Tsk tsk tsk

Top 5 Friday

Just barely going to sneak it in before midnight! The streak continues!

Mrs. Blue kindly requested that this week's Top 5 not be MMA or wrestling related. You know, that really limits my options! And she won't be any happier if it's some major geekfest like "Top 5 Star Wars vehicles" or the like. This will take great focus to come up with something appropriate yet not dull.

I've got it! I was just reading something about American Idol being subject to the same regulations as "normal" game shows and it hit me!

And so, I present, my Top 5 Game Shows Ever!

5. Tic Tac Dough

Okay, first... I don't see how you can ever go wrong with a show hosted by a man named Wink Martindale. It's the perfect game show host name. It's also the perfect car salesman name... furniture salesman... insurance salesman... basically the scum of humanity should all be named "Wink" so that they at least can make you smile while they're bending you over their desks. Second? That dragon!
Oh my god, that dragon used to scare the hell out of me even though it was the most unscary looking digital dragon ever. If they ever bring this show back, they should CGI the dragon from Eragon in there... yes, the one I hated. It'd make kids smile and grownups go, "Awww... that dragon's kinda cute. I don't feel so bad for picking the wrong square now."

4. Classic Concentration

This show was so damn awesome. It's like Memory for adults who want to win really crappy prizes. But if you made it past the first round, you got to try to win a car by matching the names of other cars. It was sweet! This one definitely needs to come back. I even remember a video game for this game show that I loved as a kid. It always made me feel like a winner to be able to match one teapot to another... like I knew what to do with a teapot.

3. Wheel Of Fortune
I think I always liked Wheel of Fortune because it was the first game show I saw on television that I thought I would have legit chance of winning. I always seemed to be able to solve the puzzles a few minutes [at least] before the contestants. But I wouldn't want to be on WOF now. I'd want to be on WOF back in the 80's when they had to spend their money right on the spot. "Okay, Pat... I'll take that china creamer for $400. How much do I have- okay... ummm... alright, I'll take the ceramic dog." The ceramic dog was the shit! If I had a ceramic dog that I won on Wheel of Fortune, it'd be my most prized possession ever.

2. The Price Is Right
It was a tough one between #1 and #2 because I've always had a deep love for TPIR. TPIR has the absolute best games of all time. The mountain climber yodeling guy? The golf putt that Bob Barker could sink like nobody's business? The one where you punch holes in the wall and pull out pieces of paper with dollar amounts on them? THE CLOCK GAME?! And the absolute greatest invention in the history of all game shows...



Seriously! It's Plinko! If I ever get the opportunity to play Plinko on the Price Is Right stage, you'll have to drag me away from the top of that staircase because I will finally be home! I made the (quasi-joking) comment last weekend much to the wife's dismay that it's my life's ambition to play Plinko... hey, it's good to have goals.

1. Press Your Luck
Really? Do I need to explain why? It's the greatest game show in the history of the world because it gave us the phrase "Big Bucks, No Whammys annnnnnnnd STOP!" Everyone knows the phrase. EVERYONE! And everyone knows the legend of the guy who memorized the patterns and cleaned up on it. The next time the "brilliant" execs at the networks is looking for a gameshow to put on the air... don't rip off whatever is trendy in the UK... BRING BACK PRESS YOUR LUCK!

And until next week, Blue fans...

Let's Make It A Dodger Day

On a day when the Dodgers came from behind to score seven runs in the ninth to beat the Red Sox [in a lowly exhibition game at which point no players expected to make the clubs' rosters were playing], let's take a look at five pieces of news to ponder as we get closer to the season start.

1) Clayton Kershaw making a push for the roster
If you're not familiar with Clayton Kershaw, he's the best pitching prospect in the Dodgers organization and one of the best in the entire sport. Most expected the 19-year old to start the season at Single or Double A but... well... he got a couple innings of work in the big league camp the other day. Dodger All-Star catcher Russell Martin was asked if he thought Kershaw might make the opening day roster for the big club and had this to say, "I wouldn't be surprised. For the first time in a big league game -- wow. He's got just a heavy, heavy fastball and an easy delivery. He's very deceptive. His curveball, it just drops off the table. I think it's the best curveball I've ever caught, to be honest. He keeps the ball down. You can see he's a tremendous competitor, giving up a home run to the first batter, getting into a bases-loaded jam and bearing down to strike out two guys to get out of it. It's just how easy he throws. He's mechanically sound. I don't think he needs to learn anything mechanically. He looks polished. He wasn't holding anything back, he was just going after it. He's only 19. Man, that's impressive. A left-hander throwing 97 with a power curve, that's pretty unique. And he's got a changeup, but he only used it once. He didn't really need it. They couldn't get the bat head out, so why help them? I heard a lot of things about the guy, but I like to make my own opinion. A lot of young guys get called up early and have done well. Hopefully, he can be one of those guys."

Lots of key phrases in there to be excited about if you're a Dodger fan. Things like lefty, 97 MPH fastball, "best curveball I've ever caught." But at the end of the day, the kid is only nineteen and barring a major crisis where we need him ASAP, I'd rather let him spend another season in the minors.

2) Jeff Kent hurt
Kent's got a strained hammy and is out of action for a week. One of the hazards of having a veteran second baseman. He should be alright soon but I'd expect we'll see a few more twinges and tweaks from Kent this season. I hope we have a reliable backup ready.

3) Delwyn Young sparkling at second
And speaking of our backup at 2B, Young was kinda shoved into duty there last week as the Dodgers search for a roster spot for him. He's out of options so they either have to keep him or lose him so with his impressive bat in his ML stint last season, they're going to do their best to keep him. A former 2B who was converted to the OF because of bad defense, he's grabbed nothing but praise for his defense over the past couple weeks. With Abreu hurting as well, Young may be a lock for that backup 2B spot when the season starts.

4) The battle for the fifth spot
So, we already talked about Kershaw but the surprise of the spring so far is the performance of Chan Ho Park. Once thought a major longshot to make the rotation, he has thrown four perfect innings so far this spring and was named the starter for the first China game. If he does well there, the Dodgers may have to give him a serious, serious look... but I still say Loaiza would have to completely shit the bed to lose the spot as he's got the most money invested in him.

5) 115,000?
The Dodgers are looking to set the World Record for largest crowd to attend a baseball game at the Coliseum against the Sox. They added 25,000 standing room seats to attempt it. Whew. All I can think about is how bad traffic will be getting out of the ghetto on that lovely spring night.

More Posts For Posting's Sake

Forgive me. I'm feeling a little drained today. Why, you ask? I give a three part answer.

1) I was up til around 3:30 AM because I had a sudden burst of desire to try and adapt a book into a screenplay. Since I openly admitted that I've been having a lack of inspiration on that front, I seized the moment when I felt it and stayed up until I was about to drop.

2) One of the good things about being unemployed is that you can pretty much do anything at any point. What I mean by that is, for example, if you know the post office is crowded at a certain time of day, you're pretty much free to go at any other time of day you want. So, when I realized this morning that I needed to go to the bank, Juice It Up, and Trader Joe's... I knew I could go at any point today to avoid the crowds. And when does my dumbass go? Noon on the dot. Ugh. Although, I do have to admit it was pretty fun to be bumming around in my sandals and Dodger hat while all the businessmen in their suits were rushing to get through their one hour break.

3] Building off #2, I went to the gym at about 5:30 PM. At our gym, there are three treadmills... with usually anywhere between zero and one taken. Rarely two... and never three. On this night when I strolled in, all three were taken by three friends who decided to go to the gym together. It's all good. I decided to use the bike instead. All was perfectly fine for about ten minutes until I noticed the girl in the middle get off her treadmill and go outside to use her phone. I paused to watch, wondering if her treadmill was going to be free but then saw her friends wave away someone else who wanted to use it. She came back in and got on it so I shrugged it off. Then I notice she's walking very slowly on it... then I notice she's texting while walking very slowly... then I notice she's doing a Rubix Cube while she's walking very slowly on it. I start to get annoyed... but I don't want to be that guy... you know that guy. Then she changes all three TVs to some vapid MTV reality dating show... with absolutely no redeeming qualities at all. Great. I was listening to my iPod so I was still shrugging it off.

Then she starts walking backwards on the treadmill.

Then she jumps off, gets behind her friend, puts her hands on her friend's waist and starts walking with her.

Then she gets back on her own and decides to hang on to the heart rate monitor bar, puts her feet on the plastic belt guard thing, and hangs backwards to let the belt drag against her feet.

Then I notice she's not wearing shoes.

And while I still don't want to say anything because now my workout's almost over and I still don't want to be that guy... it's at this point that I start wishing physical harm on this girl. Like something "tragic" where her toes get caught under the belt and the belt pulls her underneath and somehow she ends up like that guy who goes under the rock crusher in Temple of Doom leaving nothing but a bloody streak behind.

Does that make me a bad person?

Does it help if I point out it's at this point that I notice she's wearing a sorority sweatshirt?

I knew it would!

See, while there's many things I despise about the collegiate Greek system, one of the main ones that continue to affect us all is their tendency to spit out their members into society as self-involved, self-centered, egotistical, materialistic pieces of worm-ridden filth that aren't worthy of sharing oxygen with most of us.

It's a little too much generalization, I know, but dammit, I keep it real, yo.

I'm sure I was supposed to feel better about the situation when she left, walking over to give me the remote to the TVs so I could finally watch ESPN for the last ten minutes of my workout but I don't.

There's a serious scholastic study to be done about the social relevance and contribution to society of members spit out of the Greek system. I'm not the person to do said study because it would turn into a real life Sweeney Todd... but someone should do it.

A Post For Posting's Sake

I read this article on CNET that was about becoming famous via your blog... and of course, as you can tell by the high-browed, worldly content on here, that's exactly what I'm aiming for.

One of the suggestions they make is that you should make sure you're posting daily... just anything at all to give people something new to read if they happen to stop by because if you don't at least give them the option, they won't come back! Is that right?! You treacherous fucks!

Alright, fine. I'll try to post daily. Happy now?

So, in honor of that half-assed pledge, I present a post for posting's sake.

Give me a few minutes here to scour the Interweb for things to write about because I'm drawing a blank [total creative blank as I haven't been able to do anything screenplay-related in days either.]

Okay, here's something... well, I wouldn't say "good" per se... but it's amusing and relevant since it was a topic for brief discussion at family dinner on Sunday.

I've posted on here before some of my fears for the forthcoming Justice League movie and I'm far from the only JLA fanboy getting nervous every single time a piece of news comes out about this thing.

Honestly, the first sign of trouble was the news that they had no intention of casting Christian Bale as Batman or Brandon Routh as Superman.

...

What the fuck?

Why the hell do you make multi-hundred million dollar relaunches of two franchises and then not use the faces of those franchises when trying to launch a third that they're both integral to? It just makes no sense at all.

And just when the thought crosses your mind that "Any idiot on the Internet who has read JLA could probably do a better job than the shit they're tossing around right now"... you're proven dead, dead wrong. One of my favorite websites, Comics2film [I know... big shock, huh?] had an opinion column up by someone proposing another take on the JLA movie. I settled in to read moments ago expecting to be blown away by a fanboy's vision... or at least mildly entertained.

Instead?

Well, let's put it this way. When most people think of the Justice League of America, you probably think of something like this...



It's a Murderers Row of superhero teams. Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Flash... you know, the heavy hitters.

Our friend at Comics2film has an alternate suggestion. He despises the idea of the fucky casting like most of us but he understands the expense of Bale/Routh might push the budget into another stratosphere. His solution?

Use a different team.

He proposes...

Well, he proposes a lineup that a quick 'net search can't even score me a picture of. He wants to use a post-Crisis on Infinite Earths lineup of Blue Beetle, Guy Gardner, Booster Gold, Dr. Fate, the female Dr. Light, Mr. Miracle and others.

Crikey.

Why not just pour money down a fucking hole?

The idea is so bad on so many different levels, I don't even feel like dissecting it. I can't bring myself to confront idiocy on that grand of a level.

So, the moral of our story?

"Just when you thought it couldn't get worst, you went on the Internet and realized the true nature of man is to be dumber than the guy next to them."

And that's one to grow on, kids.

The Good & Bad On G.I. Joe

Oddly enough, it seems we've become a bit of an unofficial source of tons of G.I. Joe movie information. Seeing as it's one of my favorite childhood sources of entertainment, I have absolutely no problem with that. And seeing as I stumbled upon two new articles about the movie this morning, I proudly present...

The Good & Bad On G.I. Joe

Our first source of info today comes from an interview that Dennis Quaid [who will be playing General Clayton Abernathy aka Hawk] did with MTV. Some scary stuff mixed in here. Take a look.

** Quaid is quoted as saying he'll be transforming the character to make him a "Hefner-like playboy."
First impression? BAD!
Second impression? Oh, that's bad. I see absolutely no benefit in making a Hawk a play-on Playa no matter how much on-screen tail that Dennis Quaid gets out of it. This seems like an attempt to make the character younger or in a Simon Cowell world "more relevant." But I don't like it... not one bit.

** Quaid was also given a list of characters to confirm or deny that they'll be in the movie.

Tomax and Xamot, the twins fronting the Crimson Guard? Negative, although he claims they may be in the second movie [that he has already signed on for.]
First impression? GOOD!
Second impression? Probably a good thing. I like the characters but we're already going overboard on villains with Destro, CC, the Baroness, and Zartan. Storm Shadow too [who is presumably a villain.] But I better be getting me some twins finishing each other's sentences in a future sequel.

Shipwreck? Negative.
First impression? GOOD!
Second impression? They probably couldn't have cast the parrot right anyways.

Wild Bill? Negative.
First impression? BAD!
Second impression? Would it really have been hard to toss in Wild Bill as a cameo in a helicopter flying scene?

** “‘G.I. Joe’ is kind of close to James Bond, the old James Bond with Dr. No,” Quaid said of the script he’ll begin shooting soon. “[Cobra is like] S.P.E.C.T.R.E., where they take over an entire island and are a sort of crime country unto themselves.”
First impression? BA-GOOD?
Second impression? I don't know about the Bond analogy but... excuse me? Did he mention Cobra taking over an island?! If we get a Cobra Island story, I just may wet myself.

** Catchphrases: Quaid confirms he does not get to scream "YO JOE!" during the movie but he does get a "Knowing is half the battle."
First impression? Mixed again.
Second impression? I like the nod to fans of the old cartoon but I'm going to be bummed if there's no "Yo Joe!" bellowed at some point.

Our other source of Joe info this morning comes from an interview MTV did with one of the Exec Producers...

** Comic writer Larry Hama is on board. Apparently he helped polish the script into something that he feels Joe fans will enjoy. And according to the exec producer, we may "even see him on screen." Who gives a fuck?
First impression? GOOD!
Second impression? Hama being on board with the script is a good thing. The comics were the best Joe stuff ever produced and he was responsible for them all. This increases my faith tenfold.

** All about the comics? The producer says they are going to largely avoid the TV show and tell the stories from the comics. He mentions delving into the Arishkage story with Snakes and Stormy. He mentions doing the origin story for Destro. Awesome stuff if they do it right. And he says, "this is really all about the rise of Cobra Commander." Again, awesome if they do it right.

And that's that.

Quick Pick Results

Hey, hey, hey... I did pretty well.

So, as a reminder, going into the show...

Picks Average For The Year: 13 out of 27 fights for a .482
Money For The Year: +$21

And after the show?

I got 8 of 10 right last night! Woooooo!

That puts me at 21 out of 37 for the year for a .568... getting better.

Moneywise? Let's take a look...

Lost $10 on Hazelett
Lost $10 on Bielkheden
Lost $10 on Wilson
Lost $10 on Tanner
Won $16 on Leben
Won $24.50 on Herring
Won $65 on Silva

So, I started at +$21 going into last night and on last night's show, I ended up at +$65.50.

And that puts me at up $86.50 for the year.

RECAP!

21 out of 37 for the year for .568
Moneywise - +86.50 for the year