They'll Fight For Freedom Wherever There's Trouble... Invisible Apparently

I tried, guys... you know I tried.

This morning before I start the arduous task of painting our kitchen, I wanted to find some good news about the G.I. Joe movie to share. I feel like I've been in the harbinger of sorrow for that flick for weeks now and it really is/was a movie that I was greatly looking forward to. There had to be some info out there somewhere to make me enthused, right?

Not so much as it turns out.

A site called Firstshowing.net posted their This Is Why You Should Be Excited About the G.I. Joe Movie based off of details from the latest script review. Let's see if I agree.

*** Accelerator Suits - These allow the G.I. Joe squad to "run faster, jump super-high, smash through walls, and shrug off bullets."

Huh? Why, exactly? Did I miss that special edition of G.I. Joe issue #100 where they all became Universal Soldiers with Van Damme and Bill Goldberg? This does not excite me. The Joes were average people with extraordinary abilities. They were not bit by radioactive spiders.

*** Nano-Bombs - A bomb that Cobra Commander is developing that launches a swarm of nanites that eat all non-organic material in the surrounding area including buildings and machinery but none of the people.

I guess this could be kinda cool. It'll be a visually cool scene at least, I'd imagine.

*** Neo-Vipers - A legion of ninja-like super-soldiers that are controlled by Destro that have been enhanced by nanotechnology to not feel any pain or remorse. They were created by a "mad scientist" known as the Doctor. Check out some photos of the old Neo-Viper figures here.

Sigh. Boy, they really like the nano technology stuff, I guess. If the "Doctor" is Dr. Mindbender or Dr. Venom, I lend my tentative support to this plan. Carry on.

*** Destro's Mask - Also created by the same Doctor is a mask made of nanites that Destro wears because his face is disfigured after a fight. This gives Cobra the ability to control his mind.

Boy, they _really_ like the nano technology stuff. I'm SO not enthused by this one. What was wrong with Destro being an international arms dealer who wears the mask out of family tradition because he has a warped sense of honor? Is that really such a difficult character to wrap your brain around? And mind control? Crikey, if you're gonna do mind control - I've got two words for ya - DR. VENOM AND THE FRIGGIN' BRAIN WAVE SCANNER! That might be more than two words.

*** Scarlett's Armor - You've already seen the photo, but apparently that armor allows her to become completely invisible for her missions, or so they say…

Sigh. This is a good thing? Really? I hope on August 9th, 2009, I can eat my words but right now Larry Hama looks like the biggest sell-out ever, brought in to feed the fans lines of crap about how the true fans will enjoy this movie while taking his check to the bank every week and knowing damn well the fans are going to shit a solid gold brick when they see Scarlett turn invisible to fight NANO NINJAS!

Top 5 Friday: Laker Love

In keeping with this week's theme of Laker Love and in anticipation of Game 3 tomorrow in Denver, I thought I'd toss in a Top 5 Friday with a bit of a twist. A couple days ago, another blog posted their "Top 10 Reasons I Hate Laker Fans." So, in response to that BITCH ASS SUCKA Nuggets Fan, I will give his post a little free pub and respond to each accusation:

The Top 10 Reasons Some BITCH ASS SUCKA Nuggets Fan Hates Laker Fans And Why He's Wrong [On Most Of Them!]

DISCLAIMER: I will make distinctions between "types" of Laker fans throughout this post and you should to!

10. Half The Courtside Seats Are Empty In The First And Third Quarters Of Every Game
So, right off the bat, I draw the distinction. The lower bowl of Staples Center can not be considered your average Laker fan. These are mostly people who pay astronomical ticket prices to see [sometimes] and be seen. You should not consider their actions to be standard for "real" Laker fans. Take a look at the upper bowl of Staples and the rabid fans up there before you blast Laker fans as a whole for this. By the way, the Nuggets had 90.9% attendance for the year, ranking 17th in the league. The Lakers had 98.5% ranking 11th. Suck it, monkeys!

9. They're Incapable Of Acknowledging A Bad Trade When It Happens
Are you fucking serious? Go check out Lakerground.net when a trade is about to go down or right after it happens. Mitch Kupchak was nearly hanged by his testicles from the banners at Staples until this year. Again, the distinction. I'm not talking about your typical Laker "fan" who breaks out their car flag as soon as the playoffs start. I'm talking about your "real" Laker fan who follows the team from buzzer to buzzer.

8. They Act Like The Entire League Is Obligated To Ensure The Lakers Success, And Thus Every Team Should Be Trading Their Best Players To The Lakers For Pennies On The Dollar
And to "prove" his point, he brings up some completely inane example of Laker fans being upset when Minnesota wouldn't accept an offer of Odom, Turiaf, and a 1st for Garnett. I don't recall that, sucka. However, I _do_ recall Laker fans being upset when an offer of Odom, Bynum, Kwame, and change got rejected for the Celtics offer by ETERNAL Laker hater Kevin McHale. To the original "point," I bring up the fact that "real" Laker fans knew that the Lakers didn't have much to deal with and were dealing from a weak hand. And "real" Laker fans also know that most teams playa hate the Lakers and wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire to help them. Which is what makes the Gasol deal even more amazingly cool. I'm not sure how Nugs Fan got this so wrong... although I'll guess crazed psychotic madness at having to drink some weak-ass near beer might be a factor.

7. LA Radio "Personality" Vic "The Brick" Jacobs
I have no defense. Point given.

6. Seats That Should Go To Real Basketball Fans Are Instead Occupied By Wives, Girlfriends, and Escorts
Really? This is why you hate Laker fans? Shouldn't this be why you hate Laker management? Or society in general? Isn't it the case through most of sports that the true fans are stuck in the nosebleeds while the rich fat cats enjoy the sweat zone in their designer suits while trying to look cool? To counter, I suggest that the reason I hate Nuggets Fans is because the seats on the bench that should go to real basketball fans are instead occupied by gang-bangers, thugs, and crybabies. That sound fair?

5. They're The Biggest Bandwagon Fans In The Country And Only Support The Lakers When The Team Is Really, Really, Really Good."
To this, I counter with two points. Firstly, I openly admit that the Lakers do tend to draw a large number of bandwagon fans. What winning team doesn't though? The true fans stay win or lose, thick or thin, No-Kwame or Kwame. Secondly?

Nuggets Attendance For The Past Five Years
***
2007-8: 90.9%
2006-7: 90.2%
2005-6: 89.7%
2004-5: 92.5%
2003-4: 92.1%

Lakers Attendance For The Past Five Years
***
2007-8: 98.5%
2006-7: 99.6%
2005-5: 99.1%
2004-5: 98.6%
2003-4: 99.5%

More fans - no matter what the record. Hrmm.

4. 85% Of Them Aren't From Los Angeles And, Like Newcomers To Scientology, These Non-Native Lakers "Fan" Converts Are Young, Impressionable, And Gullible.
...

And that's your number four?

Can't wait for number three!

3. Now That He's Out Of Town, They Pretend Like They Never Liked Shaquille O'Neal In The First Place.
Riiiiiight. You must have missed the period of time where everyone lamented Shaq being gone even through his scorched earth campaign. There's not a soul among true Laker fans who don't appreciate what Shaq did while he was here... they just don't like the way he left town. But you can bet when he finally retires and that jersey goes up in the rafters, there won't be a dry eye in the house.

2. They Unmercifully Defend Kobe Bryant
Again, are you fucking serious? What fan doesn't defend the centerpiece of their favorite team? What are you complaining about us defending him for?

"Whether he’s throwing his teammates like Shaq or Andrew Bynum under the bus..."

Shaq did plenty of backing that bus all over Kobe before he left town. The one time Kobe replied gets him crucified by the uninformed. The Bynum thing was out of line but everyone makes mistakes. He got his heat for it during the offseason and early in the year but we can't all root for perfect angels like "Thug Life" Allen Iverson.

"...clobbering white defenders after jump shots"

I had to read this a few times to see if I saw it right. White defenders? He doesn't clobber any other defenders? Just the white ones. Damn that Kobe Bryant. He is one racist son of a bitch.

"regularly spouting profanity-laced tirades at the referees for all the six year olds within earshot to hear"

Oh... my... god. Someone is reaching now. Well, he was reaching before... but now he looks like Reed Richards.

"(allegedly) forcing himself sexually onto a female hotel worker in Colorado and subsequently paying her -- and his wife -- off"

Mr. Richards, can you touch the top of the backboard with that reach? I do like the insertion of "allegedly" in there though. It's almost as if you believe in the American legal process!

"Throwing public hissy fits to get himself traded"

Really? Did you miss a very large majority of Laker fans giving him grief for those very trade demands? Did you somehow witness us all falling over each other to point out how right he was?

The rest of that "point" reveals this is really just a smokescreen for someone pissed about the "DUI" chants from last Sunday. I already stated that I didn't think they were needed so I'm not going to argue against that... but man, you get ugly when trying to make that point. You would have thought Kobe (allegedly) bent your mother over a hotel room chair.

1. They're In Myopic Denial Of The Favoritsm The Lakers Receive From The NBA.
God, I wish I had an emoticon for me rolling around laughing my ass off at you poor, poor soul. But I guess in a way, this "point" is almost a good thing. It means that the world is almost back to normal because opposing teams fans are starting to call favortism and invoking the Roman emperor David Stern's thumb down at playoff time once more.

Hey, if it makes you feel better about being down 2-0, rock on with yo' bad self.

Let's look at some of this favoritism the Lakers are getting from the league, shall we?

"Since the Lakers can’t be bothered to play on Saturdays, they never have to play a back-to-back at the end of week…typically the most grueling games on the schedule."

Good lord, you're right! The Lakers should be forced to forfeit immediately!

Oooh, the next one is about refereeing. Of course it is. The Lakers always get all the calls in "supremely important games." Yawn.

And you cry about Stern wishing the Finals were the Lakers vs the Lakers? I wonder why he would say that.

Oh, I guess it's because the Lakers draw the ratings. Or to make it more simple for you... Purple And Gold = Green!

But it's okay. I'm sure some day the Commish would love to see a team make the finals whose two star players manage to:

A] Get busted for a DUI on the eve of the playoffs. Awesome!
B] Get kicked out of a close playoff game for two consecutive techs for arguing a play he wasn't even involved in.

I can't imagine why the world's not waiting for the Denver Nuggets to make the Finals.

Good luck tomorrow, good sir.

I'll be waiting to see what kind of wicked favortism Chancellor Stern invokes to secure the sweep for the league's [purple and] golden children.

Crikey!

Just saw this and had to share with the class. I soooooooo can't wait.

Conflict of Loyalties

It's always a difficult time of year for me in April/May. The Dodgers are off to the start of another season... as ugly as of a start as it's been so far. The Lakers are starting their [hopefully] lengthy playoff run. Sometimes it creates quite the conflict of loyalties.

And so was the situation last night.

A few weeks ago, one of the sis-in-laws gifted a pair of tickets to last night's Dodgers game. They were Field level and looked to be pretty good seats so we were pretty stoked about making the mid-week trek up to Chavez Ravine...

...until Sunday when I realized that Laker Playoff Game 2 fell on the same night.

There was no question we were going to the Dodger game but it still stung. I DVRd the Lakers in hopes that I could avoid a final score before getting home. Tiiiiiiiime was on my side it appeared as the Dodger game started a half hour before the Lakers, meaning if the Dodgers wrapped things up in about three hours, I should be able to avoid a final score before leaving the stadium.

When I heard someone on the phone say, "No shit? Kobe has twenty in the first quarter?" I smiled... but cringed that I was getting details that I didn't want. I stopped checking my text messages because my friends are all evil sumbitches who would like nothing more than to spoil the Laker game inadvertently or no for me.

A while later, the Diamondvision lit up with, "NBA Playoffs: Down The Road At Staples!" I covered my ears and closed my eyes... but it didn't drown out the massive cheer, the chants of "SWEEP!" and "M-V-P!" I assumed the Lakers were winning but didn't pursue any details, still hopeful that time would ultimately be my ally.

But as the game went on, I got nervous. The game was simply taking too long. I kept checking the clock. Somewhere in the eighth, I told the Missus that they would show a final score before the Top of the 9th... I knew it.

And sure enough, they did. And no amount of eye-closing or ear-covering could drown out the roar of the Dodger Stadium crowd. I knew the Lakers had won... but it was just a question of by how much and how they played.

When we got home, we watched the first quarter with interest... then took turns falling asleep and missing most of the second. I watched the second half this morning.

Good offense. Bad Defense. Great Kobe. That about sums it up.

14 more. Purple and gold, baby.

Alright. That's enough for ya. I'm watching the Dodgers before Lost starts.

Game on!

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

OHHHH LAKER FANS!

Game One was an amazing afternoon at Staples. We got downtown early as we haven't been to a game in a year or two and wanted some time to check out the Team LA store and just enjoy the day.

The downtown area is rapidly changing with new buildings being put up [our old parking lot was gone!] and old buildings being renovated to look damn spiffy. They still have a long way to go to get the area to a place where your average person would be cool walking down the street when there's not a game going on but... it's progress.

Staples looked awesome with purple and gold balloons by the entrance way. People were gathering around the Magic Johnson statue to take photos before the game including yours truly. After making our way inside, we stopped at the Team LA Store to check out the latest merch... along with every other member of Laker Nation it seemed. The place was PACKED to the roof with Laker fans already decked out in Laker gear looking to scoop up more. I saw a few things that I wanted but they were sold out in my size. The Missus did pick up a new Laker shirt though.

We made our way towards the escalators to get up to our seats. Upstairs, they had decorated the pillars along the walkway so I stopped to get a word of advice from the Zenmaster. Or maybe I was giving him some sound advice on taking advantage of the Nuggets' porous defense? You will never know!

We made our way through the concourse where they were offering free purple and gold hair dye and facepaint to anyone interested - a table that was JAMMED by the way. I chose not to partake as I had a funeral to attend yesterday and couldn't afford to have purple and gold hair dye not come out... yeah, that's why... not because I'm not a face painter. Let's go with that.

Inside the arena, the place was looking awesome. As mentioned previously, our seats were literally in the last row of the building right next to the retired jerseys and the banners. But Staples was designed to go up and not out so really, I've never had a bad seat for a game there. For $12 a seat, this was a perfect seat for me. The place slowly filled through the morning as the Lakers ran various hype videos on the big screen. One thing to note that I love about Staples is the out-of-town scoreboard also shows scores from other sports so I could keep an eye on the Dodger game during timeouts and the like. The Dodgers should take a cue on their boards because there are a ton of Laker fans in LA who would like to be able to keep an eye on the team during the Dodger games.

Couple shots from shootaround...


You already know most of my in-game thoughts from the Live Blog. Pau was amazing, Kobe did his part but for me, the real MVP of that game was Lamar Odom. He was absolutely everywhere in that game. He was dishing assists, he was scoring for himself, he was pulling down boards, he was playing D, he was hustling for loose balls. The team looked great for most of the game except for a few stints where they got sloppy.

The big controversy of the night I guess was the "DUI" chant. For the record, I didn't participate in it but I found it slightly amusing. The first time it happened, I thought it was funny. The other times? It got less and less amusing. By the end, I felt pretty bad for him though. Laker fans hated it when Kobe drew chants like that during his legal trouble so I would think they would feel some empathy for another player getting heat for his off-the-court actions. And if that's not enough, personally I wouldn't want to piss Carmelo off since he's perfectly capable of dropping a big game on us if he gets motivated. There's already talk on the Laker boards that the Nuggets fans are considering a chant in reply to point out Kobe's past problem... something that I think will end very badly for them but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Most of the in-game photos aren't worth posting since they're from so far away but I did catch some nice videos that I might put up later. They're big files so I don't feel like waiting right now.

After the game, we made our way out to Chick Hearn Drive where the post-game showing of Lakers Live was taking place with a ton of screaming Laker fans. We joined in, possibly getting on camera a couple of times as the camera panned the crowd. James Worthy came out on the outside deck above the crowd and waved a few times to a big cheer. And after a few more photos, we called it a day.

Big first win for the Lakers. Fifteen more to go, Laker fans!

UFC Picks Results

Let's take a look, shall we?

Going in to Saturday night...

28 out of 49 for the year for .571
Moneywise - $126.50 for the year

And after?
I went 7 out of 11 for the show with a loss of -$50. Going 0 for 2 on the two main events really hurt me moneywise.

So, for the year...

35 out of 60 for .583 - still room for improvement
Moneywise - I'm still up $76.50 for the year

Be back later today with some Laker Game 1 thoughts and photos!

It's The Brain Pain, Coach

Just got home from a very long day. Woke up at 5 AM to pick up my Mom and take her to my Great Aunt's funeral up in Ventura. Just got home finally.

Too, too tired to think.

A sleepy gift from me to you in the form of one of my favorite TV moments ever.

You get Hoynes!



Be back tomorrow with UFC Picks Results and hopefully some actually quality photos from the Laker game.

15 more wins!

And we get to hang another one of these
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Heading for the 4th

BIG third quarter to take a 19 point lead. Keep it up

Guy is shooting a half courter for 230 thousand. Airballed badly. The ball landed around the top of the key. He missed a banked 3 for a two night stay at the Mirage too

Here comes the fourth! Go Lakers!
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

At the half

Nice last 5 min of the half keeps the game close. Keys for the Lakers is tight D and good execution on offense. Don't fall in love with 3 and keep the ball moving in on the soft Denver D.

Halftime entertainment is some Russian acrobats that are pretty cool.

Looks like the Dodgers are losing again. Getting swept by Atl doesn't make me happy so I'm glad I have the Lakers to focus on while the Dodgers get out of their funk.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

End of 1

The wheels came off a bit at the end but they looked good most of the first. They need to stay sharp on transition though because the Nugs get out fast.

Funniest moment so far? DUI chant at Carmelo at the line - funny but soooooo wrong
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

We're in!

Last row of the building but if they ever turn this place around, we'll be in the front row!
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Game on! Playoff edition

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T