It's not in Iraq or Afghanistan or Iran but those suck too.
This war is being fought on the streets of America. More specifically, in the board rooms and conference rooms of Hollywood.
It's a war against bad movies and TV shows being made.
For years, I've harped on how, in a world where great TV shows like Firefly and Arrested Development are dumped without a care... where movies like Serenity are ignored by the masses... in this world we live in where it's becoming not only acceptable but cherished to cater to the lowest common denominator...
In this world, when we're shoveled crap... we bathe in it like the finest of champagnes.
In a world where Air Bud not only gets made... but gets sequels approved.
In a world where The Pacifier starring Vin Diesel had to have been discussed in some conference room... and someone thought it sounded like a good idea.
In a world where yesterday morning when I awoke, I was greeted with the news that the Basic Instinct 2 trailer had hit the Internet. Now, if you haven't seen this trailer, you must go watch it immediately.
Imagine, if you will, rapidly aging Sharon Stone looking for one more big payday before her days as a "sex symbol" completely disappear. Ms. Stone has been begged for years by the studio to reprise her Basic Instinct character, thinking it was a surefire hit.
Having seen this trailer, I can safely say this movie is coming about ten years too late.
Imagine Ms. Stone discussing this script with her agent, a bottom-feeder also dying for one last payday... knowing his meal ticket's days are numbered... knowing that if she doesn't drag out her aging body now for this one, she'll never get another chance.
So... the call is made. Sharon, you really need to do this. This is money, baby... serious money. She expresses concern over the amount of nudity she's committing to. The blood-sucking agent tells her, "Well, they've already seen your tits once... they've even seen your hoo-hoo-dilly. If you're gonna do this, you need to _do_ this."
So, she agrees. She agrees to a film where the trailer alone sees her nude a half dozen times. She agrees to a film where in the trailer, she's getting it on with another woman _and_ having a threesome to boot. She agrees to a film that looks so much like the original, it even features the sexually overcharged detective who apparently is screwing someone else at the same time.
It features the end of a career which quite frankly, would have never existed if she wasn't the one willing to give us a upskirt shot of mammoth proportions.
But... if nothing else can be said... at least it doesn't feature a website with this game to promote it.
Stunning, eh?
In a world filled with creatively driven, energetic screenwriters who want nothing more than to inspire... educate... and bring forth another generation of screenwriters looking to do the same. In a world filled with people who'd do anything to break the glass ceiling and get their chance to write Batman Begins Again or Superman Returns Some More. In a world filled with people who just know they've got the next smash hit comedy... if their audience can turn away from Wife Swap to notice them.
In this world of Celebrity Fit Club... of generic Samuel Jackson movies easily mistaken for Shaft until the title comes up... of horrific horror movie remakes like When A Stranger Calls [don't check the children!]... of Freddie Prinze Junior sitcoms... of eight billion versions of CSI and Law & Order... with entire networks dedicated to golf... and yes, with Shelton Benjamin's mama having a heart attack while Randy Orton [on order from the boss] pisses on the memory of Eddie Guerrero...
In this world we live in... there still sits the thimble of taste in the cubicle next to me who can not resist telling us how great White Chicks was... how brilliant Commander In Chief is... how we should all race out to see Final Destination 3 [or whatever shitty horror flick is hitting screens this week]... how nothing is happening on Lost... how he doesn't "get" Arrested Development... The Office... Scrubs... how Survivor is "must see TV" still...
In this world, we are the minority. The taste of the masses deviates to the most inane crap that can be shoveled into the throat and swallowed without thinking.
It is a world where creativity is scorned... where brilliance is ignored... where a good idea is burned through and overused in a heartbeat.
Is is a world where on Friday night, one of the most brilliantly funny TV shows in the past decade or more will come to a crashing halt up against the Winter Olympics opening ceremony in an unhyped, barely mentioned whimper of an exit.
In the end, does anything more than that really need to be said?
Song I'm Listening To Currently: None
Book I'm Reading Currently: "Eragon" by Christopher Paolini (p.450)
Movie I Last Saw In The Theater: Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire [IMAX]
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1 comments:
honestly...honestly...honestly...honestly
i saw the trailer for BI2. We as a movie going society have really hit a low. And who the fcuk is Ms. Stone's fellow actor that is getting dragged in this mess of a movie? Poor schlub- there goes his acting career. I cannot wait for Jade 2 and 16MM, the sequel for 8MM and its sequel. Actually- they might as well have released 8MM 2 to theatres and rebadged it Basic Instinct 2. It would have saved a lot of time and effort.
I did not even hear anything about the AD exit until you emailed me. I am pissed that it's leaving us. And then ABC goes on with a show that is supposed to be like it. What the f*uck happened to originality? I will not judge the show until I see it- so I will leave it at that. BI2 is the exception.
Emily Reasons why the F*ck should we care at all about TV when good shows are getting ditched?
BTW- I like the golf channel.
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