In honor of the first interleague weekend of the season with the Dodgers and Angels squaring off tonight... and in "tribute" to all those Angel fans out there that just love to rub in when the Dodgers lose... I present a very special Top Five Friday... in fact, let's do an EXTENDED EDITION because there's just so many reasons why we all hate the Angels together!
Top Ten Reasons Why It's Better To Be A Dodger Fan Than An Angel Fan10. The Rally Monkey 
Is there a mascot in all of sports more embarrassing to claim than the Rally Monkey? Some stupid f'n monkey that jumps up and down when the team is trying to rally from behind? Seriously? Every time I see that damn monkey, I wish it was the one from that infamous scene in Faces Of Death that gets it skull bashed open with a mallet. Remember all those stories in the 80s about AIDS coming to America from a monkey? I have seen the truth and the Rally Monkey brought AIDS to America. It's true. Reverend Wright told me so. And don't you Angel defenders say a damn word about the Dodgers gnome cause the gnome will kick the Monkey's ass every day of the week and twice on Sunday, daddy!
9. The only successful manager in Angels history is an ex-Dodger 
The greatest move the Angels front office made was snatching Mike Scioscia out from under the Dodgers control because he was [rightfully] bitter that he didn't get the Dodgers job. In fact, the whole coaching staff is filled with ex-Dodgers - Alfredo Griffin, Mickey Hatcher, Ron Roenicke, Dino Ebel... you name it, they were all in Dodger Blue! And the "shocking" [to the AL] small ball approach that they take from time to time? Straight out of Branch Rickey's "The Dodger Way To Play Baseball!" But don't worry, Dodger fans, I guarantee the day will come when Soc looks down at the front of his jersey, feels pretty sick, and comes running home. Book it!
8. CHEAP SHOT ALERT: No Dodger relief pitcher ever killed himself Yes, I admit it's a cheap shot. But come on... your team is so pathetic that the mere idea that you failed to get the out that would put them in the World Series forces you to become so depressed that you kill yourself? I guess we're lucky he didn't go through a sex change operation, become a police officer, and kidnap both the Rally Monkey and Vladimir Guerrero. Laces out, Donnie Moore. Laces out.
7. Our owner is better 
That's right. I said it, I meant it, I'm here to represent it. Cue all the McCourt haterz saying how the Dodgers lost out on Vlad because of McCourt, cue the parking lot attendant jokes, cue the lack of money jokes. But we're the ones sitting in what is season-by-season essentially becoming a new stadium on the inside. We're the ones that have never had our stadium named after an energy company [and then embarassingly had that naming right revoked by the company holding it.] McCourt may not be the richest owner in baseball but I've never heard the Dodgers have to back off a player because the dollars didn't work out. The stadium is intact and wasn't razed to build condos. And every time you turn around, you hear a new story about McCourt doing something good for the community or the fans. Arte Moreno? He lowered the price of beer and left a giant pile of rocks in the outfield. Wooo! Go Angels! Oh, there is one other thing that Mr. Moreno's done which brings us to...
6. Our team actually wants to play in the city they're in 
What a slap in the face that whole debacle should have been to Angels fans. But instead, they licked it up like a stray cat and kept running through the turnstyles. The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim? Even the city of Anaheim sued over it! Moreno wants the fans of Los Angeles so badly, he was willing to spit on their existing fanbase to make it so. By the way, Arte, the fans of Los Angeles don't want you either. Your actions would have Gene Autry rolling over in his grave. Speaking of which...
5. The Angels couldn't even win it for the Cowboy 
Poor Gene Autry. He owned the wretched team for 38 years. 38 years! That's almost unheard of today in sports but he suffered through years of horrid teams and "oh-so-close" moments. Hell, even _he_ didn't kill himself after '86! If an owner deserved to win something for years of futility, it was the Cowboy but nooooo... the Angels couldn't be bothered to win until Disney ran the ship. At least they had the good sense to trot out Mrs. Autry during their celebration. By the way, I bet the Cowboy would have dragged the Rally Monkey out in the streets and stomped a mudhole in its' ass and walked it dry.
4. The Dodgers' history When you compare the histories of the two teams, there's just no question. I mean... seriously... you've got the Dodgers with names like Drysdale, Koufax, Hodges, Campanella, Podres, Wills, Garvey, Cey, Baker... I could go on for days, you know. The Dodgers broke the color barrier with Jackie Robinson. The Dodgers have history and a legacy to die for. The Angels? Umm... well, I guess they had Reggie Jackson for a while. Nolan Ryan. Anything else? That fucker Bobby Grich that spiked Steve Sax during the Freeway Series in '86.
3. The stadium 
Seriously? Can we even compare the two? Dodger Stadium is a treasure of baseball, something to be held up next to Wrigley and Fenway... and it looks better than ever thanks to the McCourts. Angel Stadium? Well, it's got a pile of rocks in the outfield. They have some nice food places... well, if they're not overrun by rats and bugs and lord knows what else like the Health Department shared with the class last year. Oh, people like to point out that they allow tailgating. I would let people drink in the parking lot too if I was going to make them watch the Angels play. They do have that hideous eyesore in the parking lot to make sure the idiots coming to the stadium know they're at the right place. And if you need one thing to make sure the Dodgers win this category hands down... The Dodger Dog.
2. Angel Fans? What are those? One of the best reasons to be a Dodger fan and not an Angel fan is when it comes right down to it, true Angel fans don't really exist. I'll grant that there are a few... a very small few. But they're not the season ticket holders who decided it was a good idea to sell tickets to the playoff series with the Red Sox... TO RED SOX FANS! They're not the people who were in the stadium when I went to an Angel/Sox game last season and heard a "LET'S GO RED SOX!" chant fill the stadium without the Angel fans saying a single thing. Try that at Dodger Stadium and see how it works out for you. I still believe that if given an Angel trivia contest, odds are high I might beat nine out of ten people in that stadium on any given night. Figure out who Brian Downing, Doug DeCinces, Rod Carew, and the like are... then come talk to me.
And the #1 reason to be a Dodger fan over an Angel fan...
Ahhhh. It's nice that when one of your World Championship trophies gets bored, he's got a few friends to talk to. The Angels World Championship trophy... well, let's just say it's feeling awfully lonely down in the Los Angeles of Anaheim.
Game, set, match. Point. Blue. Game over. End of game.