2008-02-15

Indulge Your Inner Geek

So... I felt a great disturbance in the Force and I'm looking for answers.

I just was watching Revenge Of The Sith on HBO and something at the end struck me as being a little odd.

Death Star Facts!

1. We know that at the end of Episode 2, Count Dooku fled with the plans to the Death Star. So, at earliest... that's when they started working on the "that's no moon, it's a..." space station.

2. At the end of Episode III after Anakin gets "suited up", he joins the Emperor on the deck of what will become a Star Destroyer. As they're looking out the bridge window, they're looking at a partially completed Death Star... the exterior structure in place with no outside cosmetic shielding, etc. Presumably they've got the superlaser and propulsion in place since that would seem to be done early in the process.

3. As we know, the first Death Star is not completed until A New Hope when it becomes fully operational. Luke and Leia are 18 years old in A New Hope which means that the first Death Star took at least 18 years [presumably longer] to build. And of course, that shit gets blown up at the end of the movie.

4. At the beginning of Return of the Jedi, we learn there's a new Death Star being built. It's not fully complete but it's pretty close as they can land on it, live on it, rule on it, all sorts of shit. And of course, by the end, we know that the superlaser is functional. That means that shit's pretty close to being done. The events of ROTJ take place a mere 4 years after A New Hope.

So, you can see where I'm going with, right?

Right?

Are you telling me that there are that many technological advances in the Star Wars universe that they somehow manage to go from a 18+ year build time for the first Death Star to sub-5 years? CRAZY!

And honestly, if there _are_ that many technological advances in the Star Wars universe, why the fuck can they not get some shields on a god damn TIE Fighter?

2008-02-14

PITCHERS AND CATCHERS ARE THERE!!!

Oh, hell yes.

Baseball season officially begins today as pitchers and catchers start reporting. It's the time of year where optimism and hope spring eternal and everyone's team is undefeated. I can almost smell the fresh cut grass at Dodger Stadium already. It's a beautiful day, baseball fans.

The news already is spilling from Vero Beach as the Dodgers prepare for their final spring training Dodgertown. I have mixed feelings on that as Dodgertown is flat out awesome. The one season I got to go is filled with great memories and I was just a little kid. On the other hand, they're going to be in Arizona now and a yearly weekend trip to check out spring training is no longer out of the question.

The Dodgers are in for an interesting camp. There's not a lot of new players to work into the mix but there are a lot of questions to answer. Here's my Top 5 questions for Dodgers Spring Training.

1. Who will be the fifth starter?
Esteban Loaiza and Jason Schmidt are the likely two choices barring a trade or a shocking spring from someone on the fringe [Stults or Kuo most likely.] Loiaza and Schmidt were both at camp early and already hard at work. Loaiza says that he's ready to complete for the fifth starter spot. He says he's healthy and that we didn't see the real him last year. Let's hope not. Jason Schmidt is "on schedule" in his rehab but they're already anticipating he won't be ready for the start of the season. He sounds less than optimistic in his interviews too for a full recovery. He's working hard and making progress but it's not all sunshine and roses like I'd hope to hear on the first day of spring training. If he doesn't recover, Loaiza will have a huge spotlight on his every pitch.

2. Who's on third?
Andy LaRoche has been the Dodgers assumed third-baseman-of-the-future for a long, long time but somewhere along the way, he seemed to fall out of favor with the brass. There was a lot of talk about trading for a third baseman in the winter but nothing ever developed. Nomar Garciaparra had a horrible 2007 and is very lucky he signed a two-year deal after his Comeback Of The Year season. Nomar is probably the presumed Opening Day Starter until LaRoche can steal it away from him.

3. Will the odd spring training affect the team?
The Dodgers will have spring training in four places this year. They're starting in Florida... then half the team is going to China for an exhibition game while the other half moves to Arizona. When returning from China, they've got more exhibition games scheduled for Los Angeles. It's a tough schedule and I'm really hoping they don't show up in April worse for wear.

4. How do we resolve the outfield problem?
In the winter of 2007, Ned Coletti panicked and signed Juan Pierre to a ridiculous deal. While I really enjoy the speed he brings to the team as I think the stolen base is becoming an antique in the current game, his defense and weak throwing arm proved to be an annoyance to fans and a subject of constant criticism for the team. When confronted with the need to upgrade the offense, Coletti went for another CF in Andruw Jones with the idea that he'd push Pierre to a corner OF spot. The problem there is that most teams get a large part of their production from the corner OF spots and don't use them for a slap-hitting, speed demon. Especially when you already have two slugging corner OFers in place in Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp. Dodger fans rioted at the news, stunned that they would actually bench Ethier or Kemp in favor of Pierre. Many wonder if new manager Joe Torre will go along with the plan or if Pierre is about to become a very expensive pinch runner. Lots of trade rumors involving Ethier as well. Something's gotta give!

5. What effect will Joe Torre have?
The million dollar question. A lot of the blame in last year's total collapse fell on Grady Little. Well, that's no excuse now. Torre's got the tough job of patching the clubhouse back together, developing young players, keeping old players productive, solving at least two position player situations, keeping the pitching staff strong [including avoiding the Torre rep of abusing his relievers], and getting this team through a tough NL West and into the playoffs where the Dodgers have won _one_ game in twenty years. It's time for the Dodgers to get back in business... and much of that falls on Joe Torre's shoulders.

Lots of questions and I can't wait to get the answers.

Game f'n on!

You Call Him Dr. Jones, doll!

Oh... my... god.

After all these years of speculation and bullshit, the trailer for the new Indiana Jones movie officially premiered this morning on Good Morning America [more on that in a moment.]

I just can't believe it's finally here. I never really thought this movie would get made. For years, everytime it was mentioned, all we heard was how Lucas didn't like this script or that script, how a new writer was being brought on board, how it didn't fit in their schedules. And as Harrison Ford got older and older, I really did loose faith that it would ever get made.


But finally... once again... it must be said that if adventure has a name, it must be Indiana Jones.

The trailer gives me chills. But honestly, I probably could close my eyes, just hear the music and have the same reaction. The trailer is a beautiful piece of work and does exactly what a trailer for a well-established brand name should. It should tease you and just give enough to make you a giddy child again inside.

I remember standing in line waiting for Temple of Doom. I remember going to see the Last Crusade in the theater. And I definitely remember closing my eyes tightly during the end of Raiders when the skin was melting off the Nazis. Ahhh... memories.

At some point last year after going to a midnight Order of the Phoenix screening, I said there are very few movies anymore that would get me out at midnight to see them. Well, Dr. Jones will definitely do that. May 22, midnight... mark it down, people.

Oh, and if you haven't seen the trailer...

Oh, side note... fuck Good Morning America. They get exclusive rights to premiere the trailer on television and they throw up all these fucking graphics advertising "FIRST LOOK ON GMA!" plus the standard GMA logo/clock thing in another corner with the god damn newscrawl at the bottom of the screen. Way to kill the moment, bitches. And then they say they're going to show it again... and proceed to talk over it. Thank god for the internet. And the networks wonder why people piss on their shows.

Cro Cop back to Japan

Ugh.

Just plain "ugh."

That was my reaction when I saw the news on Wrestling Observer on Tuesday that Mirko CroCop was heading to Japan where he was going to announce that he was going to be part of a new K-1 funded MMA promotion.

Ugh.

The reports say that CroCop had gone mute after his last UFC loss and that UFC officials didn't know if he was retiring or not. Apparently they set some kind of a deadline to hear from him before they'd cut his contract [I don't understand how you cut a contract and don't have to pay the money... does UFC have contracts like WWE?] It's a little fuzzy on whether or not CroCop told them he wanted to stay but apparently he was told that he should accept a pay cut because his performance thusfar wasn't worth what he was being paid. If only other major sports could get away with that. Kevin Brown, Darren Dreifort, Darryl Strawberry... man, the Dodgers could've gotten a lot of mileage out of that clause.

Cro Cop rightfully told them to stuff it, was cut from his contract, and now has returned to the Land of the Rising Sun.

So much for my MMA dream match of Cro Cop vs Brock.

It's not all bad, I suppose. This new promotion has an alliance with M-1 so we may get another Cro Cop/Fedor fight. And watching Cro Cop fight in Japan is always awesome no matter who the opponent is. He's just a fucking hero to those people. I sent this to a few people earlier in the year but this was his appearance he made at a PRO WRESTLING event on New Year's. Check it out and then have absolutely no question as to why he's going back to Japan.

Doin' Time

So, like I mentioned earlier this week [I think}, I've been doing an hour of writing every other day as part of this anti-laziness campaign. Now, all of that writing so far has been on a sitcom teleplay that's been rattling around my brain for a year or two that I finally decided to put the proverbial pen to paper on. But I'm kinda stuck on it and I need to write something to fulfill the deal. And yes, it's past midnight on the 13th so I'm technically not writing on the day I'm supposed to write but it'll do, donkey.

The Writers Strike is over!

You can't understand how happy I am about that. For a couple different reasons actually. Mainly, it's because all my favorite shows [well, most] are about to get some extra episodes added to their abbreviated seasons. Shows like Lost will come pretty close to meeting what they had promised. More eps of How I Met Your Mother, 30 Rock, and The Office is awesome. And everyone's favorite guilty pleasure, Gossip Girl, has been instructed to put out as many eps as they can.

But with every silver lining comes a big fuckin' cloud.

Turns out that the 24 team will not go back to work to finish up their season and we are delayed until January 2009. Now, if it were me producing 24 and I was coming off my worst season so far, I'd probably rush my show back on the air to take the bad taste out of everyone's mouth. But that's just me.

Pushing Daisies won't be back til fall which blows but... I'll deal with that one. It was such a pleasant surprise, I won't shed any tears considering we're damn lucky that any of these shows are coming back this spring at all.

But the biggest "fuck you" of all news post-strike? NBC apparently isn't sure if they want to air the last episodes of Scrubs.

...

Let that sink in a second.

The network gave the show seven years on the air and as its final episodes are approaching to wrap the series up, NBC suddenly isn't sure if they want to show them.

Seriously?

You're fucking kidding me, right?

Not only is it a total and blatant slap in the face to all the artists [producers, writers, actors, etc.] that have worked on the show over the past six years to not allow it the send-off it richly deserves but what about the fans? You know, those fans that stuck with the show no matter what even when you jerked them around with late renewals and short seasons and timeslot Musical Fucking Chairs? You know, those same fans that are making 30 Rock and The Office successful because they appreciate smart comedies. Ringing any bells yet?

Apparently the Scrubs execs say they'll finish the show no matter what. They're co-owned by Disney so apparently the option is there to wrap things up on ABC... but God knows how that would turn out. Probably buried in the worst time slot they can possibly dream up. The other option is a straight to DVD release of the final eps. Honestly, I think I'd be happy with that. They could do the shows as they wanted... they could release them as they were meant to be seen and they can go out on the high note they deserve.

NBC has really made some jackass decisions lately. They're damn lucky I have no choice but to watch them for 30 Rock, Earl, and The Office [even though I'd drop Earl in a heartbeat with little sadness if I had to.] Well, Heroes too. Damn you, NBC. But seriously... they put a ton of money into Bionic Woman promotions... a show that was so "eh" that they couldn't even get a huge reaction from a Comic-Con crowd that pretty much jizzes over anything geek-related. And they shitcan Journeyman which was ten times the show that they churn out usually. Apparently they're also considering dropping Friday Night Lights which sadly I haven't been watching but I've heard nothing but great things about and is definitely on my "catch up on DVD someday" list.
God forbid you show quality scripted television. There might be an urgent need to shovel a few more hours of American Gladiators, To Catch A Predator, or the like onto the schedule. Maybe you can create a few dozen more Law And Order spinoffs so we can get "original" stories "ripped from the headlines" which is a nice, cute way of saying, "We pay our writers to sit in front of CNN and write down any shit that Nancy Grace is going to cover tonight." I can't wait for the episode where the steroid-fueled pro wrestler murders his wife and child before offing himself. It'll be money for sure. I know I'll be glued to the TV to watch it... unless it conflicts with one of the dreaded VH1 reality shows which are like visual crack.

Jesus... that was a major tangent.

Anyways... my other reason for being happy about the strike being over?

Apparently they got a decent deal... better than they expected. As an aspiring writer who would treasure a WGA membership card, I'm happy that they made the sacrifice for the future. Since the entire disagreement was based on residuals, it really is more for the future of the union... the future members who aren't quite there yet. Sure, some current writers will benefit but as the Internet becomes more and more a force in television/film viewing, it's those who've yet to pen their first screenplay that will beenfit. And for that, I thank them in advance.

I mean, they took a lot of heat from people for it... even from members of their own union. I don't think people quite understand the conviction and courage it takes to go out on strike like that. Overall, I'm not a huge union fan because I've been burned by watching the major sports unions do their damndest to torture fans all over the world. I've also had the displeasure of being bullied by union rules on worksites at my last job. But... honestly, to walk out of your job with no guarantee of when you're going back? Guts. To risk your house, your health, your children's educations, your... well, you get the point. It's an admirable... or really stupid... thing to do. Let me know which one you decide it is.

Anyways... the strike is over... I've written for 20 minutes or so now... uhhhh... more in a bit maybe?

Pens to paper, my friends. Pens to paper.

2008-02-12

That's Entertainment

Some items on AICN caught my eye this morning as being worth commenting on so here goes...

NEWS: New Star Wars Movie! Well, sorta.
RESPONSE: On August 15th, Warner Brothers is going to release a roughly 100 minute feature animated flick that will serve as the jumping off point for the new 3-D Animated Series which apparently will air on Cartoon Network and TNT. The other interesting news in the article is that they already have 30 half-hour episodes in the can and that Anthony Daniels will be back to voice C-3PO. That's hot. I'm looking forward to this. I mean, after all, it's Star Wars, right? Like I'd be pissed about new Star Wars even if it's Episode 2.5. The footage shown at Comic-Con to preview it looked amazing so I'm eagerly anticipating August 15th... and if I were a betting man, I'd wager that Lucasfilm gives an advanced screening at the Con so I may get to see this early. Sweet!

NEWS: Writers Strike Vote Today
REACTION: Eeeeeek. So much tension. I can't wait for tonight so we know the score.

NEWS: Dr. Who's Chris Eccleston as Destro
REACTION: Apparently David Murray stepped out and was replaced. I don't know much about Eccleston either other than I've heard a lot of good things about him. I vote this as an UPGRADE!

NEWS: Marisa Tomei scores lead role in THE WRESTLER
REACTION: Okay, so if you haven't heard, Darren Arnofsky is directing a movie called THE WRESTLER starring Mickey Rourke. For months, they have been visiting east coast indy shows [ROH, CZW, etc.] to do research and this week, news broke that they will actually be filming at a couple ROH shows soon. The basic storyline is that Rourke is a big time wrestler [think WWE] who suffers a heart attack while on top of the world and has to battle his way back to the top through the indies. Marisa apparently has been cast as a stripper who is Rourke's love interest. As a wrestling fan, this could be very, very good... or very, very bad. So far, I'm going to be hopeful as the cast seems good. Apparently Ms. Tomei is on a comeback.

NEWS: Fanboys gets its heart cut out
REACTION: There's a movie called "Fanboys" that has been hyped for the past two years at Comic-Con but has not been released yet. The basic story is a group of friends travelling cross-country to break into Skywalker Ranch to see Episode I before it is released. Along the way, there are tons of Star Wars references to make any SW fan giggle with joy. Here's the snag... the original version of this movie has these fans going on this journey because of the group has been diagnosed with cancer and is not expected to survive until the movie actually comes out. This is where the heart and soul of the movie comes from and as someone who lost a friend to cancer in '06, I can relate to the situation. But Hollywood thinks cancer has no place in a comedy and made them re-cut the movie removing that part of the story. It's things like this that make me unsure about trying to be a writer in their world.

NEWS: Sigh... lawyers.
REACTION: Two hugh fanboy movies are being hit hard by legal action. First, THE WATCHMEN finds itself in trouble as Fox apparently just decided that they, and they alone, have the rights to make a WATCHMEN movie... a fact that might have been useful to share before the movie was shot by WB. And perhaps in worse news, THE HOBBIT is in trouble again as the Tokein estate is suing New Line over Rings. Of course. Because New Line apparently just fucked everyone on Rings. Their suit states that the estate was entitled to 7.5 percent of the total gross and got nothing. Now... I just don't understand this one at all. How can you pay nothing on a multi-billion dollar franchise? Of course, part of the suit is asking for the termination of any future Tolkien projects by New Line until the matter is settled. Christ, that movie is cursed.

NEWS: Val Kilmer is the voice of KITT
REACTION: Hell, I'm just glad Kilmer has a job still. This news does nothing for me unless word breaks that he's doing it as Doc Holiday. "Why, Michael, you look like someone just... walked over your grave." Money. Pure money.

2008-02-11

It's just another Manic Monday

Sooooo... yeah. It seems to be a good time for some random randomocity.

NEWS: Pitchers and catchers report on Thursday!
REACTION: It's about damn time! Having suffered through another NFL season, I'm sooooo ready for baseball season to start. I'll have more on this later in the week but needless to say, I'm stoked, people!

NEWS: Lakers lookin' good
REACTION: With the latest addition to the lineup firmly ensconced, the Lakers are bringin' the pain. They haven't quite gotten to the level I expect they can play at with Gasol in the lineup but it'll come. And when Bynum gets back? Katie bar the door! It's gonna be a pier sixer!

NEWS: Superdelegates
REACTION: Okay, did anyone even know what the hell a superdelegate was before this year? And does anyone else see a major problem with someone being appointed as being so special that their opinion matters more than several thousand voters? Big problem. No matter who you're supporting in this election, you've gotta have issues with that crap.

NEWS: Grammys
REACTION: The "biggest night of the year for the music industry" was last night and shockingly, I wasn't too badly annoyed. I dug some of the collaborative performances as Tina Turner put her young counterpart to shame... as Groban and Bocelli rocked the joint... as the Beatles' love was in the air [although the Cirque stuff was too drug-addled for me to understand]... AND MORRIS DAY AND THE MOTHERFUCKIN' TIME! Herbie Hancock wins Album of the Year? Oooookay. I can't judge. I haven't heard an entire album in a long, long time.

NEWS: Writers strike
Nope, no no way, uh uh, forget it. Not saying a word until it's _really_ over.

That's it for today. Until next time, we wish you love, peace, annnnnd....

SOUL!

(Fade out on Blue doing the Robot down the middle of the Soul Train line!)

Oh man, Soul Train Scramble Board. Good times... good times.