The Worst Drink Ever

Just a quick post tonight as I just got home and need to get some sleep.

In the lifetime battle to determine the absolute worst alcoholic drink I've ever imbibed, we have a new champion. Tonight, the Missus and I ventured into Hollywood to celebrate her birthday and went to Koji's, a sushi/shabu shabu joint in the Hollywood & Highland shopping area thing. The sushi was good, the shabu shabu was good, the first drink I had was great.

I should have stopped there but instead, I decided to be a little adventurous.

And thus, a new champion is crowned.

The Delta Tau Delta "jungle juice" made out of a vodka with the brand name "La Cadena"? No longer on the radar.

The orange and cream martini I had in San Diego a few years ago that I so colorfully labeled as the Spoogetini because instead of having the splash of cream it advertised, it appeared someone had taken the glass back in the kitchen and... well, you get the point. That drink? Not even close.

Not even the vile concoction that the bartender at Dave & Buster's gave me when I asked for the strongest shot he knew at two minutes before the end of Happy Hour - a hellbeast of a drink known as the Four Horsemen that consisted of one part Jack Daniels, one part Jim Beam, one part Johnny Walker, and one part Jose Cuervo - not even that one registers anymore.

A new champion was crowned tonight in the form of the Sake Martini.

It sounded simple enough.

Vodka + Sake + something called Muddled Cucumber.

I was unsure of it but the Missus assured me that no matter how bad it was, I was sure to be able to drink it.

My brain, feeling 19, agreed. My stomach and liver feeling 31 begged to differ.

First off, it was strong - damn strong. But that's okay. I like my drinks strong usually.

But it was the taste that did me in. The cucumber thing made it bad. But the overabundance of vodka did me in. I couldn't even taste the sake which, in my mind, would have sweetened it up enough to make it drinkable. Instead, it simply tasted like someone had thrown some cucumber into a glass of straight vodka. I just couldn't do it.

I'm not much of a straight hard liquor kind of guy. I like my Jack and Cokes. I like my Screwdrivers. I like my... well, you get the idea. I'm not the guy who orders shots of straight booze typically.

I realize that this statement either a] makes me look really old or b] makes me look like a giant sissy and honestly, I think I'm okay with that assessment.

Hey, if you'd tried to drink that vile shit, you'd be okay with it too. Fuckers.