Liveblog: ELECTION DAY!

At long last, it has arrived. I just came back from casting my ballot. Now all we can do is wait.

I'll be glued to CNN all day long so make sure to check back in throughout the day for some crazy Election Day liveblogging!

9:26 - CNN is covering the final election stops for both candidates, trying to get out that message one more time. They're interviewing Jesse Jackson Jr. who apparently is a Congressman from Illinois who is being discussed as Obama's replacement in the Senate if needed. Let's not count our chickens before they're hatched, guys. There are still plenty of ways the Republicans can steal... err, "win"... this election.

9:48 - Don't forget that it's not just about the White House today. The Democrats are also looking to pick up nine Senate seats to have a filibuster-proof majority there. Keep your eyes on all those races as well.

9:59 - The shows are pretty silly right now. Talking about what companies are giving freebies for voting. Having some first time voters leave their comments on the CNN site and showing them. Nothing much of substance yet. No major voting problems yet but CNN does have a hotline you can call if you experience such a problem. That's awesome of them.

10:02 - They're talking about big crowds in some places, huge voter turnout - but sparse crowds in others. That's going to make me nervous. I said this morning that I think high turnout favors Obama because I don't think McCain was motivating people to go register. They're at a poll in Florida with a couple people in line. There was one in Missouri earlier with no one there. They're saying the big counties in Florida are reporting one to two hour lines. We waited 45 minutes or so this morning. STAY IN LINE, PEOPLE! Don't get frustrated and leave because you think your vote won't matter. EVERY VOTE COUNTS!

10:27 - They just showed a woman who videotaped herself as she flipped a coin in her bedroom this morning to decide who to vote for. What a maroon. Oh, but it landed on heads which for her was Obama soooooo... Good job!

10:33 - Report on voting problems nationwide. Some scary stuff. Some mechanical problems, some problems with not being on the voter rolls, some people just bitching about lines. They did note that there is a growing number of voters complaining about coercion. I'm curious to hear more about that. Virginia is having problem with wet ballots because of the rain. They're talking about a polling place where they had 5 of 7 machines break down and had to switch to paper ballots. How the fuck does this stuff happen? Arrrrgh.

10:36 - They're interviewing a family with three generations of African-Americans. Gave me a bit of a chill. The grandmother is crying and saying that God kept her here for a reason and she believes it's so she can see this day. The grandson [named Shaquille by the way!] says that Obama has inspired so many people and has inspired him to try and be a better person. The mother says it's more than just African-Americans though - that Obama is an inspiration to people of all races and ethnicities. You said it, sister.

10:39 - Holy crap! They're projecting that Colorado will have over 90 percent voter turnout. That's nuts. They also say over fifty percent participated in early voting which they think explains the short lines in many places.

11:55 - Not a lot to talk about yet. A McCain rep was just on saying that they'll win Florida, Virginia, and Pennsylvania and that their polling shows them within the margin of error. I know he's paid to say all that but I'm planning on being nervous until it's over. And really over - not Al Gore Wins! over.

12:07 - The first polls close in just under three hours and they're talking about record voter turnout nationwide that they now fear may delay vote counting because of long lines. It could be a long night, people.

12:24 - God, I can't wait for the polls to close. They just spent ten minutes talking about race with some guy who made a poster of Obama as a white guy and McCain being black. I wanted to Van Gogh [or Mick Foley] myself and I truly thought it wasn't going to get any worse - until they just announced that an interview with Joe The Plumber is coming up. Fuuuuuuuuuck! WHERE ARE THE EXIT POLLS?!

12:43 - Seriously, they just did another teaser for the Joe The Plumber interview. SLIT! MY! WRISTS! Oh, here he comes finally. A phone interview! He's too busy to show up live via satellite. I hate this fucker on CNN during the day too. He should probably be doing the weather somewhere. Maybe the Wacky Weekend Weather. He should wear a hat and throw little magnetic suns and stuff at the wall. Joe The Plumber says his principles are why he doesn't want other people's money and WHAT IF?!? WHAT IF?!? Oh my god. The CNN guy told him, "You're nowhere near making that kind of money so why do you care?" His reply is, "So it's okay to go out and rob a bank?" THESE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO VOTE FOR JOHN MCCAIN! The CNN guy is drilling him. This is awesome. Joe says the people who make over $250k shouldn't get taxed more because they've "worked harder in their lives." Wow. This is amazing television suddenly. He's calling the CNN guy "brother" and getting pissy because "you haven't vetted Obama like this!" He's telling the CNN guy to "look up principles in the dictionary and then maybe you'll understand."

12:57 - Uh oh. People having to do provisional ballots in Pennsylvania now. A lady complained about having to do one because she was left off the registration rolls at a place she's been voting at FOR TEN YEARS! How the hell does that happen?

12:58 - Jeremiah Wright ad that has been running all day. "Barack Obama. Too Radical, Too Risky." Also features the catchy catchphrase "Hate He Can Believe In." Mudslinging fuckers. There's a special level of Hell reserved for those fuckers, I tell ya!

1:07 - A comment went across the scrawl that said, "WRITE IN HILLARY CLINTON!!! SHE SHOULD BE THE DEMOCRATIC NOMINEE!!!" It's funny - I didn't know my Mom knew how to send comments to CNN.

1:23 - Apparently the first batch of exit polls are going to be covered within the hour. Wolf Blitzer has taken over now so I'm much happier. They're talking with an Obama senior adviser now who is... well, talking about Obama playing basketball. Anything for a story today, I guess.

1:26 - MAGIC WALL~! First appearance of the night. It truly is Election Night now.

1:57 - 2 1/2 hour wait to vote in Miami. Hopefully there's no chad a-danglin'. There's also a report of a hoax text message that says, "Due to long lines today, all Obama votes are asked to vote on Wednesday. Thank you." Who the fuck believes shit like that? Honestly, if they didn't all seem to be targeted towards Democrats, I'd hold up the belief that anyone who falls for that doesn't deserve to vote to begin with. But... well, yeah. Go vote, dummy!

2:10 - EXIT POLLS! The Economy is the #1 issue with 62 percent of voters - big shock. Iraq is 10 percent. Terrorism is 9 percent. Health care is 9 percent. They're talking about how exit polling works. Fascinating stuff there. Under one hour til the first polls close. No exit polling on Early Voting or Mail-In Voting. They did some phone polling on those voters though. That's all so far. Losers. 3 hour lines in Orlando. DON'T GIVE UP, PEOPLE! STAY IN LINE!

2:17 - MORE EXIT POLLS! Huh. So in almost every state with exit polls in, people who were concerned about Iraq voted for Obama. That's a surprise for McCain, I bet. That's kinda interesting but it hardly qualifies as "BREAKING NEWS" like Wolf sold us on. Oh, joy... we're going to Alaska! The poor bastard they sent to Alaska looks like he's freezing his balls off. It's apparently 9 degrees. She "hopes, prays, and believes" she'll win. Awesome. They asked her if she voted for Senator Ted Stevens who was convicted on corruption charges recently. Her response? "I don't have to tell anyone who I voted for." Now they're showing the Clintons voting. Bill says he feels great about what Hillary did. Wow. Hillary has crazy bags under her eyes. She looks awful. Oh, Fox News said earlier that the Clintons may have voted for McCain. Nothing like trying for one last ditch effort to divide the party. Fuckers.

2:27 - I love CNN's "Fact" section on the crawl. "FACT: If Barack Obama wins, he'll become the first African-American president." No shit? I wish someone had said something before. "FACT: If John McCain wins, he'll be the first President from Arizona." Fascinating.

2:30 - Of United States voters whose vote was driven by terrorism being their top concern, 86 percent voted for McCain. Luckily, only 9 percent marked that as their top issue nationwide. Giuliani is... IN... THE... HOUSE! Less than 30 minutes til the first polls close. Rudy says the Republicans have "lost part of their brand" since they're no longer the "small government, low spending" party in reality. He wants to re-establish that to "win back the base."

2:40 - More voting problems. 3,000 calls in the last hour. Norfolk, Virginia has lines of 5 to 7 hours with reports of people leaving the polls. DO! NOT! LEAVE! Take a book. Take your iPod! Come on, people. What's more important? Five hours of your life watching reality TV or voting in potentially the most important election of your life. EXIT POLLS~! People who describe themselves as "New Voters" are 72 percent in favor of Obama. Good news.

2:50 - Awesome. Robocalls in Spanish announcing that Fidel Castro is endorsing Obama and that you should "vote right now for John McCain" to spite Castro. This was a robocall that just started going out to Cubans in Miami - talk about late campaigning. Oh, and it's not some generic PAC doing it. That's an official McCain/Palin call. You stay classy, Wasilla.

3:01 - POLLS CLOSE! Some polls have closed in parts of Indiana and... somewhere else. Missed it. We're waiting for the first batch of poll results. EXIT POLLS~! Here's the big one. Economy. 93 percent say the economy is "not so good" or "poor." 70 percent believe Obama will raise their taxes. 61 on McCain. That didn't show us much. Kentucky is the other place where some polls closed. Less than an hour for more polls to close! Awww yeah. It's getting exciting now!

3:23 - Kentucky is 61 to 37 for McCain with 0% reporting for 8 electoral votes. The first state to start reporting.

4:07 - Had some cable trouble. Figures, right? So, apparently Kentucky's been called for McCain and Vermont to Obama to put us at 8-3 so far. Anderson Cooper has taken over now and has the full panel with him. They're talking about the Senate races right now. They're also showing McCain up in Indiana at this point but haven't called it.

4:14 - They've got Obama up by one point in Indiana with 7 percent in. McCain's up by 11 points in Virginia with 1 percent in. Those are both pretty important battleground states.

4:16 - WHAT. THE. FUCK. They have some chick in the studio via hologram. It's fucking weird. Just when I thought the Magic Wall and the floating pie chart of doom was bad enough - this takes the cake. This is on the level of Celine Dion doing a duet with Elvis on Idol.

4:!9 - McCain 8 - Obama 3. McCain up by 8 in Florida with 0 percent in. Indiana is back in McCain's column by 1 point with 9 percent in.

4:21 - The Indiana gov race is over and the Republican won big. I have to think that's a bad sign for Obama's chances there. Obama closes Virginia to 6 points with 2 percent in.

4:24 - Florida - 8 point lead for McCain with 0 percent in. Virginia - 7 point lead for McCain with 2 percent in. Indiana - McCain with a 3 point lead with 12 percent in. Bad news so far but "it's still early." The Magic Wall says only rural areas in Virginia have reported anything so far. They're looking at Indiana 4 years ago which was mostly red - so far that's changing so there's hope. The Magic Wall says Obama is running stronger than Kerry in Indiana so far.

4:30 - Virginia is back to 8 points with 3 percent reporting. North Carolina, Ohio, and West Virginia are closing their polls right now. Two of those are very big. Florida - Obama has pulled out to a 14 point lead with 1 percent reporting. Virginia - McCain is up 12 points now with 3 percent in. Mccain has pulled back out to 5 points in Indiana with 14 percent responding. Of course, now they noticed that Florida's numbers don't add up so they're checking.

4:38 - North Carolina - Obama up by 3 points with 0 percent reporting. Florida - Obama up by 14 with 2 percent reporting. Indiana - McCain up by 3 points with 19 percent reporting, a 17,000 vote difference. Obama leading by 3 points on the nationwide popular vote with 1 percent reporting.

4:44 -
Florida - Obama up 10 points with 4 percent reporting
North Carolina - Obama up 1 point with 0 percent reporting
Indiana - McCain up 3 points with 21 percent reporting
Georgia - McCain up 41 points with 1 percent reporting
So, some mixed news there. They're showing the big event that Obama has planned at Grant Park in Chicago right now. I read that they hired the organizers for Lollapalooza at the same venue to plan it. I sure hope they have something to celebrate tonight. 15 more states are about to have their polls close as well. Anderson Cooper is putting over how awesome the hologram thing was - riiiiight.

4:51 - I've gotta admit. CNN is awesome for leaving the crawl up during commercials. I'm not getting much out of it being in HD but at least there's that. Weird thing is that when a local commercial comes on, the crawl drops out. Lame.

4:54
Less than 7 minutes for another 16 polls to close. MAGIC WALL~! Indiana is up to 26 percent reporting. Obama is taking more areas than Kerry did by far but will it be enough? He's also outperforming Kerry in areas he's losing. South Carolina just got projected for McCain even though Obama is leading by 11 points. That means...

John McCain - 16 Electoral Votes to Barack Obama - 3 Electoral Votes

4:58 - 2 minutes til more polls close. Wolf says there will be projections almost immediately on some of these. IT'S SO EXCITING! 90 seconds! They're discussing how they can call SC when Obama is leading. It's all off exit polls. Back to Wolf... 3...2... 1...PROJECTIONS! CNN calls Mass, Illinois, Connecticut, New Jersey, Maine, Delaware, Maryland, and DC for Obama. Good grief. They call Oklahoma and Tennessee for McCain. When all is said and done...

Barack Obama - 77 Electoral Votes to John McCain - 34 Electoral Votes

5:02 - I can't believe how many projections they do just off exit polls. Unbelievable. Back to exit poll info. McCain got 71 percent of white votes in SC. 84 percent from evangelicals. Shocker, I know. They haven't called any Senate races yet that I know of. The chart still shows the Dems with a 41-27 lead in the Senate.

Florida - Obama up by 10 with 17 percent reporting
Virginia - McCain up by 13 with 19 percent in
NC - Obama up by 24 points with 2 percent in

5:12
Okay... how can I not put this in here?

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

5:14
Ohio - Obama up by 37 points with 1 percent reporting
West Virginia - Obama up by 13 points with 0 percent reporting
Georgia - McCain up by 27 points with 4 percent reporting
NH - Obama up by 15 points with 5 percent reporting

5:18
Florida - Obama up by 6 points with 30 percent in
NC - Obama up by 17 points with 5 percent in
Indiana - McCain up by 3 points with 35 percent in
Virginia - McCain up by 13 points with 28 percent in
Wow, Obama's chief campaign strategist is being interviewed. He's got a vicious combover and really kills the vision of Obama having all these young, hip, stylish people guiding him through the campaign. Wait. I was the only one who had that vision? Fuck.

5:30
PROJECTION!
New Hampshire goes to Obama with 4 electoral votes

Barack Obama - 81 Electoral Votes to John McCain - 34 Electoral Votes

Some Senate updates - Dems pick up Virginia, getting close in Kentucky, winning big in NC so far, winning nicely in NH right now as well. It's looking good so far. Keep your fingers crossed.

5:40
PROJECTION!
OBAMA TAKES PENNSYLVANIA!
So, the last ditch effort to snag Pennsylvania by the Republicans didn't pan out. And I'm pretty sure it was the state that McCain supporters were saying they HAD to win to stand a chance.

Barack Obama - 102 Electoral Votes to John McCain - 34 Electoral Votes

Whoa. There's a big gathering of people in Times Square watching the results come in. That's so awesome.

5:50 - The Senate chart shows 47 for the Dems and 30 for the Repubs. There's still hope there too. The panel says paths to victory for McCain are running low.

PROJECTION!
HAHA! That psycho nutjob Elizabeth Dole just got knocked out of her Senate seat. Who's "godless" now, bitch?

5:55 - 5 minutes to go for another big batch of states' polls to close.

5:58 - McCain takes Alabama even though he's currently losing.

Barack Obama - 102 Electoral Votes to John McCain - 43 Electoral Votes

More projections coming in one minute!

6:00
PROJECTIONS!
Obama takes Rhode Island, Michigan, Wisconsin, Minnesota, New York
McCain takes Wyoming and North Dakota

Barack Obama - 174 Electoral Votes to John McCain - 49 Electoral Votes

6:13
McCain takes Georgia
Barack Obama - 174 Electoral Votes to John McCain - 64 Electoral Votes

6:21
Senate checks in at 52 to 35. Now the Dems need 8 out of 13 seats to get the 60.

6:23
PROJECTION!
McCain takes West Virginia

Barack Obama - 174 Electoral Votes to John McCain - 69 Electoral Votes

6:34
PROJECTION!
Obama takes Ohio! That's a big one! With 20 more votes, that takes the magic number down to 76.

Barack Obama - 194 Electoral Votes to John McCain - 69 Electoral Votes

6:35 - There's never been a Republican to win the White House without winning Ohio. That's a good sign. It's a stark contrast when they go between the two campaigns' events for tonight. While Obama's event has packed thousands into this huge park with this massive stage, McCain's in a small ballroom in Arizona where we've seen the Phoenix Boys Choir and Hank Williams Jr. perform.

6:43
Senate Update - The Republicans pick up another one. 52 to 36. That window is growing narrow.

6:48
Obams takes New Mexico, McCain takes Louisiana
Barack Obama - 199 Electoral Votes to John McCain - 78 Electoral Votes

6:53
They just showed the popular vote and discussed it. Very close right now. I'd imagine the West Coast should put some distance between the two - I hope anyways. The last thing the Dems want is an Electoral win but a popular loss. I don't think that's likely to happen but even if it's close...

7:00
PROJECTIONS!
Obama takes Iowa, McCain takes Utah and Kansas
Barack Obama - 206 Electoral Votes to John McCain - 89 Electoral Votes
Senate Update - 54 to 36 - a crack in the window. They need to take 6 of the last 10.

7:11
PROJECTION!
McCain takes Arkansas
Barack Obama - 207 Electoral Votes to John McCain - 95 Electoral Votes

7:19
PROJECTION!
McCain takes Texas
Barack Obama - 207 Electoral Votes to John McCain - 129 Electoral Votes
That's a big one but unless California somehow flew off the handle - we should be safe.

7:24
PROJECTION!
McCain takes Mississippi
Barack Obama - 207 Electoral Votes to John McCain - 135 Electoral Votes

7:58
PROJECTION!
Obama takes Virginia!
Barack Obama - 220 Electoral Votes to John McCain - 135 Electoral Votes

Here comes the closing of the CA polls. This should do it.

8:00
PROJECTION!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
OBAMA WINS! OBAMA WINS! OBAMA WINS!

8:12
There was a lot of talk this morning about the full page ad that CNN took out in the NY Times today. I thought it was amazingly awesome and wanted to share it in this fantastic moment.

There is a moment, a simple moment, before history gets recorded.
Before it goes in the books.
Before it appears as a question on a game show.
Or on a midterm exam.
A moment right before the headline is written.
There is a moment when history lives in the present.
When we can watch it unfold in real time, right before our eyes.
And we can all assume our place in it.
Some people live for history.
We live for the moment just before.

8:20
McCain coming out to concede... to the music from Days Of Thunder. That's a WTF?! moment.

8:30
McCain leaves to the Crimson Tide theme. Someone bought the Bruckheimer soundtrack boxset for Halloween.

8:50
Awesome post at the LAist

Other than elementary schools, it seems like all of our nation's polling places are in church halls. Is this a violation of church and state? Is it Christian hubris?

On one level it is insulting to people of other faiths who may not feel comfortable in such close proximity to Jesus. How would many of these Christians feel if they had to go vote inside a Wiccan circle? Or at the Church of Satan?

But there is also a part of me that loves it. A part of me says, "Suck it, right-wing Christians! I just voted for sodomy and killing babies! In your face!!!"

9:17
Wow.

10:38
With the champagne [Prosecco actually] bottle empty and the stark reality that it doesn't look like the Dems will be able to snag the 60 seats in the Senate, let's take a look at one of the last issues that I actually give a damn about.

With 32 percent reporting in California, Prop 8 is winning - that's bad for those who can't keep it straight [no pun intended.] Yes On 8 has a six point lead. It's not over yet! Keep the faith, my friends. CNN's exit polls look pretty good for those of us rooting the other direction.

11:18
Man, post-victory election coverage can be a real downer. It feels like CNN has spent the last two hours running down all the reasons why Obama will be a failure. I'm glad I drank or I'd probably be really pissed off.

By the way, with 41 percent reporting, Yes On 8's lead is down to four points. We're getting closer!

The horrible thing is that similar propositions have passed in Arizona and Florida tonight as well as an absolutely despicable measure in Arkansas that banned gay couples from adopting children. On a night where we all should be very proud to be Americans, there have been some measures passed tonight that really make me disgusted to be a part of this society.

11:48
So, Alaska's criminal Senator is currently winning his race.

...

Tells you a lot about Alaska's taste in politicians, eh? You betcha. Anyone else feel nauseous when they were talking about Palin being the "front-runner" for the Republican nominee for 2012? I just can't believe someone can say that with a straight face but with her appeal to the conservative base, if they can enough "popular" conservative issues [gay marriage, abortion, etc.] on swing states, anything can happen.

Speaking of gay marriage, with 49 percent of precincts reporting, Yes On 8 is up by six points again. As I did a little digging to see which counties had already reported in large amounts, I started to get a little nervous. Unfortunately, I don't think I'll be surprised if this passes tonight - sickened, annoyed, embarrassed, outraged, and more... but not surprised. This is one of those "hope for the best but prepare for the worst" moments, I think.

11:56
Wolf Blitzer and Anderson Cooper are signing off for the night - I think I'm about to as well. I'll probably keep the TV on until I fall asleep to see if I can catch any more details but they don't expect to have final results on the Senate races until tomorrow or later at this point. Prop 8 will probably come in in the next hour or two but since I'm working tomorrow, I think I'll bow out of my election reporting.

It's been a lot of fun watching all of this unfold and I'm beyond ecstatic that the candidate I've supported and talked up for so long now has won the highest office in the land. I'm disappointed by some of the other outcomes - the apparent failure to gain 60 Senate seats, the sickening message sent by some of the American public regarding gay marriage and gay adoption, a few others come to mind as well. But on the whole, I have to be optimistic for the future. I have to have hope and faith that the candidate I put my support behind can make the change he has promised for so long.

I hope you all got out and voted today. No matter who you voted for, I hope you went out and exercised your right and, quite frankly, your duty as an American. It was an awesome day for all of us - a historic day that few of us are likely to forget anytime soon.

That's right. JOE THE PLUMBER GOT OWNED!

...

Oh yeah, that Obama guy won too.

Yes we can? Yes we did.