More Posts For Posting's Sake

Forgive me. I'm feeling a little drained today. Why, you ask? I give a three part answer.

1) I was up til around 3:30 AM because I had a sudden burst of desire to try and adapt a book into a screenplay. Since I openly admitted that I've been having a lack of inspiration on that front, I seized the moment when I felt it and stayed up until I was about to drop.

2) One of the good things about being unemployed is that you can pretty much do anything at any point. What I mean by that is, for example, if you know the post office is crowded at a certain time of day, you're pretty much free to go at any other time of day you want. So, when I realized this morning that I needed to go to the bank, Juice It Up, and Trader Joe's... I knew I could go at any point today to avoid the crowds. And when does my dumbass go? Noon on the dot. Ugh. Although, I do have to admit it was pretty fun to be bumming around in my sandals and Dodger hat while all the businessmen in their suits were rushing to get through their one hour break.

3] Building off #2, I went to the gym at about 5:30 PM. At our gym, there are three treadmills... with usually anywhere between zero and one taken. Rarely two... and never three. On this night when I strolled in, all three were taken by three friends who decided to go to the gym together. It's all good. I decided to use the bike instead. All was perfectly fine for about ten minutes until I noticed the girl in the middle get off her treadmill and go outside to use her phone. I paused to watch, wondering if her treadmill was going to be free but then saw her friends wave away someone else who wanted to use it. She came back in and got on it so I shrugged it off. Then I notice she's walking very slowly on it... then I notice she's texting while walking very slowly... then I notice she's doing a Rubix Cube while she's walking very slowly on it. I start to get annoyed... but I don't want to be that guy... you know that guy. Then she changes all three TVs to some vapid MTV reality dating show... with absolutely no redeeming qualities at all. Great. I was listening to my iPod so I was still shrugging it off.

Then she starts walking backwards on the treadmill.

Then she jumps off, gets behind her friend, puts her hands on her friend's waist and starts walking with her.

Then she gets back on her own and decides to hang on to the heart rate monitor bar, puts her feet on the plastic belt guard thing, and hangs backwards to let the belt drag against her feet.

Then I notice she's not wearing shoes.

And while I still don't want to say anything because now my workout's almost over and I still don't want to be that guy... it's at this point that I start wishing physical harm on this girl. Like something "tragic" where her toes get caught under the belt and the belt pulls her underneath and somehow she ends up like that guy who goes under the rock crusher in Temple of Doom leaving nothing but a bloody streak behind.

Does that make me a bad person?

Does it help if I point out it's at this point that I notice she's wearing a sorority sweatshirt?

I knew it would!

See, while there's many things I despise about the collegiate Greek system, one of the main ones that continue to affect us all is their tendency to spit out their members into society as self-involved, self-centered, egotistical, materialistic pieces of worm-ridden filth that aren't worthy of sharing oxygen with most of us.

It's a little too much generalization, I know, but dammit, I keep it real, yo.

I'm sure I was supposed to feel better about the situation when she left, walking over to give me the remote to the TVs so I could finally watch ESPN for the last ten minutes of my workout but I don't.

There's a serious scholastic study to be done about the social relevance and contribution to society of members spit out of the Greek system. I'm not the person to do said study because it would turn into a real life Sweeney Todd... but someone should do it.