A Purple And Gold Throat-Slasher

So...umm... remember my anti-Artest post from a month or so ago?

Yeaaaaaaaah... might need to take that one back.

What must it feel like to be the Dodgers PR guy? You're one day away from getting Manny back on the squad, arguably one of the biggest news stories of the year for the Dodgers and you STILL get your press jacked by the Lakers, this time in the form of Ron Artest apparently signing a three year, $18 million deal.

Am I happy about this? Not sure. I much would have rather had Ariza back but it didn't seem to be in the cards. His agent took a very antagonistic stance from the beginning and seemed to fan the flames rather than try to keep his client in a good situation. The 24 year old, when it came down to it, jumped for more money. No big shock there, right?

So, the Lakers adjusted and went after another target - one who, in theory, should be able to match or exceed Ariza's offensive and defensive production.

Now, can we all get along?

That remains to be seen. You've got quite the loose cannon out there now and someone who has, in the past, complained about not getting enough touches. If Artest knows that his role mostly is to defend, we should be golden. If he gets three-pointer happy like he did in the playoff series this year, well... there could be problems.

Oh, let me take a quick moment to say that Ariza's agent has quickly risen to join Scott Boras in the ranks of agents that I despise. This is the same guy who held us up with Bynum last season and just did the same thing again. What an ass.

I just hope this move still leaves money for Lamar. Starting five of Fish, Kobe, Artest, Pau, and Bynum with Lamar as the 6th man? I can deal with that, I think.

Nothing says America like a giant wrinkled flag in the middle of the
mall.

Strike Three

Last night, I settled in to watch Raw as I usually do. After a bit of the same ol', same ol', I was starting to grow a little annoyed. At some point in the show, they announced a tournament to determine who would get the title match with Randy Orton at Night Of Champions.

As soon as I saw the brackets, my stomach sunk.

Miz vs Cena and HHH vs MVP.

I just couldn't imagine any other possible outcome. Sure, I hoped for it. The idea of a Miz/HHH or MVP/Cena match or god forbid, MVP/Miz match seemed intriguing and something that I'd be interested in seeing. My thought was that it benefited no one to see Cena vs HHH next week nor either of those guys in ANOTHER title match with Orton.

Then the first match happened and Miz lost. And I grew even more annoyed. The Miz/HHH option seemed far more likely to me than a Cena/MVP match. I immediately assumed the worst.

And not long after, I was proved correct. Cena vs HHH for the title shot.

That's bad, right? But somehow it got worse.

They announced a fifteen wrestler trade with five new superstars going to each show. Then they announced three of those guys would face Orton in the Main Event in a gauntlet match.

My immediate thought was "what a waste." Why book a gauntlet match when you essentially have no choice but to piss away the debuts of three new competitors since winning a gauntlet match gets you nothing and losing is a joke?

Then the wrestlers came out...

Evan Bourne - one of the most popular new superstars they've stumbled onto in years. They've handled him poorly for months and then decide the best way to book his Raw debut is to lose to Orton - a "badly beaten and hurting" Orton at that.

Jack Swagger - well, at least Swagger got to just walk out but... why? Is he going to get in Legacy? If he does, is he just another flunky for Orton? I'd buy into Swagger as the cocky kid who gets better and better and better and then surpasses Orton as the leader of Legacy. But I doubt that's happening.

And then... Mark Henry. Okay, I like Mark Henry. But I'm not feeling Mark Henry as a face at all. And that's how they positioned him.

Look, I'm not in favor of this gauntlet match at all but if you had to do it...

Henry comes out first, just destroys Orton with power moves, and somehow gets himself DQd when it looked pretty obvious he was going to win. Swagger refuses to take a win over a beaten up Orton, saying he'll see the champ when he's 100%. Bourne, of course, gets the win. It doesn't do much since he's beating a badly beaten champ but you get footage of Bourne beating Orton and send the crowd home happy.

Is it really that tough?

And the HHH/Cena thing? Fuck that. I'm so irritated at The Miz's run getting the legs cut out from under it.

I've made a decision!

When I was dreading Cena/HHH being the winners of their matches, I mentally told myself that I should stop watching if that happens...

...and so I shall!

For the first time in years, when Monday Night Raw hits the airwaves next Monday, I won't be watching it. I'd like to see Ted DiBiase as the "guest host" but I just don't care about the rest of the show. I'll probably still watch ECW and Smackdown - maybe even Superstars. But Raw will lose me a viewer...

...for one month! In true old school wrestling fashion, I am leaving Raw for 30 days with the hope that when I see it once again, things will be different.

I hope.

DUCK!

Ain't No Sunshine

Lashley Beats Sapp

Just a quick one tonight...

So, former ECW Champion Bobby Lashley defeated former IWGP Champion Bob Sapp tonight in a battle of former pro wrestlers turned MMA stars [or in Sapp's case, a former MMA star turned pro wrestler turned foreign megastar turned occasional MMA star.]

Sapp, as usual, came in far too heavy in my estimation and probably nowhere near ready for a fight with someone who might actually put on a good fight. Lashley, a former collegiate wrestling standout, took Sapp down with ease and pounded him out for an easy win.

No big shock at all.

But the question remains - is that enough to gain Dana White's interest? I'm not sure how eager Dana will be to have another former WWE wrestler on his roster even though Brock has turned out pretty well so far. I'm guessing Lashley's not there yet - maybe a few more wins [against decent competition] will do it.

The other question? How many more losses can Sapp endure before he looks for a paycheck elsewhere? The WWE's interest in him has long been rumored and it's starting to sound to me like it might be a good place for him if he can handle not being an instant megastar. I'm guessing he might also have to put up with a duffel bag full of shit or two.

An interesting crossroads for one MMA competitor on the way up and one definitely on the way down.

A Fitting Tribute

Now THAT'S how you say goodbye to the King of Pop. That's the Top 10 albums on the iTunes Music Store right now.

Weird Day

You know, there are days in writing a blog that you update every day where you just can not figure out what the fuck to write. There are days where there just seems to be absolutely nothing going on to write about. Those are days where you get YouTube videos or random comments about a few bullshit stories.

But good lord has the past couple of days been nutty.

The Shaq deal? The Vince Carter deal? The NBA Draft? Manny in the Minors [great reality series idea!]? And that's just on the sports page.

If you're on the front page, you might read about Iran or North Korea - the latter of which apparently promised to rain nuclear hellfire upon the United States on a moment's notice if they get... what? Offended? Bored? And once again, we see what a friggin' waste of time pissing around in Iraq was while these crazy fucks still get to... oh, I don't know... RUN A FUCKING COUNTRY!

The Entertainment section is a bit of a bummer. Ed McMahon? Dead. Farrah Fawcett? Dead. But while I think it's sad that they're dead for their friends and families as well as all of their fans, those don't really hit me too hard.

But Michael Jackson? Fuuuuuck.

And yes, I spent the bulk of the day fielding really tasteless jokes via text, e-mail, and in person about his death. Yes, some of them were amusing but... man... that shit's harsh. The guy died and there's a slew of child molesting jokes making the rounds before the body's cold.

Whatever. I prefer to think of Michael Jackson as the amazing artist that provided so much brilliant music and inspired so many current and future artists to even get involved in the music business. Sure, he was "eccentric" if you want to be nice and flat out fucking nuts if you're "keepin' it real." But that doesn't take away from the fantastic music he made.

One of my co-workers compared it to the day that Lennon died. Not sure I can disagree a ton with that. It's a huge day in music history and to see it reduced to a bunch of "Ha ha, he fucked kids!" jokes is kind of a bummer.

Not that I'm condoning fucking kids! But... well, maybe Benoit set the bar pretty high for how much of a fuckstain on the sheets of life you have to be before I don't at least think it's a shame you died.

Plus, there's the whole innocent until proven guilty thing that Americans only like to use when it benefits them. The court of public opinion has never believed in such a premise and likely never will.

Eh. Whatever. I'm babbling.

But "Billie Jean" is and always will be one of my favorite songs ever and it makes me sad to think I've forever lost the chance that I might someday get to see it performed live.

Oh, like you wouldn't have gone to see him in concert! Keep telling yourself that.

R.I.P. for the one and only King of Pop.

Blue's Reviews: Party Down

With the X-Box 360 back in play and a free Live membership for a month in hand, I decided it was an opportune time to try and get the 360 on the wireless network again without paying for the ridiculously overpriced Microsoft Wireless Adapter.  With a loaner Airport Extreme and a little more effort than I would've liked, the network had a new addition to the family.  The first thing I wanted to try was not online gaming but rather the Watch Instantly feature on Netflix.


As the kids would say...


OMG!


It's simply awesome to be able to stream movies and TV shows across the 360 and watch them on the television.  One of the first things I had looked for was the Starz series Party Down.  Party Down was of special interest to me since it was co-created by Veronica Mars creator Rob Thomas [no, not THAT Rob Thomas] and featured a lot of the VM stars.  It's kind of a "class reunion" of sorts.


But that's just the hook.  The best part of it is that this comedy series about a bunch of aspiring or failed actors working in a party catering company is actually god damn hilarious.  It has fun characters that you instantly can relate to and develop a feeling one way or another for.  It's got pretty decent storytelling with both the main characters as well as the guest stars involved.  


And in true comedic fashion... it's got the quotables, my favorite of which was a three way tie.


1)  "SNAP, MOTHERFUCKERS!" - So, so simple.  So, so glorious.
2)  "I think they prefer to be called Jigroes" - Hehehehehehehehe.
3)  "Jim Abbott" - 'nuff said.


Now, you're sitting there thinking I'm a tremendous jackass for putting in those quotables and not explaining the context of them, right?


WRONG!


That's my way of getting you to go out and watch Party Down.  If you're a fan of Veronica Mars especially or just a fan of comedy in the vein of The Office but a little bit darker and more cynical, you'll dig it muchly.

Some NBA Stuff

You'd think with the season just ending, we'd have no NBA stuff going on right now but...

Spurs Trade Bowen!
I don't even give a fuck about the rest of the trade but Bowen's gone!  No more fear that Kobe's going to be seriously injured in every Spurs/Lakers game.  No more of this...




Ray Allen On Trade Block
Looks like the Celtics are ready to break down their team already. Ray Allen's on the trading block along with Rajon Rondo as they apparently recently attempted to play Let's Make A Deal with the Pistons, trying to pick up Rip Hamilton among others. Interesting. I can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing.


Phil Wants To Only Coach At Home
...what?

Random Thoughts

Just a few notes on some of my shared Google News from the past few days...

"Moneyball" Apparently Dead

Bah! I knew it was too good to be true. For months, we've been hearing about the plans to turn the book about Billy Beane and his success in rebuilding the Oakland A's time and time again using statistical analysis over more traditional baseball scouting into a "major motion picture." Brad Pitt was attached to star with Steven Soderbergh [did I spell that right?] directing. But as of today, the movie was killed in what appears to be a studio decision regarding a creative conflict. According to the folks at /film, Sony wanted a "more traditional" sports movie out of it. Sometimes I wonder why I aspire to be involved in that business.

Bryan Fuller A Hero No More

Genius scribe Bryan Fuller of Pushing Daisies and Wonderfalls fame returned to Heroes to much ballyhoo late last season, apparently giving the show a much needed creative boost towards its former greatness. In fact, the end of the season got such good buzz, I was thinking of watching the eps I missed this summer. Today, Fuller revealed that he'd be leaving Heroes yet again... and millions of fanboys wept bitter tears.

Pitching, Pitching, Pitching

One look over the weekend at Joe Torre's absolutely brutal handling of the bullpen has Dodger fans getting nervous about stretch time. Apparently Ned Coletti feels the same way and is apparently on the hunt for another starter to boost the rotation. Pedro Martinez seems to not be on the radar at the moment and hasn't been since Spring Training according to Torre. The rumored name of the day? Former Angel Jarrod Washburn. Since I rarely watch AL games, anyone know how Washburn is doing? Personally, I think the bullpen could use an extra bullet stopper or two because with the amount of innings they're getting, an injury seems inevitable to me.

Neve Campbell Too Busy Being Nobody To Film Scream 4

One of the hottest stories as of late has been the potential relaunch of the Scream franchise with three new movies. Wes Craven's been courted to direct with former WCW World Champion David Arquette and Courtney "Hey, Weren't You In Friends?" Cox apparently ready to earn a paycheck as well. It's a new story so it seems a little odd to need the ol' gang again. When news hit that Campbell had turned down the role that made her [sorta] famous, writer Kevin Williamson seemed quite distraught about it, wondering if he could figure out a way to do the story without her. Anyone else thinking she was supposed to be the killer? Yeah, me too.

Jobs Returns As iPhone 3GS Sells Huge

I don't really have anything to add to this but...

Have I Mentioned I Hate Joe Morgan?

Arrogant piece of shit has the gall to say after the Dodgers beat the Angels tonight that "I think people are finally starting to take the Dodgers seriously."

Are you fucking joking?

The team's had the best record in baseball for the majority of the first half of the season.  We're almost to the All-Star Break and they're leading their division by eight games or so.  They thrived when everyone thought they'd fold when Manny went down to suspension.

And yes, "it's still early."  And yes, this could all turn in a hurry but...

Was no one taking the Dodgers seriously all those weeks they were on top of the Power Rankings for Yahoo, ESPN, SI, and all the rest of the top sports news sites?

Fucking Joe Morgan.  I wish the Dodgers would NEVER be shown on ESPN.

I Love Knocking Out Rich Franklin

So, the Red Ring Repaired X-Box 360 returned home a couple of days ago and tonight, I finally had the energy to open it up and re-connect it.  I was greatly surprised to discover that a] it's either a new unit or b] they updated the software for me which is greatly appreciated since I do not have an Internet connection within range of it.  They also tossed in a one month free subscription to X-Box Live for my "troubles" which is kinda nice, I guess, but I can't use it at the moment so it's also useless.

I popped in the UFC game finally that had caused this whole scenario to unfold and was immediately taken aback by how nice the opening sequence was.  The menus were straight forward and I was able to figure out what was going on pretty easily.  I skipped the Tutorial because I'm a guy and we hate learning how to do something before we just try to do it.  Duh.

So, in mere moments, I was in an Exhibition fight at the Light Heavyweight level between Kenny "Ken-Flo" Florian and my opponent - I think it was Thiago Alves?  Can't remember.  This one was a slugfest which I knew it probably shouldn't be but it was all my button mashing would manage.  After a hard-fought first round, I looked up how to do a takedown attempt but I kept getting stuffed with it.  I went back to the punches and kicks and scored with an awesome high kick to floor Mr. Serra and end his night in the third round.

I was overjoyed by how beautiful this game is.  Nicely done characters.  Good textures on the skin tones and the little things like ink, blood, and sweat.  Even the cornermen were holding up sponsor sheets.  I didn't get annoyed by the commentary immediately which gives it a plus from most of the WWE games.

I moved on, determined to do at least one match at every weight level before calling it a night [another 7 AM start at work tomorrow.]  The Welterweight division saw me use BJ Penn to KO Matt Serra in the second round.  The Penn character was pretty dead on while the Serra was not so much.

At Middleweight, I absolutely had no choice but to kill Rich Franklin with Anderson Silva... again.  By this point, I was playing with some of the more advanced offense and was trying to hit the Thai clinched knees.  I could get the clinch with ease but couldn't really take advantage of it.  I threw some knees to the body but couldn't score with the big knees I wanted.  On the break, I snapped off a flying knee that made me freak out but I hit nothing but air.  In the end, a big kick knocked Franklin's mouthpiece out as he hit the mat for the KO.

At Light Heavy, I decided Wanderlei Silva needed to get some shots in.  The computer randomly selected Rampage for the opponent so I was a little worried.  I shouldn't have been.  The Axe Murderer ran right through him, finishing him with strikes on the ground.

At Heavy, I was planning to use Lesnar until my old friend Mirko Cro Cop's name showed up.  Being arguably my favorite fighter, I had to give him a workout.  The computer selected Heath Herring for the slaughter... which came in mere seconds with a brutal left high kick.  God, I loved every moment of it.  Even if it's a video game, it's awesome to see Cro Cop dominate again.

I went back for seconds at heavy, beating Gabriel Gonzaga with Lesnar using strikes on the ground.

All in all, I had a blast in the one hour I played it and I'm looking forward to starting the Career mode on it over the next few days.

Oh, and I think there was a real UFC fight tonight too but I was too busy beating up digital copies of those guys.

Egads

Today was one of the most exhausting days ever. Excuse me if my brain
is melty

Sent from my iPhone

Not Exactly Cain vs Abel... or Kane vs The Undertaker

Just a quick one as I have to be at work in just a handful of hours...

Today, the Dodgers informed Jeff Weaver that he would be starting Saturday's game vs the Angels. This is significant because his little brother Jered will be starting for the Angels making it the first brother vs brother starting pitching duel in several years. When asked for comment, Jeff informed the media that his parents cancelled attending a relative's wedding on Saturday to go to the game instead - which seems a little odd to me unless they're really distant relatives and the Weavers were just looking for an excuse not to go.

The more significant part of the quote was when Jeff basically said that the ideal scenario would be that they'd go out of the game tied and let the bullpens decide the game.

No, jackass. The ideal scenario is that you throw a complete game no-hitter which does not require the bullpen while your brother gets lit up like the sky over Disneyland during fireworks.

Keep your shit together, yo. This is business... it's not personal.

I'm In Love

"Hey Iceman, Tell Me How My Ass Tastes!"

Head hurts. Sleep

Sent from my iPhone

Donald Trump?

I know, I know. I'm supposed to write about the Lakers.

But... well...

Donald Trump?

Lemme explain for those non-wrestling fans on the blog. Tonight on Raw, Vince McMahon announced that he had "sold" Monday Night Raw to Donald Trump for a healthy cash payment. Partially, this was used to explain why next week's Raw is going to be commercial free but... what about the other part?

I'm just not sure where this is going. Does anyone want to see another Vince/Trump feud? I'm all in favor of "selling" Raw to attempt to make more of a split between Smackdown and Raw [especially since Smackdown has been much better lately - does anyone else find it odd that Raw is pretty much the worst show these days?] but I would've liked to see someone who made more sense.

Granted, it's tough to find someone you could sell as having enough money to tempt Vince but all of wrestling involves leaps of logic. Who else would have fit this role well?

Eric Bischoff? Could've been a good time to "relaunch" WCW since the Rise And Fall of WCW DVD is coming out soon. JBL? Hogan? Austin?

How about Floyd Mayweather? He suddenly has some free time on his hands.

Mike Tyson? Okay, maybe not.

There must have been someone else to slot into this role that would've been fun to watch. I just can't see Trump being entertaining for more than a week or two. I guess it depends if they just use him as a figurehead and let the GM he appoints do most of the work. Trump as an occasional "it's a big deal when he shows up" owner could be okay.

I just wish it was more exciting. At least they didn't hype it for more than twenty minutes or so.

A Sigh Of Relief

I'll probably write a little recap tomorrow but for tonight...

Congrats, Lakers.