Anyways... on this very late Sunday night, I thought I'd review a handful of news and rumors about the upcoming GI Joe movie as well as the Transformers sequel [which I can't read much about because my lazy ass still hasn't watched the first one... but I do own it on DVD so I'm one step closer - besides, can it really be any better than Transformers: The Movie where millions of innocent children collectively gasped around the world when Starscream said "shit?"] that have made their way across the Interweb in the past few days.
** DEVASTAAAAATOR!
Rumors are running rampant that the Constructicons will be in the Transformers sequel with the news that set fanboys all atwitter that yes, where the Constructicons go, DEVASTATOR is sure to follow. Now, if only we can get the Dinobots involved.
** "Latino Review reports that Brendan Fraser has filmed what sounds like a cameo as Gung Ho in G.I. Joe, while Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has been offered the role of Shipwreck."
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! How many god damn Joes do we need in this flick? Brendan Fraser?!? ENCINO MAN?!?! Have these people even fucking seen a Gung Ho action figure? Gung Ho is all beefy and brawny and asskickingly cool. Brendan Fraser is the guy who pissed himself when he saw the ocean in Blast From The Past [a highly underrated flick where Ms. Silverstone (if you're nasty) is scorching hot]... he is not Gung Ho.
The Rock as Shipwreck? Barring any racially motivated "that's not rights" - I can sorta see it. BUT I DON'T NEED TO! HOW HARD IS THIS MOVIE TO MAKE?! You needed Hawk, Snake Eyes, Scarlett, Stalker, and maybe a couple more to start with. Gung Ho would have been fine to add to the group... SIX MONTHS AGO! You don't need the cavalcade of Joes who're going to be on screen too quickly to notice or too shallow to give a shit about. Did no one learn anything from that X-Men 3 rubbish?
** Logo for GI Joe movie goes active
Apparently discovered at a toy show, here you go...
I'm filled with large amounts of indifference. It's not exactly inspiring me to do cartwheels, pull all my toys out of the closet, and support Sgt. Slaughter blindly in all that he does. You know what bugs me about it? It's that fucking star. It reminds me of the scene in LA Story [another criminally underrated movie] where Sarah Jessica Parker [before she was famous] and Steve Martin are on a date. He asks her for her name and she replies it's "Sandy"... or so you think! When Martin replies that it's nice to meet a girl with a normal name unlike all the people with weird names now like Tiffany spelled with a p-h-i or instead of Nancy, it's Nanceen. Sandy replies that her name is SanDeE... with that exact capitalization... and that there's a star at the end. And that my friends, is what I think of the GI Joe movie logo.
It's shiny, fancy, and has a star randomly fucking placed for IMPACT. And yes, the old logo had a star but I'm standing firm in my belief that this star blows ass... you may quote me.
Gah... I thought there was more. That's all I've got!
Back tomorrow with a crazy-ass story about Superman that you do NOT want to miss!
How's that for a teaser?
Posts
2 comments:
Great L.A. Story reference & I totally agree that's it's a grossly underrated movie. I am actually getting worried about the Joe flick. Actually, VERY worried. From your watchdog posts, I feel that they're going overboard & are going to kill it. Will history look kindly on this flick? Oh shit, I don't know.
What's the frequency Blue?
Alittle REM joke there.. But Whattt'ssss Upppp!!! Nobody ever says that anymore. I was alittle shock to hear that you haven't seen transformers yet. Plus they really can't do Devastor because Prime cutt Bonecrusher fucking head off in the first one. Sorry didn't mean to give anything away. Anyways I thought Rock would make a better Gung Ho and Frasier a better Shipwreak. But who the HELL is going to cast Gerald F'n Butler as? You gotta have Mr. 300 in there some where. Later Poff Daddy
Post a Comment
Please sign your comments so I can know who to make voodoo dolls of!