COOOOOBRAAAAAA!

So, it's been a while since I've lived up to my unofficial title as the unofficial keeper and bearer of all tidings G.I. Joe movie related.

Tonight, I break that slump.

The MTV Movies Blog - a surprisingly decent source of movie scoops - had an article up today talking about Cobra Commander and what we can expect to see out of this notorious villain when he hits the silver screen next year. Here's a few excerpts I found interesting:

Producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura on CC's origin:

“As we see it, he’s a very twisted character. As the backstory evolves, you discover why his personality [is like that]. I thought what was great in ‘The Dark Knight’ was that Heath kept telling you different stories [about his past] so you never knew what it was, and they were all spooky and crazy. [In our film] you get to see it, and you get to understand what’s happened to this guy.”

Blah. What he kinda fails to see in this comparison is that the fact that we didn't ever find out The Joker's true origin story is what made it so cool. It was that sense of mystery and intrigue that added to the enjoyment of it because we knew he was fucked up - we just didn't know why. The same likely should hold true for Cobra Commander. He's an evil psychopath with an army of terrorists at his disposal - do we really need to know why? Especially since it's going to tie in with this backstory they've created about CC and Duke being former BFFs.

Bonaventura on the voice:

While it won’t exactly match the classic high-pitched wail from the show, the producer says Gordon-Levitt will leave his own vocal stamp on Cobra Commander. “He has an interesting voice. He definitely has a take-off on that. I actually found the voice a little weak in the show…I’m sure I’ll get killed for saying that. I don’t know, it always seemed kind of silly. Hopefully we’re going to be a little more menacing.”

Blah. Okay, okay - the cartoon voice is over the top. It was supposed to be. I get the point of trying to make it more menacing. That's fine. But do you really want to start insulting the source material when most fans already think you're planning to drop a giant deuce right on top of it anyways?

And lastly - and most frightening - the mask:

“We’ll see Cobra Commander in the Cobra mask [but] it will not be like the show,” said di Bonaventura, who also promised they aren’t going to the comics for that one either. “I found some of the [mask] aspects a little KKK for me,” he said, “so we tried to steer away from that image. We thought that might be a little much.”

Blah. This guy's a fucking toolbox. It's too KKK? Are you serious? A blue mask with a cobra symbol on it? By the way, that guy under the mask is a terrorist bent on world domination - not the elimination of Roadblock and Stalker. So, no fabric mask. No helmet mask. They made their own mask is what they're trying to break gently to us.

And that's that. Once again, another set of news about the G.I. Joe movie that I just can't find a way to look positively on. I soooooo hope I'm wrong but I'm worried still.