2008-02-26
The Homogenization of Music
I was scouring some of my favorite mp3 blogs this morning to check out what else is out there in the world and I stumbled upon an interested piece of an interview [in addition to some great music.] I've never heard of this guy giving the interview but he had a very interesting thought process when it came to commercial music that I thought the rest of the world should see so I'm paying it forward.
From the folks at Captain Obvious...
Obvious: Dude, I was surprised to see that you have an artist page on CMT.com. Which brings me to this.. why does popular country music suck so terribly?
Burr: That's another great question. First off, it's always funny to me to see myself there, because it's just an odd combination. But I still take it as a compliment. If anyone's willing to accept my music as it is, and introduce me to a new audience, then I'm game. Anyway, I'm not real sure how pop country came to be this way. I think the nineties and the Clinton de-regulation of the airwaves killed commercial pop as a whole because it just got so homogenized. I mean commercial airwaves is how major labels have to sell their product - that's their only shot because their overhead is so ridiculously high. It's really a broken model... but when de-regulation happened and now 90% of domestic commercial airwaves are owned by two corporations, you have this homogenization that's occurred with playlists being forced down from on high and accommodating less diversity of sound and artists...The people at the top care about maximizing the profit dollar only - I mean it *is* business - and the way to do that is to water down the sound so each song/record hits the widest market segment possible. Pedal steel now becomes "too ethnic." And banjo too, etc. You've got a bunch of people hailing Cash and Townes Van Zandt, but none of these artists sound anything like them. It's a weird thing. I don't fully understand it. But there's plenty of people in line that just want to make it. They just want to sing - doesn't really matter what.
And there are times you just can't follow something so eloquently said.
From the folks at Captain Obvious...
Obvious: Dude, I was surprised to see that you have an artist page on CMT.com. Which brings me to this.. why does popular country music suck so terribly?
Burr: That's another great question. First off, it's always funny to me to see myself there, because it's just an odd combination. But I still take it as a compliment. If anyone's willing to accept my music as it is, and introduce me to a new audience, then I'm game. Anyway, I'm not real sure how pop country came to be this way. I think the nineties and the Clinton de-regulation of the airwaves killed commercial pop as a whole because it just got so homogenized. I mean commercial airwaves is how major labels have to sell their product - that's their only shot because their overhead is so ridiculously high. It's really a broken model... but when de-regulation happened and now 90% of domestic commercial airwaves are owned by two corporations, you have this homogenization that's occurred with playlists being forced down from on high and accommodating less diversity of sound and artists...The people at the top care about maximizing the profit dollar only - I mean it *is* business - and the way to do that is to water down the sound so each song/record hits the widest market segment possible. Pedal steel now becomes "too ethnic." And banjo too, etc. You've got a bunch of people hailing Cash and Townes Van Zandt, but none of these artists sound anything like them. It's a weird thing. I don't fully understand it. But there's plenty of people in line that just want to make it. They just want to sing - doesn't really matter what.
And there are times you just can't follow something so eloquently said.
2008-02-25
There Will Be Old Men
Hrmm.
I hate it when I may be wrong. It really pisses me off and is quite the blow to my eternal feeling of perfection in all things.
But...
I may have been mistaken in my movie reviews from Sunday morning. I might have been hasty and speaking before I had time to process them a bit and wrap my arms completely around them.
And no, I'm not just saying this because they were both successful on Oscar Night. I was really thinking about There Will Be Blood specifically for a large portion of the day.
As I said earlier, my only real issue with it was the lack of cohesive feel... the lack of a continuing narrative from one segment to the next... the thread that ties the movie together rather than it being four or five individual portions of a film. The ending, while very well-done, also felt a little... off... to me. It seemed extreme and out of character. But the more I've thought about the movie and done a little digging on the Interweb to get a sense of what the filmmakers were trying to accomplish, I get a better feeling about the movie. I start to embrace it a bit more and understand more of what they were aiming to do.
Yes, I know. It seems odd that you have to research a movie to figure out if you like it but... well, it is what it is. I think There Will Be Blood was going to be an easier sell to me as I liked the acting and almost everything about it... but I just needed that one thread to tie it all together to be able to embrace what the movie was _truly_ about. I knew the plot... but I didn't understand the point. I think I've got a grip on this one now and while I still don't think it was Best Picture worthy, I can see it being nominated... and yes, I think I would be more-than-willing to watch it again to see if a second viewing will make me like it as much as I think it might.
No Country For Old Men? Well, it dawned on me Sunday night that it was made by the Coen Brothers... which instantly made sense to me. Years ago, Mrs. Blue [before she was Mrs. Blue] dragged me to see some movie that was getting a lot of buzz called Fargo... yes, that Fargo. I despised it. It just didn't click for me and came off as hollow. Years later when I rewatched it, I found myself enjoying it and I've actually seen it a few times lately on Starz. It's an excellent flick that grew on me with time and... oh, let's just say "maturity" for the chance to be both "artistic" and "ironic." The Coens were also behind The Big Lebowski which I completely hated when I first saw it and now cling to like Linus to his blanket to the extreme of having bought a bunch of talking Lebowski bobbleheads at Comic-Con last year to distribute to my friends.
So, the Coens and I go way back in me misunderstanding and despising their work inititally only to find great enjoyment in it years later. When I realized that NCFOM was their work... well, let's just say I looked forward to watching it on the HD IMAX of my mind in 2013 and enjoying the fuck out of it.
I'm still not sold on NCFOM's ending... I'm just not. I loved the rest of it [minus a few snags] and thought it was very well done... until the last ten minutes or so. Can ten minutes completely kill a movie for someone? I drew the comparison earlier but there's been many a wrestling match that has gotten rave reviews that spotlight, "It would have been a Match of the Year... except for the shitty finish." That is NCFOM in a nutshell to me.
BUT...
That being said, sometimes it takes a little insight to bring enlightenment... and after a LOT of reading Sunday night on the Interweb, I think I "get" what they were trying to do. It's sad that it comes to that... but yeah, I think I get what they were trying to accomplish.
Look, I appreciate television and movies that make people think. I don't like to be spoonfed bullshit that is paint-by-numbers... all the time. Everything has it's place in the entertainment world... except King Arthur. Fuck that shit.
So, with that in mind... if I'm correct in what they were trying to accomplish with NCFOM, well... they succeeded. In trying to paint a bigger picture, the smaller details were forsaken and they left behind an audience saying, "What the fuck?" It's a bad thing short-term... but it's only a bad thing if the road ends there. If you take the time to figure it out... well, it can end up being a rewarding experience.
I think I "get it" which makes me smile a bit - at both myself for so completely reversing opinions and at the Coens for making me do so. I applaud them for thinking outside the box... as long as they knew what they were getting themselves into.
I'm being very vague here and I know it. But... well, I feel a little guilty for tearing into these two films now. Both should be viewed so people can decide for themselves. There will be movies, TV shows, albums that I will flatly tell you are not worth the shit on my shoes and should be treated accordingly. These two I'm giving advance warning that... well, you may not like them when you walk out but don't let your brain check out there.
Think a little bit about it... discuss it with others... then form your opinion. If you still think it's asstastic, more power to you.
But even the best of us still have the ability to surprise ourselves... and that's a hell of a thing to treasure.
Speaking of movies to think about, Major League is on. Man, Ricky Vaughn's motivation and drive chills me to the bone as does the director's political statement on a post-Cold War society trying to deal with the harshness of demilitarization.
Or maybe it's just a bitchin' baseball flick.
Fuck it. You figure it out.
I hate it when I may be wrong. It really pisses me off and is quite the blow to my eternal feeling of perfection in all things.
But...
I may have been mistaken in my movie reviews from Sunday morning. I might have been hasty and speaking before I had time to process them a bit and wrap my arms completely around them.
And no, I'm not just saying this because they were both successful on Oscar Night. I was really thinking about There Will Be Blood specifically for a large portion of the day.
As I said earlier, my only real issue with it was the lack of cohesive feel... the lack of a continuing narrative from one segment to the next... the thread that ties the movie together rather than it being four or five individual portions of a film. The ending, while very well-done, also felt a little... off... to me. It seemed extreme and out of character. But the more I've thought about the movie and done a little digging on the Interweb to get a sense of what the filmmakers were trying to accomplish, I get a better feeling about the movie. I start to embrace it a bit more and understand more of what they were aiming to do.
Yes, I know. It seems odd that you have to research a movie to figure out if you like it but... well, it is what it is. I think There Will Be Blood was going to be an easier sell to me as I liked the acting and almost everything about it... but I just needed that one thread to tie it all together to be able to embrace what the movie was _truly_ about. I knew the plot... but I didn't understand the point. I think I've got a grip on this one now and while I still don't think it was Best Picture worthy, I can see it being nominated... and yes, I think I would be more-than-willing to watch it again to see if a second viewing will make me like it as much as I think it might.
No Country For Old Men? Well, it dawned on me Sunday night that it was made by the Coen Brothers... which instantly made sense to me. Years ago, Mrs. Blue [before she was Mrs. Blue] dragged me to see some movie that was getting a lot of buzz called Fargo... yes, that Fargo. I despised it. It just didn't click for me and came off as hollow. Years later when I rewatched it, I found myself enjoying it and I've actually seen it a few times lately on Starz. It's an excellent flick that grew on me with time and... oh, let's just say "maturity" for the chance to be both "artistic" and "ironic." The Coens were also behind The Big Lebowski which I completely hated when I first saw it and now cling to like Linus to his blanket to the extreme of having bought a bunch of talking Lebowski bobbleheads at Comic-Con last year to distribute to my friends.
So, the Coens and I go way back in me misunderstanding and despising their work inititally only to find great enjoyment in it years later. When I realized that NCFOM was their work... well, let's just say I looked forward to watching it on the HD IMAX of my mind in 2013 and enjoying the fuck out of it.
I'm still not sold on NCFOM's ending... I'm just not. I loved the rest of it [minus a few snags] and thought it was very well done... until the last ten minutes or so. Can ten minutes completely kill a movie for someone? I drew the comparison earlier but there's been many a wrestling match that has gotten rave reviews that spotlight, "It would have been a Match of the Year... except for the shitty finish." That is NCFOM in a nutshell to me.
BUT...
That being said, sometimes it takes a little insight to bring enlightenment... and after a LOT of reading Sunday night on the Interweb, I think I "get" what they were trying to do. It's sad that it comes to that... but yeah, I think I get what they were trying to accomplish.
Look, I appreciate television and movies that make people think. I don't like to be spoonfed bullshit that is paint-by-numbers... all the time. Everything has it's place in the entertainment world... except King Arthur. Fuck that shit.
So, with that in mind... if I'm correct in what they were trying to accomplish with NCFOM, well... they succeeded. In trying to paint a bigger picture, the smaller details were forsaken and they left behind an audience saying, "What the fuck?" It's a bad thing short-term... but it's only a bad thing if the road ends there. If you take the time to figure it out... well, it can end up being a rewarding experience.
I think I "get it" which makes me smile a bit - at both myself for so completely reversing opinions and at the Coens for making me do so. I applaud them for thinking outside the box... as long as they knew what they were getting themselves into.
I'm being very vague here and I know it. But... well, I feel a little guilty for tearing into these two films now. Both should be viewed so people can decide for themselves. There will be movies, TV shows, albums that I will flatly tell you are not worth the shit on my shoes and should be treated accordingly. These two I'm giving advance warning that... well, you may not like them when you walk out but don't let your brain check out there.
Think a little bit about it... discuss it with others... then form your opinion. If you still think it's asstastic, more power to you.
But even the best of us still have the ability to surprise ourselves... and that's a hell of a thing to treasure.
Speaking of movies to think about, Major League is on. Man, Ricky Vaughn's motivation and drive chills me to the bone as does the director's political statement on a post-Cold War society trying to deal with the harshness of demilitarization.
Or maybe it's just a bitchin' baseball flick.
Fuck it. You figure it out.
2008-02-24
Holy christ!
The title of this post was my exact comment when I saw this picture. This is a post-match photo of a Japanese wrestler named "RG" after a run-in with Japanese wrestling legend Toshiaki Kawada. Kawada, obviously, is known for being one of the hardest hitting guys in the business.
Next time you're play-chopping someone and yelling "WOOOOO!" think fondly of Mr. Kawada or he may show up at your house and do this to you.
Next time you're play-chopping someone and yelling "WOOOOO!" think fondly of Mr. Kawada or he may show up at your house and do this to you.
And the Oscar goes to...
Wow! What a day I had yesterday!
Thanks to a tipoff from a friend from college, we discovered that the AMC theater chain was showing all five Best Picture nominees yesterday for $30. Not a bad deal and since we have always wanted to see all five before the awards, we decided to do it.
Mild spoilers to come so... yeah, consider yourselves warned.
They started off with Michael Clayton. I dug it. It wasn't anything blowaway friggin' fantastic but I dug it. I could probably watch it again if I stumbled across it on HBO or something. Clooney was cool in it as he tends to be cool in just about everything he's in... except Batman And Robin. Is it just me or does that man just ooze coolness? I don't want it sound like I have a Vince Vaughn-ish mancrush on him or something but damn... he just seems cool. Did I mention yet that he seems cool? Plus, it's got the psycho mob boss guy from Batman Begins in it as he plays... well, a psycho lawyer. "Help me, help me, Dr. Crane. I can't take it anymore." Good shit. I'll give this one a thumbs up... check it out when it hits DVD.
There Will Be Blood was next. Sigh. Okay, going into this day, it was fairly obvious that everyone and their mother was calling There Will Be Blood and No Country For Old Men as the favorites in the Best Picture race. In fact, another friend told me there was no point in seeing anything else on the list. So, I was really looking forward to this one. First, the good... the acting in this was awesome and I believe without looking at the list of nominees, Daniel Day Lewis deserves the Best Actor nod. That being said, this movie just didn't do it for me. It was very enthralling at times and I would really get into it. But once it was all said and done, I felt a little hollow from it. It just seemed to fall flat at the finish. There was a very emotional and dramatic finish... but when the credits were rolling, I just couldn't wrap my head around what it all was supposed to mean. I couldn't put my finger on the plotline that ran all the way through to conclusion. Maybe it was just over my head. Maybe I was too distracted by how cold it was in the theater. Not sure. But it just fell flat to me and didn't seem like a Best Picture.
Atonement was next... and as much as it absolutely kills me to say it, I actually enjoyed this one. Yeah, it was a sappy love story but it had some substance to it and actually worked for me. I thought the first portion of the movie was very well-done and had me interested to see how it turned out. The second part wasn't as good but it was at least still interesting to see how things will be resolved. The finish, which some will hate, was okay to me... was logical... and was tied up nicely. It may not have the type of ending many will be looking for but at least it didn't try to get too cute for it's own good. At this point, I actually had this in the lead for my favorite of the day.
Juno was after that. We had actually already seen Juno a few weeks ago but we decided to sit through it again even though they were letting people come and go as they wanted. The second viewing didn't lose much and actually endeared it to me even more. It's a smart, funny, clever flick. It has good actors playing their roles very well and is a movie that will age very well, I think. I would be pretty shocked if they won Best Picture but I would be very happy for them as well. Whoever described it as this year's Little Miss Sunshine hit the nail on the head. It's a comedy with a lot of heart and that's a rare thing in the Meet The Spartans and whatever movie with Martin Lawrence in a fat suit is out this week.
The finale was No Country For Old Men which my friend had complained about going on last since it was "the likely winner." Hrmm. You ever have a friend telling you about a movie they saw recently and their "review" has the line, "You know, it was a really good movie until the ending." That sums up this movie to a tee. There were things about it I really liked as it was progressing and things that I really didn't like... but on the whole, I thought it was well on its' way to being the easy pick for Best Picture. But then, it ended. And I was left saying, "Wait... what?" And then you hear the rumblings like, "Well, that's two hours of my life I'll never get back." not every movie has to wrap up things in a pretty bow to be good. Sideways was a fantastic recent flick that is an example of that. But that one was just too open. It was too much of a dangling narrative with no resolution... and I suppose it may have a resolution if you imagine your own but seriously, if I wanted to imagine my own ending, I'd buy some Choose Your Own Adventure books.
In conclusion, I'd say Sweeney Todd got fucking hosed. It may not have been the best movie of the year but it damn sure didn't deserve to get shut out of this category. I'd say it was even better than a movie I liked in Michael Clayton let alone the couple I didn't care for.
But in further conclusion, I'd say Juno or Atonement deserves this win. I'd love to see Juno win it but I wouldn't be upset if Atonement got it. Michael Clayton is in the middle. It was good... but it didn't knock my socks off. I'd be surprised if it won and I'd think it wasn't deserving. The other two... I can see the lemmings following right along and voting for it since everyone told them how great it was.
I guess in conclusion of the conclusions, when the wrestling websites and newsletters are discussing the Match of the Year... I always think that the basic criteria should be that if you think you'd ever want to see that match again, you should consider it for Match of the Year. So, in the most simple terms, the movie that you want to watch again should be considered the Best Picture. And of course, you probably eliminate stuff like Walk Hard or Superbad because it's obviously not the best acting or the best plot or whatever... but yeah, at heart, I'd say it's the best movie you saw all year that you would actually want to see again... not the one that everyone else tells you is the best movie you saw all year.
Thanks to a tipoff from a friend from college, we discovered that the AMC theater chain was showing all five Best Picture nominees yesterday for $30. Not a bad deal and since we have always wanted to see all five before the awards, we decided to do it.
Mild spoilers to come so... yeah, consider yourselves warned.
They started off with Michael Clayton. I dug it. It wasn't anything blowaway friggin' fantastic but I dug it. I could probably watch it again if I stumbled across it on HBO or something. Clooney was cool in it as he tends to be cool in just about everything he's in... except Batman And Robin. Is it just me or does that man just ooze coolness? I don't want it sound like I have a Vince Vaughn-ish mancrush on him or something but damn... he just seems cool. Did I mention yet that he seems cool? Plus, it's got the psycho mob boss guy from Batman Begins in it as he plays... well, a psycho lawyer. "Help me, help me, Dr. Crane. I can't take it anymore." Good shit. I'll give this one a thumbs up... check it out when it hits DVD.
There Will Be Blood was next. Sigh. Okay, going into this day, it was fairly obvious that everyone and their mother was calling There Will Be Blood and No Country For Old Men as the favorites in the Best Picture race. In fact, another friend told me there was no point in seeing anything else on the list. So, I was really looking forward to this one. First, the good... the acting in this was awesome and I believe without looking at the list of nominees, Daniel Day Lewis deserves the Best Actor nod. That being said, this movie just didn't do it for me. It was very enthralling at times and I would really get into it. But once it was all said and done, I felt a little hollow from it. It just seemed to fall flat at the finish. There was a very emotional and dramatic finish... but when the credits were rolling, I just couldn't wrap my head around what it all was supposed to mean. I couldn't put my finger on the plotline that ran all the way through to conclusion. Maybe it was just over my head. Maybe I was too distracted by how cold it was in the theater. Not sure. But it just fell flat to me and didn't seem like a Best Picture.
Atonement was next... and as much as it absolutely kills me to say it, I actually enjoyed this one. Yeah, it was a sappy love story but it had some substance to it and actually worked for me. I thought the first portion of the movie was very well-done and had me interested to see how it turned out. The second part wasn't as good but it was at least still interesting to see how things will be resolved. The finish, which some will hate, was okay to me... was logical... and was tied up nicely. It may not have the type of ending many will be looking for but at least it didn't try to get too cute for it's own good. At this point, I actually had this in the lead for my favorite of the day.
Juno was after that. We had actually already seen Juno a few weeks ago but we decided to sit through it again even though they were letting people come and go as they wanted. The second viewing didn't lose much and actually endeared it to me even more. It's a smart, funny, clever flick. It has good actors playing their roles very well and is a movie that will age very well, I think. I would be pretty shocked if they won Best Picture but I would be very happy for them as well. Whoever described it as this year's Little Miss Sunshine hit the nail on the head. It's a comedy with a lot of heart and that's a rare thing in the Meet The Spartans and whatever movie with Martin Lawrence in a fat suit is out this week.
The finale was No Country For Old Men which my friend had complained about going on last since it was "the likely winner." Hrmm. You ever have a friend telling you about a movie they saw recently and their "review" has the line, "You know, it was a really good movie until the ending." That sums up this movie to a tee. There were things about it I really liked as it was progressing and things that I really didn't like... but on the whole, I thought it was well on its' way to being the easy pick for Best Picture. But then, it ended. And I was left saying, "Wait... what?" And then you hear the rumblings like, "Well, that's two hours of my life I'll never get back." not every movie has to wrap up things in a pretty bow to be good. Sideways was a fantastic recent flick that is an example of that. But that one was just too open. It was too much of a dangling narrative with no resolution... and I suppose it may have a resolution if you imagine your own but seriously, if I wanted to imagine my own ending, I'd buy some Choose Your Own Adventure books.
In conclusion, I'd say Sweeney Todd got fucking hosed. It may not have been the best movie of the year but it damn sure didn't deserve to get shut out of this category. I'd say it was even better than a movie I liked in Michael Clayton let alone the couple I didn't care for.
But in further conclusion, I'd say Juno or Atonement deserves this win. I'd love to see Juno win it but I wouldn't be upset if Atonement got it. Michael Clayton is in the middle. It was good... but it didn't knock my socks off. I'd be surprised if it won and I'd think it wasn't deserving. The other two... I can see the lemmings following right along and voting for it since everyone told them how great it was.
I guess in conclusion of the conclusions, when the wrestling websites and newsletters are discussing the Match of the Year... I always think that the basic criteria should be that if you think you'd ever want to see that match again, you should consider it for Match of the Year. So, in the most simple terms, the movie that you want to watch again should be considered the Best Picture. And of course, you probably eliminate stuff like Walk Hard or Superbad because it's obviously not the best acting or the best plot or whatever... but yeah, at heart, I'd say it's the best movie you saw all year that you would actually want to see again... not the one that everyone else tells you is the best movie you saw all year.
2008-02-22
First pic from the GI Joe set
Just ran across this and thought you all might be interested.
This is the first pic of Sienna Miller as the Baroness - well, I'd guess not _quite_ as the Baroness.
Doesn't show us much but if it makes you feel better, I read an interview with her earlier in the week where she described that she's been working hard learning to shoot with live ammo and "running around in tight, thigh-high leather boots." Now _that's_ the Baroness.
And this... is Duke.
...
He kinda looks like John Cena. Maybe Cena should've played Duke if that's what they wanted.
Top Five Friday
On a gloomy Friday morning with Encore Love Stories doin' a brotha a solid and showing High Fidelity, one of my favorite movies, I decided to pay a little tribute to the flick by doing a Top 5... which was actually something I was thinking of making a regular Friday feature on here anyways. So, with that in mind and with the screenplay idea I've been kicking around for a few days [one that actually kept me from sleeping earlier in the week], I propose...
The Top 5 movies I always wanted to see a sequel to.
5. ET
An odd choice for sure and one that I don't even think I'd want to see anymore. But as a impressionable youth, I always remember a lot of talk about a sequel where we would get to see ET's home planet. Now, as a kid, that sounded like the coolest fucking thing in the world to me. As an adult, I think I'd rather see the Predator's home planet... or an entire flick based on Planet Spaceball. I mean, seriously... what the fuck could you do on ET's home planet once you got there? As an adult [or as close as I may get], I envision an entire race of ETs going to war to defend their planet. How about the Predators invading ET's home planet? Now that might work out. ET's glowing healing finger vs the Predator's spear of death... and I don't mean that in a sexual way. Maybe that's the ticket.
4. Fletch
Yes, I am aware they made a sequel to Fletch [which actually is pretty kickass... go watch it.] But they need more. Fletch should have been an entire franchise. It could've spanned decades with its total greatness. It could have been like the Bond movies where when Chevy Chase got too old, you just swapped in a new actor. Apparently they tried to relaunch this series a few years ago with Kevin Smith at the helm... but Kevin Smith really wanted Jason Lee to play the lead and at the time, the studio had no fucking clue who he was. Isn't it ironic... don'tcha think? I don't know if I would have cast him either. He seems too over-the-top to play insurance agent Harry S. Truman or John Cocktoseorn. I'm not sure who I would sub in in that spot. Maybe that's a good Top 5 for next Friday.
3. Tango And Cash
Oh, fuck you too. Tango And Cash is a criminally underrated action flick. Kurt Russell and Sly with a scorching hot Teri Hatcher?! Sign me up! I mean... we got sequels to a ton of crappy action flicks from the 80's and 90's so why can't we get some sequels for the good ones. It's been a long time since the original came out but it's not like Stallone's doing anything but making sequels to his old shit right now. And Kurt Russell hasn't done anything of note since Tombstone. Come to think of it, neither has Val Kilmer. Maybe we need a Tombstone seq- wait, that won't work. TOMBSTONE PREQUEL! BOOK IT, HOLLYWOOD!
2. Friday
Yes, I realize there was a Friday sequel... maybe two or three of them at last count. BUT... there's never been a _true_ Friday sequel. They whored out that series for a few fucking dollars instead of treasuring the utter brilliance and charm of the original. I saw that movie countless times during my freshman year of college and it is, without a shadow of a doubt, one of my favorites. I want another Friday. I want another day where you ain't got no job and you ain't got shit to do. I want Ice Cube and Chris Tucker sitting on a fucking porch, smoking weed, and watching a day in the neighborhood. How hard is that? Is that too much to fucking ask? I'm irritated by this one... don't mind me.
And the #1 sequel that I want to see...
1. The Goonies
HEEEEEY YOUUUUU GUYS! Okay, what is it with long-rumored sequels from my youth? For ages, we've heard about a sequel to this being made. Several months ago, I stumbled upon a script online that someone claimed was _the_ official pitched script for the Goonies 2 movie that seemed to follow Sean Astin in interviews during the LOTR media blitz. It was golden. It was incomplete... but golden. It starts with a flashback of One Eyed Willie torturing some poor bastard who wants to join his pirate crew. Then we get Chester Copperpot's son trying to buy the map from the original from Mikey who owns a... I think it was a pawn shop. Mikey and some chick are getting married and we get to see the reaction of grownup Data, Chunk, and Mouth as they receive the invitation. So, the basic gist is that they're all going to get together at Mikey's wedding and ultimately have another adventure. IT'S GOLD! IT'S BRILLIANT! I WANT IT ON MY LOCAL CINEPLEX SCREEN TOMORROW! MAKE IT SO!
And that's that. Enjoy your weekend.
The Top 5 movies I always wanted to see a sequel to.
5. ET
An odd choice for sure and one that I don't even think I'd want to see anymore. But as a impressionable youth, I always remember a lot of talk about a sequel where we would get to see ET's home planet. Now, as a kid, that sounded like the coolest fucking thing in the world to me. As an adult, I think I'd rather see the Predator's home planet... or an entire flick based on Planet Spaceball. I mean, seriously... what the fuck could you do on ET's home planet once you got there? As an adult [or as close as I may get], I envision an entire race of ETs going to war to defend their planet. How about the Predators invading ET's home planet? Now that might work out. ET's glowing healing finger vs the Predator's spear of death... and I don't mean that in a sexual way. Maybe that's the ticket.
4. Fletch
Yes, I am aware they made a sequel to Fletch [which actually is pretty kickass... go watch it.] But they need more. Fletch should have been an entire franchise. It could've spanned decades with its total greatness. It could have been like the Bond movies where when Chevy Chase got too old, you just swapped in a new actor. Apparently they tried to relaunch this series a few years ago with Kevin Smith at the helm... but Kevin Smith really wanted Jason Lee to play the lead and at the time, the studio had no fucking clue who he was. Isn't it ironic... don'tcha think? I don't know if I would have cast him either. He seems too over-the-top to play insurance agent Harry S. Truman or John Cocktoseorn. I'm not sure who I would sub in in that spot. Maybe that's a good Top 5 for next Friday.
3. Tango And Cash
Oh, fuck you too. Tango And Cash is a criminally underrated action flick. Kurt Russell and Sly with a scorching hot Teri Hatcher?! Sign me up! I mean... we got sequels to a ton of crappy action flicks from the 80's and 90's so why can't we get some sequels for the good ones. It's been a long time since the original came out but it's not like Stallone's doing anything but making sequels to his old shit right now. And Kurt Russell hasn't done anything of note since Tombstone. Come to think of it, neither has Val Kilmer. Maybe we need a Tombstone seq- wait, that won't work. TOMBSTONE PREQUEL! BOOK IT, HOLLYWOOD!
2. Friday
Yes, I realize there was a Friday sequel... maybe two or three of them at last count. BUT... there's never been a _true_ Friday sequel. They whored out that series for a few fucking dollars instead of treasuring the utter brilliance and charm of the original. I saw that movie countless times during my freshman year of college and it is, without a shadow of a doubt, one of my favorites. I want another Friday. I want another day where you ain't got no job and you ain't got shit to do. I want Ice Cube and Chris Tucker sitting on a fucking porch, smoking weed, and watching a day in the neighborhood. How hard is that? Is that too much to fucking ask? I'm irritated by this one... don't mind me.
And the #1 sequel that I want to see...
1. The Goonies
HEEEEEY YOUUUUU GUYS! Okay, what is it with long-rumored sequels from my youth? For ages, we've heard about a sequel to this being made. Several months ago, I stumbled upon a script online that someone claimed was _the_ official pitched script for the Goonies 2 movie that seemed to follow Sean Astin in interviews during the LOTR media blitz. It was golden. It was incomplete... but golden. It starts with a flashback of One Eyed Willie torturing some poor bastard who wants to join his pirate crew. Then we get Chester Copperpot's son trying to buy the map from the original from Mikey who owns a... I think it was a pawn shop. Mikey and some chick are getting married and we get to see the reaction of grownup Data, Chunk, and Mouth as they receive the invitation. So, the basic gist is that they're all going to get together at Mikey's wedding and ultimately have another adventure. IT'S GOLD! IT'S BRILLIANT! I WANT IT ON MY LOCAL CINEPLEX SCREEN TOMORROW! MAKE IT SO!
And that's that. Enjoy your weekend.
2008-02-21
100th Post
When I discovered the other day that I was about to hit the 100th post in the history of this blog, I thought I'd do something special for it. So, this is my idea of special. I'm going to take a look back at some of the other "milestone" posts so far and see what we can see. This should be... well, interesting... maybe. Let's see!
Post #1: Grand Opening!
Ahhh, memories. January 6th, 2006 saw the very first post in this blog's history. It was the first thing I did after the wife [who no longer wants to be referred to as "the wife" in these but yet doesn't want her name on here either so henceforth we shall use "Mrs. Blue" or "B" if I'm feeling nice] bought me web server space and my own URL for a birthday gift. On my first post, I ranted a bit about how I came up with the URL because I hear it so frequently... and then I wept a little bit as the guy who played Blue in Old School had died the night before. I said it then and I say it now... that was a cruel fucking twist of fate... and not like the cool Matt Hardy version [fuck Jeff Hardy's... go find your own finisher... stop holding your brother down, that shit ain't right, sucka.]
Post #10: Livin' On The Edge
Huh. This was actually my post encouraging the WWE to not take the World Title off of Edge at the Royal Rubmle. The post was Tuesday, January 24th, just days before the Rumble. I suggested that no one wanted to see HHH/Cena as the Mania main event... and dammit, I think I was right. Oddly, we find ourselves in the same position this year where everyone was really rooting against the tide in hopes that Jeff Hardy would win the World Title at the Rumble so we'd get something unique at Mania... and no, Orton vs Cena vs HHH doesn't count as unique to me. So, twice I've pushed for the underdog to win... and twice I've been denied. Fuck you too, Vince... fuck you too.
Post #25: The Thirty-Something Malaise
Posted on Thursday, February 23, 2006... man, I sound depressed in this. It was about a month before I left my Customer Service job... actually about two weeks before I gave my notice. In here I reference that I felt days away from getting fired which turns out to be ironic because they actually offered to take me back after my layoff last November... whatever. A couple things I found really amusing in this post is the Clerks 2 reference that I'm pretty sure I used here recently. Some things really don't change, huh? The other thing I found funny was a drop-in line about Eragon being a fun read and that it's probably make a really good movie. In light of my recent angry review of said movie, this little exercise in turning back the clock proved enlightening!
Post #50: Tracy Morgan Is A Jedi!
Posted on October 16, 2006, I was apparently pretty bored because I was working a 6AM to 3PM shift and found myself with too much time on my hands because for some god-forsaken reason, I DISCUSSED MY ENTIRE TV WATCHING SCHEDULE. Good lord have mercy on those who bothered to read this in 2006. My apologies... but I'll probably do it again at some point because I'm a sadist. Uhhh, take that... who's your favorite New Kid... call me Joey... please don't go girl.
Fuck you. Go watch Mallrats and stop judging me.
This one is so lengthy, I'm looking for good lines... let's hope I had some...
In reference to Studio 60, "It seems to be one of those "too smart for the mass populace" shows that die a painful and regretful death [see: Arrested Development] because the people who watched Everybody Loves Raymond for ten years can't keep up with it." It's funny cause it's true! My mom watched Everybody Loves Raymond and quotes it to tell life lessons... a lot. That should be enough to tell you to spend your time watching Blue-approved television.
30 Rock reference, "It bombed in the ratings though so I probably shouldn't get attached but any show that had an underwear-clad Tracy Morgan running through traffic with a lightsaber screaming "I AM A JEDI!" gets my support for the moment." So, so true. And I'm so, so happy that it somehow managed to pull in enough viewers to stay alive. It's because the Democrats are taking over, you know. No Republicans are watching 30 Rock. The Black Crusaders are who are putting Obama in office, baby. Oprah and Bill Cosby. Remind me to post about the 4 Blackmen Of The Apocalypse that I coined the other night.
In reference to Smackdown, "Lately, it seems like I've been watching wrestling out of force of habit moreso than any kind of enjoyment of it." And that was _before_ the Benoit situation. After that went down, it was very hard for me to watch it and enjoy it for quite a while. I finally worked my way through it to the point where I generally enjoy it when I watch it... even TNA sometimes... but it took a while. To all those people who claim George Lucas raped their childhood, I counter with Chris Benoit... Chris Benoit forcibly sodomized my childhood.
And in the comments section, Mark made fun of me for documenting my TV watching schedule... fittingly so. I'm going to make plans to do it again in October just to punish you all. AHAHAHAHAHAHA! PROFESSOR CHAOS STRIKES AGAIN!
Post #75: Get The Gators Ready!
To demonstrate what a shitty job I did in posting in 2007, the 75th post checked in on January 30th, 2008... well over a year since #50. In this one, I looked back through the rose-colored glasses of nostalgia at RollerGames.. which Dave Melter reported as the biggest roller derby in flop in history the other day. Damn him. BUT WHAT ABOUT THE GATORS?! THE WALL?! THE JUMP?! LITA FORD?! Although, to my excitement, Meltzer also reported that the producer of that version of RollerGames is looking to get a revamped version of it back on the air! EXACTLY WHAT I SUGGESTED IN MY POST! With any luck, we'll be marking out over a new version of the Los Angeles T-Birds sometime in 2008.
And that's that.
It's been a fun first hundred posts and hopefully it won't take anywhere near this long to get to the next hundred.
Or as my good friend, Poff Daddy, would say...
"It's been a great hundred posts... here's to a hundred more!"
Amen, amigo. Amen.
Post #1: Grand Opening!
Ahhh, memories. January 6th, 2006 saw the very first post in this blog's history. It was the first thing I did after the wife [who no longer wants to be referred to as "the wife" in these but yet doesn't want her name on here either so henceforth we shall use "Mrs. Blue" or "B" if I'm feeling nice] bought me web server space and my own URL for a birthday gift. On my first post, I ranted a bit about how I came up with the URL because I hear it so frequently... and then I wept a little bit as the guy who played Blue in Old School had died the night before. I said it then and I say it now... that was a cruel fucking twist of fate... and not like the cool Matt Hardy version [fuck Jeff Hardy's... go find your own finisher... stop holding your brother down, that shit ain't right, sucka.]
Post #10: Livin' On The Edge
Huh. This was actually my post encouraging the WWE to not take the World Title off of Edge at the Royal Rubmle. The post was Tuesday, January 24th, just days before the Rumble. I suggested that no one wanted to see HHH/Cena as the Mania main event... and dammit, I think I was right. Oddly, we find ourselves in the same position this year where everyone was really rooting against the tide in hopes that Jeff Hardy would win the World Title at the Rumble so we'd get something unique at Mania... and no, Orton vs Cena vs HHH doesn't count as unique to me. So, twice I've pushed for the underdog to win... and twice I've been denied. Fuck you too, Vince... fuck you too.
Post #25: The Thirty-Something Malaise
Posted on Thursday, February 23, 2006... man, I sound depressed in this. It was about a month before I left my Customer Service job... actually about two weeks before I gave my notice. In here I reference that I felt days away from getting fired which turns out to be ironic because they actually offered to take me back after my layoff last November... whatever. A couple things I found really amusing in this post is the Clerks 2 reference that I'm pretty sure I used here recently. Some things really don't change, huh? The other thing I found funny was a drop-in line about Eragon being a fun read and that it's probably make a really good movie. In light of my recent angry review of said movie, this little exercise in turning back the clock proved enlightening!
Post #50: Tracy Morgan Is A Jedi!
Posted on October 16, 2006, I was apparently pretty bored because I was working a 6AM to 3PM shift and found myself with too much time on my hands because for some god-forsaken reason, I DISCUSSED MY ENTIRE TV WATCHING SCHEDULE. Good lord have mercy on those who bothered to read this in 2006. My apologies... but I'll probably do it again at some point because I'm a sadist. Uhhh, take that... who's your favorite New Kid... call me Joey... please don't go girl.
Fuck you. Go watch Mallrats and stop judging me.
This one is so lengthy, I'm looking for good lines... let's hope I had some...
In reference to Studio 60, "It seems to be one of those "too smart for the mass populace" shows that die a painful and regretful death [see: Arrested Development] because the people who watched Everybody Loves Raymond for ten years can't keep up with it." It's funny cause it's true! My mom watched Everybody Loves Raymond and quotes it to tell life lessons... a lot. That should be enough to tell you to spend your time watching Blue-approved television.
30 Rock reference, "It bombed in the ratings though so I probably shouldn't get attached but any show that had an underwear-clad Tracy Morgan running through traffic with a lightsaber screaming "I AM A JEDI!" gets my support for the moment." So, so true. And I'm so, so happy that it somehow managed to pull in enough viewers to stay alive. It's because the Democrats are taking over, you know. No Republicans are watching 30 Rock. The Black Crusaders are who are putting Obama in office, baby. Oprah and Bill Cosby. Remind me to post about the 4 Blackmen Of The Apocalypse that I coined the other night.
In reference to Smackdown, "Lately, it seems like I've been watching wrestling out of force of habit moreso than any kind of enjoyment of it." And that was _before_ the Benoit situation. After that went down, it was very hard for me to watch it and enjoy it for quite a while. I finally worked my way through it to the point where I generally enjoy it when I watch it... even TNA sometimes... but it took a while. To all those people who claim George Lucas raped their childhood, I counter with Chris Benoit... Chris Benoit forcibly sodomized my childhood.
And in the comments section, Mark made fun of me for documenting my TV watching schedule... fittingly so. I'm going to make plans to do it again in October just to punish you all. AHAHAHAHAHAHA! PROFESSOR CHAOS STRIKES AGAIN!
Post #75: Get The Gators Ready!
To demonstrate what a shitty job I did in posting in 2007, the 75th post checked in on January 30th, 2008... well over a year since #50. In this one, I looked back through the rose-colored glasses of nostalgia at RollerGames.. which Dave Melter reported as the biggest roller derby in flop in history the other day. Damn him. BUT WHAT ABOUT THE GATORS?! THE WALL?! THE JUMP?! LITA FORD?! Although, to my excitement, Meltzer also reported that the producer of that version of RollerGames is looking to get a revamped version of it back on the air! EXACTLY WHAT I SUGGESTED IN MY POST! With any luck, we'll be marking out over a new version of the Los Angeles T-Birds sometime in 2008.
And that's that.
It's been a fun first hundred posts and hopefully it won't take anywhere near this long to get to the next hundred.
Or as my good friend, Poff Daddy, would say...
"It's been a great hundred posts... here's to a hundred more!"
Amen, amigo. Amen.
2008-02-20
99th post!
This angle popped into my head today and the rose-colored glasses of nostalgia made me think it was great.
Was it? Judge for yourself.
Was it? Judge for yourself.
2008-02-18
In Memory...
So, the ever-useful Dave Meltzer at Wrestling Observer points out that today is a very sad day in wrestling history as we mark the anniversaries of the deaths of two very special wrestlers.
It's the 15th anniversary of the death of Kerry Von Erich by suicide. Hard to believe it's really been that long. Kerry was the most famed son of the Von Erich family, a family that is now in tatters as nearly every son of the legendary Fritz Von Erich has ended up dead in one fashion or another. The only one left is Kevin Von Erich out of five brothers. Amazing.
As a kid, Kerry Von Erich was the always the "next Hulk Hogan" to me. In the old Apter magazines like The Wrestler and Pro Wrestling Illustrated, they constantly published photos of this guy that made him look like a bodybuilder. It was through those magazines, long before the Internet was an instant news source, that I learned of Kerry's tragic motorcycle accident and recovery. When he finally made it to the WWF, albeit having to be billed as the "Texas Tornado," you couldn't help but be happy for him. Unfortunately, he was "battling his demons" as they constantly say in the business while knocked down tons of pills. Ric Flair has often been praised by saying he could have a good match with a broomstick and one night against Kerry, he almost proved it as Kerry was so doped out of his mind, he couldn't even lace his boots. Another sad Kerry story that comes to mind is him forgetting that he had his blade taped in his fingertape for his match with Jerry Lawler and promptly slashing his head open _before_ the match.
Kerry's the ultimate story of potential gone way, way wrong in the wrestling business. Amazingly, he wrestled for years on one foot as one of his feet had to be amputated after the motorcycle accident. No one ever knew.
His greatest moment on the "big stage" came when he beat Ric Flair for the NWA World Title in Texas Stadium as part of the David Von Erich Memorial Parade of Champions show in Texas Stadium... yes, a memorial show for one of his brothers. Unfortunately, there's no video of this to be found online anymore since it's on one of the WWE commericial releases. So, here's something you might enjoy in it's place...
RIP Kerry Von Erich
The other person to remember today is Eddie Gilbert who died 13 years ago of a drug overdose. Eddie never achieved the worldwide fame that Kerry did but he was one of the best.
As a kid, my first exposure to pro wrestling was of course, the WWF. But there were so many territories running back then, you had tons of options to see. One of the first I stumbled upon was Bill Watts' UWF and one of the people who ruled the roost there was "Hot Stuff" Eddie Gilbert. Gilbert was the ultimate chickenshit heel who was so tiny, you couldn't imagine he'd stand a chance in there with guys like Duggan and Steve "Dr. Death" Williams but he somehow always found a way to hang in there by cheating his ass off.
Eddie's greatest moment on the "big stage" is sadly not even really his moment. He had started a feud with World Champion Ric Flair and US Champion Barry Windham, the remnants of the Horsemen in either early '89. It looked like he might finally hit the big time by feuding with the champ... but it was just a setup. A mystery partner tag match was booked between Flair/Windham vs Gilbert/?. The "?" was Ricky Steamboat and the rest is history. But Gilbert's greatest moment is one that I've never even seen. Like I said, in the 80's, you got your wrestling news from the Apter mags... and one month, they broke the story that Eddie Gilbert had attacked his long-time rival Jerry Lawler in Memphis... WITH A CAR! He tried to run down Lawler and in the mark-filled Memphis territory, actually had the police called on him. Now _that_ is a heel.
Gilbert's greatest legacy is that he was the booker for ECW before Paul Heyman came to town. Gilbert's credited with being a creative genius by many in the business and many have wondered just how big of an impact he would have had in the industry on that side of the game.
And will you look at this? The car angle. Thank god for Youtube.
Did you see that bump by Lawler?! Good lord! No wonder they called the cops.
RIP Eddie Gilbert
Anyways... sadly, death of the stars of the 80's is a frequent happening and one that a fan of the business has to deal with. I just wanted to take a few minutes to give a tip of the cap to two of my favorite grapplers from my youth on the anniversaries of their deaths.
It's the 15th anniversary of the death of Kerry Von Erich by suicide. Hard to believe it's really been that long. Kerry was the most famed son of the Von Erich family, a family that is now in tatters as nearly every son of the legendary Fritz Von Erich has ended up dead in one fashion or another. The only one left is Kevin Von Erich out of five brothers. Amazing.
As a kid, Kerry Von Erich was the always the "next Hulk Hogan" to me. In the old Apter magazines like The Wrestler and Pro Wrestling Illustrated, they constantly published photos of this guy that made him look like a bodybuilder. It was through those magazines, long before the Internet was an instant news source, that I learned of Kerry's tragic motorcycle accident and recovery. When he finally made it to the WWF, albeit having to be billed as the "Texas Tornado," you couldn't help but be happy for him. Unfortunately, he was "battling his demons" as they constantly say in the business while knocked down tons of pills. Ric Flair has often been praised by saying he could have a good match with a broomstick and one night against Kerry, he almost proved it as Kerry was so doped out of his mind, he couldn't even lace his boots. Another sad Kerry story that comes to mind is him forgetting that he had his blade taped in his fingertape for his match with Jerry Lawler and promptly slashing his head open _before_ the match.
Kerry's the ultimate story of potential gone way, way wrong in the wrestling business. Amazingly, he wrestled for years on one foot as one of his feet had to be amputated after the motorcycle accident. No one ever knew.
His greatest moment on the "big stage" came when he beat Ric Flair for the NWA World Title in Texas Stadium as part of the David Von Erich Memorial Parade of Champions show in Texas Stadium... yes, a memorial show for one of his brothers. Unfortunately, there's no video of this to be found online anymore since it's on one of the WWE commericial releases. So, here's something you might enjoy in it's place...
RIP Kerry Von Erich
The other person to remember today is Eddie Gilbert who died 13 years ago of a drug overdose. Eddie never achieved the worldwide fame that Kerry did but he was one of the best.
As a kid, my first exposure to pro wrestling was of course, the WWF. But there were so many territories running back then, you had tons of options to see. One of the first I stumbled upon was Bill Watts' UWF and one of the people who ruled the roost there was "Hot Stuff" Eddie Gilbert. Gilbert was the ultimate chickenshit heel who was so tiny, you couldn't imagine he'd stand a chance in there with guys like Duggan and Steve "Dr. Death" Williams but he somehow always found a way to hang in there by cheating his ass off.
Eddie's greatest moment on the "big stage" is sadly not even really his moment. He had started a feud with World Champion Ric Flair and US Champion Barry Windham, the remnants of the Horsemen in either early '89. It looked like he might finally hit the big time by feuding with the champ... but it was just a setup. A mystery partner tag match was booked between Flair/Windham vs Gilbert/?. The "?" was Ricky Steamboat and the rest is history. But Gilbert's greatest moment is one that I've never even seen. Like I said, in the 80's, you got your wrestling news from the Apter mags... and one month, they broke the story that Eddie Gilbert had attacked his long-time rival Jerry Lawler in Memphis... WITH A CAR! He tried to run down Lawler and in the mark-filled Memphis territory, actually had the police called on him. Now _that_ is a heel.
Gilbert's greatest legacy is that he was the booker for ECW before Paul Heyman came to town. Gilbert's credited with being a creative genius by many in the business and many have wondered just how big of an impact he would have had in the industry on that side of the game.
And will you look at this? The car angle. Thank god for Youtube.
Did you see that bump by Lawler?! Good lord! No wonder they called the cops.
RIP Eddie Gilbert
Anyways... sadly, death of the stars of the 80's is a frequent happening and one that a fan of the business has to deal with. I just wanted to take a few minutes to give a tip of the cap to two of my favorite grapplers from my youth on the anniversaries of their deaths.
Spring Training Update - 2/18/08
Man, you guys are lucky today as I just keep finding things to write about. Some of you must have earned good karma over the weekend. Save a baby from a burning building... get an extra Blue post on Monday. Pay it forward, people... it's just that simple.
*** On Sunday, Sandy Koufax made one of his rare visits to Dodgertown. Just f'n awesome. It's Sandy Koufax! If he was not immediately mobbed by any pitcher within twenty square miles, the game is forever destined to die. The wealth of knowledge contained on his shoulders is immeasureable. It makes me so happy that the current ownership managed to bury the hatchet with him after years of discord because he is an important piece of Dodgers history and it was a real shame that he was on the outs with the franchise for so many years.
*** In the midst of the Jones and Kuroda signings, a minor league contract was offered to a familiar face to Dodger fans... Chan Ho Park. Chan Ho was a solid pitcher for the Dodgers in his first stint with them before moving on for greener pastures [and a much greener contract.] Since then, he's bounced around the league and accomplished little. So, now he's back with his first MLB team to try to recapture the magic. I'd like to see him make it because 1] you can never have too much pitching and 2] we might get a repeat of this...
ENZUUUUUGIRIIIIIIIII!
Ahem. Good luck, Chan Ho.
*** When the Dodgers split their squad this spring to go to China, it will be historic for more than one reason. Not only is it the first MLB game played in China but the team being left behind will be managed by Hall of Famer and baseball ambassador Tommy Lasorda! That's just beyond awesome for someone who grew up worshipping the ground Tommy walked on. I just hope he doesn't blow out any of our pitchers' arms in that week of work. Take it easy, Tommy! It's just spring training.
*** And just to make sure that you're all paying attention, I'll slip in a jab at one of our "rival" teams. Check out this gem from ESPN today. The man I affectionately refer to as a F-Rod... or Fraud... thinks he's gone from the Angels because he's not feeling the love. Read the article to see his artful dodge from "Yep, I'm guessing I'm out of here" to "Oh shit, you're not going to print that, right?" It's a beautiful ride.
*** On Sunday, Sandy Koufax made one of his rare visits to Dodgertown. Just f'n awesome. It's Sandy Koufax! If he was not immediately mobbed by any pitcher within twenty square miles, the game is forever destined to die. The wealth of knowledge contained on his shoulders is immeasureable. It makes me so happy that the current ownership managed to bury the hatchet with him after years of discord because he is an important piece of Dodgers history and it was a real shame that he was on the outs with the franchise for so many years.
*** In the midst of the Jones and Kuroda signings, a minor league contract was offered to a familiar face to Dodger fans... Chan Ho Park. Chan Ho was a solid pitcher for the Dodgers in his first stint with them before moving on for greener pastures [and a much greener contract.] Since then, he's bounced around the league and accomplished little. So, now he's back with his first MLB team to try to recapture the magic. I'd like to see him make it because 1] you can never have too much pitching and 2] we might get a repeat of this...
ENZUUUUUGIRIIIIIIIII!
Ahem. Good luck, Chan Ho.
*** When the Dodgers split their squad this spring to go to China, it will be historic for more than one reason. Not only is it the first MLB game played in China but the team being left behind will be managed by Hall of Famer and baseball ambassador Tommy Lasorda! That's just beyond awesome for someone who grew up worshipping the ground Tommy walked on. I just hope he doesn't blow out any of our pitchers' arms in that week of work. Take it easy, Tommy! It's just spring training.
*** And just to make sure that you're all paying attention, I'll slip in a jab at one of our "rival" teams. Check out this gem from ESPN today. The man I affectionately refer to as a F-Rod... or Fraud... thinks he's gone from the Angels because he's not feeling the love. Read the article to see his artful dodge from "Yep, I'm guessing I'm out of here" to "Oh shit, you're not going to print that, right?" It's a beautiful ride.
You Know She's No Good
Oooh! More posts! The day is aplenty with Blue thoughts!
So, I was sitting here watching an Amy Winehouse performance on MTV HD and I was struck by just how fucking good she is. I mean, I know I like the stuff of hers that I've heard and I dug the performance on the Grammys but damn, she really is fucking good. Her and her band put on one hell of a show.
Of course, she looks about as cracked out as she could possibly be.
And that's a sad thing... right?
Eh. I don't know. She's alive, right? She seems to be enjoying herself, right? She hasn't run down anyone on the streets in a cracked out rage, right?
So, why do I care exactly?
The [completely unable to prove] fact of the matter is that a large portion of the great music in history came from someone with fire in their veins or pure delight up their noses. The Doors... Hendrix... the Stones... Nirvana... GNR... so, so, so many more.
So, if we can squeeze a few albums out of her while she's dancin' with her demons, should we really lord it over her like she's the devil incarnate? As long as she keeps it to herself and doesn't just fuckin' die as a result, should we really care all that much?
Man, she's got skinny legs... and funky hair... and a lot of ink... and one of the most doped-up expressions on her face that I've ever seen.
But the people love her. And she rocks... and not in a crack rock type fashion either.
Keep on crackin', Amy! Keep it real, sista!
But remember... only street urchins work the pipe. Whitney knows what's goin' down in the world, sweetie.
That's right! CRACK IS CHEAP! CRACK IS WACK!
Come on, Amy... get with the program. You need to be chasin' the tiger... maybe indulging in some nose candy... hell, if worse comes to worse, you're in Europe... pay a visit to the Green Fairy, baby.
But not crack. Give Whitney a call. She'll be happy to discuss it with you... she's got nothing else to do.
Oh, and you can tell that Natalie Cole to get off your shit too for being cracked out and winning awards. Tell her it's better than winning awards by making people go, "Ohhh, how sweet. She's doing a duet with her dead father."
Rehab is for quitters, girlfriend. You keep tellin' 'em no, no, no.
So, I was sitting here watching an Amy Winehouse performance on MTV HD and I was struck by just how fucking good she is. I mean, I know I like the stuff of hers that I've heard and I dug the performance on the Grammys but damn, she really is fucking good. Her and her band put on one hell of a show.
Of course, she looks about as cracked out as she could possibly be.
And that's a sad thing... right?
Eh. I don't know. She's alive, right? She seems to be enjoying herself, right? She hasn't run down anyone on the streets in a cracked out rage, right?
So, why do I care exactly?
The [completely unable to prove] fact of the matter is that a large portion of the great music in history came from someone with fire in their veins or pure delight up their noses. The Doors... Hendrix... the Stones... Nirvana... GNR... so, so, so many more.
So, if we can squeeze a few albums out of her while she's dancin' with her demons, should we really lord it over her like she's the devil incarnate? As long as she keeps it to herself and doesn't just fuckin' die as a result, should we really care all that much?
Man, she's got skinny legs... and funky hair... and a lot of ink... and one of the most doped-up expressions on her face that I've ever seen.
But the people love her. And she rocks... and not in a crack rock type fashion either.
Keep on crackin', Amy! Keep it real, sista!
But remember... only street urchins work the pipe. Whitney knows what's goin' down in the world, sweetie.
That's right! CRACK IS CHEAP! CRACK IS WACK!
Come on, Amy... get with the program. You need to be chasin' the tiger... maybe indulging in some nose candy... hell, if worse comes to worse, you're in Europe... pay a visit to the Green Fairy, baby.
But not crack. Give Whitney a call. She'll be happy to discuss it with you... she's got nothing else to do.
Oh, and you can tell that Natalie Cole to get off your shit too for being cracked out and winning awards. Tell her it's better than winning awards by making people go, "Ohhh, how sweet. She's doing a duet with her dead father."
Rehab is for quitters, girlfriend. You keep tellin' 'em no, no, no.
LINKS GALORE!
I was hangin' 10 on the interweb this morning, brah, when I saw some things that made me think others might like to see them as well.
Then I closed the porn links and started looking for stuff that wasn't quite as "revealing."
Check it out, Agent Utah.
*** Who remembers Latrell Spreewell, infamous NBA choke artist, turning down a huge contract extension because he "had a family to feed" only to find himself sitting on the sidelines ever since because no one wanted to pay him what he wanted? Yeah, well... judging from this link, I'm guessing he wishes he had the money.
*** Who remembers Tony Gwynn Jr. essentially knocking his father's former club out of the postseason last year? Oh, I remember it all too well as my friend [and Padre fan] was far too happy to mock us poor Dodger fans as we pulled up to his apartment for my bachelor party, leaning off the balcony to yell "If you guys hurry, you can hear the Padres clinch the NL West." Oh, we heard something alright! We heard him whimpering like a small child when the man affectionately known as "Little T" crushed the Padres spirit [and apparently Trevor Hoffman's balls.] For all the glorious details, check it out, mang.
*** If paging through all my crazed rants isn't enough to kill your day at work, I present the next best thing. Yahoo! Bix. I used to manage to waste HOURS on this subsection of Yahoo which is presented as a series of polls such as "Which dog is the cutest?" with accompanying pictures. Since this is the Interweb, you are also treated to about a zillion "WHO IZ THA HODDEST CHIK ON THA PLANIT!?!" polls which are at least good for eyecandy. Enjoy!
*** On a quest to fulfill a challenge laid out for February's Mixtape Of The Month, I visited several music/mp3 blogs over the weekend. MP3 blogs are a hell of a drug as Rick James would say because you end up downloading a bunch of crap you don't need and ultimately probably don't want but who can say no to David Byrne covering Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" or Willie Nelson [or a faux-Willie Nelson] layin' it down on Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time?" I'll add two specific blogs to my links section later but for now, Google "MP3 blogs" and prepare to lose all sense of sanity.
*** While Bonnaroo has managed to piece together perhaps the greatest festival lineup since the second Woodstock, us poor bastards who can't afford to fly out there are stuck with making the best out of what we get. To some people in SoCal, that'd be Coachella. But fuck Coachella, ya gahdamn ravers! I refuse to wade through that many people on Ecstacy just to see Jenny Lewis. REFUSE, I SAY! So, the next best thing at the moment? Eddie Vedder solo tour!
Then I closed the porn links and started looking for stuff that wasn't quite as "revealing."
Check it out, Agent Utah.
*** Who remembers Latrell Spreewell, infamous NBA choke artist, turning down a huge contract extension because he "had a family to feed" only to find himself sitting on the sidelines ever since because no one wanted to pay him what he wanted? Yeah, well... judging from this link, I'm guessing he wishes he had the money.
*** Who remembers Tony Gwynn Jr. essentially knocking his father's former club out of the postseason last year? Oh, I remember it all too well as my friend [and Padre fan] was far too happy to mock us poor Dodger fans as we pulled up to his apartment for my bachelor party, leaning off the balcony to yell "If you guys hurry, you can hear the Padres clinch the NL West." Oh, we heard something alright! We heard him whimpering like a small child when the man affectionately known as "Little T" crushed the Padres spirit [and apparently Trevor Hoffman's balls.] For all the glorious details, check it out, mang.
*** If paging through all my crazed rants isn't enough to kill your day at work, I present the next best thing. Yahoo! Bix. I used to manage to waste HOURS on this subsection of Yahoo which is presented as a series of polls such as "Which dog is the cutest?" with accompanying pictures. Since this is the Interweb, you are also treated to about a zillion "WHO IZ THA HODDEST CHIK ON THA PLANIT!?!" polls which are at least good for eyecandy. Enjoy!
*** On a quest to fulfill a challenge laid out for February's Mixtape Of The Month, I visited several music/mp3 blogs over the weekend. MP3 blogs are a hell of a drug as Rick James would say because you end up downloading a bunch of crap you don't need and ultimately probably don't want but who can say no to David Byrne covering Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" or Willie Nelson [or a faux-Willie Nelson] layin' it down on Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time?" I'll add two specific blogs to my links section later but for now, Google "MP3 blogs" and prepare to lose all sense of sanity.
*** While Bonnaroo has managed to piece together perhaps the greatest festival lineup since the second Woodstock, us poor bastards who can't afford to fly out there are stuck with making the best out of what we get. To some people in SoCal, that'd be Coachella. But fuck Coachella, ya gahdamn ravers! I refuse to wade through that many people on Ecstacy just to see Jenny Lewis. REFUSE, I SAY! So, the next best thing at the moment? Eddie Vedder solo tour!
2008-02-17
Two Snaps, A Twist, And A Kiss
So, from my understanding and worldview, we have new readers. Welcome and I apologize in advance for anything you find offensive... and then I apologize for saying something even worse in the next paragraph after the one that offended you... and I _definitely_ apologize for the comment after that. I mean, seriously... Chelsea Clinton pimped out for use in a donkey show? Like that'd really happen!
We've been on a bit of a movie rental kick lately which is ironic in an Alanis Morissette kinda way as we barely used Netflix and/or Blockbuster Online for the whole time we had them. Both are canceled now and we suddenly find ourselves renting movies over the past two weeks. Who knew?
In honor of that and that pesky award show coming up next weekend where awards will be given to movies none of us have seen, actors whose names we don't recognize without crib notes, original songs sung by rodents [Come on, Enchanted!] and the phrase "Who are you wearing?" is used ten times per second and _not_ to a man named Buffalo Bill. But a shiny nickel if someone tucks and poses ala Jay from Clerks 2. Bonus points if Goodbye Horses is playing.
But I digress.
I shall now do my very best Siskel and Ebert impression which'll likely end up a lot more like when Howard Stern talks about movies...
Before I go into the rentals, let me talk about Eragon.
Ohhhh my, let me talk about Eragon.
You see, Eragon, as a novel, holds a special piece of inspiration for me. For those who don't know the story, the author Christopher Paolini, a home-schooled little bastard who lives in Bumfuck, Montana where there is nothing to do but smoke lots and lots of weed [come on, Phil Jackson "summers" there... girl, you know it's true] was all of fifteen years old when he wrote the first draft of Eragon upon "graduating from high school."
...
Let's let that sink in for a bit.
He was fifteen.
FIFTEEN.
Now, granted, living in Montana and being home-schooled, he must have felt like he was forty but HE WAS FIFTEEN!
According to the bio on his site, he "took a second year to revise." His family decided it was good and decided to self-publish. The book was sent to press and the first copies hit stores in November 2001... when he was eighteen.
That son of a bitch.
So, as you can see, for an aspiring writer like myself, that really toasts my balls. Or inspires me. Sometimes I can't decide which.
See, while I was eighteen and doing dumb shit like drinking on golf courses, this guy was a published author...
...but he was still living in Montana with his parents.
Hrmm.
Tossup, I guess.
BUT I DIGRESS!
Anyways, the book was goodish. It wasn't setting the world on fire but it was a solid read and I was looking forward to more. In between reading the first book and the second, I went through all of George RR Martin's "Song of Fire And Ice" saga that's been published so far which I can not imagine has a peer in the realm of sci-fi/fantasy writing so... I'm not all hot and bothered by Eragon anymore.
But I still dug it enough to be somewhat stoked when at Comic-Con a couple years ago, they announced that they were making an Eragon movie. It really was a book meant to have a movie made of it and coming fresh off LOTR and Potter being megahits, it seemed like it might be a chance for sci-fi/fantasy to make a huge comeback in the cinema which would rock my proverbial socks.
I didn't go see the movie in the theaters... sue me. I didn't even rent it on DVD. I felt bad! I really did!
Now that I've seen it on HBO last week? Not so much.
What a steaming pile of crap that was. I don't even know where to start about how bad it was. The acting was terrible. Some of the effects were just embarassing considerin the level of effects that are possible now. The action sequences were uninspiring. The story was rushed and barely clung to the original plot.
It was ass. Major stinky ass.
Oh, and the dragon! See, I'm going to spoil shit for you so don't read it if you really plan on watching or reading this but I would suggest doing neither because the second book [which I read a few weeks ago] basically pissed me off so DON'T GIVE THE LITTLE MONTANA BASTARD ANY MORE MONEY! The dragon "talks" to Eragon through their minds. Don't laugh, asshole. It's cool. But not when the dragon sounds like Angela Lansbury! GRRRARRRRGH!
Anyways... don't watch that movie. It sucked. If I was Roger Ebert, I would not give this movie a thumbs up. I wouldn't give it a thumbs down either. I'd track down the writer that adapted that screenplay, cut off _his_ thumb, and bury it deep in his rectal region.
So, after seeing that, I was reluctant to race into watching Stardust, one of the other movies we rented that I was really looking forward to.
We opted to start with Shoot 'Em Up.
Shoot 'Em Up was another movie we were pissed we missed in the theater because the footage they screened at the Con was amazingly cool. So, we were stoked at finally getting the chance to see it.
The action scenes were beautifully done... brilliantly choreographed. We had just seen Smokin' Aces [not a bad flick, btw] the week prior so it had some tough competition but came out like a champ. Clive Owen continues to look like a badass in every movie he's in. This could have just as easily been a continuation of his segment of Sin City. Paul Giamatti is perfect as the slimy, snarky, always-a-step-ahead villain. Monica Belluci is hot... well, she is, dammit! And really that was her only purpose in the movie so bravo, my lady, bravo! The plot's a little convoluted and flabby but it's really only window dressing for the action scenes anyways. It had a lot of Charlie's Angelsesque "Did he really just fucking do that?" action so go in prepared to put your disbelief under your chair for 80 minutes and enjoy. I'd give it a thumb to the side... nothing fantabulous but I didn't wish I'd had the hour and a half of my life back.
In showing true cinematic diversity, we progressed on to Ratatouille, Pixar-Disney's latest fling in computer animation.
Sigh.
What the fuck is with computer animation? I mean, I know they like it cause it's pretty. I know they can make things look "more real" with it. But what the hell is wrong with hand-drawn cel animation?! The stuff in Enchanted was the bombdiggity and gave me great hope that the heart and soul hadn't been ripped out of Disney's Animation department and replaced with that fucking clock the Tin Man got from the Wizard of Oz. Beauty And The Beast, Aladdin, Lion King... that's the good shit, baby. I love Toy Story, Toy Story 2, Monsters Inc, Nemo... so don't get me wrong, the computer stuff can be good too. But dammit... just give me someone with a pencil every now and again so my brain doesn't bleed. If you ever get a chance, check out a fantastic documentary called Dream On Silly Dreamer. We saw it at the Con two years ago and bought the DVD on the spot. It's about the "high times and tragic fate of Disney Feature Animation" according to the box. A beautiful and depressing as hell story. But we hold out hope, John Lassiter. Get 'er done.
What was I talking about? Oh, the rat movie.
It was alright. The wife liked it more than I did. She was all giddy for it and looked like she might cry at any moment which doesn't say much because I swear she may have cried at the end of Anchorman... true story! But not.
Anyways... rat movie was okay. It had some heart and looked pretty. I might like it more on a rewatch. Absolutely hated Nemo the first time I watched it and didn't even make it through my first viewing of A Bug's Life. On the grand scale of Pixar flicks, I'd slot it in above Cars [since I haven't seen it!] but... well, below everything else. It _might_ check in higher than Bug's Life. I'd have to rewatch that one too.
NEXT!
We went to watch Across The Universe but the DVD player suddenly decided it didn't want to play dialogue which makes watching a musical a little tricky. I swapped in Stardust to see if that'd work... it didn't. I fiddled with some cables for a bit and suddenly, we had sound. Beautiful! I AM A GENIUS! Actually, I just unplugged one of the audio cables so I only had Mono sound... but still, genius!
Stardust was... well, awesome. I don't have a single complaint actually. The acting was great, the effects were perfect, the plot was awesome [thank you, Mr. Gaiman and thanks adapters for not fucking it up... GO FIX ERAGON!], the music was incredible, and... well, yeah. I was stoked after it was over. Go out of your way to see this movie if you're any fan of sci-fi/fantasy at all. If you're not, give it a shot... you still might like it.
The one negative I took away from Stardust was simple. After seeing Stardust and Serenity both get absolutely destroyed at the box office, I have great fear for the future of the genre in the cinema. Now, obviously we can expect things like The Hobbit and the Potter movies to continue to get churned out and clean house but the smaller films seem to be suffering. Is it a matter of having too much of a niche audience? Is it bad marketing? It's not the movies, dammit, because they were both near flawless. Numbers, you say? Here are the numbers...
Stardust made a total domestic gross of almost 39 million. They tacked on another 96 or so worldwide for a total of 135 million. The production budget was estimated at 70 million and doesn't include marketing and such.
Serenity made 25.5 mil domestic and 13 and change worldwide for a total of about 39 mil on a 39 mil production budget. That makes me want to cry. I WEEP FOR THE WORLD!
And you know why I weep for the world?
Because Step Up 2 The Streets made 26 million dollars this weekend.
Because Eragon made 250 million dollars worldwide... and made me want to stab out my eyes and cut off my ears.
BECAUSE THE PACIFIER MADE 200 MILLION DOLLARS WORLDWIDE! VIN DIESEL AS A BABYSITTER MADE 200 MILLION DOLLARS!
I weep because shows like Arrested Development, Firefly, Wonderfalls, and Journeyman end up scrapped while we get treated to sixteen versions of CSI and Law & Order. I weep because crap like Air Bud 2 gets green-lighted while The Watchmen and Justice League sat in developmental hell for years. I weep because it makes national headlines when a reporter quips that Chelsea Clinton got "pimped out" and because Britney's dad hates her lawyer. I weep that trainwreck television like Celebrity Rehab is made... and that I somehow find myself watching it because it's so damn amazing to see former "stars" on the last rung of life.
Erm... I got carried away again.
BUT I DIGRESS!
Go see Stardust. You know what else you should see? Across The Universe. Well, let's make things really clear on that...
1] You should enjoy musicals. As was referenced this evening, I have "an affinity for musicals" [thanks Mark] - so I enjoyed this movie a lot.
2] You should at least have a mild interest in the Beatles' music. If you hate the Beatles, your money may be better spent on buying a copy of Eragon to use as a coaster if you run out in a crisis.
3] You should be able to least imagine you've been on a mind-altering drug at some point in your life - and yes, we'll include SEVERE doses of alcohol in this. If you've ever drank so much that you looked at your blurry hand and thought it was amusing that you had fingers, that'll do, donkey.
If you meet all three of these criteria, you will likely enjoy this movie.
Nice, clear, concise review! No rants there!
Although, I could discuss the insanity of the Beatles segment on the Grammys again if you'd like. No? Fine.
NEXT!
3:10 To Yuma.
I love me some Westerns. It's a genre that tends to get forgotten for lengthy periods of time and then gets rediscovered when someone knocks one out of the park. 3:10 To Yuma is a remake of a movie I've never seen... which makes it new to me! This movie rocked. Lots of moments of the Gladiator dude being cool. Lots of Christian Bale looking like a pansy-ass mofo... but somehow being cool while doing it. A couple fun cameos. Good shit! Westerns rock. Watch this one.
Concise! That's the keyword since this post is going to take the full length of the front screen and has taken me close to an hour to finish [which is awesome since it'll serve as my hour of writing for Sunday and keep my anti-laziness pledge.]
One last movie and it's one we just watched tonight...
The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters
Lawd have mercy. A documentary about a subculture that is described as "competitive video gaming." For most of us, "competitive video gaming" was like Brian and I sitting under my mom's staircase playing Tecmo Bowl and using the Raiders so that you could run circles around everyone with Bo Jackson or dropping back to your own endzone for the 100 yard pass.
For these guys? It's an addiction, it's life and death [death threats are exchanged according to one player], and for some, it's really the pinnacle of their lives. You'll watch this and at times think it's got to be a show. It's got to be a mockumentary like Drop Dead Gorgeous or Best In Show but there's no Fred Willard to make me giggle every few seconds. There's just poor, sad souls that make you fill up with a mix of sympathy and a desire to mock.
It's a tough internal struggle that all viewers of this flick must endure.
At first, you feel sorry for the man who gets laid off the day he and his wife sign the papers for their new house. But that pity kinda goes in a different direction as his wife, friends, and family members go on and one about how he's never accomplished anything in life and how they just want to see him excel at something and be happy for once. And then when you find out what he's decided to excel in is breaking the world record for Donkey Kong? The pity goes yet another direction! And then to see the lengths he has to go to to try and accomplish that goal? This is really a masterfully done character piece. In wrestling terms, this guy is the ultimate babyface... even after his mother says she thinks he might be a little autistic while we're watching him play the drums on a 5 year old's drumkit.
On the other side of the coin, the current record holder is a dick... plain and simple. The pure ego this guy has for holding world records for a video game will make you want to kick the shit out of him and laugh at the same time. He is the ultimate heel, the perfect foil to our babyface. He uses political pressure to deny our hero, he faces allegations of cheating, he ostracizes, he challenges and then avoids. He basically turns into the perfect pussy heel that's just aching for the final showdown.
I don't want to spoil this one for anyone so... go watch it. It's one of the my favorite things I've seen lately.
Ok... I'm done. Hopefully for you new readers, you weren't too traumatized. The wife can't believe I used a donkey show reference in the first paragraph but as a very wise man once said, "I am what I am."
Pass the spinach cause I be out!
We've been on a bit of a movie rental kick lately which is ironic in an Alanis Morissette kinda way as we barely used Netflix and/or Blockbuster Online for the whole time we had them. Both are canceled now and we suddenly find ourselves renting movies over the past two weeks. Who knew?
In honor of that and that pesky award show coming up next weekend where awards will be given to movies none of us have seen, actors whose names we don't recognize without crib notes, original songs sung by rodents [Come on, Enchanted!] and the phrase "Who are you wearing?" is used ten times per second and _not_ to a man named Buffalo Bill. But a shiny nickel if someone tucks and poses ala Jay from Clerks 2. Bonus points if Goodbye Horses is playing.
But I digress.
I shall now do my very best Siskel and Ebert impression which'll likely end up a lot more like when Howard Stern talks about movies...
Before I go into the rentals, let me talk about Eragon.
Ohhhh my, let me talk about Eragon.
You see, Eragon, as a novel, holds a special piece of inspiration for me. For those who don't know the story, the author Christopher Paolini, a home-schooled little bastard who lives in Bumfuck, Montana where there is nothing to do but smoke lots and lots of weed [come on, Phil Jackson "summers" there... girl, you know it's true] was all of fifteen years old when he wrote the first draft of Eragon upon "graduating from high school."
...
Let's let that sink in for a bit.
He was fifteen.
FIFTEEN.
Now, granted, living in Montana and being home-schooled, he must have felt like he was forty but HE WAS FIFTEEN!
According to the bio on his site, he "took a second year to revise." His family decided it was good and decided to self-publish. The book was sent to press and the first copies hit stores in November 2001... when he was eighteen.
That son of a bitch.
So, as you can see, for an aspiring writer like myself, that really toasts my balls. Or inspires me. Sometimes I can't decide which.
See, while I was eighteen and doing dumb shit like drinking on golf courses, this guy was a published author...
...but he was still living in Montana with his parents.
Hrmm.
Tossup, I guess.
BUT I DIGRESS!
Anyways, the book was goodish. It wasn't setting the world on fire but it was a solid read and I was looking forward to more. In between reading the first book and the second, I went through all of George RR Martin's "Song of Fire And Ice" saga that's been published so far which I can not imagine has a peer in the realm of sci-fi/fantasy writing so... I'm not all hot and bothered by Eragon anymore.
But I still dug it enough to be somewhat stoked when at Comic-Con a couple years ago, they announced that they were making an Eragon movie. It really was a book meant to have a movie made of it and coming fresh off LOTR and Potter being megahits, it seemed like it might be a chance for sci-fi/fantasy to make a huge comeback in the cinema which would rock my proverbial socks.
I didn't go see the movie in the theaters... sue me. I didn't even rent it on DVD. I felt bad! I really did!
Now that I've seen it on HBO last week? Not so much.
What a steaming pile of crap that was. I don't even know where to start about how bad it was. The acting was terrible. Some of the effects were just embarassing considerin the level of effects that are possible now. The action sequences were uninspiring. The story was rushed and barely clung to the original plot.
It was ass. Major stinky ass.
Oh, and the dragon! See, I'm going to spoil shit for you so don't read it if you really plan on watching or reading this but I would suggest doing neither because the second book [which I read a few weeks ago] basically pissed me off so DON'T GIVE THE LITTLE MONTANA BASTARD ANY MORE MONEY! The dragon "talks" to Eragon through their minds. Don't laugh, asshole. It's cool. But not when the dragon sounds like Angela Lansbury! GRRRARRRRGH!
Anyways... don't watch that movie. It sucked. If I was Roger Ebert, I would not give this movie a thumbs up. I wouldn't give it a thumbs down either. I'd track down the writer that adapted that screenplay, cut off _his_ thumb, and bury it deep in his rectal region.
So, after seeing that, I was reluctant to race into watching Stardust, one of the other movies we rented that I was really looking forward to.
We opted to start with Shoot 'Em Up.
Shoot 'Em Up was another movie we were pissed we missed in the theater because the footage they screened at the Con was amazingly cool. So, we were stoked at finally getting the chance to see it.
The action scenes were beautifully done... brilliantly choreographed. We had just seen Smokin' Aces [not a bad flick, btw] the week prior so it had some tough competition but came out like a champ. Clive Owen continues to look like a badass in every movie he's in. This could have just as easily been a continuation of his segment of Sin City. Paul Giamatti is perfect as the slimy, snarky, always-a-step-ahead villain. Monica Belluci is hot... well, she is, dammit! And really that was her only purpose in the movie so bravo, my lady, bravo! The plot's a little convoluted and flabby but it's really only window dressing for the action scenes anyways. It had a lot of Charlie's Angelsesque "Did he really just fucking do that?" action so go in prepared to put your disbelief under your chair for 80 minutes and enjoy. I'd give it a thumb to the side... nothing fantabulous but I didn't wish I'd had the hour and a half of my life back.
In showing true cinematic diversity, we progressed on to Ratatouille, Pixar-Disney's latest fling in computer animation.
Sigh.
What the fuck is with computer animation? I mean, I know they like it cause it's pretty. I know they can make things look "more real" with it. But what the hell is wrong with hand-drawn cel animation?! The stuff in Enchanted was the bombdiggity and gave me great hope that the heart and soul hadn't been ripped out of Disney's Animation department and replaced with that fucking clock the Tin Man got from the Wizard of Oz. Beauty And The Beast, Aladdin, Lion King... that's the good shit, baby. I love Toy Story, Toy Story 2, Monsters Inc, Nemo... so don't get me wrong, the computer stuff can be good too. But dammit... just give me someone with a pencil every now and again so my brain doesn't bleed. If you ever get a chance, check out a fantastic documentary called Dream On Silly Dreamer. We saw it at the Con two years ago and bought the DVD on the spot. It's about the "high times and tragic fate of Disney Feature Animation" according to the box. A beautiful and depressing as hell story. But we hold out hope, John Lassiter. Get 'er done.
What was I talking about? Oh, the rat movie.
It was alright. The wife liked it more than I did. She was all giddy for it and looked like she might cry at any moment which doesn't say much because I swear she may have cried at the end of Anchorman... true story! But not.
Anyways... rat movie was okay. It had some heart and looked pretty. I might like it more on a rewatch. Absolutely hated Nemo the first time I watched it and didn't even make it through my first viewing of A Bug's Life. On the grand scale of Pixar flicks, I'd slot it in above Cars [since I haven't seen it!] but... well, below everything else. It _might_ check in higher than Bug's Life. I'd have to rewatch that one too.
NEXT!
We went to watch Across The Universe but the DVD player suddenly decided it didn't want to play dialogue which makes watching a musical a little tricky. I swapped in Stardust to see if that'd work... it didn't. I fiddled with some cables for a bit and suddenly, we had sound. Beautiful! I AM A GENIUS! Actually, I just unplugged one of the audio cables so I only had Mono sound... but still, genius!
Stardust was... well, awesome. I don't have a single complaint actually. The acting was great, the effects were perfect, the plot was awesome [thank you, Mr. Gaiman and thanks adapters for not fucking it up... GO FIX ERAGON!], the music was incredible, and... well, yeah. I was stoked after it was over. Go out of your way to see this movie if you're any fan of sci-fi/fantasy at all. If you're not, give it a shot... you still might like it.
The one negative I took away from Stardust was simple. After seeing Stardust and Serenity both get absolutely destroyed at the box office, I have great fear for the future of the genre in the cinema. Now, obviously we can expect things like The Hobbit and the Potter movies to continue to get churned out and clean house but the smaller films seem to be suffering. Is it a matter of having too much of a niche audience? Is it bad marketing? It's not the movies, dammit, because they were both near flawless. Numbers, you say? Here are the numbers...
Stardust made a total domestic gross of almost 39 million. They tacked on another 96 or so worldwide for a total of 135 million. The production budget was estimated at 70 million and doesn't include marketing and such.
Serenity made 25.5 mil domestic and 13 and change worldwide for a total of about 39 mil on a 39 mil production budget. That makes me want to cry. I WEEP FOR THE WORLD!
And you know why I weep for the world?
Because Step Up 2 The Streets made 26 million dollars this weekend.
Because Eragon made 250 million dollars worldwide... and made me want to stab out my eyes and cut off my ears.
BECAUSE THE PACIFIER MADE 200 MILLION DOLLARS WORLDWIDE! VIN DIESEL AS A BABYSITTER MADE 200 MILLION DOLLARS!
I weep because shows like Arrested Development, Firefly, Wonderfalls, and Journeyman end up scrapped while we get treated to sixteen versions of CSI and Law & Order. I weep because crap like Air Bud 2 gets green-lighted while The Watchmen and Justice League sat in developmental hell for years. I weep because it makes national headlines when a reporter quips that Chelsea Clinton got "pimped out" and because Britney's dad hates her lawyer. I weep that trainwreck television like Celebrity Rehab is made... and that I somehow find myself watching it because it's so damn amazing to see former "stars" on the last rung of life.
Erm... I got carried away again.
BUT I DIGRESS!
Go see Stardust. You know what else you should see? Across The Universe. Well, let's make things really clear on that...
1] You should enjoy musicals. As was referenced this evening, I have "an affinity for musicals" [thanks Mark] - so I enjoyed this movie a lot.
2] You should at least have a mild interest in the Beatles' music. If you hate the Beatles, your money may be better spent on buying a copy of Eragon to use as a coaster if you run out in a crisis.
3] You should be able to least imagine you've been on a mind-altering drug at some point in your life - and yes, we'll include SEVERE doses of alcohol in this. If you've ever drank so much that you looked at your blurry hand and thought it was amusing that you had fingers, that'll do, donkey.
If you meet all three of these criteria, you will likely enjoy this movie.
Nice, clear, concise review! No rants there!
Although, I could discuss the insanity of the Beatles segment on the Grammys again if you'd like. No? Fine.
NEXT!
3:10 To Yuma.
I love me some Westerns. It's a genre that tends to get forgotten for lengthy periods of time and then gets rediscovered when someone knocks one out of the park. 3:10 To Yuma is a remake of a movie I've never seen... which makes it new to me! This movie rocked. Lots of moments of the Gladiator dude being cool. Lots of Christian Bale looking like a pansy-ass mofo... but somehow being cool while doing it. A couple fun cameos. Good shit! Westerns rock. Watch this one.
Concise! That's the keyword since this post is going to take the full length of the front screen and has taken me close to an hour to finish [which is awesome since it'll serve as my hour of writing for Sunday and keep my anti-laziness pledge.]
One last movie and it's one we just watched tonight...
The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters
Lawd have mercy. A documentary about a subculture that is described as "competitive video gaming." For most of us, "competitive video gaming" was like Brian and I sitting under my mom's staircase playing Tecmo Bowl and using the Raiders so that you could run circles around everyone with Bo Jackson or dropping back to your own endzone for the 100 yard pass.
For these guys? It's an addiction, it's life and death [death threats are exchanged according to one player], and for some, it's really the pinnacle of their lives. You'll watch this and at times think it's got to be a show. It's got to be a mockumentary like Drop Dead Gorgeous or Best In Show but there's no Fred Willard to make me giggle every few seconds. There's just poor, sad souls that make you fill up with a mix of sympathy and a desire to mock.
It's a tough internal struggle that all viewers of this flick must endure.
At first, you feel sorry for the man who gets laid off the day he and his wife sign the papers for their new house. But that pity kinda goes in a different direction as his wife, friends, and family members go on and one about how he's never accomplished anything in life and how they just want to see him excel at something and be happy for once. And then when you find out what he's decided to excel in is breaking the world record for Donkey Kong? The pity goes yet another direction! And then to see the lengths he has to go to to try and accomplish that goal? This is really a masterfully done character piece. In wrestling terms, this guy is the ultimate babyface... even after his mother says she thinks he might be a little autistic while we're watching him play the drums on a 5 year old's drumkit.
On the other side of the coin, the current record holder is a dick... plain and simple. The pure ego this guy has for holding world records for a video game will make you want to kick the shit out of him and laugh at the same time. He is the ultimate heel, the perfect foil to our babyface. He uses political pressure to deny our hero, he faces allegations of cheating, he ostracizes, he challenges and then avoids. He basically turns into the perfect pussy heel that's just aching for the final showdown.
I don't want to spoil this one for anyone so... go watch it. It's one of the my favorite things I've seen lately.
Ok... I'm done. Hopefully for you new readers, you weren't too traumatized. The wife can't believe I used a donkey show reference in the first paragraph but as a very wise man once said, "I am what I am."
Pass the spinach cause I be out!
2008-02-15
Indulge Your Inner Geek
So... I felt a great disturbance in the Force and I'm looking for answers.
I just was watching Revenge Of The Sith on HBO and something at the end struck me as being a little odd.
Death Star Facts!
1. We know that at the end of Episode 2, Count Dooku fled with the plans to the Death Star. So, at earliest... that's when they started working on the "that's no moon, it's a..." space station.
2. At the end of Episode III after Anakin gets "suited up", he joins the Emperor on the deck of what will become a Star Destroyer. As they're looking out the bridge window, they're looking at a partially completed Death Star... the exterior structure in place with no outside cosmetic shielding, etc. Presumably they've got the superlaser and propulsion in place since that would seem to be done early in the process.
3. As we know, the first Death Star is not completed until A New Hope when it becomes fully operational. Luke and Leia are 18 years old in A New Hope which means that the first Death Star took at least 18 years [presumably longer] to build. And of course, that shit gets blown up at the end of the movie.
4. At the beginning of Return of the Jedi, we learn there's a new Death Star being built. It's not fully complete but it's pretty close as they can land on it, live on it, rule on it, all sorts of shit. And of course, by the end, we know that the superlaser is functional. That means that shit's pretty close to being done. The events of ROTJ take place a mere 4 years after A New Hope.
So, you can see where I'm going with, right?
Right?
Are you telling me that there are that many technological advances in the Star Wars universe that they somehow manage to go from a 18+ year build time for the first Death Star to sub-5 years? CRAZY!
And honestly, if there _are_ that many technological advances in the Star Wars universe, why the fuck can they not get some shields on a god damn TIE Fighter?
I just was watching Revenge Of The Sith on HBO and something at the end struck me as being a little odd.
Death Star Facts!
1. We know that at the end of Episode 2, Count Dooku fled with the plans to the Death Star. So, at earliest... that's when they started working on the "that's no moon, it's a..." space station.
2. At the end of Episode III after Anakin gets "suited up", he joins the Emperor on the deck of what will become a Star Destroyer. As they're looking out the bridge window, they're looking at a partially completed Death Star... the exterior structure in place with no outside cosmetic shielding, etc. Presumably they've got the superlaser and propulsion in place since that would seem to be done early in the process.
3. As we know, the first Death Star is not completed until A New Hope when it becomes fully operational. Luke and Leia are 18 years old in A New Hope which means that the first Death Star took at least 18 years [presumably longer] to build. And of course, that shit gets blown up at the end of the movie.
4. At the beginning of Return of the Jedi, we learn there's a new Death Star being built. It's not fully complete but it's pretty close as they can land on it, live on it, rule on it, all sorts of shit. And of course, by the end, we know that the superlaser is functional. That means that shit's pretty close to being done. The events of ROTJ take place a mere 4 years after A New Hope.
So, you can see where I'm going with, right?
Right?
Are you telling me that there are that many technological advances in the Star Wars universe that they somehow manage to go from a 18+ year build time for the first Death Star to sub-5 years? CRAZY!
And honestly, if there _are_ that many technological advances in the Star Wars universe, why the fuck can they not get some shields on a god damn TIE Fighter?
2008-02-14
PITCHERS AND CATCHERS ARE THERE!!!
Oh, hell yes.
Baseball season officially begins today as pitchers and catchers start reporting. It's the time of year where optimism and hope spring eternal and everyone's team is undefeated. I can almost smell the fresh cut grass at Dodger Stadium already. It's a beautiful day, baseball fans.
The news already is spilling from Vero Beach as the Dodgers prepare for their final spring training Dodgertown. I have mixed feelings on that as Dodgertown is flat out awesome. The one season I got to go is filled with great memories and I was just a little kid. On the other hand, they're going to be in Arizona now and a yearly weekend trip to check out spring training is no longer out of the question.
The Dodgers are in for an interesting camp. There's not a lot of new players to work into the mix but there are a lot of questions to answer. Here's my Top 5 questions for Dodgers Spring Training.
1. Who will be the fifth starter?
Esteban Loaiza and Jason Schmidt are the likely two choices barring a trade or a shocking spring from someone on the fringe [Stults or Kuo most likely.] Loiaza and Schmidt were both at camp early and already hard at work. Loaiza says that he's ready to complete for the fifth starter spot. He says he's healthy and that we didn't see the real him last year. Let's hope not. Jason Schmidt is "on schedule" in his rehab but they're already anticipating he won't be ready for the start of the season. He sounds less than optimistic in his interviews too for a full recovery. He's working hard and making progress but it's not all sunshine and roses like I'd hope to hear on the first day of spring training. If he doesn't recover, Loaiza will have a huge spotlight on his every pitch.
2. Who's on third?
Andy LaRoche has been the Dodgers assumed third-baseman-of-the-future for a long, long time but somewhere along the way, he seemed to fall out of favor with the brass. There was a lot of talk about trading for a third baseman in the winter but nothing ever developed. Nomar Garciaparra had a horrible 2007 and is very lucky he signed a two-year deal after his Comeback Of The Year season. Nomar is probably the presumed Opening Day Starter until LaRoche can steal it away from him.
3. Will the odd spring training affect the team?
The Dodgers will have spring training in four places this year. They're starting in Florida... then half the team is going to China for an exhibition game while the other half moves to Arizona. When returning from China, they've got more exhibition games scheduled for Los Angeles. It's a tough schedule and I'm really hoping they don't show up in April worse for wear.
4. How do we resolve the outfield problem?
In the winter of 2007, Ned Coletti panicked and signed Juan Pierre to a ridiculous deal. While I really enjoy the speed he brings to the team as I think the stolen base is becoming an antique in the current game, his defense and weak throwing arm proved to be an annoyance to fans and a subject of constant criticism for the team. When confronted with the need to upgrade the offense, Coletti went for another CF in Andruw Jones with the idea that he'd push Pierre to a corner OF spot. The problem there is that most teams get a large part of their production from the corner OF spots and don't use them for a slap-hitting, speed demon. Especially when you already have two slugging corner OFers in place in Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp. Dodger fans rioted at the news, stunned that they would actually bench Ethier or Kemp in favor of Pierre. Many wonder if new manager Joe Torre will go along with the plan or if Pierre is about to become a very expensive pinch runner. Lots of trade rumors involving Ethier as well. Something's gotta give!
5. What effect will Joe Torre have?
The million dollar question. A lot of the blame in last year's total collapse fell on Grady Little. Well, that's no excuse now. Torre's got the tough job of patching the clubhouse back together, developing young players, keeping old players productive, solving at least two position player situations, keeping the pitching staff strong [including avoiding the Torre rep of abusing his relievers], and getting this team through a tough NL West and into the playoffs where the Dodgers have won _one_ game in twenty years. It's time for the Dodgers to get back in business... and much of that falls on Joe Torre's shoulders.
Lots of questions and I can't wait to get the answers.
Game f'n on!
Baseball season officially begins today as pitchers and catchers start reporting. It's the time of year where optimism and hope spring eternal and everyone's team is undefeated. I can almost smell the fresh cut grass at Dodger Stadium already. It's a beautiful day, baseball fans.
The news already is spilling from Vero Beach as the Dodgers prepare for their final spring training Dodgertown. I have mixed feelings on that as Dodgertown is flat out awesome. The one season I got to go is filled with great memories and I was just a little kid. On the other hand, they're going to be in Arizona now and a yearly weekend trip to check out spring training is no longer out of the question.
The Dodgers are in for an interesting camp. There's not a lot of new players to work into the mix but there are a lot of questions to answer. Here's my Top 5 questions for Dodgers Spring Training.
1. Who will be the fifth starter?
Esteban Loaiza and Jason Schmidt are the likely two choices barring a trade or a shocking spring from someone on the fringe [Stults or Kuo most likely.] Loiaza and Schmidt were both at camp early and already hard at work. Loaiza says that he's ready to complete for the fifth starter spot. He says he's healthy and that we didn't see the real him last year. Let's hope not. Jason Schmidt is "on schedule" in his rehab but they're already anticipating he won't be ready for the start of the season. He sounds less than optimistic in his interviews too for a full recovery. He's working hard and making progress but it's not all sunshine and roses like I'd hope to hear on the first day of spring training. If he doesn't recover, Loaiza will have a huge spotlight on his every pitch.
2. Who's on third?
Andy LaRoche has been the Dodgers assumed third-baseman-of-the-future for a long, long time but somewhere along the way, he seemed to fall out of favor with the brass. There was a lot of talk about trading for a third baseman in the winter but nothing ever developed. Nomar Garciaparra had a horrible 2007 and is very lucky he signed a two-year deal after his Comeback Of The Year season. Nomar is probably the presumed Opening Day Starter until LaRoche can steal it away from him.
3. Will the odd spring training affect the team?
The Dodgers will have spring training in four places this year. They're starting in Florida... then half the team is going to China for an exhibition game while the other half moves to Arizona. When returning from China, they've got more exhibition games scheduled for Los Angeles. It's a tough schedule and I'm really hoping they don't show up in April worse for wear.
4. How do we resolve the outfield problem?
In the winter of 2007, Ned Coletti panicked and signed Juan Pierre to a ridiculous deal. While I really enjoy the speed he brings to the team as I think the stolen base is becoming an antique in the current game, his defense and weak throwing arm proved to be an annoyance to fans and a subject of constant criticism for the team. When confronted with the need to upgrade the offense, Coletti went for another CF in Andruw Jones with the idea that he'd push Pierre to a corner OF spot. The problem there is that most teams get a large part of their production from the corner OF spots and don't use them for a slap-hitting, speed demon. Especially when you already have two slugging corner OFers in place in Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp. Dodger fans rioted at the news, stunned that they would actually bench Ethier or Kemp in favor of Pierre. Many wonder if new manager Joe Torre will go along with the plan or if Pierre is about to become a very expensive pinch runner. Lots of trade rumors involving Ethier as well. Something's gotta give!
5. What effect will Joe Torre have?
The million dollar question. A lot of the blame in last year's total collapse fell on Grady Little. Well, that's no excuse now. Torre's got the tough job of patching the clubhouse back together, developing young players, keeping old players productive, solving at least two position player situations, keeping the pitching staff strong [including avoiding the Torre rep of abusing his relievers], and getting this team through a tough NL West and into the playoffs where the Dodgers have won _one_ game in twenty years. It's time for the Dodgers to get back in business... and much of that falls on Joe Torre's shoulders.
Lots of questions and I can't wait to get the answers.
Game f'n on!
You Call Him Dr. Jones, doll!
Oh... my... god.
After all these years of speculation and bullshit, the trailer for the new Indiana Jones movie officially premiered this morning on Good Morning America [more on that in a moment.]
I just can't believe it's finally here. I never really thought this movie would get made. For years, everytime it was mentioned, all we heard was how Lucas didn't like this script or that script, how a new writer was being brought on board, how it didn't fit in their schedules. And as Harrison Ford got older and older, I really did loose faith that it would ever get made.
But finally... once again... it must be said that if adventure has a name, it must be Indiana Jones.
The trailer gives me chills. But honestly, I probably could close my eyes, just hear the music and have the same reaction. The trailer is a beautiful piece of work and does exactly what a trailer for a well-established brand name should. It should tease you and just give enough to make you a giddy child again inside.
I remember standing in line waiting for Temple of Doom. I remember going to see the Last Crusade in the theater. And I definitely remember closing my eyes tightly during the end of Raiders when the skin was melting off the Nazis. Ahhh... memories.
At some point last year after going to a midnight Order of the Phoenix screening, I said there are very few movies anymore that would get me out at midnight to see them. Well, Dr. Jones will definitely do that. May 22, midnight... mark it down, people.
Oh, and if you haven't seen the trailer...
Oh, side note... fuck Good Morning America. They get exclusive rights to premiere the trailer on television and they throw up all these fucking graphics advertising "FIRST LOOK ON GMA!" plus the standard GMA logo/clock thing in another corner with the god damn newscrawl at the bottom of the screen. Way to kill the moment, bitches. And then they say they're going to show it again... and proceed to talk over it. Thank god for the internet. And the networks wonder why people piss on their shows.
After all these years of speculation and bullshit, the trailer for the new Indiana Jones movie officially premiered this morning on Good Morning America [more on that in a moment.]
I just can't believe it's finally here. I never really thought this movie would get made. For years, everytime it was mentioned, all we heard was how Lucas didn't like this script or that script, how a new writer was being brought on board, how it didn't fit in their schedules. And as Harrison Ford got older and older, I really did loose faith that it would ever get made.
But finally... once again... it must be said that if adventure has a name, it must be Indiana Jones.
The trailer gives me chills. But honestly, I probably could close my eyes, just hear the music and have the same reaction. The trailer is a beautiful piece of work and does exactly what a trailer for a well-established brand name should. It should tease you and just give enough to make you a giddy child again inside.
I remember standing in line waiting for Temple of Doom. I remember going to see the Last Crusade in the theater. And I definitely remember closing my eyes tightly during the end of Raiders when the skin was melting off the Nazis. Ahhh... memories.
At some point last year after going to a midnight Order of the Phoenix screening, I said there are very few movies anymore that would get me out at midnight to see them. Well, Dr. Jones will definitely do that. May 22, midnight... mark it down, people.
Oh, and if you haven't seen the trailer...
Oh, side note... fuck Good Morning America. They get exclusive rights to premiere the trailer on television and they throw up all these fucking graphics advertising "FIRST LOOK ON GMA!" plus the standard GMA logo/clock thing in another corner with the god damn newscrawl at the bottom of the screen. Way to kill the moment, bitches. And then they say they're going to show it again... and proceed to talk over it. Thank god for the internet. And the networks wonder why people piss on their shows.
Cro Cop back to Japan
Ugh.
Just plain "ugh."
That was my reaction when I saw the news on Wrestling Observer on Tuesday that Mirko CroCop was heading to Japan where he was going to announce that he was going to be part of a new K-1 funded MMA promotion.
Ugh.
The reports say that CroCop had gone mute after his last UFC loss and that UFC officials didn't know if he was retiring or not. Apparently they set some kind of a deadline to hear from him before they'd cut his contract [I don't understand how you cut a contract and don't have to pay the money... does UFC have contracts like WWE?] It's a little fuzzy on whether or not CroCop told them he wanted to stay but apparently he was told that he should accept a pay cut because his performance thusfar wasn't worth what he was being paid. If only other major sports could get away with that. Kevin Brown, Darren Dreifort, Darryl Strawberry... man, the Dodgers could've gotten a lot of mileage out of that clause.
Cro Cop rightfully told them to stuff it, was cut from his contract, and now has returned to the Land of the Rising Sun.
So much for my MMA dream match of Cro Cop vs Brock.
It's not all bad, I suppose. This new promotion has an alliance with M-1 so we may get another Cro Cop/Fedor fight. And watching Cro Cop fight in Japan is always awesome no matter who the opponent is. He's just a fucking hero to those people. I sent this to a few people earlier in the year but this was his appearance he made at a PRO WRESTLING event on New Year's. Check it out and then have absolutely no question as to why he's going back to Japan.
Just plain "ugh."
That was my reaction when I saw the news on Wrestling Observer on Tuesday that Mirko CroCop was heading to Japan where he was going to announce that he was going to be part of a new K-1 funded MMA promotion.
Ugh.
The reports say that CroCop had gone mute after his last UFC loss and that UFC officials didn't know if he was retiring or not. Apparently they set some kind of a deadline to hear from him before they'd cut his contract [I don't understand how you cut a contract and don't have to pay the money... does UFC have contracts like WWE?] It's a little fuzzy on whether or not CroCop told them he wanted to stay but apparently he was told that he should accept a pay cut because his performance thusfar wasn't worth what he was being paid. If only other major sports could get away with that. Kevin Brown, Darren Dreifort, Darryl Strawberry... man, the Dodgers could've gotten a lot of mileage out of that clause.
Cro Cop rightfully told them to stuff it, was cut from his contract, and now has returned to the Land of the Rising Sun.
So much for my MMA dream match of Cro Cop vs Brock.
It's not all bad, I suppose. This new promotion has an alliance with M-1 so we may get another Cro Cop/Fedor fight. And watching Cro Cop fight in Japan is always awesome no matter who the opponent is. He's just a fucking hero to those people. I sent this to a few people earlier in the year but this was his appearance he made at a PRO WRESTLING event on New Year's. Check it out and then have absolutely no question as to why he's going back to Japan.
Doin' Time
So, like I mentioned earlier this week [I think}, I've been doing an hour of writing every other day as part of this anti-laziness campaign. Now, all of that writing so far has been on a sitcom teleplay that's been rattling around my brain for a year or two that I finally decided to put the proverbial pen to paper on. But I'm kinda stuck on it and I need to write something to fulfill the deal. And yes, it's past midnight on the 13th so I'm technically not writing on the day I'm supposed to write but it'll do, donkey.
The Writers Strike is over!
You can't understand how happy I am about that. For a couple different reasons actually. Mainly, it's because all my favorite shows [well, most] are about to get some extra episodes added to their abbreviated seasons. Shows like Lost will come pretty close to meeting what they had promised. More eps of How I Met Your Mother, 30 Rock, and The Office is awesome. And everyone's favorite guilty pleasure, Gossip Girl, has been instructed to put out as many eps as they can.
But with every silver lining comes a big fuckin' cloud.
Turns out that the 24 team will not go back to work to finish up their season and we are delayed until January 2009. Now, if it were me producing 24 and I was coming off my worst season so far, I'd probably rush my show back on the air to take the bad taste out of everyone's mouth. But that's just me.
Pushing Daisies won't be back til fall which blows but... I'll deal with that one. It was such a pleasant surprise, I won't shed any tears considering we're damn lucky that any of these shows are coming back this spring at all.
But the biggest "fuck you" of all news post-strike? NBC apparently isn't sure if they want to air the last episodes of Scrubs.
...
Let that sink in a second.
The network gave the show seven years on the air and as its final episodes are approaching to wrap the series up, NBC suddenly isn't sure if they want to show them.
Seriously?
You're fucking kidding me, right?
Not only is it a total and blatant slap in the face to all the artists [producers, writers, actors, etc.] that have worked on the show over the past six years to not allow it the send-off it richly deserves but what about the fans? You know, those fans that stuck with the show no matter what even when you jerked them around with late renewals and short seasons and timeslot Musical Fucking Chairs? You know, those same fans that are making 30 Rock and The Office successful because they appreciate smart comedies. Ringing any bells yet?
Apparently the Scrubs execs say they'll finish the show no matter what. They're co-owned by Disney so apparently the option is there to wrap things up on ABC... but God knows how that would turn out. Probably buried in the worst time slot they can possibly dream up. The other option is a straight to DVD release of the final eps. Honestly, I think I'd be happy with that. They could do the shows as they wanted... they could release them as they were meant to be seen and they can go out on the high note they deserve.
NBC has really made some jackass decisions lately. They're damn lucky I have no choice but to watch them for 30 Rock, Earl, and The Office [even though I'd drop Earl in a heartbeat with little sadness if I had to.] Well, Heroes too. Damn you, NBC. But seriously... they put a ton of money into Bionic Woman promotions... a show that was so "eh" that they couldn't even get a huge reaction from a Comic-Con crowd that pretty much jizzes over anything geek-related. And they shitcan Journeyman which was ten times the show that they churn out usually. Apparently they're also considering dropping Friday Night Lights which sadly I haven't been watching but I've heard nothing but great things about and is definitely on my "catch up on DVD someday" list.
God forbid you show quality scripted television. There might be an urgent need to shovel a few more hours of American Gladiators, To Catch A Predator, or the like onto the schedule. Maybe you can create a few dozen more Law And Order spinoffs so we can get "original" stories "ripped from the headlines" which is a nice, cute way of saying, "We pay our writers to sit in front of CNN and write down any shit that Nancy Grace is going to cover tonight." I can't wait for the episode where the steroid-fueled pro wrestler murders his wife and child before offing himself. It'll be money for sure. I know I'll be glued to the TV to watch it... unless it conflicts with one of the dreaded VH1 reality shows which are like visual crack.
Jesus... that was a major tangent.
Anyways... my other reason for being happy about the strike being over?
Apparently they got a decent deal... better than they expected. As an aspiring writer who would treasure a WGA membership card, I'm happy that they made the sacrifice for the future. Since the entire disagreement was based on residuals, it really is more for the future of the union... the future members who aren't quite there yet. Sure, some current writers will benefit but as the Internet becomes more and more a force in television/film viewing, it's those who've yet to pen their first screenplay that will beenfit. And for that, I thank them in advance.
I mean, they took a lot of heat from people for it... even from members of their own union. I don't think people quite understand the conviction and courage it takes to go out on strike like that. Overall, I'm not a huge union fan because I've been burned by watching the major sports unions do their damndest to torture fans all over the world. I've also had the displeasure of being bullied by union rules on worksites at my last job. But... honestly, to walk out of your job with no guarantee of when you're going back? Guts. To risk your house, your health, your children's educations, your... well, you get the point. It's an admirable... or really stupid... thing to do. Let me know which one you decide it is.
Anyways... the strike is over... I've written for 20 minutes or so now... uhhhh... more in a bit maybe?
Pens to paper, my friends. Pens to paper.
The Writers Strike is over!
You can't understand how happy I am about that. For a couple different reasons actually. Mainly, it's because all my favorite shows [well, most] are about to get some extra episodes added to their abbreviated seasons. Shows like Lost will come pretty close to meeting what they had promised. More eps of How I Met Your Mother, 30 Rock, and The Office is awesome. And everyone's favorite guilty pleasure, Gossip Girl, has been instructed to put out as many eps as they can.
But with every silver lining comes a big fuckin' cloud.
Turns out that the 24 team will not go back to work to finish up their season and we are delayed until January 2009. Now, if it were me producing 24 and I was coming off my worst season so far, I'd probably rush my show back on the air to take the bad taste out of everyone's mouth. But that's just me.
Pushing Daisies won't be back til fall which blows but... I'll deal with that one. It was such a pleasant surprise, I won't shed any tears considering we're damn lucky that any of these shows are coming back this spring at all.
But the biggest "fuck you" of all news post-strike? NBC apparently isn't sure if they want to air the last episodes of Scrubs.
...
Let that sink in a second.
The network gave the show seven years on the air and as its final episodes are approaching to wrap the series up, NBC suddenly isn't sure if they want to show them.
Seriously?
You're fucking kidding me, right?
Not only is it a total and blatant slap in the face to all the artists [producers, writers, actors, etc.] that have worked on the show over the past six years to not allow it the send-off it richly deserves but what about the fans? You know, those fans that stuck with the show no matter what even when you jerked them around with late renewals and short seasons and timeslot Musical Fucking Chairs? You know, those same fans that are making 30 Rock and The Office successful because they appreciate smart comedies. Ringing any bells yet?
Apparently the Scrubs execs say they'll finish the show no matter what. They're co-owned by Disney so apparently the option is there to wrap things up on ABC... but God knows how that would turn out. Probably buried in the worst time slot they can possibly dream up. The other option is a straight to DVD release of the final eps. Honestly, I think I'd be happy with that. They could do the shows as they wanted... they could release them as they were meant to be seen and they can go out on the high note they deserve.
NBC has really made some jackass decisions lately. They're damn lucky I have no choice but to watch them for 30 Rock, Earl, and The Office [even though I'd drop Earl in a heartbeat with little sadness if I had to.] Well, Heroes too. Damn you, NBC. But seriously... they put a ton of money into Bionic Woman promotions... a show that was so "eh" that they couldn't even get a huge reaction from a Comic-Con crowd that pretty much jizzes over anything geek-related. And they shitcan Journeyman which was ten times the show that they churn out usually. Apparently they're also considering dropping Friday Night Lights which sadly I haven't been watching but I've heard nothing but great things about and is definitely on my "catch up on DVD someday" list.
God forbid you show quality scripted television. There might be an urgent need to shovel a few more hours of American Gladiators, To Catch A Predator, or the like onto the schedule. Maybe you can create a few dozen more Law And Order spinoffs so we can get "original" stories "ripped from the headlines" which is a nice, cute way of saying, "We pay our writers to sit in front of CNN and write down any shit that Nancy Grace is going to cover tonight." I can't wait for the episode where the steroid-fueled pro wrestler murders his wife and child before offing himself. It'll be money for sure. I know I'll be glued to the TV to watch it... unless it conflicts with one of the dreaded VH1 reality shows which are like visual crack.
Jesus... that was a major tangent.
Anyways... my other reason for being happy about the strike being over?
Apparently they got a decent deal... better than they expected. As an aspiring writer who would treasure a WGA membership card, I'm happy that they made the sacrifice for the future. Since the entire disagreement was based on residuals, it really is more for the future of the union... the future members who aren't quite there yet. Sure, some current writers will benefit but as the Internet becomes more and more a force in television/film viewing, it's those who've yet to pen their first screenplay that will beenfit. And for that, I thank them in advance.
I mean, they took a lot of heat from people for it... even from members of their own union. I don't think people quite understand the conviction and courage it takes to go out on strike like that. Overall, I'm not a huge union fan because I've been burned by watching the major sports unions do their damndest to torture fans all over the world. I've also had the displeasure of being bullied by union rules on worksites at my last job. But... honestly, to walk out of your job with no guarantee of when you're going back? Guts. To risk your house, your health, your children's educations, your... well, you get the point. It's an admirable... or really stupid... thing to do. Let me know which one you decide it is.
Anyways... the strike is over... I've written for 20 minutes or so now... uhhhh... more in a bit maybe?
Pens to paper, my friends. Pens to paper.
2008-02-12
That's Entertainment
Some items on AICN caught my eye this morning as being worth commenting on so here goes...
NEWS: New Star Wars Movie! Well, sorta.
RESPONSE: On August 15th, Warner Brothers is going to release a roughly 100 minute feature animated flick that will serve as the jumping off point for the new 3-D Animated Series which apparently will air on Cartoon Network and TNT. The other interesting news in the article is that they already have 30 half-hour episodes in the can and that Anthony Daniels will be back to voice C-3PO. That's hot. I'm looking forward to this. I mean, after all, it's Star Wars, right? Like I'd be pissed about new Star Wars even if it's Episode 2.5. The footage shown at Comic-Con to preview it looked amazing so I'm eagerly anticipating August 15th... and if I were a betting man, I'd wager that Lucasfilm gives an advanced screening at the Con so I may get to see this early. Sweet!
NEWS: Writers Strike Vote Today
REACTION: Eeeeeek. So much tension. I can't wait for tonight so we know the score.
NEWS: Dr. Who's Chris Eccleston as Destro
REACTION: Apparently David Murray stepped out and was replaced. I don't know much about Eccleston either other than I've heard a lot of good things about him. I vote this as an UPGRADE!
NEWS: Marisa Tomei scores lead role in THE WRESTLER
REACTION: Okay, so if you haven't heard, Darren Arnofsky is directing a movie called THE WRESTLER starring Mickey Rourke. For months, they have been visiting east coast indy shows [ROH, CZW, etc.] to do research and this week, news broke that they will actually be filming at a couple ROH shows soon. The basic storyline is that Rourke is a big time wrestler [think WWE] who suffers a heart attack while on top of the world and has to battle his way back to the top through the indies. Marisa apparently has been cast as a stripper who is Rourke's love interest. As a wrestling fan, this could be very, very good... or very, very bad. So far, I'm going to be hopeful as the cast seems good. Apparently Ms. Tomei is on a comeback.
NEWS: Fanboys gets its heart cut out
REACTION: There's a movie called "Fanboys" that has been hyped for the past two years at Comic-Con but has not been released yet. The basic story is a group of friends travelling cross-country to break into Skywalker Ranch to see Episode I before it is released. Along the way, there are tons of Star Wars references to make any SW fan giggle with joy. Here's the snag... the original version of this movie has these fans going on this journey because of the group has been diagnosed with cancer and is not expected to survive until the movie actually comes out. This is where the heart and soul of the movie comes from and as someone who lost a friend to cancer in '06, I can relate to the situation. But Hollywood thinks cancer has no place in a comedy and made them re-cut the movie removing that part of the story. It's things like this that make me unsure about trying to be a writer in their world.
NEWS: Sigh... lawyers.
REACTION: Two hugh fanboy movies are being hit hard by legal action. First, THE WATCHMEN finds itself in trouble as Fox apparently just decided that they, and they alone, have the rights to make a WATCHMEN movie... a fact that might have been useful to share before the movie was shot by WB. And perhaps in worse news, THE HOBBIT is in trouble again as the Tokein estate is suing New Line over Rings. Of course. Because New Line apparently just fucked everyone on Rings. Their suit states that the estate was entitled to 7.5 percent of the total gross and got nothing. Now... I just don't understand this one at all. How can you pay nothing on a multi-billion dollar franchise? Of course, part of the suit is asking for the termination of any future Tolkien projects by New Line until the matter is settled. Christ, that movie is cursed.
NEWS: Val Kilmer is the voice of KITT
REACTION: Hell, I'm just glad Kilmer has a job still. This news does nothing for me unless word breaks that he's doing it as Doc Holiday. "Why, Michael, you look like someone just... walked over your grave." Money. Pure money.
NEWS: New Star Wars Movie! Well, sorta.
RESPONSE: On August 15th, Warner Brothers is going to release a roughly 100 minute feature animated flick that will serve as the jumping off point for the new 3-D Animated Series which apparently will air on Cartoon Network and TNT. The other interesting news in the article is that they already have 30 half-hour episodes in the can and that Anthony Daniels will be back to voice C-3PO. That's hot. I'm looking forward to this. I mean, after all, it's Star Wars, right? Like I'd be pissed about new Star Wars even if it's Episode 2.5. The footage shown at Comic-Con to preview it looked amazing so I'm eagerly anticipating August 15th... and if I were a betting man, I'd wager that Lucasfilm gives an advanced screening at the Con so I may get to see this early. Sweet!
NEWS: Writers Strike Vote Today
REACTION: Eeeeeek. So much tension. I can't wait for tonight so we know the score.
NEWS: Dr. Who's Chris Eccleston as Destro
REACTION: Apparently David Murray stepped out and was replaced. I don't know much about Eccleston either other than I've heard a lot of good things about him. I vote this as an UPGRADE!
NEWS: Marisa Tomei scores lead role in THE WRESTLER
REACTION: Okay, so if you haven't heard, Darren Arnofsky is directing a movie called THE WRESTLER starring Mickey Rourke. For months, they have been visiting east coast indy shows [ROH, CZW, etc.] to do research and this week, news broke that they will actually be filming at a couple ROH shows soon. The basic storyline is that Rourke is a big time wrestler [think WWE] who suffers a heart attack while on top of the world and has to battle his way back to the top through the indies. Marisa apparently has been cast as a stripper who is Rourke's love interest. As a wrestling fan, this could be very, very good... or very, very bad. So far, I'm going to be hopeful as the cast seems good. Apparently Ms. Tomei is on a comeback.
NEWS: Fanboys gets its heart cut out
REACTION: There's a movie called "Fanboys" that has been hyped for the past two years at Comic-Con but has not been released yet. The basic story is a group of friends travelling cross-country to break into Skywalker Ranch to see Episode I before it is released. Along the way, there are tons of Star Wars references to make any SW fan giggle with joy. Here's the snag... the original version of this movie has these fans going on this journey because of the group has been diagnosed with cancer and is not expected to survive until the movie actually comes out. This is where the heart and soul of the movie comes from and as someone who lost a friend to cancer in '06, I can relate to the situation. But Hollywood thinks cancer has no place in a comedy and made them re-cut the movie removing that part of the story. It's things like this that make me unsure about trying to be a writer in their world.
NEWS: Sigh... lawyers.
REACTION: Two hugh fanboy movies are being hit hard by legal action. First, THE WATCHMEN finds itself in trouble as Fox apparently just decided that they, and they alone, have the rights to make a WATCHMEN movie... a fact that might have been useful to share before the movie was shot by WB. And perhaps in worse news, THE HOBBIT is in trouble again as the Tokein estate is suing New Line over Rings. Of course. Because New Line apparently just fucked everyone on Rings. Their suit states that the estate was entitled to 7.5 percent of the total gross and got nothing. Now... I just don't understand this one at all. How can you pay nothing on a multi-billion dollar franchise? Of course, part of the suit is asking for the termination of any future Tolkien projects by New Line until the matter is settled. Christ, that movie is cursed.
NEWS: Val Kilmer is the voice of KITT
REACTION: Hell, I'm just glad Kilmer has a job still. This news does nothing for me unless word breaks that he's doing it as Doc Holiday. "Why, Michael, you look like someone just... walked over your grave." Money. Pure money.
2008-02-11
It's just another Manic Monday
Sooooo... yeah. It seems to be a good time for some random randomocity.
NEWS: Pitchers and catchers report on Thursday!
REACTION: It's about damn time! Having suffered through another NFL season, I'm sooooo ready for baseball season to start. I'll have more on this later in the week but needless to say, I'm stoked, people!
NEWS: Lakers lookin' good
REACTION: With the latest addition to the lineup firmly ensconced, the Lakers are bringin' the pain. They haven't quite gotten to the level I expect they can play at with Gasol in the lineup but it'll come. And when Bynum gets back? Katie bar the door! It's gonna be a pier sixer!
NEWS: Superdelegates
REACTION: Okay, did anyone even know what the hell a superdelegate was before this year? And does anyone else see a major problem with someone being appointed as being so special that their opinion matters more than several thousand voters? Big problem. No matter who you're supporting in this election, you've gotta have issues with that crap.
NEWS: Grammys
REACTION: The "biggest night of the year for the music industry" was last night and shockingly, I wasn't too badly annoyed. I dug some of the collaborative performances as Tina Turner put her young counterpart to shame... as Groban and Bocelli rocked the joint... as the Beatles' love was in the air [although the Cirque stuff was too drug-addled for me to understand]... AND MORRIS DAY AND THE MOTHERFUCKIN' TIME! Herbie Hancock wins Album of the Year? Oooookay. I can't judge. I haven't heard an entire album in a long, long time.
NEWS: Writers strike
Nope, no no way, uh uh, forget it. Not saying a word until it's _really_ over.
That's it for today. Until next time, we wish you love, peace, annnnnd....
SOUL!
(Fade out on Blue doing the Robot down the middle of the Soul Train line!)
Oh man, Soul Train Scramble Board. Good times... good times.
NEWS: Pitchers and catchers report on Thursday!
REACTION: It's about damn time! Having suffered through another NFL season, I'm sooooo ready for baseball season to start. I'll have more on this later in the week but needless to say, I'm stoked, people!
NEWS: Lakers lookin' good
REACTION: With the latest addition to the lineup firmly ensconced, the Lakers are bringin' the pain. They haven't quite gotten to the level I expect they can play at with Gasol in the lineup but it'll come. And when Bynum gets back? Katie bar the door! It's gonna be a pier sixer!
NEWS: Superdelegates
REACTION: Okay, did anyone even know what the hell a superdelegate was before this year? And does anyone else see a major problem with someone being appointed as being so special that their opinion matters more than several thousand voters? Big problem. No matter who you're supporting in this election, you've gotta have issues with that crap.
NEWS: Grammys
REACTION: The "biggest night of the year for the music industry" was last night and shockingly, I wasn't too badly annoyed. I dug some of the collaborative performances as Tina Turner put her young counterpart to shame... as Groban and Bocelli rocked the joint... as the Beatles' love was in the air [although the Cirque stuff was too drug-addled for me to understand]... AND MORRIS DAY AND THE MOTHERFUCKIN' TIME! Herbie Hancock wins Album of the Year? Oooookay. I can't judge. I haven't heard an entire album in a long, long time.
NEWS: Writers strike
Nope, no no way, uh uh, forget it. Not saying a word until it's _really_ over.
That's it for today. Until next time, we wish you love, peace, annnnnd....
SOUL!
(Fade out on Blue doing the Robot down the middle of the Soul Train line!)
Oh man, Soul Train Scramble Board. Good times... good times.
2008-02-08
Time Flies Part Deux
I can't believe I haven't posted here since Tuesday. Not even sure how that happened. I really haven't had much to post about so maybe that's why.
Still sitting around the house waiting for the phone to ring. The job market seems pretty dry at the moment though. The economy may be in worse shape than we realize. Who knows?
I started writing again yesterday. Maybe something will come of that. Hopefully. It'd be awesome to be able to work from home and never have to work 9 to 5 sitting in some stuffy fucking office again. To riding your bike mid-day past the three-piece suits. Who knows?
So, Obama and Hilary duked it out to a draw on Tuesday night. The Republicans are ducking out to clear the way for their nominee while the Democrats are going balls to the wall to battle it out for the nod. Which approach will work better? Who knows?
American Idol Hollywood Week starts up next week. Should be fun. The auditions were pretty entertaining this year. Not as much venom in some of the rejections and some good stories. Best story is a tie between the kid who lives in his car and sings with a British accent and the chick whose dad died while she was on her way to the auditions. Will it be enough to get them through to the next round? Who knows?
Smackdown off the CW? Great. The only WWE show that I actually get in HD is bailing off the channel. It's an interesting situation. I wonder where it'll land. They're talking about USA and MyNetworkTV. Someone somewhere proposed Raw moving to NBC on Monday nights and Smackdown on Thursday on Raw. Like that'd ever happen. It'll be interesting to see how this all shakes out. Who knows?
The wife gave up "laziness" for Lent. I usually try to do the same every year as part of being supportive and all. That's an odd one though. She's using it as her motivation to go to the gym. I'm mixing it between that and writing every other day [at least.] We'll see if it'll stick. Who knows?
The Comic-Con buzz is in the air as hotel room reservations opened this week... and closed just as quickly. For the second year in a row, it was almost impossible to get through to reserve a hotel room. As of this writing, we still don't have one. Between the hotel situation and the crazy crowds last year, the Con is getting a little... a lot... frustrating. Not sure how much longer it'll be worth the trouble. I love getting all the advance buzz... the screenings of clips... the panels, etc. There were people on the Comic-Con blog saying they were going to get a refund on their pre-registrations and skip this year. May not be a bad idea. Who knows?
Annnnnd... I'm out.
Still sitting around the house waiting for the phone to ring. The job market seems pretty dry at the moment though. The economy may be in worse shape than we realize. Who knows?
I started writing again yesterday. Maybe something will come of that. Hopefully. It'd be awesome to be able to work from home and never have to work 9 to 5 sitting in some stuffy fucking office again. To riding your bike mid-day past the three-piece suits. Who knows?
So, Obama and Hilary duked it out to a draw on Tuesday night. The Republicans are ducking out to clear the way for their nominee while the Democrats are going balls to the wall to battle it out for the nod. Which approach will work better? Who knows?
American Idol Hollywood Week starts up next week. Should be fun. The auditions were pretty entertaining this year. Not as much venom in some of the rejections and some good stories. Best story is a tie between the kid who lives in his car and sings with a British accent and the chick whose dad died while she was on her way to the auditions. Will it be enough to get them through to the next round? Who knows?
Smackdown off the CW? Great. The only WWE show that I actually get in HD is bailing off the channel. It's an interesting situation. I wonder where it'll land. They're talking about USA and MyNetworkTV. Someone somewhere proposed Raw moving to NBC on Monday nights and Smackdown on Thursday on Raw. Like that'd ever happen. It'll be interesting to see how this all shakes out. Who knows?
The wife gave up "laziness" for Lent. I usually try to do the same every year as part of being supportive and all. That's an odd one though. She's using it as her motivation to go to the gym. I'm mixing it between that and writing every other day [at least.] We'll see if it'll stick. Who knows?
The Comic-Con buzz is in the air as hotel room reservations opened this week... and closed just as quickly. For the second year in a row, it was almost impossible to get through to reserve a hotel room. As of this writing, we still don't have one. Between the hotel situation and the crazy crowds last year, the Con is getting a little... a lot... frustrating. Not sure how much longer it'll be worth the trouble. I love getting all the advance buzz... the screenings of clips... the panels, etc. There were people on the Comic-Con blog saying they were going to get a refund on their pre-registrations and skip this year. May not be a bad idea. Who knows?
Annnnnd... I'm out.
2008-02-05
Time Flies
It's been 20 years to the day since Hulk Hogan lost the World Title to Andre The Giant on NBC. Wow.
20 years.
I remember watching it on Prime Time on NBC. It was such a huge deal to get to watch wrestling on one of the major networks and it was completely unheard of to get to do it in Prime Time. This was the first of the WWF's "The Main Event" specials that ran for a few years.
The Hogan/Andre match, workratewise, was nothing special. But it was an electric atmosphere with the big Wrestlemania III rematch. Add in that Andre had promised to hand over... to sell the World Title to Ted Dibiase if he won [completely unimaginable to my young brain] and the stage was set. Hogan had held the belt for years but this was definitely his biggest challenge and the WWF did a masterful job of making you think the title just might change hands. They sewed controversy in the WMIII match by showing the nearfall at the beginning of the match and going so far as to ban Joey Marella from refereeing this match because of the controversy. They had the big Andre attack on Hogan on Saturday Night's Main Event a couple months earlier with the choke heard 'round the world. Hogan looked vulnerable... but there was no way he would lose, right? Damn that plastic surgery. Damn it to hell.
The undercard saw the Honky Tonk Man lose to Randy Savage by countout, a disappointing win when I was a kid as Savage didn't get the title back. As an adult, I found out that HTM actually refused to lose the title that night before going to the ring and Vince brokered the countout finish to keep everyone happy. You have to wonder how much different things would have turned out if Savage won the title there. Would he still have been in the tourney at WMIV? Would he have won?
In case you have no clue what I'm talking about...
20 years.
I remember watching it on Prime Time on NBC. It was such a huge deal to get to watch wrestling on one of the major networks and it was completely unheard of to get to do it in Prime Time. This was the first of the WWF's "The Main Event" specials that ran for a few years.
The Hogan/Andre match, workratewise, was nothing special. But it was an electric atmosphere with the big Wrestlemania III rematch. Add in that Andre had promised to hand over... to sell the World Title to Ted Dibiase if he won [completely unimaginable to my young brain] and the stage was set. Hogan had held the belt for years but this was definitely his biggest challenge and the WWF did a masterful job of making you think the title just might change hands. They sewed controversy in the WMIII match by showing the nearfall at the beginning of the match and going so far as to ban Joey Marella from refereeing this match because of the controversy. They had the big Andre attack on Hogan on Saturday Night's Main Event a couple months earlier with the choke heard 'round the world. Hogan looked vulnerable... but there was no way he would lose, right? Damn that plastic surgery. Damn it to hell.
The undercard saw the Honky Tonk Man lose to Randy Savage by countout, a disappointing win when I was a kid as Savage didn't get the title back. As an adult, I found out that HTM actually refused to lose the title that night before going to the ring and Vince brokered the countout finish to keep everyone happy. You have to wonder how much different things would have turned out if Savage won the title there. Would he still have been in the tourney at WMIV? Would he have won?
In case you have no clue what I'm talking about...
2008-02-04
Yes We Can
I'm going to set the record for most posts in a day but I keep finding stuff I want to share. This was distributed to the Obama mailing list just moments ago and I was struck by how awesome it was. Like I said last week, I really don't want this to be a political blog at all but sometimes you've just gotta spread the word.
So, for all the cynics out there like the one who gave birth to me and says, "It doesn't matter who you vote for because none of them can do anything different"... this one's for you.
So, for all the cynics out there like the one who gave birth to me and says, "It doesn't matter who you vote for because none of them can do anything different"... this one's for you.
GI Joe casting making progress
Ugh. Just ugh.
I wrote a while back about the possibilities for Duke of which there were a few. And the one that I least wanted was that bastard from Step Up. And who gets the role?
As I said... ugh, just ugh.
But it gets worse. Some guy named Joseph Gordon-Levitt [who I just found out is the kid from 10 things I Hate About You] had been rumored to be in the cast for a while now but there was no news on what role he'd be playing. Well, the news broke recently that he'll be playing "Duke's best friend." Right. No such character that we know of, correct? And then it gets one notch worse. Not only is he Duke's best friend... but he turns evil and becomes Cobra Commander. AHHHHHH!
I don't understand how Larry Hama is a creative consultant for this movie and they do something like that.
The hits keep coming as the guy who played Habib Marwan on 24 has been cast as Zartan. Yep, apparently as I predicted they will be using Cobra Commander, Baroness, Destro, Zartan, and the Dreadnoks as villains. Talk about overkill. Destro, you ask? Yep, he's going to be played by a stage actor by the name of David Murray that I've never heard of. And apparently Destro is going to be the main villain with Cobra Commander acting as a "puppet master."
Dennis Quaid landed the role of Hawk... which could be okay.
In an interview with producer Lorenzo Di Bonaventura, he compared the film to Batman Begins in terms of tone and it's desire to be true to the source material but to make the film a litte more grounded in reality. He also says that while the G.I. Joe team will be an international team, they will not be based in Brussels, and that the Joe commander, Duke, is still the embodiment of the "real American hero."
Apparently the Snakes/Stormy feud will be a big part of the movie as well.
One question I have? Where the hell is Stalker? It almost sounds like Ripcord is replacing him which just completely blows my mind.
So, yeah... quite the mixed bag of news there. Comments?
I wrote a while back about the possibilities for Duke of which there were a few. And the one that I least wanted was that bastard from Step Up. And who gets the role?
As I said... ugh, just ugh.
But it gets worse. Some guy named Joseph Gordon-Levitt [who I just found out is the kid from 10 things I Hate About You] had been rumored to be in the cast for a while now but there was no news on what role he'd be playing. Well, the news broke recently that he'll be playing "Duke's best friend." Right. No such character that we know of, correct? And then it gets one notch worse. Not only is he Duke's best friend... but he turns evil and becomes Cobra Commander. AHHHHHH!
I don't understand how Larry Hama is a creative consultant for this movie and they do something like that.
The hits keep coming as the guy who played Habib Marwan on 24 has been cast as Zartan. Yep, apparently as I predicted they will be using Cobra Commander, Baroness, Destro, Zartan, and the Dreadnoks as villains. Talk about overkill. Destro, you ask? Yep, he's going to be played by a stage actor by the name of David Murray that I've never heard of. And apparently Destro is going to be the main villain with Cobra Commander acting as a "puppet master."
Dennis Quaid landed the role of Hawk... which could be okay.
In an interview with producer Lorenzo Di Bonaventura, he compared the film to Batman Begins in terms of tone and it's desire to be true to the source material but to make the film a litte more grounded in reality. He also says that while the G.I. Joe team will be an international team, they will not be based in Brussels, and that the Joe commander, Duke, is still the embodiment of the "real American hero."
Apparently the Snakes/Stormy feud will be a big part of the movie as well.
One question I have? Where the hell is Stalker? It almost sounds like Ripcord is replacing him which just completely blows my mind.
So, yeah... quite the mixed bag of news there. Comments?
Super Bowl recap + UFC Picks Results
So, the Super Bowl was yesterday. I don't really care that much about football but we watched it anyways. Pretty much everyone watching with us was rooting for the Giants... not really because anyone likes the Giants [I felt dirty rooting for any team named "Giants" actually] but because everyone's sick of the Patriots/Brady hype and wanted to see their "dream season" get crushed. It was a slow-paced game but the low, close score made things interesting. The Giants' late score sent everyone into a frenzy and... yeah, game over. The commercials [the real reason to watch] were kinda eh this year but the game was decent. Talk about a switch.
Anyways... UFC Picks Results... blah.
I successfully picked 4 out of 9 fights for an average of: .444
Which puts me at 13 out of 27 for the year, an average of: .482
Moneywise, I started the night at +$57
Lost $30 on the Lytle beatdown of Bradley
Lost $30 on the Griffin/Tibau draw
Lost $20 on my split bet for Sylvia
Won $44 on my split bet for Mir.
Soooooo...
On the night, I ended up down $36.
Which puts me at being up $21 on the year.
Better luck next time!
Anyways... UFC Picks Results... blah.
I successfully picked 4 out of 9 fights for an average of: .444
Which puts me at 13 out of 27 for the year, an average of: .482
Moneywise, I started the night at +$57
Lost $30 on the Lytle beatdown of Bradley
Lost $30 on the Griffin/Tibau draw
Lost $20 on my split bet for Sylvia
Won $44 on my split bet for Mir.
Soooooo...
On the night, I ended up down $36.
Which puts me at being up $21 on the year.
Better luck next time!
2008-02-02
UFC Picks
Here goes nothing...
Just for review:
Picks Average For The Year: .500 (9 out of 18)
Money For The Year: +$57
PRELIMINARY CARD
---------------------------
Rob Emerson vs. Keita Nakamura
Odds: Nakamura -265, Emerson +205
Emerson carries a record of 6-6. He was riding a four win streak until the bizarre No Contest with Gray Maynard last June. 9 of his 12 career fights have gone the distance so don't look for a big KO in this one. Nakamura is 14-2-2 on his career. He's coming off a first round KO win but had two decision losses in the UFC before that. Maybe it's a cage thing?
PICK: Nakamura by decision
BET: No bet
Tim Boetsch VS. David Heath
Odds: Boetsch +210, Heath -270
Boetsch is 6-1 coming off his only career loss [a decision.] This is his UFC debut. Heath is 7-2 on his career and he's coming off the only two losses... one to Babalu and one to Lyoto... not bad.
PICK: Heath by RNC in Rd 2
BET: No bet
Marvin Eastman vs. Terry Martin
Odds: Eastman +160, Martin -200
Eastman is 14-7-1 and at 37 is on the downside of his career. He's the guy who got brought in and fed to Rampage in Quinton's UFC debut. That was his first UFC fight in years so it's obvious what his role is in the UFC's eyes. Martin is 16-3 coming off a loss to Chris Leben in that crazy Leben last minute KO a few months back. This is a match designed to get Martin back on track as he was on a bit of a roll before the Leben fight.
PICK: Martin by TKO in Rd 2
BET: No bet
Kyle Bradley vs. Chris Lytle
Odds: Lytle -600, Bradley +400
Wowsers. Steep odds there. That might be worth an upset bet. Lytle is 24-15-5 and is probably best known for losing to Serra in the TUF Finale and then taking Hughes to the limit. He does have a win over Pete Spratt on his resume but as my friend Poff and I were discussing last month, I think I might be able to take Pete Spratt. Bradley is 13-4 in his UFC debut... nothing much of note on his record. This is going to be one of those "pick one guy to win, bet on the other."
PICK: Lytle by triangle in Rd 1
BET: Kyle Bradley - $30 to win $120
Tyson Griffin vs. Gleison Tibau
Odds: Griffin -450, Tibau +300
More steep odds. Griffin is 10-1 and has been on a tear through UFC. Most of his fights have been going to decision but he's been putting on some of the most exciting fights which makes the UFC happy. Tibau is 15-4 on a four fight win streak. I think this might be closer than the odds would show.
PICK: Griffin by decision
BET: Gleison Tibau - $30 to win $90
MAIN SHOW
----------------
Jeremy Horn vs. Nate Marquardt
Odds: Horn +185, Marquardt -225
Horn owns one of the craziest records I've ever seen at 79-16-5... good grief. But he really hasn't had a win of note since David Loiseau in 2004. Marquardt is 25-7-2 and was on a six fight win streak until Anderson Silva cut that shit short back in July.
PICK: Marquardt by decision
BET: No bet
Ricardo Almeida vs. Rob Yundt
Odds: None
Almeida has a career record of 8-2 but hasn't had a fight since 2004. Yundt is 6-0 making his UFC debut. Jeez, no wonder they're not taking action on this one.
PICK: Yundt by TKO in Rd 1
BET: No bet
Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira vs. Tim Sylvia (for interim heavyweight title)
Odds: Nogueira -165, Sylvia +135
Sad, sad, sad. Nogueira vs Couture would have rocked my fuckin' socks but instead, the MMA cockroach Tim Sylvia survives to be in another title match again. Minotauro is 30-4-1 with wins over some of the best in the MMA game [Barnett, Werdum, Cro Cop, and a ton more.] He won his UFC debut over Herring but it wasn't a dominating performance. Maybe the Pride Curse? Maybe the cage? Who knows. Sylvia is 24-3 with some of the most boring [but effective] fights ever. He's the eternally hated heavyweight champ/challenger and I can very easily imagine him using his reach to keep Nogueira off the mat, clinching whenever Minotauro gets close, and just doing enough to stall out a decision win. I really, really, really hope Nogueira can finish Sylvia and I'm sure the UFC does as well. But how can you not imagine Sylvia winning the belt and wearing it everywhere forever? I'm gonna split my pick again.
PICK: Nogueira by submission in Rd 3
BET: Sylvia $20 to win $27 but I feel fuckin' dirty doing it.
Brock Lesnar vs. Frank Mir
Odds: Lesnar -150, Mir +120
The rumor is that the oddsmakers put Lesnar as the favorite because they figured that's where the money was going to come in anyways, not because they think he'll win. Lesnar is 1-0 in MMA with an impressive win over a unimpressive opponent. We know he can wrestle, we know he's strong as a fuckin' beast, and we know he weighed in at 265... the upper limit for heavyweights. Big motherfucker. Mir is still riding the comeback trail and this is his chance to get right back in line for that title shot. In fact, if Mir pulls off a win here, I bet he gets the next title match. If Brock does... not as sure. Mir is 10-3 in his career but really hasn't been the same since the accident. He's a dangerous opponent for Brock though. Brock's All Access was impressive with his workout but I didn't see him working on his jiu-jitsu like he told us he was. If he's not prepared on the ground, he's gonna be in trouble. My heart doesn't know who to pick here either. Part of me wants to see Brock lose for a lot of reasons. He walked out on the company that made him so he could go play football and when he failed at that, he went to get a paycheck to pro wrestle in Japan... then bailed on them [with their title belt] to sit at home to hold out for more money... _then_ he went to MMA. So don't buy their bullshit that he left the WWE for "real competition." This is a moneygrab and he went to the last option he had left after the WWE turned him down when he wanted to come back. Part of me wants to see Brock win just to see the MMA snobs eat their own asses that a pro wrestler came in and handed a former champ his ass. And I still have that dream of Cro Cop kicking his fucking skull off in Japan [although I hear they're talking of doing a UFC show in Croatia which would have to main event the Pro Wrestler Hunter-Killer.] Sigh. What to do.
PICK: Brock Lesnar by decision [don't think he'll have the tools in place to finish him but he's strong enough to pull a Sylvia against the fence and hold him down on the ground]
BET: Mir [$20 to win $24]
Check back on Monday for the results.
Just for review:
Picks Average For The Year: .500 (9 out of 18)
Money For The Year: +$57
Date: Feb. 2, 2008
Location: Las Vegas, Nev.
Venue: Mandalay Bay Events Center
Broadcast: Pay-Per-View
PRELIMINARY CARD
---------------------------
Rob Emerson vs. Keita Nakamura
Odds: Nakamura -265, Emerson +205
Emerson carries a record of 6-6. He was riding a four win streak until the bizarre No Contest with Gray Maynard last June. 9 of his 12 career fights have gone the distance so don't look for a big KO in this one. Nakamura is 14-2-2 on his career. He's coming off a first round KO win but had two decision losses in the UFC before that. Maybe it's a cage thing?
PICK: Nakamura by decision
BET: No bet
Tim Boetsch VS. David Heath
Odds: Boetsch +210, Heath -270
Boetsch is 6-1 coming off his only career loss [a decision.] This is his UFC debut. Heath is 7-2 on his career and he's coming off the only two losses... one to Babalu and one to Lyoto... not bad.
PICK: Heath by RNC in Rd 2
BET: No bet
Marvin Eastman vs. Terry Martin
Odds: Eastman +160, Martin -200
Eastman is 14-7-1 and at 37 is on the downside of his career. He's the guy who got brought in and fed to Rampage in Quinton's UFC debut. That was his first UFC fight in years so it's obvious what his role is in the UFC's eyes. Martin is 16-3 coming off a loss to Chris Leben in that crazy Leben last minute KO a few months back. This is a match designed to get Martin back on track as he was on a bit of a roll before the Leben fight.
PICK: Martin by TKO in Rd 2
BET: No bet
Kyle Bradley vs. Chris Lytle
Odds: Lytle -600, Bradley +400
Wowsers. Steep odds there. That might be worth an upset bet. Lytle is 24-15-5 and is probably best known for losing to Serra in the TUF Finale and then taking Hughes to the limit. He does have a win over Pete Spratt on his resume but as my friend Poff and I were discussing last month, I think I might be able to take Pete Spratt. Bradley is 13-4 in his UFC debut... nothing much of note on his record. This is going to be one of those "pick one guy to win, bet on the other."
PICK: Lytle by triangle in Rd 1
BET: Kyle Bradley - $30 to win $120
Tyson Griffin vs. Gleison Tibau
Odds: Griffin -450, Tibau +300
More steep odds. Griffin is 10-1 and has been on a tear through UFC. Most of his fights have been going to decision but he's been putting on some of the most exciting fights which makes the UFC happy. Tibau is 15-4 on a four fight win streak. I think this might be closer than the odds would show.
PICK: Griffin by decision
BET: Gleison Tibau - $30 to win $90
MAIN SHOW
----------------
Jeremy Horn vs. Nate Marquardt
Odds: Horn +185, Marquardt -225
Horn owns one of the craziest records I've ever seen at 79-16-5... good grief. But he really hasn't had a win of note since David Loiseau in 2004. Marquardt is 25-7-2 and was on a six fight win streak until Anderson Silva cut that shit short back in July.
PICK: Marquardt by decision
BET: No bet
Ricardo Almeida vs. Rob Yundt
Odds: None
Almeida has a career record of 8-2 but hasn't had a fight since 2004. Yundt is 6-0 making his UFC debut. Jeez, no wonder they're not taking action on this one.
PICK: Yundt by TKO in Rd 1
BET: No bet
Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira vs. Tim Sylvia (for interim heavyweight title)
Odds: Nogueira -165, Sylvia +135
Sad, sad, sad. Nogueira vs Couture would have rocked my fuckin' socks but instead, the MMA cockroach Tim Sylvia survives to be in another title match again. Minotauro is 30-4-1 with wins over some of the best in the MMA game [Barnett, Werdum, Cro Cop, and a ton more.] He won his UFC debut over Herring but it wasn't a dominating performance. Maybe the Pride Curse? Maybe the cage? Who knows. Sylvia is 24-3 with some of the most boring [but effective] fights ever. He's the eternally hated heavyweight champ/challenger and I can very easily imagine him using his reach to keep Nogueira off the mat, clinching whenever Minotauro gets close, and just doing enough to stall out a decision win. I really, really, really hope Nogueira can finish Sylvia and I'm sure the UFC does as well. But how can you not imagine Sylvia winning the belt and wearing it everywhere forever? I'm gonna split my pick again.
PICK: Nogueira by submission in Rd 3
BET: Sylvia $20 to win $27 but I feel fuckin' dirty doing it.
Brock Lesnar vs. Frank Mir
Odds: Lesnar -150, Mir +120
The rumor is that the oddsmakers put Lesnar as the favorite because they figured that's where the money was going to come in anyways, not because they think he'll win. Lesnar is 1-0 in MMA with an impressive win over a unimpressive opponent. We know he can wrestle, we know he's strong as a fuckin' beast, and we know he weighed in at 265... the upper limit for heavyweights. Big motherfucker. Mir is still riding the comeback trail and this is his chance to get right back in line for that title shot. In fact, if Mir pulls off a win here, I bet he gets the next title match. If Brock does... not as sure. Mir is 10-3 in his career but really hasn't been the same since the accident. He's a dangerous opponent for Brock though. Brock's All Access was impressive with his workout but I didn't see him working on his jiu-jitsu like he told us he was. If he's not prepared on the ground, he's gonna be in trouble. My heart doesn't know who to pick here either. Part of me wants to see Brock lose for a lot of reasons. He walked out on the company that made him so he could go play football and when he failed at that, he went to get a paycheck to pro wrestle in Japan... then bailed on them [with their title belt] to sit at home to hold out for more money... _then_ he went to MMA. So don't buy their bullshit that he left the WWE for "real competition." This is a moneygrab and he went to the last option he had left after the WWE turned him down when he wanted to come back. Part of me wants to see Brock win just to see the MMA snobs eat their own asses that a pro wrestler came in and handed a former champ his ass. And I still have that dream of Cro Cop kicking his fucking skull off in Japan [although I hear they're talking of doing a UFC show in Croatia which would have to main event the Pro Wrestler Hunter-Killer.] Sigh. What to do.
PICK: Brock Lesnar by decision [don't think he'll have the tools in place to finish him but he's strong enough to pull a Sylvia against the fence and hold him down on the ground]
BET: Mir [$20 to win $24]
Check back on Monday for the results.
2008-02-01
OHHHH LAKER FANS!!!
Just heard the rumor that apparently this Gasol deal is going down. Kwame/Javaris/picks for Pau friggin' Gasol.
That's amazing. Incredible. Awe-inspiring.
We haven't won anything yet but that's a hell of a big step to take towards that.
Mitch should win an award instantly and for Laker fans around the world, it's time to start drinking to celebrate!
That's amazing. Incredible. Awe-inspiring.
We haven't won anything yet but that's a hell of a big step to take towards that.
Mitch should win an award instantly and for Laker fans around the world, it's time to start drinking to celebrate!
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