THROUGH HELLFIRE AND BRIMSTONE!

For a few hours today, the most exciting piece of news I'd seen all day - and yes, this does come on a day when the President was about three miles from my workplace - was the following...

March 17, 2009
DETROIT, MI - Former UFC Heavyweight Champion, Tim Sylvia was involved in a fight at a bar in downtown Detroit Michigan with 7 foot, 320 pound WWE Superstar, Glen 'Kane' Jacobs.

No details are currently being released on how the fight started. A witness says the two were arguing and Tim Sylvia instigated the fight. Jacobs quickly took Sylvia to the ground and repeatedly punched him in the face. The bartender along with a bystander helped pull Jacobs off Sylvia. Sylvia was said to have suffered a broken nose and a black eye.

The police were notified but since the fight was not prolonged and neither men wanted to press any charges, no arrests were made. Sylvia was driven by a friend who was with him to the hospital to treat the broken nose. Glen Jacobs left the scene with his wife shortly after.

More details to be released as they come in.

In the end, this story seems to have been debunked as a total falsehood but for a few fleeting hours, I enjoyed the hell out of the thought of the Big Red Machine wrapping that gloved hand around Tim Sylvia's throat and chokeslamming him through a couple bar stools.

So, before you go to bed tonight, if you can slip in a little prayer that this story turns out to be completely and totally true, it would be a tremendous help.

Thanks! TTFN!