Cinco de Mayo... sorta

We had a Cinco de Mayo fiesta today... a couple days early... just because a Monday party was difficult to pull off. So, I'm a tad bit... well, drunk... to be honest...

How can I fill up an entire post without something logical while slightly intoxicated?

It's a challenge to not have a world of typos at this point. The Missus just accused me of denting the wall where I knocked a metal Fleur de Lis off the wall earlier. Sheesh! I'll have to check tomorrow to see if that's actually true or not.

At the moment, I find myself drinking Corona while typing and watching the nephew/niece playing Super Smash Brothers. Good times.

There's a certain amount of blurriness involved but I stand firm, believing that I type like a champion while waitiing for the eyes to straighten out somewhatish.

Word.

So, now you see drunken Blue typing like the King of the World. How's that for ya, bitches?

Suck it, monkeys! I'm going corporate!

Did I stutter?

Top Five Friday: Comic Book Movies

With Iron Man hitting screens this week, it seems like an appropriate time to look back at some of the very best comic book adaptations to hit the big screen.

So, let's!

NOTE: I haven't seen Iron Man yet [but hope to this weekend] so that one won't make the list... yet! Also, I haven't watched Transformers yet so... well, subject to change!

5. Blade

It's odd. As I started thinking of movies to put together on this list, my mind drifted to movies that a lot of people don't even associate as having a comic book as their source materials. Things like 300 or Sin City could've easily made the list as well but just fell short. Another thing that's weird about the list I came up with is that as much of a stickler as I am for staying true to your source material, the majority of the movies that came to mind I had very little familiarity with the original source or the movie was notorious for tossing it aside. Anyways, Blade is just flat out cool. It's a comic I've never read - not even after seeing the movie and really had no desire to. But the movie version of Blade is awesome - although I think it is helped greatly by the tremendous performance of Stephen Dorff as Deacon Frost, one of the all-time great movie villains that is criminally overlooked and underappreciated when that discussion comes up.

4. Batman
How could you not like things like the Bat Shark Repellant? Or the zany popups on the screen with "POW!" or "THWACK!"

...

Huh? Oh. Not _that_ Batman.

Gotcha. Well, the Nicholson one was good too. And really, isn't Nicholson the key to the first Batman movie? It may not be the Joker performance that comic book fans were dying to see... and in just a few weeks time, we may discover it's not even the best Joker performance in a movie... but it's Jack being Jack and being Jack to perfection. All the one-liners are gold. "This town needs an enema!" "Never rub another man's rhubarb!" "If you've gotta go, go with a smile!" Michael Keaton is... okay. Keaton was good as the dopey, bumbling side of Bruce Wayne... but Bruce Wayne doesn't have a dopey, bumbling side. Before Batman Begins came out, I used to say that Keaton was a good Batman but a bad Bruce Wayne - Kilmer was a good Bruce Wayne but a bad Batman - Clooney was just plain bad. Christian Bale pretty much broke the mold but more on that later. Anyways, give full credit for this making the list to Jack Nicholson... or a cameo by Lando Calrissian as pre-scarred Harvey Dent.

3. The Crow
Another comic book movie that I've never read the comic book of - despite owning a t-shirt promoting the comic that I bought at Hot Topic as a youth and wore endlessly resulting in many a photo from my youth where I'm wearing the t-shirt... and I never read it... and I shopped at Hot Topic... somebody just wipe all those memories out of my head please. The Crow was an utterly fantastic movie that I just realized I don't own on DVD and felt absolutely sick about it. The epitome of a revenge flick and just about perfect in every aspect. It's dark, it's creepy, but it still tells the story and doesn't get lost in the violence. And if nothing else, it brought two quotes into my world that I love to death. The first? "It can't rain all the time." I spout this one off from time to time when it seems like things just can't get worse - a glimmer of light in a very dark and gloomy world at times. The other? The one that prompted my good friend Poff Daddy to air-hump any light post, mailbox, video game, golf club or anything else that would give him the opportunity to bellow "BANGIN' AWAY ON DARRRRLA!" at the top of his lungs on any number of nights. Ahhh, memories.

2. Batman Begins

I just couldn't do it. As much as I wanted to rank this number one for being very close to a perfect comic book adaptation, I just couldn't do it. I love the acting [for the most part,] I love the story, I love the lighting, the set design, the "toys", everything about it. Cillian Murphy as The Scarecrow stole the movie for me actually - he lit up the screen with charisma every time he was on it. I could've done with him as the lone villain in it. I can watch this movie over and over and seemingly never tire of it. So, why didn't it get the top spot?

1. Superman 2

Sigh. How could I not? It was a hard choice, I'll admit. Batman Begins did a worlds better job of sticking to the source material - something I treasure in a comic book movie... hell, any adapted flick generally. But there's something magical about Superman 2. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's Superman making the great sacrifice to be Clark for the rest of his days for his love - only to realize that he was being selfish and society needed him to be Superman. Maybe it's the menacing trio of villains - the brawn, the sexy siren, or the brains. Maybe it's the face that the phrase "Kneel before Zod" is a permanent part of pop culture because of it. I don't really know what it is but I'll be damned if Superman 2 isn't the best comic book movie ever released on Planet Houston.

And that's that.

Updated Concert Calendar

A new month - a newly updated Concert Calendar!

And to make things oh-so-much cooler, I'm actually going to a few of these shows so I have bolded them for your reference or for your jealousy... whichever applies more.

May
---
5/6 - Laura Veira/Liam Finn @ The Echo
5/13 - Port O'Brien, Someone Still Loves You, Boris Yeltsin @ The Echo
5/14 - Kate Nash @ Henry Fonda
5/15 - Eisley @ The El Rey
5/17 - Eisley @ Glass House
5/17 - Earlimart @ The Echo
5/19 - The Kooks @ The Wiltern
5/27 - The Police @ Hollywood Bowl
5/28 - Mates of State @ Henry Fonda
5/29 - R.E.M. @ Hollywood Bowl
5/30 - Flight Of The Conchords @ The Orpheum
5/31 - The Cure @ Hollywood Bowl

June
----
6/18 - Rilo Kiley @ Greek Theatre
6/23 - Death Cab For Cutie @ Nokia Theater
6/25 - Tom Petty @ Hollywood Bowl

July
----
7/11-12 - Ricky Gervais @ Kodak Theatre
7/16 - Journey, Heart, and Cheap Trick @ Irvine Meadows
7/28 - Bloc Party @ Glass House

August
------
8/1 - Rod Stewart/Bryan Adams @ The Venue Formerly Known As Irvine Meadows
8/2 - Motley Crue @ Glen Helen Pavillion
8/22 - Tom Petty @ Verizon Wireless
8/23 - Poison w/Dokken, Sebastian Bach @ Universal Amp
8/29-30 - John Williams @ Hollywood Bowl

September
---------
9/6 - Nine Inch Nails @ The Forum
9/20 - Beck w/Spoon, MGMT @ Hollywood Bowl

The G.I. Joe Producer Speaks... INVISIBLE!

A new interview with G.I. Joe movie producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura hit the Interweb today. Let's see if he can soothe some of the butt hurt Joe fans out there... yours truly included.

Here are the highlights:

** When asked about the difference between producing Transformers and G.I. Joe -
"They’re completely different. I mean, to me I don’t look at them as toy properties... I look at them as mythologies. So, G.I. Joe is a really, really in depth mythology... The characters involved and intertwined nature and G.I. Joe it’s very funny how everybody’s very intertwined. It’s very different than in a lot of the comic book mythologies I’ve run into. The lines between good and evil are drawn differently. I think the Storm Shadow and Snake-Eyes, it’s a great thing and is Storm Shadow evil? Well, some people think so. I don’t. Is Snake-eyes also righteous in this? I’m not so sure, he’s blaming his buddy for something he may or may not have done, you know, so it’s that interesting duality where the characters live in a world that’s good guys and bad guys but it’s also a gray area."

REACTION: Not a bad answer. He's done some homework at least. And I _really_ hope this means that the Snakes/Stormy/Hard Master storyline will be explored to some extent as the chief conflict between the two.

** When asked the very obvious question on a lot of fans' minds about having too many characters to introduce and flesh out -
"Well, it’s a hard question to answer. We think we’re going to deliver on all the characters. We think the script actually delivers really well and sets up each character. You’re going to understand the back-stories of virtually every major character and then you’re going to understand the roles of the ones you don’t. You may not know everything you know if you’ve read the comic book but you’re going to recognize them if you’ve read the comic book and you’re certainly going to want to know more about them by the end of it which is part of the tease. And there’s some character info that will be new to the comic fans."

REACTION: I don't buy it. There's just no friggin' way to cover that many characters unless they're breaking the two hour mark for the movie by a LOT of screen time. I'm glad they recognize this could be a problem but I just don't think there's a legitimate way to resolve it without a lot of these appearances being just cameos... which I'm fine with to some degree.

** On the level of violence and the rating and target demo and such -
"You know for us, we think the people who grew up with the comic book and the animated show are going to be our core audience. We think that the older audience that identifies with the pre-83 Joe is going to have some education to go through but are going to relate to the title because the values of it are the same. The storytelling is different but if you think about the values, they’re very similar, you know? Integrity, honesty, bravery, courage, you know things like that that I think you just associate with both versions of G.I. Joe. It’s an all audience movie. I mean, there are 2 really strong romances. There are a lot of things in there that’s going to appeal to people. It’s going to be PG-13. Look I’ve been involved with a lot of R-rated movies and a lot of PG-13. You just sort of begin to understand the difference and Stephen Sommers has no intention of making an R-rated movie and it would be silly to do so because you should appeal down to kids."

REACTION: This is all well and good. No one expect G.I. Joe to be like the opening scene in Saving Private Ryan, I don't think. It's a war story but largely, it's a comic book war story. I have no issue with this being PG-13. I am curious about the two romances though. It had better be Snakes/Scarlett and Baroness/Destro but I have an itchy suspicion we're going to get hosed on one of those for some romance that didn't exist in the comics or TV show.

** To address the photos of everyone in black leather -
"I would say each character has more than one outfit, by in large, other than of course Snake Eyes, but everybody else has multiple looks. I think our costume designer’s phenomenal and she’s just done a great job in delivering a very varied look. You know, Snake Eyes is a character in black so he would be in black and you know we looked through all the comic books and The Baroness and unless we’re missing something she’s always in black. Every character in the movie is not in black all the way through including - other than Snake Eyes - who has to be in black all the way through. So, you know, there’s multiple looks that for each of those characters that you’ll see them in different color schemes and in different attitudes I’d say."

REACTION: Good answer! If this is true, this eases my mind a bit. Although I really wish the interviewer would have asked about the god-awful Storm Shadow costume. I'm still hoping that's the costume he wears when he goes to a high school dance and slashes some U.S. government official's daughter's throat with a sword. Tell me that scene wouldn't rock your boat!

** When asked to compare the tone of the movie to the comics or TV show -
"That’s an interesting question. I guess it’s definitely a comic book movie and it’s definitely has a great sense of humor, so there’s a lot of humor and a lot of drama and a lot of action. I would say there’s an equal measure of all 3 of those things in the movie."

REACTION: That raises a bit of a red flag to me. The animated show had a ton of humor, for sure, but that's one of the reasons most people didn't like it as well as the comics. If they try to go too funny with this, it'll fall flat and hard.

** THE PIT!
"We built a couple of the levels of The Pit as Stephen has imagined it and Ed Verreaux, our designer, is really gigantic so you couldn’t really build all of it, but so some of it. But we built a full floor of it which is gigantic. I think everybody’s going to be really happy that we took The Pit very seriously and built it to fulfill anybody’s sense of fantasy of what it could be."

REACTION: Surprisingly, I really couldn't give a damn about what The Pit looks like. It's not like X-Men's Danger Room where it's an iconic part of the mythology and has to be done perfectly or people will be up in arms. I mean, I'm sure there are some people that will shit themselves if The Pit doesn't match the diagram that was in one of the old Marvel annuals but I'm not one of them.

** More on Snakes vs Stormy

"We’re really exploring the mythology and we hope that the mythology, if we’re lucky enough to get to a 2^nd film, we want to continue to explore the mythology of the two characters. It’s very rich and this movie explores a lot about how they met at first and how they fell apart. And yes we have shot a fight between the 2 of them and we hope that everybody’s going to agree with us that it’s going to be one of those great battles."

REACTION: Allow me a moment to give a warning that you, Mr. Bonaventura, will never read. If you fuck up this one part of the story, Snakes and Stormy, G.I. Joe fans will never forgive you. It's the one thing you can not afford to blow. You can probably get by with invisible Scarlett... you can probably get by with Destro wearing the mask because of injury... you can probably even get by with metrosexual Hawk... but if you FUBAR Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow's part of the story, you will never recover from it.

And that's that. I probably should've saved this post for tomorrow so I wouldn't have to think of a new topic but... eh, this is what I do for you! This is what I do!

And now you know...

...and knowing is half the battle.

HULKAMANIA!

With all the talk about Iron Man, the new Hulk movie is getting overlooked. There's a lot of... discussion... in the air about this one as Ed Norton is being Ed Norton when it comes to the creative side of the coin.

But... well, this doesn't look too shabby...

Check out Trailer #2 - it's the one that hit the Interweb today.

There Will Be Blood

Whew, the unemployment line is filled with NBA coaches today.

Early breaking word this morning has both Mike D'Antoni and Avery Johnson getting shown the door by their respective franchises.

I can't say that either is a huge surprise but let's take a closer look.

Avery Johnson's days have been numbered for a while. It's been no secret that Mark Cuban has blamed him for the Mavs failures for some time and when Cuban went out and got Jason Kidd for the team and they _still_ couldn't win? You knew someone had to pay the piper for it. It's a tough situation though as the Mavs probably weren't going to beat the Hornets anyways. It's not Kidd's fault that he's old, past his prime, and unable to win in the clutch - okay, well, maybe it is his fault. But it's definitely not Avery Johnson's fault. AJ seemed like a perfectly fine coach to me who was put in an unwinnable scenario. He's sure to catch on somewhere else without much trouble, I'd imagine.

Mike D'Antoni is a bit of a sadder situation. As much as I dislike the guy's on-court histrionics, you can not deny that he instilled a system in Phoenix that for several years made them one of the most successful [and most popular] teams in the league. Sure, he didn't win a championship but not many coaches do. Few people assumed this would be a win-or-you're-out season for D'Antoni but the final nail in his coffin came with the Shaquille O'Neal trade. As much as I don't understand the trade, I understand the trade. On the surface, you question why they would do a deal that would basically cripple the run-and-gun offense that made them successful. They are infamous for getting their shot up within 7 seconds on the shot clock but it takes Shaq 7 seconds to reach the free throw line... on the defensive end of the floor! Of course they weren't going to be able to run-and-gun anymore... but the "realists" pointed out at the time that run-and-gun hadn't won them a title so maybe it was time for a change. You just can't expect a team to change that much in mid-season though. They were designed to run-and-gun and you tied an anchor to their ankle... and crippled the team's future in the process.

So, D'Antoni will be the fall guy because you can't spend that much money on a center, have that big trade publicized so much, and then only manage a weak one victory in the postseason. It's not fair at all to him since it's the Big Cactus that really hurt them but... well, so it goes.

I fully expect George Karl will be the next head to roll.

And don't even ask me to comment on Larry Brown deciding to coach the Bobcats. Unbelievable.

In closing, I would like to take credit for all of these moves [except Brown] on behalf of Mitch Kupchak. He set these dominoes a-tumblin' with the Pau Gasol deal which forced the Western Conference rivals to go out and try to make a big move to compete.

Well, so far, those moves to compete have earned their teams a first round postseason exit and a fired coach.

So it goes.

News And Reaction: Entertainment Edition

NEWS: Guillermo Del Toro inks to direct Hobbit + a surprise
REACTION: I suppose this is a good thing. I don't know that I've seen anything by GDT other than Hellboy [which I enjoyed despite never reading the comics.] Pan's Labyrinth sits unwatched on my DVD shelf still but it looked amazing from the trailers and was a movie I was very stoked about seeing when it came out... just... never... quite did it! Annnnyways, I'm disappointed that Jackson's not directing this himself but he's producing so I'm hoping he has his fingers deep enough in the pie to keep it from going off the tracks. In a bit of a surprise, it was announced that GDT wouldn't just be doing The Hobbit... nor would The Hobbit be split into two movies as was rumored... but rather, he will also be doing a movie that will serve as a "bridge" between The Hobbit and LOTR. That's dangerous ground to tread and I wish him all the luck needed to pull it off. Oh, and to cap it off, he's already saying all the right things by saying he will not recast any role from the original trilogy if the actor is willing and able to be in either the Hobbit or The Bridge.

NEWS: Iron Man early reviews are mixed
REACTION: Fuck that noise. Favreau is money, baby.

NEWS: Seven people were injured Saturday in a collision between a bus and several cars during the filming of G.I. Joe in the center of Prague, reports the AFP.
REACTION: They're blaming braking problems. I'm guessing Scarlett got behind the wheel in her invisible suit, slipped on Destro's mask, and got her mind taken over by nanobites. Happens all the time.

NEWS: Jackman looking at Batman Begins for inspiration for Wolverine
REACTION: Correction. The title of the movie is currently "X-Men Origins: Wolverine."

...

I fucking hate people. That's really the name of it? I just really fucking hate people.

Sigh.

Well, the story is that Jackman says the flick will be dark, damn dark... and that it'll be close in tone to Batman Begins. That's a good thing and an appropriate thing... if they can pull it off. After the debacle that was the third X flick, I give these fuckers no benefit of the doubt until they earn it.

The story ends with Jackman saying he feels like he could do 10 or 11 more Wolvie movies right now. Let's just hope the first one is good enough for people to want to see another one before we get all crazy-like!

Alright, that's it for today. But if you made it this far, you deserve a bonus!

By request...

It's always nice to be able to fulfill a request for a topic, right? Right!

So, how about the weekend the Dodgers had?

In case you were in baseball seclusion soaking up the insanity of the NBA Playoffs this past weekend, here's a sample of the bizarre weekend series the Rockies and Dodgers had.

*** The never-ending saga of Nomar Garciaparra and his on-again/off-again torrid love affair with the disabled list continued when he strained a calf muscle in the ninth inning, the same injury that ended his season early last year. While it's sad and/or frustrating to see him go down injured again after just getting off the DL, well... it's Nomar... so what did you expect really? But the two things that resulted because of this injury were far more interesting.

1] Rookie Blake DeWitt was sent down to AAA on Thursday so that he could get regular playing time. His "minutes" had dropped drastically since the return of Nomar from the DL [the first time] so they sent him down to get him steady work. He played on Friday for the Las Vegas 51s, the Dodgers' AAA affiliate. After the game, the 51s gathered in their lounge to watch the big club's game. When Nomar went down, the 51s manager advised DeWitt to hang around and sure enough, the call came. After a less than 24 hour stint back in AAA, the rookie was on his way back to The Show. I love this game.

2] When DeWitt was sent down to AAA, legendary Dodger announcer Vin Scully had speculated several times on the "nightmare scenario." With DeWitt back in AAA, the Dodgers really didn't have a backup 3B if Nomar happened to go down. And since this is Dodgers baseball, you could be almost certain that it would happen. And when it did, what did Joe Torre do to earn his high salary? He walked up to Catcher Russell Martin and asked him what IF position he could play. Thus, Dodger fans got the bizarre sight of Russell Martin in the dugout frantically trying to find a 3B mitt before taking the position for the first time since A ball. As a side note to this, Martin leaving his normal position brought in Dodger backup catcher Gary Bennett... who promptly just flat out missed the first pitch thrown to him, bringing the tying run across the plate and sending the game to extra innings. And to top it all off, Third Baseman Russell Martin got the sac fly in the 13th to give the Dodgers the win.

** With a game like that on Friday night, it couldn't get much weirder on Saturday, right? Well, as Vin Scully would say, "before the seats were warm" the Dodgers erupted for a 10 run bottom of the first inning including the first ever career Grand Slam for Matt Kemp.

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!

Check out what else happened in this game [and get to see the Slam as well.]



Crazy, right? The guy's okay so we can all laugh about it now. Well, maybe not... but sweet Jesus, that must have hurt.

** Okay, so a crazy Friday... a weird Saturday... Sunday must have been normal, right?

WRONG!

WE'RE GOING BACK TO EXTRA INNINGS!

But the Dodgers won on a James Loney seeing-eye single in the 10th to give them their first sweep of the year and their first three-game win streak.

It's been a long and painful April for the Dodgers but they're oh-so-close to coming out of it in second place and over .500. Keep it up, boys! It's a marathon, not a sprint.

For The Disney Meets Coen Fan In All Of Us

They'll Fight For Freedom Wherever There's Trouble... Invisible Apparently

I tried, guys... you know I tried.

This morning before I start the arduous task of painting our kitchen, I wanted to find some good news about the G.I. Joe movie to share. I feel like I've been in the harbinger of sorrow for that flick for weeks now and it really is/was a movie that I was greatly looking forward to. There had to be some info out there somewhere to make me enthused, right?

Not so much as it turns out.

A site called Firstshowing.net posted their This Is Why You Should Be Excited About the G.I. Joe Movie based off of details from the latest script review. Let's see if I agree.

*** Accelerator Suits - These allow the G.I. Joe squad to "run faster, jump super-high, smash through walls, and shrug off bullets."

Huh? Why, exactly? Did I miss that special edition of G.I. Joe issue #100 where they all became Universal Soldiers with Van Damme and Bill Goldberg? This does not excite me. The Joes were average people with extraordinary abilities. They were not bit by radioactive spiders.

*** Nano-Bombs - A bomb that Cobra Commander is developing that launches a swarm of nanites that eat all non-organic material in the surrounding area including buildings and machinery but none of the people.

I guess this could be kinda cool. It'll be a visually cool scene at least, I'd imagine.

*** Neo-Vipers - A legion of ninja-like super-soldiers that are controlled by Destro that have been enhanced by nanotechnology to not feel any pain or remorse. They were created by a "mad scientist" known as the Doctor. Check out some photos of the old Neo-Viper figures here.

Sigh. Boy, they really like the nano technology stuff, I guess. If the "Doctor" is Dr. Mindbender or Dr. Venom, I lend my tentative support to this plan. Carry on.

*** Destro's Mask - Also created by the same Doctor is a mask made of nanites that Destro wears because his face is disfigured after a fight. This gives Cobra the ability to control his mind.

Boy, they _really_ like the nano technology stuff. I'm SO not enthused by this one. What was wrong with Destro being an international arms dealer who wears the mask out of family tradition because he has a warped sense of honor? Is that really such a difficult character to wrap your brain around? And mind control? Crikey, if you're gonna do mind control - I've got two words for ya - DR. VENOM AND THE FRIGGIN' BRAIN WAVE SCANNER! That might be more than two words.

*** Scarlett's Armor - You've already seen the photo, but apparently that armor allows her to become completely invisible for her missions, or so they say…

Sigh. This is a good thing? Really? I hope on August 9th, 2009, I can eat my words but right now Larry Hama looks like the biggest sell-out ever, brought in to feed the fans lines of crap about how the true fans will enjoy this movie while taking his check to the bank every week and knowing damn well the fans are going to shit a solid gold brick when they see Scarlett turn invisible to fight NANO NINJAS!

Top 5 Friday: Laker Love

In keeping with this week's theme of Laker Love and in anticipation of Game 3 tomorrow in Denver, I thought I'd toss in a Top 5 Friday with a bit of a twist. A couple days ago, another blog posted their "Top 10 Reasons I Hate Laker Fans." So, in response to that BITCH ASS SUCKA Nuggets Fan, I will give his post a little free pub and respond to each accusation:

The Top 10 Reasons Some BITCH ASS SUCKA Nuggets Fan Hates Laker Fans And Why He's Wrong [On Most Of Them!]

DISCLAIMER: I will make distinctions between "types" of Laker fans throughout this post and you should to!

10. Half The Courtside Seats Are Empty In The First And Third Quarters Of Every Game
So, right off the bat, I draw the distinction. The lower bowl of Staples Center can not be considered your average Laker fan. These are mostly people who pay astronomical ticket prices to see [sometimes] and be seen. You should not consider their actions to be standard for "real" Laker fans. Take a look at the upper bowl of Staples and the rabid fans up there before you blast Laker fans as a whole for this. By the way, the Nuggets had 90.9% attendance for the year, ranking 17th in the league. The Lakers had 98.5% ranking 11th. Suck it, monkeys!

9. They're Incapable Of Acknowledging A Bad Trade When It Happens
Are you fucking serious? Go check out Lakerground.net when a trade is about to go down or right after it happens. Mitch Kupchak was nearly hanged by his testicles from the banners at Staples until this year. Again, the distinction. I'm not talking about your typical Laker "fan" who breaks out their car flag as soon as the playoffs start. I'm talking about your "real" Laker fan who follows the team from buzzer to buzzer.

8. They Act Like The Entire League Is Obligated To Ensure The Lakers Success, And Thus Every Team Should Be Trading Their Best Players To The Lakers For Pennies On The Dollar
And to "prove" his point, he brings up some completely inane example of Laker fans being upset when Minnesota wouldn't accept an offer of Odom, Turiaf, and a 1st for Garnett. I don't recall that, sucka. However, I _do_ recall Laker fans being upset when an offer of Odom, Bynum, Kwame, and change got rejected for the Celtics offer by ETERNAL Laker hater Kevin McHale. To the original "point," I bring up the fact that "real" Laker fans knew that the Lakers didn't have much to deal with and were dealing from a weak hand. And "real" Laker fans also know that most teams playa hate the Lakers and wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire to help them. Which is what makes the Gasol deal even more amazingly cool. I'm not sure how Nugs Fan got this so wrong... although I'll guess crazed psychotic madness at having to drink some weak-ass near beer might be a factor.

7. LA Radio "Personality" Vic "The Brick" Jacobs
I have no defense. Point given.

6. Seats That Should Go To Real Basketball Fans Are Instead Occupied By Wives, Girlfriends, and Escorts
Really? This is why you hate Laker fans? Shouldn't this be why you hate Laker management? Or society in general? Isn't it the case through most of sports that the true fans are stuck in the nosebleeds while the rich fat cats enjoy the sweat zone in their designer suits while trying to look cool? To counter, I suggest that the reason I hate Nuggets Fans is because the seats on the bench that should go to real basketball fans are instead occupied by gang-bangers, thugs, and crybabies. That sound fair?

5. They're The Biggest Bandwagon Fans In The Country And Only Support The Lakers When The Team Is Really, Really, Really Good."
To this, I counter with two points. Firstly, I openly admit that the Lakers do tend to draw a large number of bandwagon fans. What winning team doesn't though? The true fans stay win or lose, thick or thin, No-Kwame or Kwame. Secondly?

Nuggets Attendance For The Past Five Years
***
2007-8: 90.9%
2006-7: 90.2%
2005-6: 89.7%
2004-5: 92.5%
2003-4: 92.1%

Lakers Attendance For The Past Five Years
***
2007-8: 98.5%
2006-7: 99.6%
2005-5: 99.1%
2004-5: 98.6%
2003-4: 99.5%

More fans - no matter what the record. Hrmm.

4. 85% Of Them Aren't From Los Angeles And, Like Newcomers To Scientology, These Non-Native Lakers "Fan" Converts Are Young, Impressionable, And Gullible.
...

And that's your number four?

Can't wait for number three!

3. Now That He's Out Of Town, They Pretend Like They Never Liked Shaquille O'Neal In The First Place.
Riiiiiight. You must have missed the period of time where everyone lamented Shaq being gone even through his scorched earth campaign. There's not a soul among true Laker fans who don't appreciate what Shaq did while he was here... they just don't like the way he left town. But you can bet when he finally retires and that jersey goes up in the rafters, there won't be a dry eye in the house.

2. They Unmercifully Defend Kobe Bryant
Again, are you fucking serious? What fan doesn't defend the centerpiece of their favorite team? What are you complaining about us defending him for?

"Whether he’s throwing his teammates like Shaq or Andrew Bynum under the bus..."

Shaq did plenty of backing that bus all over Kobe before he left town. The one time Kobe replied gets him crucified by the uninformed. The Bynum thing was out of line but everyone makes mistakes. He got his heat for it during the offseason and early in the year but we can't all root for perfect angels like "Thug Life" Allen Iverson.

"...clobbering white defenders after jump shots"

I had to read this a few times to see if I saw it right. White defenders? He doesn't clobber any other defenders? Just the white ones. Damn that Kobe Bryant. He is one racist son of a bitch.

"regularly spouting profanity-laced tirades at the referees for all the six year olds within earshot to hear"

Oh... my... god. Someone is reaching now. Well, he was reaching before... but now he looks like Reed Richards.

"(allegedly) forcing himself sexually onto a female hotel worker in Colorado and subsequently paying her -- and his wife -- off"

Mr. Richards, can you touch the top of the backboard with that reach? I do like the insertion of "allegedly" in there though. It's almost as if you believe in the American legal process!

"Throwing public hissy fits to get himself traded"

Really? Did you miss a very large majority of Laker fans giving him grief for those very trade demands? Did you somehow witness us all falling over each other to point out how right he was?

The rest of that "point" reveals this is really just a smokescreen for someone pissed about the "DUI" chants from last Sunday. I already stated that I didn't think they were needed so I'm not going to argue against that... but man, you get ugly when trying to make that point. You would have thought Kobe (allegedly) bent your mother over a hotel room chair.

1. They're In Myopic Denial Of The Favoritsm The Lakers Receive From The NBA.
God, I wish I had an emoticon for me rolling around laughing my ass off at you poor, poor soul. But I guess in a way, this "point" is almost a good thing. It means that the world is almost back to normal because opposing teams fans are starting to call favortism and invoking the Roman emperor David Stern's thumb down at playoff time once more.

Hey, if it makes you feel better about being down 2-0, rock on with yo' bad self.

Let's look at some of this favoritism the Lakers are getting from the league, shall we?

"Since the Lakers can’t be bothered to play on Saturdays, they never have to play a back-to-back at the end of week…typically the most grueling games on the schedule."

Good lord, you're right! The Lakers should be forced to forfeit immediately!

Oooh, the next one is about refereeing. Of course it is. The Lakers always get all the calls in "supremely important games." Yawn.

And you cry about Stern wishing the Finals were the Lakers vs the Lakers? I wonder why he would say that.

Oh, I guess it's because the Lakers draw the ratings. Or to make it more simple for you... Purple And Gold = Green!

But it's okay. I'm sure some day the Commish would love to see a team make the finals whose two star players manage to:

A] Get busted for a DUI on the eve of the playoffs. Awesome!
B] Get kicked out of a close playoff game for two consecutive techs for arguing a play he wasn't even involved in.

I can't imagine why the world's not waiting for the Denver Nuggets to make the Finals.

Good luck tomorrow, good sir.

I'll be waiting to see what kind of wicked favortism Chancellor Stern invokes to secure the sweep for the league's [purple and] golden children.

Crikey!

Just saw this and had to share with the class. I soooooooo can't wait.

Conflict of Loyalties

It's always a difficult time of year for me in April/May. The Dodgers are off to the start of another season... as ugly as of a start as it's been so far. The Lakers are starting their [hopefully] lengthy playoff run. Sometimes it creates quite the conflict of loyalties.

And so was the situation last night.

A few weeks ago, one of the sis-in-laws gifted a pair of tickets to last night's Dodgers game. They were Field level and looked to be pretty good seats so we were pretty stoked about making the mid-week trek up to Chavez Ravine...

...until Sunday when I realized that Laker Playoff Game 2 fell on the same night.

There was no question we were going to the Dodger game but it still stung. I DVRd the Lakers in hopes that I could avoid a final score before getting home. Tiiiiiiiime was on my side it appeared as the Dodger game started a half hour before the Lakers, meaning if the Dodgers wrapped things up in about three hours, I should be able to avoid a final score before leaving the stadium.

When I heard someone on the phone say, "No shit? Kobe has twenty in the first quarter?" I smiled... but cringed that I was getting details that I didn't want. I stopped checking my text messages because my friends are all evil sumbitches who would like nothing more than to spoil the Laker game inadvertently or no for me.

A while later, the Diamondvision lit up with, "NBA Playoffs: Down The Road At Staples!" I covered my ears and closed my eyes... but it didn't drown out the massive cheer, the chants of "SWEEP!" and "M-V-P!" I assumed the Lakers were winning but didn't pursue any details, still hopeful that time would ultimately be my ally.

But as the game went on, I got nervous. The game was simply taking too long. I kept checking the clock. Somewhere in the eighth, I told the Missus that they would show a final score before the Top of the 9th... I knew it.

And sure enough, they did. And no amount of eye-closing or ear-covering could drown out the roar of the Dodger Stadium crowd. I knew the Lakers had won... but it was just a question of by how much and how they played.

When we got home, we watched the first quarter with interest... then took turns falling asleep and missing most of the second. I watched the second half this morning.

Good offense. Bad Defense. Great Kobe. That about sums it up.

14 more. Purple and gold, baby.

Alright. That's enough for ya. I'm watching the Dodgers before Lost starts.

Game on!

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OHHHH LAKER FANS!

Game One was an amazing afternoon at Staples. We got downtown early as we haven't been to a game in a year or two and wanted some time to check out the Team LA store and just enjoy the day.

The downtown area is rapidly changing with new buildings being put up [our old parking lot was gone!] and old buildings being renovated to look damn spiffy. They still have a long way to go to get the area to a place where your average person would be cool walking down the street when there's not a game going on but... it's progress.

Staples looked awesome with purple and gold balloons by the entrance way. People were gathering around the Magic Johnson statue to take photos before the game including yours truly. After making our way inside, we stopped at the Team LA Store to check out the latest merch... along with every other member of Laker Nation it seemed. The place was PACKED to the roof with Laker fans already decked out in Laker gear looking to scoop up more. I saw a few things that I wanted but they were sold out in my size. The Missus did pick up a new Laker shirt though.

We made our way towards the escalators to get up to our seats. Upstairs, they had decorated the pillars along the walkway so I stopped to get a word of advice from the Zenmaster. Or maybe I was giving him some sound advice on taking advantage of the Nuggets' porous defense? You will never know!

We made our way through the concourse where they were offering free purple and gold hair dye and facepaint to anyone interested - a table that was JAMMED by the way. I chose not to partake as I had a funeral to attend yesterday and couldn't afford to have purple and gold hair dye not come out... yeah, that's why... not because I'm not a face painter. Let's go with that.

Inside the arena, the place was looking awesome. As mentioned previously, our seats were literally in the last row of the building right next to the retired jerseys and the banners. But Staples was designed to go up and not out so really, I've never had a bad seat for a game there. For $12 a seat, this was a perfect seat for me. The place slowly filled through the morning as the Lakers ran various hype videos on the big screen. One thing to note that I love about Staples is the out-of-town scoreboard also shows scores from other sports so I could keep an eye on the Dodger game during timeouts and the like. The Dodgers should take a cue on their boards because there are a ton of Laker fans in LA who would like to be able to keep an eye on the team during the Dodger games.

Couple shots from shootaround...


You already know most of my in-game thoughts from the Live Blog. Pau was amazing, Kobe did his part but for me, the real MVP of that game was Lamar Odom. He was absolutely everywhere in that game. He was dishing assists, he was scoring for himself, he was pulling down boards, he was playing D, he was hustling for loose balls. The team looked great for most of the game except for a few stints where they got sloppy.

The big controversy of the night I guess was the "DUI" chant. For the record, I didn't participate in it but I found it slightly amusing. The first time it happened, I thought it was funny. The other times? It got less and less amusing. By the end, I felt pretty bad for him though. Laker fans hated it when Kobe drew chants like that during his legal trouble so I would think they would feel some empathy for another player getting heat for his off-the-court actions. And if that's not enough, personally I wouldn't want to piss Carmelo off since he's perfectly capable of dropping a big game on us if he gets motivated. There's already talk on the Laker boards that the Nuggets fans are considering a chant in reply to point out Kobe's past problem... something that I think will end very badly for them but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Most of the in-game photos aren't worth posting since they're from so far away but I did catch some nice videos that I might put up later. They're big files so I don't feel like waiting right now.

After the game, we made our way out to Chick Hearn Drive where the post-game showing of Lakers Live was taking place with a ton of screaming Laker fans. We joined in, possibly getting on camera a couple of times as the camera panned the crowd. James Worthy came out on the outside deck above the crowd and waved a few times to a big cheer. And after a few more photos, we called it a day.

Big first win for the Lakers. Fifteen more to go, Laker fans!

UFC Picks Results

Let's take a look, shall we?

Going in to Saturday night...

28 out of 49 for the year for .571
Moneywise - $126.50 for the year

And after?
I went 7 out of 11 for the show with a loss of -$50. Going 0 for 2 on the two main events really hurt me moneywise.

So, for the year...

35 out of 60 for .583 - still room for improvement
Moneywise - I'm still up $76.50 for the year

Be back later today with some Laker Game 1 thoughts and photos!

It's The Brain Pain, Coach

Just got home from a very long day. Woke up at 5 AM to pick up my Mom and take her to my Great Aunt's funeral up in Ventura. Just got home finally.

Too, too tired to think.

A sleepy gift from me to you in the form of one of my favorite TV moments ever.

You get Hoynes!



Be back tomorrow with UFC Picks Results and hopefully some actually quality photos from the Laker game.

15 more wins!

And we get to hang another one of these
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Heading for the 4th

BIG third quarter to take a 19 point lead. Keep it up

Guy is shooting a half courter for 230 thousand. Airballed badly. The ball landed around the top of the key. He missed a banked 3 for a two night stay at the Mirage too

Here comes the fourth! Go Lakers!
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At the half

Nice last 5 min of the half keeps the game close. Keys for the Lakers is tight D and good execution on offense. Don't fall in love with 3 and keep the ball moving in on the soft Denver D.

Halftime entertainment is some Russian acrobats that are pretty cool.

Looks like the Dodgers are losing again. Getting swept by Atl doesn't make me happy so I'm glad I have the Lakers to focus on while the Dodgers get out of their funk.
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