Think It Over... Creep.

Don't worry. I've still got a Top 5 Friday for you later today [and I think it's a pretty good one] but I just this from our friends at AICN and had to comment.

What the hell is with the movie and TV industries these days?

I know that seems to be a frequent topic around here but as a struggling and aspiring writer, it's painful to see dreck after dreck after dreck green-lighted while I chip away at something new and fresh and fun. See, if I was already successful at this career path, I could just rip off something already out there and be a millionaire overnight [that little faggot's got his own jet airplane... that little faggot he's a millionaire... we got to install- never mind.]

I really don't get it. I don't understand why it's so difficult for Hollywood to embrace new ideas. I understand why from a business aspect, I suppose... the devil you know and all. But creatively, it's a nightmare. You saw my post last night about a relaunch of Beverly Hills 90210. It's a perfect example. It's just the brand name they want. As you read more and more about it, it becomes more and more apparent they plan to start fresh with completely new characters. Then why call it 90210? Branding. It's a familiar brand to people and it's a blatant attempt to cash in on the good will of fans of the first show.

Want some more?

What about the piles of remakes and sequels that are filling up the slates of every movie studio [and some TV studios - Bionic Woman, anyone?] in town?

Take a look at this snippet from an MGM press release...

"MGM is planning an exciting fall and winter release schedule. In partnership with Sony Pictures Entertainment, MGM will bring new installments of two of its tentpole franchises -- the new James Bond movie QUANTUM OF SOLACE and Steve Martin in PINK PANTHER 2. MGM will also release United Artists' international thriller VALKYRIE, starring Tom Cruise on October 3. With the appointment of Parent, MGM will enter its new phase of evolution by focusing on its major movie franchises highlighted by JAMES BOND and PINK PANTHER sequels, THE HOBBIT, THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR 2, THE OUTER LIMITS, ROBOCOP, DEATH WISH and FAME, among others."

Okay... so, another Bond. That's fine. Casino Royale was a lot of fun so they earned some street cred from me on that one. Pink Panther 2?! Did anyone even see Pink Panther 1?! I have yet to ever have a conversation with anyone in the world that contained the phrase, "Hey, you really should check out the Pink Panther movie!" So, in that one we have a sequel to a franchise that probably should have been left alone.

The Hobbit? No complaints there.

Thomas Crown Affair 2? What the fuck? Was there some great untold story in the life of Thomas Crown that I missed in the first one? I won't completely shat on this one because I dug the first one... although that in itself is a remake. Sequels to remakes... what will they think of next?

FAME?! You're re-doing FAME?! Let me guess. It'll be "modernized" into a "Step Up 2" style plot line. Awesome. We don't have enough dance crew movies and TV shows. It's soddin' brilliant, mate.

I'm going to ignore the other two in favor of going...



WHY IN THE HOLY FUCK WOULD YOU GO BACK TO ROBOCOP?!

There are two possibilities here. They're going to slightly piss me off by going back and doing another sequel to a movie that had two too many shitty sequels OR they're going to SEVERELY piss me off and go back and remake one of the most picture perfect action movies ever. Either way, it's enough to make you want to track down MGM's studio head and give him a, "Dead or alive, you're coming with me."

And now to add on to the, "What the fuck?" for the day.

Thanks to AICN, I also discovered that NBC is close to green-lighting a show where Christian Slater plays a dual personality... a Jekyll/Hyde thing where one personality is a nice, kind stay at home dad versus a superspy. Oooookay. And to top it off, this is operating under NBC's new policy of not needing a pilot to approve the series. Really? You sure you want to do that, guys? Christian Slater rules the world and all but... seriously?

And the icing on the cake. FOX is close to greenlighting a new animated series by the creator of the brilliant Arrested Development. But before they do, the entire future of that series will be decided by the network suits watching a reading of the show's script by the cast.

...

An animated series... being judged on a cast reading.

I don't even know where to start with that.

And so I won't!