Fuck Microsoft

It's not exactly what you'd call a secret that the big MS and I don't exactly see eye to eye. I've been using Macs and professing their greatness to all who'd listen for years. Windows is a giant pile of shit compared to OS X whether it's XP, Vista, and I'll go out a limb right now and say it... yes, even the fabled Windows 7. The Zune is an even larger pile of shit that has earned it's place in the Mocking Hall of Fame. Office is... eh.... but it's hard to fuck up a Word Processor.

But the X-Box and I have always been on decent terms. I had an original X-Box pretty early in its inception - my last "big" Christmas gift from the family. I enjoyed it muchly and thought it much more fun than my PS2 that continues to sit untouched as it has been for years. I was pretty enthused about the 360 when I got it as well and used it for a while before all video games went ignored for quite some time.

Those decent terms end tonight.

The UFC game came out a couple weeks ago and after a couple-times-a-week check at Blockbuster to attempt to rent it, I buckled this evening and bought it. About two hours ago, we fired up the 360 for its first usage in a long, long while.

So, the first thing MS decides to do is piss on my parade by informing me that I have to do a system update before I can play the game. Awesome.

Well, no, it's not awesome because I don't have a hard line Internet connection in that room nor did I drop $100 for the overpriced 360 wireless receiver. I scoured the house for an Ethernet cable for which to tether my laptop to it to do the stupid update. Nothing. I even trudged down three flights of stairs to check the garage. Nothing.

I finally decided to take the cable from my Cable Modem to Airport and use that while piggybacking on someone else's connection. Plugged in. Fired it up.

I spot a weird little checkerboard pattern in the corner with a non-responsive controller that starts to make me nervous. Having been the victim of failed logic boards in the past, I have a sixth sense about these things.

Turn it off, turn it back on.



The infamous Red Ring Of Death.

For those unaware, MS describes this as "general hardware failure." It's infamous for a reason as countless X-Box 360 users over the past few years reported it. I'm sure I would have earlier if the unit hadn't gone untouched for months at a time. I immediately declare the situation a "traumatic event" to the scorn of the Missus because apparently we have different definitions of "traumatic."

I go to the Microsoft website for what they somehow have the unmitigated gall to label "support."

Step One - they give me some bullshit about checking the power adapter. Looks good.
Step Two - Turn it off for ten seconds. Brilliant! Like I hadn't already tried that.
Step Three - Welp, you're fucked. Submit an online repair request.

"Awesome," I think. This should be easy and painless.

Apparently the geniuses in Seattle believe that the first thing you should do when you have someone sad about not being able to use their product is to ask them to sign in to their website. Alright, I can dig it.

But I apparently don't have a Microsoft Live ID even though they send me monthly e-mails about X-Box Live - a service I haven't had in over a year [at least.] So, now I have to create a Microsoft Live ID complete with that character recognition bullshit that always takes me four tries to get right.

Yay, I have a Microsoft Live ID.

Time to fill out that service request, right?

Nah. Now these fucking idiots think it's a good idea to ask me to create a "Gamertag" and select an avatar for a game I won't be able to play for no telling how long thanks to their shoddy equipment. Are you fucking kidding me?

Alright... I select the Gamertag of "MakeMineApple" which shockingly is both available and apparently approved. Wocka wocka wocka!

I refuse to pick an avatar because that's how I roll. Surprisingly, they let me continue anyways. Thanks, Mr. Gates!

Okay, this part I'm writing as I go through the rest of this. I had to stop and come here to write because this is how ridiculous this whole thing is.

The next step is to register the X-Box that I plan to send in. Sounds... reasonable, I guess. But I bet they're going to want a serial number that I can't find without going back to the other room and disconnecting the 360. Any takers?

Indeed! The first thing they ask for is the S/N without the slightest hint of where it's at. Jackassery at it's finest.

To further the "Huh?" Factor... they ask me for my e-mail even though I'm signed in under my Windows Live ID which is linked to my e-mail. And they ask for my name again. And where I'm from. Leave no stone unturned. Here's an odd one... they ask for my preferred language and even though the entire page is in English, that's not the first choice. I have to scroll through the alphabetical list to bring it up. Is it too American-centric to ask that they put the language on the screen as the first option?

Okay... off I go to find a serial number...

It's on the back of the unit which is now unplugged. Bizarre thing is I powered it up before unplugging it. No red circle. Now I don't have a clue what's going on.

I'm going to fill this out anyways... just in case...

Standard Warranty Expired. But when you click the Red Ring as the problem, they list a free repair including them paying for shipping. Of course, I'd have to find a box to ship it in but that should be not horribly painful, I suppose.

I'll probably give the thing another shot tomorrow to see if it works but... yeah, not the best customer service support experience so far.

If only I liked Sony any better...

9

Somebody at work showed me this yesterday with a disclaimer of, "This looks soooo much better than Up." Consider me skeptical as I loved the shit out of Up [more on that soon] but I thought I'd take a look.

Now, while it's too hard to tell from this clip if the movie will have the heart of Up, it's definitely in the ballpark visually.

Check it out...

Laker Game Recap

Worked late tonight and I just finishing watching the game. I open tomorrow so I'll make this short...

Complete and total domination was awesome to see. In all of the interviews all week, you could FEEL that Kobe was... pick an adjective... focused, determined, centered, motivated, etc. And he certainly shot right out of the gate tonight to show it.

But the real good sign was the defensive intensity that our boys put out there.

If they can keep it up, things will be looking good. Game 2's are always tough though for the winner of Game 1 - especially in a game like this. It's important to not get cocky and to come out with the same level of intensity.

Sunday should be a lot of fun.

Kimbo Slice - The Ultimate Fighter?

This news broke yesterday and I never got a chance to post anything about it so here it is...

Yesterday, the UFC announced that Kimbo Slice would be a contestant on the next edition of The Ultimate Fighter.

Everybody got that?

If not, let me expand on that. Kimbo Slice, the man who was in the most watched MMA fight in history, will now be relegated to one of sixteen heavyweights fighting it out for the chance to earn a UFC contract. Oh, by the way, he'll be doing this while being coached by either Rashad Evans or Quinton Jackson. If the thought of Kimbo Slice trading words with Rampage doesn't give you a little bit of a flutter, you have no soul... well, MMA soul at least.

My thoughts?

First, this is EXACTLY the kind of thing that will make me watch TUF again after skipping the current season.

Second, like him or not, you've got to give Kimbo MAJOR credit for this. If you are to believe the rumors, he may have gone around his management team to make this deal which is crazy, stupid, and ballsy all wrapped up in a grill-covered ball. He's taking the biggest risk of his life here. If he proves to be a bust and gets KOd in the first round of his first fight, odds are high he'll never get a chance at another major fight. If he somehow works his way through and actually makes the UFC, whew, baby. Katie bar the door because MMA might hit a fresh run of awesomeness.

So, yeah... in short, I'm looking forward to seeing Kimbo on TUF and I just might find myself rooting for him as well.

By the way, this might be the biggest non-losing scenario for a promotion I've ever seen. Dana White remains a promotional genius in the vein of Vince McMahon. If Kimbo fails, Dana gets to mock him forever and show the world that not just any overhyped street fighter can be successful. If he wins, it's the ultimate success story and a chance at some big headlines and buyrates.

I'm suddenly excited about MMA again... for now.

Kobe: Doin' Work

In the quest to finish clearing off all the old TV off our DVR, we decided to watch ESPN's special from a few weeks ago about Kobe Bryant titled Kobe: Doin' Work.

This premise behind the show was that Spike Lee was directing a documentary about Kobe Bryant. For the film, they taped one game - Lakers vs Spurs - from April of 2008 using something like 30 cameras, all aimed at Kobe throughout the game. He was mic'd as well and they managed to get Phil to allow cameras pre-game, halftime, and post-game in the locker room for some surprising access. They also had Kobe provide a running commentary track over the game in January of '09 before polishing it off for commmercial-free airing on ESPN a few weeks ago.

The movie is well-shot, well-edited, and generally well-done.

It's fascinating to me as a basketball fan to hear him break down the action on [and a little bit off] the court - hearing him explain why they're calling certain plays, why he does certain things on the floor like his seemingly OCDish wiping of his hands (he's trying to keep them wet! Who knew?)

It's not your traditional type of documentary. You're not going to gain some huge inside into Kobe Bryant the person. However, if you're a basketball fan, you might gaint a little bit of insight to Kobe Bryant the player and you may see a side of the game you've never quite seen before.

I enjoyed it... and I think other basketball fans would enjoy it as well.

Short One

Here's a quick one just before bedtime!

On tonight's Dodger game, Vin Scully quipped (slightly paraphrased):

"Speaking of tattoos, have you ever seen more tattoos (outside of the circus of course) then on the Denver basketball team? They must be out of ink in the entire state of Colorado."

I love that man.

A Fitting Farewell...But Not

Last night, the Missus and I decided to burn through the last half dozen or so episodes of Scrubs that we had sitting on the DVR. As you may be aware, this was supposed to be the final season of Scrubs after NBC fucked them out of what was SUPPOSED to be their final season last year.

Earlier this year when The Shield wrapped up its run and then again when BSG did the same (seriously? We lost both of those this year? I'm already fucking depressed) I commented on the difficulty in putting together a series finale. There have been so many really, really bad and disappointing series finales, it's almost like we expect that now.

Scrubs accomplished the opposite. The "home stretch" of episodes that we watched last night were absolutely fantastic television. So many heart-felt moments that the show is so good at mixed with the crazy, zany humor that the show is so good at. As we got closer to the finale, I started to feel a little sad that we were going to see it go.

And then the finale arrived.

It's an odd thing - a series finale. For most shows, a series finale is quite the bittersweet moment. While you sit and wait and wait and eagerly anticipate just what the creative forces can do knowing there's "no tomorrow" there's also a piece of you who is - again - really fucking depressed that it's ending. I know I felt that strongly for The Shield. I was also pretty bummed that BSG was ending even though I hadn't dedicated much time to it. And I can already tell you that having no more Lost on Wednesday nights is going to make my brain bleed.

But Scrubs was different.

Scrubs has long ago passed the point where I eagerly looked forward to it every week. It wasn't like it was a chore to watch it or that I was watching out of habit - I just didn't really care that much about what was going on. Scrubs was the show where every week you'd watch it and most weeks you'd say, "That was good" and then forget about it. So, the end of Scrubs wasn't really going to bum me out.

And then the finale arrived.

And it was... perfect.

It was the absolute perfect way to end the show. I was okay with the series ending and I was happy with the way everything was resolved. I ended the finale thinking, "This show really couldn't have a better ending."

Unfortunately, they're going to have to try. As the show was ending, I also was thinking, "God, I really wish they hadn't agreed to another season."

Yep, "one more year" with a scrambling of old and new cast members.

Eh. I'm just not feelin' it.

While at one time, I thought The West WIng should last forever, simply by changing the cast every 4-8 years with a new administration... I just don't think Scrubs should keep going with a new cast. It just feels... cheap... to me at this point.

Who knows? I may change my mind when it re-arrives on ABC but right now? I think it's a bad call.