Booking The Rumble

I couldn't get the Rumble out of my head last night after my picks post. So, I decided I'd write up a little bit of fantasy booking for the 2008 Royal Rumble. This'll probably get pretty lengthy so bear with me...

Show opens with the traditional hype piece putting over the Rumble and all the people who've gone on to win the World Title at Mania after winning the Rumble.

Pyro and ballyhoo!

MVP vs Flair kicks off the show. It's a sprint with a lot of near falls by MVP before a ref bump. Matt Hardy runs in, Twist of Fate, Flair gets the pin to avoid having to retire in about 12 minutes.

Backstage bit with Jeff and Matt Hardy. Matt tells Jeff to take the title from Orton for him and reminds him that he gets the first shot. Jeff promises to "take it to the extreme" to win the gold. Edge walks in on the brothers and makes a few negative comments before excusing himself for his title match.

Smackdown Title Match - Edge vs Rey Misterio Jr.
This should be a great match. The story of the match should be Edge using the Edgeheads to his advantage and Rey Jr. fighting a numbers game. Vickie should also be at ringside. At a key point about 3/4 through the match, Rey should go for a big dive onto the Edgeheads... who spill into Vickie, taking her out too. The Edgeheads take Vickie to the locker room, leaving it one on one. Lots of Rey Jr. nearfalls culminate in a ducked 619 turned into a schoolboy with the feet on the ropes for an old school heel victory in about 19 minutes.

Backstage piece with Vince in Flair's locker room. Flair looks exhausted. Vince congratulates him on his win over MVP but informs him that he's signed another Career Threatening match for him for tomorrow night on Raw... against a mystery opponent. "So, I hope you're feeling up to it after tonight. Cause you see, there's still a few spots left in the Rumble... and one of them is yours. But don't worry. Your career's not on the line in the Rumble... just what's left of your body."

Backstage piece with people drawing numbers. Santino makes Maria pick for him and seems happy with his pick. Holly and Rhodes make their picks and Holly slaps him hard on the chest with a "See you out there, partner." Chuck Palumbo makes his pick, Noble charges in and jumps him. Total brawl in the picking room knocking over the number holder as we cut back to ringside.

JBL/Jericho hype piece.

Chris Jericho vs JBL
Super elaborate JBL entrance. Total brawl from the get-go. All over the place. The ref "uses discretion" to let it go. JBL gets the camera cable to "hang" Jericho again but Chris fights back, gets the cable, and gets the DQ when he won't let go of JBL. Jericho has to be dragged off of JBL to end the match in about 11 minutes.

Backstage piece with Vince screaming at the GMs about being unable to control their talent. Points out the Palumbo/Noble brawl and what just happened with Jericho as evidence. He's ranting and raving... Triple H enters. Triple H makes his pick and smirks... insulting Vince as he leaves. HBK enters, rinse and repeat. Ron Simmons makes his pick as does Foley and Batista, both who take verbal shots at Vince before the leave which gets us a "DAMN!" before we go back to the ring.

Raw Title Match - Randy Orton vs Jeff Hardy
One of the most eagerly anticipated title matches in a long time should live up to the hype. We should see Orton dominate the majority of the match after a missed high-risk move. But Jeff should just keep kicking out. RKO... foot on the ropes. Head kick avoided for a rollup, etc. In the end, Jeff should hit the Twist of Fate, hit the Swanton, but Randy pops a shoulder out just in time. Jeff goes to the floor, pulls out a ladder. JR/King question the legality of a ladder being used if he doesn't hit Orton with it. Jeff leaps off the ladder for a Swanton, comes up empty. Randy throws an arm over him to barely escape with the World Title. I really want Jeff to win but I'll sacrifice it for what's to come. [SIDE NOTE: I'd have Orton declare on Raw the next night that Jeff Hardy is a menace to society and that he will never receive another World Title shot at Orton. This should lead nicely to Hardy continuing his hot streak and being the obvious top challenger but having to win Money In The Bank to get his title shot (which he would of course)]

Backstage, Vince is giving Hornswoggle a "peptalk" when Finlay enters. Finlay reminds Vince of their deal - Vince flips his shit. Khali comes to make his pick, leaves. Henry/BDV come to make their pick, Hornswoggle hides behind Finlay. Vince says it's going to be an interesting night. Finlay/Hornswoggle leave. Regal rushes in to tell Vince that "he's here... Triple H doesn't stand a chance now." Vince gets the big grin and says, "It's going to be a VERY interesting night."

RUMBLE!

Fink goes over the rules, both feet touch the floor, over the top, etc. EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF! And the man who drew #1...

#1 - Bob Holly
JR/Tazz are the announcers for it. JR puts over how tough Holly is and if anyone could go "coast to coast", it would be him. Tazz points out that people have won it from the #1 spot before.

#2 - Cody Rhodes
Cody looks exciting but a little nervous as Holly starts pacing the ring. The tag champs square off and Cody offers a handshake as the bell rings... only to get chopped down to the mat. Holly beats down Cody for a bit but Cody fires back. They trade near eliminations as the countdown starts.

#3 - The Miz
Miz walks right into a beatdown from the Raw tag champs. No offense at all from the Miz but he manages to avoid being eliminated as the countdown starts.

In The Ring: Holly, Rhodes, Miz

#4 - John Morrison
JR questions the wisdom of the slo-mo entrance when his tag partner is about to be eliminated. Morrison eventually reaches the ring and helps the Miz. A nice little squareoff between the two tag champs is a stalemate as the countdown starts up. Tazz speculates that someone will tip the balance here.

In The Ring: Holly, Rhodes, Miz, Morrison

#5 - Tommy Dreamer
Dreamer races in and true to "Every man for himself" take a shot at each of the four men in there. JR questions the wisdom of that strategy. Tommy working over the Miz in the corner as Rhodes/Holly works on Morrison, trying to push him out.

In The Ring: Holly, Rhodes, Miz, Morrison, Dreamer

#6 - Kane
The Big Red Machine hits the ring, immediately throws out Tommy and The Miz. Holly follows shortly after. Cody/Morrison working together to try and toss Kane as the countdown starts.

In The Ring: Rhodes, Morrison, Kane

#7 - Mark Henry
Henry joins the fray, tossing Rhodes/Morrison aside to beat down Kane. The two big men beat the hell out of each other as Morrison bumps all over the place making Cody look like a king.

In The Ring: Rhodes, Morrison, Kane, Henry

#8 - Big Daddy V
BDV makes an immediate impact, tossing both Rhodes and Morrison to the floor. Henry/BDV working over Kane with big power moves.

In The Ring: Kane, Henry, BDV

#9 - Ron Simmons
Simmons gets a brief power rally, even hitting the spinebuster on Henry but gets leveled from behind by BDV, gets an elbow dropped on him and tossed to the floor. Big splash on Kane as the time ticks down.

In The Ring: Kane, Henry, BDV

#10 - The Undertaker
Crowd goes apeshit for Taker as he hits the ring, working on both Henry and BDV. Kane eventually rallies to his feet and the Brothers of Destruction tee off on Striker's boys.

In The Ring: Kane, Henry, BDV, Taker

#11 - Snitzky
Snitzky joins in on the side of Striker's boys, helping work over Kane and Taker.

In The Ring: Kane, Henry, BDV, Taker, Snitzky

#12 - Ric Flair
Flair walks into the lion's den with so many big bodies in the ring. JR talks about how Flair went the hour in the past but Tazz points out how long ago it was. Flair looks weary already but he goes immediately into action with chops on any open chest. Gets caught by a big boot from Snitzky to cut off the offense as time ticks down.

In The Ring: Kane, Henry, BDV, Taker, Snitzky, Flair

#13 - Sgt. Slaughter
Slaughter gets a huge pop as he slowly makes his way to the ring, immediately hitting offense on the heels. Hooking the Cobra Clutch on Snitzky... Flair tosses them both from behind. Turns around to a goozle from Taker... Flair drops to a knee and low blows Taker.

In The Ring: Kane, Henry, BDV, Taker, Flair

#14 - Mr. Kennedy
Kennedy takes a shot at anyone standing, totally disregarding any potential allies. Suddenly, he finds himself ganged up on by all five. Kane chokeslams, Henry powerslams, BDV drops an elbow, Flair drops a knee. Taker picks up for the Tombstone as the countdown starts.

In The Ring: Kane, Henry, BDV, Taker, Flair, Kennedy

#15 - MVP
MVP sprints to the ring and goes after Flair. Everyone pairs off for a while with Henry/BDV trying to push Kane over the top.

In The Ring: Kane, Henry, BDV, Taker, Flair, Kennedy, MVP

#16 - CM Punk
Punk goes after MVP, saving Flair, some offense on MVP and Kennedy but gets caught from behind by BDV as Taker saves Kane. Taker/Kane double-up on Henry, throwing him from the ring with a double chokeslammish move.

In The Ring: Kane, BDV, Taker, Flair, Kennedy, MVP, CM Punk

#17 - Shawn Michaels
Michaels tears into action, hitting SCM on Kane to eliminate him. Hits one on MVP to knock him over the top but he skins the cat to get back in. Kennedy clips him from behind, beating him down. As the countdown starts, Taker and Punk are working on BDV, Kennedy's working over HBK, MVP and Flair are going at it.

In The Ring: BDV, Taker, Flair, Kennedy, MVP, CM Punk, HBK

#18 - Finlay
Finlay enters the ring as a house of fire, saving Flair and sending MVP out to the floor. He helps Taker/Punk with BDV as the countdown starts.

In The Ring: BDV, Taker, Flair, Kennedy, CM Punk, HBK, Finlay

#19 - Great Khali
Khali levels people with the big chop until he's standing all alone. He tries to toss HBK but Punk and Flair help. Taker and BDV working each other over again. Kennedy tries to help Khali but gets thrown aside for his help.

In The Ring: BDV, Taker, Flair, Kennedy, CM Punk, HBK, Finlay, Khali

#20 - Triple H
HHH is in a fury as he hits the ring, immediately drills everyone in the ring save HBK and Flair. HBK grabs a wobbly Kennedy and hurls him over the ropes to the floor. Triple H and Khali going at it as the countdown goes.

In The Ring: BDV, Taker, Flair, CM Punk, HBK, Finlay, Khali, HHH

#21 - Carlito
Carlito struts down the aisle, steps in, gets popped by HHH and goes back out for a super quick elimination. HBK hits a SCM on Khali to knock him back against the ropes. He sets for another one but Kennedy reaches back in, drags him over the top to eliminate. Kennedy beats down HBK very badly on the floor, smashing his knee with the steel steps repeatedly. HBK is stretchered out. HHH/Taker toss BDV and then square off. They're about to go at it when Khali hooks the vice grip on HHH from behind.

In The Ring: Taker, Flair, CM Punk, Finlay, Khali, HHH

#22 - Shelton Benjamin
Shelton struts down the aisle, springboards for a fancy entry, gets caught on the shoulders of Punk who delivers the Go To Sleep that sends Shelton back over the ropes to the floor. Flair low blows Khalit to break the vice grip. Finlay and Khali square off. Taker and Punk square off in a striking battle. Taker gets the best of it and has Punk near elimination when two masked guys [Edgeheads] hit the ring and toss both Taker/Punk over the ropes, eliminating both of them. Flair/Finlay/HHH trying to take out Khali.

In The Ring: Flair, Finlay, Khali, HHH

#23 - Chuck Palumbo
Palumbo tries to help eliminate Khali, Khali shoves them all off. Khali almost tosses Flair but he manages to stay on the apron. Khali battering Flair on the apron, trying to knock him to the floor. HHH makes the save.

In The Ring: Flair, Finlay, Khali, HHH, Palumbo

#24 - Mick Foley
Foley hits the ring as the house of fire, taking down everyone... and getting the head chop from Khali to lay him out. Khali standing tall alone in the middle of the ring.

In The Ring: Flair, Finlay, Khali, HHH, Palumbo, Foley

#25 - Hornswoggle
Hornswoggle takes his sweet time getting down the aisle as Khali is the only one standing. Eventually, Khali's translator charges out and hurls the midget into the ring. Khali towers over him, grabs him in the double choke. Foley and Finlay with a double low blow on Khali. They work over the big man... trying to eliminate with double clotheslines.

In The Ring: Flair, Finlay, Khali, HHH, Palumbo, Foley, Hornswoggle

#26 - Jamie Noble
Noble hits the ring, eliminates Palumbo, then eliminates himself chasing after Palumbo. Regal and Vince make their way down to the ring, "cheering on Hornswoggle" as he gets the chance to kick Khali a few times. Finlay goes for a running clothesline on Khali, Regal pulls down the ropes to eliminate him. Hornswoggle looks scared to death as Finlay/Regal brawl to the back.

In The Ring: Flair, Khali, HHH, Foley, Hornswoggle

#27 - Umaga
Umaga hits the ring and destroys everyone but a dazed Khali and Hornswoggle. Moving in on Hornswoggle, Khali moves in as well. The two meet in the middle with Hornswoggle cowering between them... and actually end up brawling over who gets to beat up Hornswoggle. Vince loses his shit outside the ring.

In The Ring: Flair, Khali, HHH, Foley, Hornswoggle, Umaga

#28 - Batista
JR talks about what a good position Batista is coming in at. With Umaga and Khali brawling by the ropes, Batista somehow manages to upend them both over the ropes for the double elimination. Foley and Hornswoggle are laughing at Khali and Umaga... Umaga storms back in, hits Foley with the Samoan Drop and Samoan Spikes him over the ropes to the floor for an elimination.

In The Ring: Flair, HHH, Hornswoggle, Batista

#29 - Big Show
Big Show is announced by Vince as his "guarantee" that HHH won't be in the main event of Wrestlemania. Show hits the chokeslam on HHH... hits one on Flair... hits one on Batista... Vince screams for him to grab Hornswoggle. He hooks Hornswoggle... biiiiiiig chokeslam. Dumps him over the ropes like trash. Vince is ecstatic, mocking his son... then screaming for Show to finish off HHH as well. Show picks up HHH and sets for another chokeslam... Flair with a crawling low blow to save HHH.

In The Ring: Flair, HHH, Batista, Show

#30 - Santino Marella
Santino is cocky as fuck as he strolls the aisle, slides in, and starts stomping Flair. HHH/Batista doubleteaming the Show. Santino picks up Flair... and gets poked in the eyes before being tossed to the floor. HHH/Batista/Flair working on the Show... Evolution trying to toss the Big Show.

Orton makes his way out on the stage... as does Edge and Chavo, waiting to see who will be the Rumble winner. Taker attacks Edge on the stage, Punk goes after Chavo, chasing them both off. A battered Jeff Hardy staggers out on the stage, Orton backpedals down the aisle. Taker/Edge brawling at ringside. Batista gets distracted, screaming at them both, Flair tosses him over. Batista pulls Flair out, busts open his head on the ringpost. Flair barely moving on the floor, soaked with blood. JR says he hasn't been eliminated but he can't get back in the ring.

Show/HHH working each other over. Show hooks for the chokeslam... HHH goes low, hooks for the Pedigree... gets backdropped over the top to the floor. HHH eliminated! Show's music plays, Vince celebrating in the ring with him but a bloodied Flair rolls back in, chops down Vince. Chops on the Show, backing him down... Show hooks for a chokeslam... HHH rolls back in, sledge hammer to the back of the head. Flair pulls down the top rope and heaves...

FLAIR WINS THE RUMBLE!

A bloodied Flair celebrates with HHH in the ring as Vince fumes over his unconscious "guarantee" and we fade to black with JR screaming, "RIC FLAIR IS GOING TO THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA AND FOR AT LEAST ONE MORE NIGHT, HE _IS_ THE MAN!"

Fade out.