free purple and gold hair dye and facepaint to anyone interested - a table that was JAMMED by the way. I chose not to partake as I had a funeral to attend yesterday and couldn't afford to have purple and gold hair dye not come out... yeah, that's why... not because I'm not a face painter. Let's go with that.

Inside the arena, the place was looking awesome. As mentioned previously, our seats were literally in the last row of the building right next to the retired jerseys and the banners. But Staples was designed to go up and not out so really, I've never had a bad seat for a game there. For $12 a seat, this was a perfect seat for me. The place slowly filled through the morning as the Lakers ran various hype videos on the big screen. One thing to note that I love about Staples is the out-of-town scoreboard also shows scores from other sports so I could keep an eye on the Dodger game during timeouts and the like. The Dodgers should take a cue on their boards because there are a ton of Laker fans in LA who would like to be able to keep an eye on the team during the Dodger games.

Couple shots from shootaround...


You already know most of my in-game thoughts from the Live Blog. Pau was amazing, Kobe did his part but for me, the real MVP of that game was Lamar Odom. He was absolutely everywhere in that game. He was dishing assists, he was scoring for himself, he was pulling down boards, he was playing D, he was hustling for loose balls. The team looked great for most of the game except for a few stints where they got sloppy.

The big controversy of the night I guess was the "DUI" chant. For the record, I didn't participate in it but I found it slightly amusing. The first time it happened, I thought it was funny. The other times? It got less and less amusing. By the end, I felt pretty bad for him though. Laker fans hated it when Kobe drew chants like that during his legal trouble so I would think they would feel some empathy for another player getting heat for his off-the-court actions. And if that's not enough, personally I wouldn't want to piss Carmelo off since he's perfectly capable of dropping a big game on us if he gets motivated. There's already talk on the Laker boards that the Nuggets fans are considering a chant in reply to point out Kobe's past problem... something that I think will end very badly for them but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Most of the in-game photos aren't worth posting since they're from so far away but I did catch some nice videos that I might put up later. They're big files so I don't feel like waiting right now.

After the game, we made our way out to Chick Hearn Drive where the post-game showing of Lakers Live was taking place with a ton of screaming Laker fans. We joined in, possibly getting on camera a couple of times as the camera panned the crowd. James Worthy came out on the outside deck above the crowd and waved a few times to a big cheer. And after a few more photos, we called it a day.

Big first win for the Lakers. Fifteen more to go, Laker fans!

UFC Picks Results

Let's take a look, shall we?

Going in to Saturday night...

28 out of 49 for the year for .571
Moneywise - $126.50 for the year

And after?
I went 7 out of 11 for the show with a loss of -$50. Going 0 for 2 on the two main events really hurt me moneywise.

So, for the year...

35 out of 60 for .583 - still room for improvement
Moneywise - I'm still up $76.50 for the year

Be back later today with some Laker Game 1 thoughts and photos!

It's The Brain Pain, Coach

Just got home from a very long day. Woke up at 5 AM to pick up my Mom and take her to my Great Aunt's funeral up in Ventura. Just got home finally.

Too, too tired to think.

A sleepy gift from me to you in the form of one of my favorite TV moments ever.

You get Hoynes!



Be back tomorrow with UFC Picks Results and hopefully some actually quality photos from the Laker game.

15 more wins!

And we get to hang another one of these
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Heading for the 4th

BIG third quarter to take a 19 point lead. Keep it up

Guy is shooting a half courter for 230 thousand. Airballed badly. The ball landed around the top of the key. He missed a banked 3 for a two night stay at the Mirage too

Here comes the fourth! Go Lakers!
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At the half

Nice last 5 min of the half keeps the game close. Keys for the Lakers is tight D and good execution on offense. Don't fall in love with 3 and keep the ball moving in on the soft Denver D.

Halftime entertainment is some Russian acrobats that are pretty cool.

Looks like the Dodgers are losing again. Getting swept by Atl doesn't make me happy so I'm glad I have the Lakers to focus on while the Dodgers get out of their funk.
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End of 1

The wheels came off a bit at the end but they looked good most of the first. They need to stay sharp on transition though because the Nugs get out fast.

Funniest moment so far? DUI chant at Carmelo at the line - funny but soooooo wrong
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We're in!

Last row of the building but if they ever turn this place around, we'll be in the front row!
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Game on! Playoff edition

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UFC Picks

A quick review...

28 out of 49 for the year for .571
Moneywise - $126.50 for the year

Annnnnnnd here goes...

UFC 83
Location: Montreal, Canada
Venue: Bell Centre

Prelims
---
Brad Morris vs. Cain Velasquez
ODDS: Morris +200, Velasquez -260
Morris is 9-2 riding a 4 fight win streak and making his UFC debut. Velasquez is 2-0, also making his UFC debut. This is a tough fight to pick. Velasquez must've been hella impressive to be that big of a favorite off two fights. He's a big, mean looking kid from his photos too.
PICK: Velasquez by TKO [strikes] in Rd 1
BET: None

Ed Herman vs. Demian Maia
ODDS: Maia -180, Herman +140
Ed, from TUF fame, is 14-4 on a three fight win streak. Maia is 6-0 in his second UFC fight... and I can't remember a thing about the first one. I'll stick with the odds on this one.
PICK: Maia by submission [RNC] in Rd 2
BET: None

Jonathan Goulet vs. Kuniyoshi Hironaka
ODDS: Hironaka -240, Goulet +190
Hironaka is 11-4 coming off a loss to Thiago Alves and a prior loss to Fitch. Goulet is 21-9 on a two fight losing streak. Both of these guys are going absolutely nowhere in the division and this is simply a space-filling match.
PICK: Hironaka by decision
BET: None

Alan Belcher vs. Jason Day
ODDS: Belcher -450, Day +300
Goodness. Quite the odds on this one. Belcher is 12-4 on a two fight win streak but he's lost to guys like Kendall Grove and Okami so he's not going anywhere in the division. Day is 16-5 on a four fight win streak and making his UFC debut. He's a Canadian so that explains why he's on the show. I'm gonna give the newcomer a shot.
PICK: Day by TKO [strikes] in Rd 2
BET: $10 on Day to win $30

Rich Clementi vs. Sam Stout
ODDS: Clementi +120, Stout -160
Clementi is 30-12-1 on a four fight win streak but he's got a loss to Din Thomas on his record so how serious can you take him. Stout is 13-3-1 on a two fight win streak... and he's from Canada. Go figure.
PICK: Stout by TKO [strikes] in Rd 2
BET: None

Joe Doerksen vs. Jason MacDonald
ODDS: MacDonald -165, Doerksen +135
Doerkson is 39-11 on a two fight win streak. MacDonald is 19-9 and was on a bit of a streak before falling to Rich Franklin and Okami. Not the worst people to lose to.
PICK: MacDonald by decision
BET: None

MAIN CARD
---
Marc Bocek vs. Mac Danzig
ODDS: Danzig -500, Bocek +300
Good grief, the odds are bad on some of these fights. I bet Dana gets pissed at the oddsmakers for stacking so many matches like they're that bad of a mismatch. Bocek is 5-1. Danzig is 17-4-1 coming off his only UFC win. Shrug. Take your pick.
PICK: Danzig by TKO [Rd 2]
BET: Throw a tenner on Bocek to win $30

Michael Bisping vs. Charles McCarthy
ODDS: Bisping -330, McCarthy +260
Bisping is 14-1 coming off his only loss... but he really should be coming off two losses in a row. This is his first fight at a lighter weight class so theoretically he should be powering his opponent around the cage. McCarthy is 10-4 with nothing of note on his record and apparently he cut MAJOR weight to make the limit for this fight so I expect him to gas out early and get pummeled.
PICK: Bisping by TKO [strikes] in Rd 2
BET: I'll drop $10 on McCarthy to cover the upset for $26

Nate Quarry vs. Kalib Starnes
ODDS: Quarry -265, Starnes +205
Quarry's 9-2 and on a bit of a roll minus a loss to Rich Franklin. Starnes is 8-2-1 and going nowhere. Quarry needs to steamroll him to get some attention from Joe Silva.
PICK: Quarry by TKO [strikes] in Rd 1
BET: None

Rich Franklin vs. Travis Lutter
ODDS: Franklin -320, Lutter +210
Franklin's coming off another big loss to Anderson Silva and is really in a no-win position here. If he wins, he's not getting another shot at Silva so he'll have to either wait til someone beats Silva [not happening any time soon!] or he'll have to change weight classes if he wants to challenge for a title again. Lutter's 9-4 also coming off a loss to Silva. He needs a good showing to stay in the UFC's good graces after failing to make weight against Silva. That was embarrassing for him and for the UFC. The Countdown show did a good job of making you root for him to make a comeback though. I'll take a flyer on Lutter realizing he's in a bad spot.
PICK: Lutter by submission - triangle in Rd 2
BET: $20 on Lutter to win $42

Matt Serra vs. Georges St. Pierre (title-unification bout)
ODDS: GSP -500, Serra +300
This is an intriguing fight to me and really the main reason anyone wants to see this show. Everyone is predicting GSP knocks him flat and is re-anointed as arguably the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world. A lot of trash talk has flown both ways. A lot of people claiming disrespect by the other. Serra is in a no-lose position here. If he loses, everyone expected him to lose and he's got money in a grudge match with Matt Hughes and a rubber match with GSP. If he wins, he's beaten the heir apparent... twice. Everyone is expecting GSP to be a lot more focused on this one but I have a nagging doubt that he will be. It's hard to be focused when everyone in the free world says you're going to win easily. As such...
PICK: Matt Serra by TKO [strikes] in Rd 2
BET: The remaining $50 on Serra to win $150 if he pulls off the big upset

Top Five Friday: The Second Season Begins

Oh yeah, baby!

Starting tomorrow, the NBA Playoffs are underway and for a basketball fan [a _true_ basketball fan, not this NCAA nonsense,] it's one of the most exciting times of the year.

And for a Laker fan, such as myself, it's DEFINITELY an exciting time of year as the Lakers look to be one of the top teams in the playoffs this year and absolutely have a chance of going the distance. But you gotta play 'em one game at a time, give it a hundred and ten percent, and the good Lord willing... things will work out. Thanks, Crash.

I was lucky enough to score a pair of tickets to Game 1 on Sunday against Denver so I will likely attempt some moderate form of liveblogging [similar to the Dodger game from last week] during the game. Look for that!

But for today, it's time for a Top Five Friday and with the buzz of NBA playoff action in the air, what better topic than...

TOP FIVE LAKER PLAYOFF MOMENTS

NOTE: Please be aware that I really didn't start watch the Lakers regularly til the mid-90s which'll eliminate a lot of the postseason moments you would ordinarily see on this kind of list as I really only want to list stuff that I actually saw as it happened.

5. Eternal Hangtime
This one probably only makes the list because I was actually at the game. In typical Laker fashion, they had managed to work themselves [either up or down] into a close finish in Game 2 of the 2000 Western Conference Semifinals. The timeout right before the end had everyone on their feet, going nutty at the possibility of a game-winner. Kobe had the ball at the top of the arc, slowly, slowly, then moving in. Near the corner at the top of the key, he elevated with Jason Kidd in his face, hung in the air for what seemed like an eternity, and double-pumped his way to a 97-96 win and a 2-0 lead in the series. It was the loudest I've ever heard the Staples Center crowd when I was in the building.


4. I Got This One
Game 4 of the 2000 NBA Finals saw the Lakers and Pacers heading to Overtime. The Lakers were up 2-1 in the series and a win by the Pacers would have put the Purple And Gold on their heels with Game 5 in Indiana as well. Things looked dire for the Los Angeles Five that day as Shaq managed to foul out shortly into the overtime period and Kobe was playing on a sprained ankle. What followed was nothing short of a masterful performance by Kobe flying solo capped off by this:


3. .4 seconds
Like this one really needs explained. Game 5 of the 2004 Playoffs had the Lakers and the defending champion San Antonio Spurs meeting in the Western Conference Semifinals. The series was even with the winner of this game gaining a huge edge. The Spurs got a big basket with Tim Duncan making an incredible fadeaway jumper over Shaq leaving just .4 seconds on the clock and giving the Spurs a 73-72 lead. No one thought it could be done. Everyone knew that the entire Spurs team would blanket Kobe to prevent him from getting the ball. The Spurs got a big shot... the Lakers got a bigger one.



2. The Unbelievable Game 7
The 2000 Western Conference Finals saw Portland versus the Lakers in a breathtaking showdown. When all the dust had settled, it came down to a huge Game 7 in Los Angeles that I think every person in Southern California was watching. It was an epic struggle and somehow the Lakers found themselves down going into the fourth quarter... down big. Down 15 points against a team who had taken them to the limit, it had poor Laker fans like my beloved wife [future wife at that point] muttering to herself, "I'll be okay if they lose. It's going to be alright if they lose." But fortunately, we never had to find that out as the Lakers erased the 15 point lead and went beyond to take the victory. This insane fourth quarter also features one of the greatest baskets in Laker history... one of the most iconic moments in Los Angeles sports history with the Kobe to Shaq ally-oop dunk.



And the undisputed #1...

1. BIG...SHOT...BOB!
I... I just can't do it justice. Just watch.



Thank you, Vlade Divac, for the greatest assist of your career.

Uh oh

There's still a Top Five coming later today but in my unofficial role as the G.I. Joe movie watchdog, I must say...

"Uh oh"

Take a look.


First shot of Marlon Wayans as Ripcord. Where's the camo?! Seriously, I'd be okay with this... maybe... if it didn't get worse. At least I'm looking at the picture and not mocking him immediately. Let's keep going.


First shot of Channing Tatum as Duke. Again, it could be worse. It's not the original costumes for sure. It looks like Fox had a fire sale on the X-Men costumes after KILLING OFF MOST OF THE TEAM and Paramount reaped the benefits. When I joked about the black leather on Scarlett earlier this week, I didn't realize the whole team would be sporting it. The whole team except...
Ohhh my. Dennis Quaid as Hawk looks... well... uhhh... highly metro. What's with the fucking beret? Did someone pick up a Flint action figure and get confused? Where's the flat top, dammit? I'd say, "There's plenty of time to fix it" but apparently Quaid already done shooting so... whew. This image alone is enough to scare me horribly... or scar me... not sure which one.
Yeaaaaaaah. Well, at least they went all-white with the Storm Shadow costume. But where's the mask? And why does it look like he's wearing a trenchcoat?
Now _this_ looks right. She's the one that's supposed to be in skintight black leather! Ahh, I have a feeling her posters will be selling very well next year. Hell, I could probably sell them at Comic-Con this year for a bundle.
"Cover Girl is sporting this year's cutting edge trend in camo. Perfect for skulking in the jungles, sizing up a killshot, jogging on the beach on a misty morning, and cuddling by the fire with that special someone. Note the stylish watch - this girl won't be missing any dates any time soon! Available now on Page 21 of the J Peterman catalog. $89.95"

Larry Hama... take me away!

Oasis vs Jay Z - Let's Get It On!

I saw this news headline last night and I kept it open in my browser specifically so I could write about it today.

Everyone's heard of the Glastonbury Festival in the UK, right? It's pretty much the world's most famed music festival. In the 1970s, it hosted acts like David Bowie, Joan Baez, and T.Rex. In the 80s, when it became an annual show, it featured headliners like Elvis Costello, The Cure, New Order, and the Pixies. Moving into the 90s saw the Breeders, Beastie Boys, Radiohead, Oasia, the Foo Fighters, Page And Plant, and even Dylan.

It's gone from one stage to a half dozen or so and really has become the biggest festival going. It traditionally sells out [well over 150k tickets] every year within a matter of hours, no matter if the lineup has been released or not.

This year? No sell out. In fact, there are about 40,000 tickets left.

Why? Some blame the poor weather for the past four years of the Festival.

Others, including Oasis' own Noel Gallagher blames the decision to make Jay Z one of the headliners.

You have to admit, Jay Z doesn't exactly fit in with the list of names above, does he? It sounds like they mean well by making him a headliner and are really going all out for it. Apparently, he is scheduled to appear at a Nelson Mandela birthday tribute the day before and will accompany Mandela to Glastonbury. Mandels himself will appear during Jay Z's set to address the crowd and the set will also feature guest appearances by Beyonce, Stevie Wonder, Will Smith, and Linkin Park - so there's definitely no lacking star power.

Noel says, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it. If you break it, people ain't gonna go. I'm sorry, but Jay-Z? ... No chance." He also argued that the inclusion of hip-hop at the festival goes against the tradition of the festival saying, "I'm not having hip-hop at Glastonbury. No way. No. It's wrong."

One of the Festival co-organizers, Emily Eavis, argues that the festival has a long history of attracting rap acts citing Cypress Hill and The Roots as examples. Doing a quick scan of the Festival's previous lineups shows a Black Eyed Peas performance as well.

Then she struck hard saying, "There is also an interesting undercurrent in the suggestion that a black, U.S. hip-hop artist shouldn't be playing in front of what many perceive to be a white, middle-class audience. I'm not sure what to call it, at least not in public, but this is something that causes me some disquiet."

Ouch. I hope she wasn't planning on inviting Oasis to appear again anytime soon.

This actually kinda reminds me of the Warped Tour several years ago after a long period of strictly being punk/ska/etc. they invited Body Count and Eminem to appear on the lineup. That show did appear to be at a lower attendance level than previous years and I wondered then if it was a backlash because of the hip hop/rap acts being added. I thought both acts were a nice addition in hindsight but I could understand a lot of fans being upset by them being there.

Same goes with Jay Z. If I'm hoping for a Led Zeppelin appearance or Foo Fighters or R.E.M. and get Jay Z instead, no matter how cool "the moment" will be with his guest stars, I might be less inclined to go as well. And no, I don't think it's a race thing, I think it's a personal music choice thing.

March Mixtape: More Details

It occurs to me this morning that I probably should've given some more info about the March Mixtape rather than just throwing the link up and letting you play Musical Russian Roulette.

Soooooo... the bad news? It checks in somewhere over two hours.

The good news? Music from Leonard Cohen, Eddie Vedder, The Velvet Underground, The Rolling Stones, Belle And Sebastian, Sonic Youth, Stevie Wonder, The Clash, Jackie Wilson, Kate Nash, Colin Meloy of the Decemberists, and many, many more.

So download it today so I don't feel bad for spending so much time working on it!

We've Seen Snakes, Now See Scarlett

EDIT: 4/15, 11 PM - Link went down. Back up now.




The leather costume reminds me a little too much of X-Men. Other than that, I have no complaints.

Thoughts?

Mixtape of the Month - March

Okay, okay... I'm past due. But I did warn you it would be a little late because I was working on something different for it.

And here it is.

This is the first Mixtape of the Month podcast. I decided a couple months ago that it just wasn't right that I would post this list of songs every month and give you no way to hear it. So, now you have a way to hear them.

You've also got me providing commentary between songs to do the usual Mixtape stuff... explain where I found it, why I dig it, etc.

Now, a warning...

This podcasting thing is very much a work in progress for me. I'm already on my second mic and I think I'm going to return it in the next couple days to get a headset mic. I recorded this edition on Apple's GarageBand program which seems to have given me mixed results. It was easy to use but it has left the volume levels lower than desired. You may have trouble hearing the recaps and reviews if you're not listening to this on earphones. I'll try to do better next time!

The good news is that I put this up in mp3 form so you can listen to it in the car, from afar, up against the minibar... wherever you so desire. Bad news? It's a little tough to hear and it's shockingly long. I didn't quite realize how long it would take me to ramble incoherently!

The music on it, in my opinion, is fantastic though so for most of you it's probably worth a listen.

For April's, I'm hoping to solve both the volume and length issues but we shall see.

Enjoy!

Mixtape Of The Month (March)

The Ten Demandments Of Dodger Fandom

EDIT - 4/15, 8:41 AM - Added the promised photos at the bottom

As you are all aware, I attended the Dodgers/Padres game on Friday night at Dodger Stadium. I entered the gates with excitement to see my first game of the season, with enthusiasm for the new season, and with hope that the home team would be able to avenge their bitter loss to Jake Peavy and his Padres the week prior.

I left the stadium disappointed, deflated, and embarassed.

And it wasn't because they lost [although that didn't help one bit.]

Somewhere around the seventh inning when the Dodgers were suffering a slight deficit on the scoreboard, a scattering of fans somewhere near us began chanting "PADRES SUCK!" We remarked with amusement that the chant was a tough one to get behind when we were losing. Soon, the crowd was abuzz and on their feet... but unfortunately, it wasn't looking at the field. Instead, they were looking at the aforementioned section of seats where apparently a Padres fan had taken offense to the chant.

Some predictable shit-talking had ensued and had now escalated to threats of physical violence. I've seen this kind of thing happen at the Stadium before. It's usually broken up in short order and people sink back into their seats a little embarassed by their actions. But this time, no security arrived for a long, long time. I later speculated they must have been waiting for backup because when they arrived, it was en masse. Some pushing and shoving, some screaming and shouting, some shirts removed, some severe posturing occurred. Security arrived... managed to get some control and were in the process of kicking both parties out when suddenly another scuffle broke out as someone else reached out to shove one of the parties getting kicked out. The whole scene probably took ten minutes or so to resolve itself and in the process, the Pads had chalked up another couple runs.

A family that was seated in front of us with their kids who were attending their first game, bailed out and fled the section. And who can really blame them? And to top it off, who knows if they'll be quick to come back next time?

So, like I said... I was embarassed to be wearing the same jersey as these jackasses who decided that they were willing to physically defend their team's honor at any costs. I was concerned that the Stadium's crowd has devolved down the evolutionary scale so badly. Over the years, the Dodger fans have slowly gained a worse and worse reputation and this is exactly why. I don't know if it's leftover Raiders fans who just came down the freeway [and yes, I know exactly how that sounds] or what.

I've seen it get worse and worse over the years. Now it seems like every time I go to the Stadium, I see someone get kicked out for trying to start a fight with an opposing team's fans. Really? Are you serious? I'm all for giving another team's fans shit in your home stadium but to actually try to get physically provoke them? Lifetime ban from the Stadium sounds appropriate to me.

I'll leave the security measures to the Stadium but something needs to be done before the Stadium empties out of kids and families and people are legitimately afraid to walk through the turnstiles.

With that in mind, I propose a little self-government. I've come up with a list of Ten Demandments - no, not Commandments because God knows we wouldn't want to be sacriligious but Demandments ala Hulk Hogan telling us to say our prayers, take our vitamins, believe in ourselves, and inject your 600mg of Deca-Durabolin daily. These are the Ten Demandments of Dodger Fandom - the rules that all Dodger fans should be required to follow for their own sanity and the sanity of those around them.


The Ten Demandments Of Dodger Fandom

1. Thou Shalt Keep Hands, Feet, Objects To Yourself
Obviously as the inspiration for this post, this is the first one... the biggie. Hey, I'm as big a fan as anyone in that Stadium and I've never felt the need to physically assault someone over the action of the field. I believe in the shit-talking. I believe in telling Padres fans that it's "cute" that their team hangs divisional title banners and that we'd do it if we had room next to all our World Championship banners. I believe in believing all Angels fans are bandwagon jumping whores who don't recognize the names of Donnie Moore, Brian Downing, and Doug DeCinces and I believe in letting them know that odds are high that I know more about their team then they do. But I also believe that that's as far it should go. No flinging peanuts at high velocities... no chocolate malts winged through the sky... no threats of physical violence... and absolutely no escalation to physical violence. If you can't beat them down with your words, you're not enough of a man to continue the battle so sit the fuck down and shut up.

2. Thou Shalt Leave The Beach Balls At The Beach
I have made it my personal mission to rid the Stadium of the beach ball. Any ball that comes near me is going over the railing if I have anything to say about it [and on Friday night, my friend Phil and I sent two of them over the edge.] It's disrespectful to the players on the field and to the other fans who are trying to watch and enjoy a baseball game. I didn't sign on to play beach ball when I buy my ticket so get the fucking things away from me.

3. Thou Shalt Not Do "The Wave"
Seriously, people. Los Angeles and Southern California in general are always supposed to be on the cutting edge... keeping up with the trends... all that shit. So why the hell do we perform like circus animals in our Stadium doing some kind of fan ritual that first popped up in the mid-80's. Do fans in other stadiums even do "The Wave" anymore? And it's just so fucking pathetic to watch the people in the pavillion try to get the damn thing started inning after inning repeatedly until people just give in and do it out of mercy. If the height of its popularity was an old TBS Superstation commercial in the 80's, it's probably time to give it up.

4. Thou Shalt Put Your Trash Under Your Seat
This is an easy one. Just chuck it under your chair. Don't try to shove it under the seat in front of you. Don't put it under your feet so people can't walk through the row without stepping in nacho cheese. Just stuff it under your seat and be done with it.

5. Thou Shalt Not Boo The Home Team
Man, I felt so bad for Andruw Jones on Friday night. Yes, he's struggling. Yes, we'll all spend the whole season tearing our hair out if he keeps hitting this way and makes that much money. But does booing him really help? You think that's going to inspire him to suddenly smack one out of the Stadium? It's just classless. Talk as much shit as you want about his performance but there's no need to boo him when he pops up in a clutch situation. Cheer the name on the front of the uniform if you can't cheer the one on the back.

6. Thou Shalt Not Keep Your Eyes Locked On Your Cellphone
Okay, I understand the need/desire to do it a bit. Hell, I even took the Blackberry with me to do some liveblogging and take some pictures. But I was doing it between innings for the most part. I've seen people spend the entire game with their eyes glued to their phone for whatever reason. What's the point? Stay home. In yesterday's game, there was a foul bowl hit in the Dugout Seats that some fool missed WHILE WEARING A GLOVE because he was too busy chatting on his cell phone. He got booed. See, HIM... you boo!

7. Thou Shalt Not Settle For Steamed Dodger Dogs
It may be an odd one but it's an important one! How could anyone settle for one of those boiled/steamed Dodger Dogs when you can walk twenty more feet away and pick up one of those awesome Grilled Dodger Dogs? Mmmmm. And more importantly, if everyone demands Grilled Dodger Dogs, eventually every stand will have them!

8. Thou Shalt Not Root For Injuries
I can't stand it when someone goes down on the field and the fans cheer. I can't stand hearing someone get excited at the fact that so-and-so went down with a torn hammy and will miss the upcoming big game. It all comes 'round in the end. It's bad karma if you believe in that sort of thing. If you don't, it's just in really poor taste and means you should probably be on one of the lower circle of Hell... or a Giants fan.

9. Thou Shalt Listen To Vin Scully When Given The Chance
Friday night was mini Helmet Radio night. They gave out these mini battery-powered radios with batteries that were pre-programmed to the Dodgers radio station. So, why were the people I with some of the only people in our section that ripped the boxes open to listen to Vinny call the game? The man is a treasure of the game and should be cherished as one. There was a time when I was a kid that people used to bring huge radios to the Stadium with them just so they could listen to Vinny while they were watching the game. You could hear his voice through the entire Stadium. Now? You're more likely to listen to someone discussing what happened on Grey's Anatomy the night before.

10. Thou Shalt Know Your Dodger History
Please, please, please make an attempt to know your Dodger History if you're going to hold yourself up as a Dodger fan. I'm not talking stats, dates, etc. although all those are nice. But at least have some kind of familiarity with the legends of the team's history. You should know names from the 90's like Mike Piazza and Eric Karros. You should know names from the 80's like Kirk Gibson, Fernando Valenzuela, Pedro Guerrero, and Orel Hershiser among others. You should know names from the 70s like Ron Cey and Steve Garvey. You should know names from the 60s like Sandy Koufax, Don Drysdale, and Maury Wills. And you really should even go further back like Johnny Podres, Pee Wee Reese, Gil Hodges, Roy Campanella, Don Newcombe, and so on and so. Come on, people. Just make a little effort. Don't be an Angels fan and not know who was on your team before... well, last week.

And that's that. Just to show that I'm not all piss and vinegar about the Dodgers now, here are a few pictures from Friday night that I wanted to share...

News & Reaction: Sports Edition

NEWS: Lakers can win top spot in West with win on Tuesday over Sacramento
REACTION: Seeding is usually so important in the NBA playoffs but with such a tough Western Conference, I'm not sure how much it matters this year. Even with a win of the top spot in the West, you could end up facing either Golden State, Denver, or Dallas. GS has given the Lakers nightmares this year. Denver is ever dangerous with Iverson and Carmelo both capable of dropping 40+ on any given night. And Dallas is a very deadly team. Dirk has seemingly been lights out in clutch situations all year long and while he's famous for having trouble translating that into the post-season, I'm not sure I'm willing to take that risk in the first round. Whoever it is, I will be in the Staples Center for Round One, Game One next weekend and hope to do a little liveblogging from the game.

NEWS: Dodgers lose 2-3 on the weekend to the Padres
REACTION: Ugh. Just plain ugh. This very easily could have been a weekend sweep - that's the bright side. The dark side is - this very easily could have been a weekend sweep... bu t the Dodgers couldn't get the job done! Friday night, I questioned some of the managerial decisions but the bullpen obviously faltered when it counted. Today, they were 0 for 6 with runners in scoring position. In a one run game, that's just unacceptable. I still expect the team to turn things around but it's been a very rough start to the season for the Boys in Blue.

NEWS: Matt Serra vs GSP next weekend
REACTION: I'll be doing my UFC picks later in the week but I'm starting to get pretty psyched for this fight. GSP is easily a better fighter in the eyes of most but Serra pulled it off once so you just never know. I'm a fan of Matt Serra. I think he's genuinely a good guy and I'm happy to see him enjoying success. But a loss to GSP will have everyone calling him a fluke and send him down the ladder far and fast. It's going to be a tough one to win for Serra but I'll be pulling for him.

NEWS: Blue watches TNA PPV
REACTION: I did? Oh, that's right, I did! While I watched it through less than legal means and thus didn't contribute a dime to Panda Energy, I did check out the show in hopes of seeing one of my favs, Samoa Joe, win the TNA World Title. He did and I was pleased. Oh, and the rest of the show wasn't horrid either. It wasn't enough to make me want to buy the next one but it wasn't as bad as I expected either. And I want to make my early suggestion for Frank Trigg to IMMEDIATELY replace Don West as color man or at least join the team. It was such a refreshing change from West screaming "UNFREAKINGBEELIEVABLE" at every opportunity.

NEWS: Dodger fans need to follow 10 Commandments
REACTION: No, not _the_ Ten Commandments. Not "the original stone tablets that Moses brought down out of Mt. Horeb and smashed, if you believe in that sort of thing." What? Didn't any of you guys go to Sunday School... or watch Raiders Of The Lost Ark.. a lot? More on this tomorrow.

Believe It... Or Not!

Where the hell is John Davidson when you need him?

We just got home and I'm wiped out. So this is all you get tonight...



Like I said before I saw it, it can't be real...

...right?

WTF

I'm so ready to be proven wrong but I don't get not hitting for Penny with a runner on third when he has over 80 pitches and just got rocked.
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Buyer's Remorse

Someone who regretted their purchase almost immediately
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IMG00039.jpg

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Game bloggin'

In the parking lot before the game.

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Game On!

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